A dangerous plan
just this time
A stranger's hand
clutched in mine

- I was made for loving you

🌸🔪🌸

Jangmi

"I'll do the dishes, imo." Yoongi politely said before taking the plates to the basin. Omma was about to insist but I immediately held her wrist gently and mouthed to let him do what he want.

Yep, we're currently in my house.

Surprisingly, these days have been very peaceful. It's been weeks ever since we showed up here and... lied to my family.

So the story of how I was lost goes like this: We were kidnapped, then I was able to escape without Jae Eun. I met Min Yoongi who happened to be passing by the warehouse I was in then helped me to get away from my kidnappers. We hid for days until we're sure that the kidnappers won't find us. Then one day, I was about to go back home but I can't because we found a dying stranger at the corner of some street whose name is Park Jimin. Because of fear that Jimin might not make it, Yoongi called a friend named Taehyung for help since they knew such things about curing wounds and stuff. Then as we wait for Jimin to get healed, we stayed in their place for quite a long time until I decide to look for Seokjin oppa then days after, go back home.

That is the story everyone in this house have been told. Obviously... everything is perfectly a lie. It's frustrating to lie to my parents because I've barely done that before. And the fact that all of these aren't some kind of a joke and so we have to watch our mouths and be careful with our words. It's not easy to hide all these stuff.

But well, things got fine. It's already christmas season and my parents said they were just thankful because I came back. For them, it was the best christmas gift they've got.

After doing the dishes, Yoongi, Jimin and I dressed up to go visit Jae Eun's grave. We have to be extra ready because of the snow outside. Oppa told me that the police found Jae Eun's dead body in an abandoned place and I know where that is: Tennyson building. They probably found her after we left and moved to The Abandoned Ware.

The three of us left the house and bought flowers before going straight to the memorial park.

"Feels weird to visit a victim." Yoongi muttered under his breath. I just smiled. What he said is true.

"You're the one who killed her?" Jimin asked like a surprised child.

"Mason did."

"Jinjja?" They both asked in unison. I slightly nodded and looked away. Flashbacks about my last eye contact with Jae Eun before the door closes came through my mind and I felt a slight pain in my heart. I can't help myself thinking her whole life ended just like that. It's horrifying.

"We're here." I spoke when I saw a huge arc on one side of the road. We entered the memorial park and searched for Jae Eun's grave by following the directions omma gave us.

Soon enough we were able to find her grave. I gulped as I read the tombstone where her name is imprinted. I didn't even realize that a tear already fell down from my eye.

We all sat on the floor in front of her tombstone. Good thing, this area isn't that wet so we can still sit on the ground. I began arranging the flowers to the side.

"Your hand's trembling." Jimin said as he took the flowers from me and arranged them himself.

I never had a chance to reminisce my memories with Jae Eun, to heal myself from her loss because almost all sorts of unexpected realities happened and time flew faster than we expected. And now that I'm right in front of her buried body, I just don't know how to feel.

Do you hate me now, Jae Eun?

"I... have friends in my workplace but she's my best friend there." I spoke with a small smile.

"She hates me on my first day at Machiatto coffee shop and I did too, it's just that I'm not good at expressing my negative feelings so I end up smiling at her sometimes which makes her feel more irritated."

"Why do you hate each other?" Jimin asked.

"There really is someone whom you hate for no reason." I laughed. "It happens."

"How did you become friends then?"

"Well, I accidentally poured coffee on a customer's shirt and of course, the customer got angry. But then she got too far and Jae Eun stepped up to defend me. The manager scolded her and tried to fire her for talking back to the customer but I stepped up for her as well. It was a give and take relationship and that's how our friendship began."

It feels nice to remember that moment. We didn't expect for all of that to happen and whenever we talk about it, we'll begin to laugh over the times we hated each other for no reason.

I noticed Yoongi who just sat in silence while in deep thoughts. His eyes are glued towards Jae Eun's tombstone.

"You didn't kill her." I muttered and intertwined my hands with him.

"But this feeling I feel now is the same like the day I drowned my cousin."

"No offense but... didn't you get used to doing... um... this?" Jimin asked and Yoongi shook his head.

"My cousin is the first person I killed and is also the last. I never ended someone's life intentionally."

I frowned and turned to him. "You said you kill people."

"It's what I think of myself. But the truth is my members are always the ones in charge of killing the hostages."

"What is your role then?"

Yeah. How did he become a leader if he wasn't even the most evil? Isn't that how someone becomes a leader? He should be... the toughest.

"I'm the one who plans before we rob someone, or before breaking in a house or a shop. But we were clear that I'll stay away when it comes to hurting someone physically."

Oh. That's also considered tough. And smart.

"So you're the genius in the group?" Jimin muttered boringly and Yoongi nodded proudly.

After a moment of silence, Jimin stood up which made us look at him.

