Though my lips call you,
you can't hear me
Though my heart wants you
you can't feel it

- Growing Pains

🌸🔪🌸

Jangmi

I remained silent while sitting along with these two guys. I can't remember how long did we stayed here, but I'm sure that they're planning something inside their evil minds right now. If ever they suddenly point each other a gun, I will just use that as my chance and run away as fast as I can.

Oh sure, that's a good way to get myself killed.

But atleast I've got new clothes already, we bought some.

"What now?" Jimin broke the silence.

I shifted my gaze to Yoongi, waiting for him to answer. But he just looked away.

I leaned back on my seat and closed my eyes. I feel like giving up in life myself.

Earlier, Park Jimin explained himself a bit more to help us see what is going on. He told us that he is the leader of their group. Yoongi didn't believe at first since we saw how Jimin was frightened while being chased by Mason and the others. Then that's how we began to know his story.

He said he got tired of being the bad guy. He wants to get rid of endless fights, victimizing innocent people, hiding from the police and not being confident that he's still breathing as tomorrow comes. That's why instead of arguing, he just decided to run away. According to him, he had been doing that since last month. Running away from riots and rumbles. Which was the reason why he is all alone, he parted himself from his own gang.

And I don't know why but Yoongi fell silent after everything Jimin had said.

"What now?" I repeated when Yoongi still didn't make a move. We've been wasting a lot of time.

"Park Jimin, let's talk. Outside." Yoongi headed outside the car.

I turned to Jimin who didn't even move an inch.

"Is he going to kill me?" He blurted.

What?

I opened my mouth in attempt to say something, but closed it again as I realize that I'm not sure about anything. Jimin seemed as if he got scared from my reaction.

"What?? He will?"

I shook my head and tried giving a smile. "N-No... No he won't..."

I squealed when Yoongi banged the door from outside and you could already say that he's starting to get impatient. Jimin frustratedly ruffled his hair before going out.

I let out a sigh when Jimin stepped out of the car. He won't hit Jimin, or kill him... I guess. I hope.

Ugh. Seconds ago they both figured out they were enemies and now they stood face to face talking? Yoongi is really something, he is someone you cannot figure out easily.

I watched the two of them talk and it looks like they are discussing a serious topic. I wonder what it is.

Hm. I'm bored. Let me try reading the two guys' expressions.

Yoongi kept on talking as if he is explaining something to Jimin very carefully.

Jimin frowned. What? Why did he do that?

Yoongi leaned on the post behind him and looked away. Jimin ruffled his hair again and blew some air out of annoyance.

Now I'm getting more curious. Why do I feel like what they were talking is something that one cannot joke of easily?

Jimin swiftly swayed from side to side while looking down. I think something's going on in his mind. Correct me if I'm wrong, but his expression seemed like he is making a tough decision.

Looking at Yoongi, he just blankly stared at Jimin with his arms crossed. I think it also matters to him whatever Jimin is going to do or say.

After a couple of minutes, Jimin finally looked up. He closed his eyes and took a very deep breath.

Then he nodded to Yoongi.

Then Yoongi cracked a small smile.

Then Jimin asked for a handshake.

Then Yoongi happily recieved it. But instead of shaking their hands, he just recieved it as a bro high five. Yeah they did a high five.

So are they friends now?

What in the world is happening?

Don't tell me they are now friends?

What? They got out of this car just to make quality time?

Wait, no. That doesn't make any sense.

They are not similar to others who owns a friendly heart. Their mindsets were very different, they know how to do bad things really well. So the two of them going out of this car just to talk about simple things is just a waste of time for them.

Which means their topic is something serious. But... what is it? Is it about me?

If not then why would they give effort getting out and distancing themselves from me? And the fact that Yoongi initiated the talk. He has a plan in his mind.

I bit my lip in sudden nervousness.

A killer talking to a killer. Two criminals doing a high five. Smirks and laughs. Serious faces one cannot predict. Private conversations.

No. Whatever my head's been hallucinating, it can't be.

I thought we made ourselves clear? He will not harm me. Did he change his mind?

The two of them turned towards the car's direction and with that my heart started to race. It even got worse when I saw Jimin smirk at me.

I was right. They planned to kill me!

I immediately unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car without any hesitation then ran as fast as I can.

I'm willing to lose all of my energy from running just to get away from them.

I kept on running and looked back to see where they are. I screamed when I saw the two of them chasing me.

"Leave me alone!"

How can I forget? They are criminals. They are still criminals. They don't know how to make friends, they only know how to do bad things. It doesn't matter if he told me his personal life. It doesn't matter if he shared me his sandwich. It doesn't matter if he lent me his clothes. It doesn't matter if he protected me from Mason and the other guys.

He's still going to kill me at the end.