"You know, maybe you need some time alone with her so, hyung kaja." He pulled Yoongi's arm and they bid me goodbye before leaving. This is just an open space so I can still see them walking side by side from afar.

Thank you Jimin.

I placed my hand on the flat tombstone and traced her name engraved on it by using my fingers.

There are a lot of things I wanted to tell you.

Yoongi

"So..." Jimin broke the silence and stared at me friskily. I raised my eyebrows at him in confusion.

What's with this guy today? Tch.

"Any plans?"

"What plans?" I asked back. The excitement on his face disappeared as his shoulders collapsed and let out a groan. What is he talking about??

"I have so much plans in my mind so be specific."

I have plans about our safety, about the secrets we keep, about doing our best to stay away from Lilac or from those bastards-

"I'm talking about your plans with Kim Jangmi noona." He answered.

Oh.

I gazed at him and he clapped once in front of my face. "Wake up hyung. Until now you're still not in a real relationship."

I didn't see that coming. But he's right. Until now we're still... we have mutual feelings but not in a relationship.

"Your relationship right now cannot stay like that forever. Or else you might only end up getting hurt and confused."

"Why are we talking about this?"

"Because it's already christmas and I'll die first before you make her your girlfriend."

Wow. Look who's talking. Yes he's been able to get nearer to Da Hee immediately but who cares? They don't see each other now.

I better not say that.

"I should take her to a date." I bit my lip and tried to contain my smile. Jimin's face lit up and gave me two thumbs up.

"That's my hyung!" He shouted as I laughed at his actions. Jangmi and I agreed that this guy acts like a complete dork at times, and it even gets a lot crazier when he's with Taehyung.

We went silent after that and walked around to entertain ourselves. I looked at Jangmi's direction, she's talking and smiling alone but I know she's talking to her friend.

Sigh. Every time I remember that her friend died because of our doing, guilt engulfs me. And it's not a good feeling.

I met my group when I was walking alone in a place which happened to be a dark and lifeless road. Welp, I wasn't in my right mind so I have no idea where I was going. Then these group of guys just my age suddenly blocked my way and tried to take my stuff but I managed to defend myself from them. We began fighting each other until I was the only one left standing, untouched. Even I was surprised by my ability because all I know is I can fight but I didn't know I could be that strong. Maybe because I got used to getting into fights in my school.

I get into fights because there are bullies who bullies my friends or some other people and-

sigh. I defend people who gets bullied but I ended up becoming a criminal. So ironic.

Back to the story, once I got the chance to talk to the group who tried to steal my belongings, I immediately questioned them about who they are. And their leader's name is Mason. Then I decided to join their gang.

What they do seems fun. I thought to myself years ago. Little did I know that one day I will eventually get tired of all my carelessness and all the shits. I thought my whole life will be wasted just like that but Jangmi came in my life.

So I should not waste anymore time then.

"How the fuck will I impress her??" I blurted out which caught Jimin's attention.

"Good luck." He winked.

That's all he could say?? Shoot. I'm doomed.

🌸🔪🌸

"What are we doing here?"

Silence...

"Um... hello?"

Silence...

"Min Yoongi."

"We are going.... somewhere!"

I gave Jangmi the brightest smile I could give but I think I creeped her out. Confusion clouded her face as she stared at me. I bet she thought I already went crazy.

I decided to have a picnic with her tonight. So I brought a big tent, some food... and a guitar.

"You play guitar?" She asked while staring at all the stuff at the backseat. I just nodded hesitantly. I practiced for four days. Ever since we got back home, I borrowed Jin hyung's guitar and he immediately agreed, knowing what I will do with it. I practiced the song I chose to sing but unfortunately I'm still not that confident about playing a song in front of her after four days of practice cause I don't know this! Damn.

"Hey, you know that tonight is christmas right?"

"Yeah,"

"You're not kidnapping me right?"

I laughed a little at her question as I focused on parking the car at the side.

"Okay. This is getting weirder. Since when did you know about this field?"

"Kaja." I smiled at her one last time and got out of the car, leaving her dumbfounded. I began picking up our stuff and felt my heart beating faster which only happens every time I'm with Jangmi. But my attention is on the guitar. How the fuck will I do this? I don't have the guts. I'll look one hundred percent stupid in front of her when I play this piece of junk.

"Yoongi where are you taking me?"

"Come on."

I swung my arm on her shoulders and we both walked together as she help me carry our things.

I'm calling all the Gods from above. I know I wasn't the good person you wanted me to be but please, just this time, I hope I won't make a mess. It's our first date. I'm taking her on our first date.

Whoo. You can do this.

"Yoongi!"

I dropped the things I'm holding because of shock and the next thing I know, Jangmi is already a few distance away from me. I ran towards her but then someone suddenly grabbed my hands and secured it on my back. She tried her best to escape but a guy beside her began covering her eyes with a hankerchief.

Jangmi.

🌸🔪🌸