I teared up without knowing the reason why. Why am I crying? Seriously? Jangmi why should you waste your tears to people like him?

Min Yoongi...

"Kim Jangmi!" I heard him called. I ignored it and kept on running not until I suddenly tripped over. I screeched as my body rolled on the ground and continuously hit my head.

"Aaah!!" I cried and curled my body in pain when I finally stopped rolling. There is only one sure thing I know right now, they will catch me.

As if on cue, I heard loud footsteps from behind and his voice calling my name.

"Jangmi! Jangmi!" Yoongi shouted out loud. He sat behind me and lifted me from the ground. He let me lie on his arms and caressed my face very carefully as if I'm a perfectly fragile girl.

"Jangmi? Gwaenchana?"

Why is he asking me this? Why is he acting like a concerned guy towards me? I thought... I thought he...

"Fuck. What the hell are you trying to do? Why are you running??"

I shoved his hand away while trying hard to hide my tears from him. It's too confusing. Everything is too confusing.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

"Jangmi," He called again. I continuously hit his chest not until he caught both of my wrists. "Calm down."

"Let me go." I pleaded with my eyes closed. "I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to die. I'm scared, I'm–"

"Hey."

My mouth instantly shut up because of that one word. That one word in which he spoke very softly. Wherein his voice sounded like a kind-hearted man calming down a reckless and traumatized person.

I slowly opened my eyes. Panting from worry and tense.

I fixed my gaze with his orbs and just stared quietly. My hands were still slightly trembling from fear.

"I'm here." He spoke with his low and husky voice. "What are you scared of?"

What am I scared of?

Whether you are a friend or a bad guy.

That's what I'm scared of.

I don't know what is real and what is bluff. What is true and what is fake. If you're just decieving me or you really want to help me. I feel bad for not trusting you but what can I do? You aren't just any simple guy anyone could befriend easily.

"I guess she got scared of us." Jimin butted in. We both looked up to him.

"I saw her face while we're on our way back to the car, Yoongi." He continued explaining then faced me. "Jangmi, did you think we will harm you?"

How did he know? His conjecture was right on point.

I held my breath when Yoongi carefully pushed me, motioning for me to sit on the floor. I simply obeyed without speaking a word.

He held both of my shoulders and asked.

"Is that true?"

I kept quiet.

"Is that true, Jangmi?"

This time, I can't help anymore but to look down on the ground.

"Fuck."

Yoongi stood up and sighed sharply which made me look at him. I didn't know what to do when I saw him harshly ran his fingers through his hair as if he seemed seriously frustrated about something.

I know what that something is.

Mianhae. For not listening. For making you feel worthless. For seeing yourself as a cruel monster whom I won't let myself get attached to. But if you put yourself in my shoes, I hope you understand. It's also very hard for me to decide whether I should try giving you my trust or just run away to surely save my life. But still, I'm sorry.

He looked down to me. His eyes were like fire because of intense anger– and sadness.

Yoongi is disappointed but I don't understand the reason why. But I'm starting to get scared again.

"Can't you atleast trust me?"

I immediately stood up and held his arm in attempt to explain but he just simply shoved my hand.

Yoongi faced Jimin. "You..." He paused for a while and sighed once more.

"...know what to do."

I glanced at Jimin who just responded with a small, pitiful smile to Yoongi. I don't understand the meaning of those expressions they had on their faces, the only clear thing in my head right now is the heartbreaking feeling of the thought that I hurt him.

Yoongi calmly turned around and walked away. I want to call his name but no words escaped from my lips.

I was left frozen, watching him go. I don't know why and I don't know if it's right but my heart just felt like it shattered into tiny pieces.

Yoongi...

"He won't harm you, you know." Jimin, who is currently leaning against the wall said. I shifted my gaze to him.

"What do you know?" I spat back.

"Not much." He shrugged and stared at Yoongi too. "But..."

I frowned at him. But what?

"I know some things."

He knows some things like what? And is it about Yoongi? But that's impossible. They just met a couple of minutes ago so I don't think I'd believe if this Park Jimin says he knows some things. Even if it's just some.

He took a cigarette out of his pocket and lighted it. I watch him in disgust as he blow out the smoke coming from his mouth. What do cigarettes taste that almost everyone loves it?

He took a step closer to me.

"We're both guys, Jangmi. I understand how he felt and it is all about his pride and ego. You showed him how scared you were to him. And believe me, you got to give him a chance to prove himself."

"Who are you to say those? You don't know anything."

"There is also one confidential thing that only the two of us knows. One thing that you do not know. Even though it is about you."

My heart skipped a beat. Is he talking about their conversation earlier?

"Yeah. When we're outside the car." Jimin continued talking and for a second I thought he just read my mind.

"So..." My voice cracked but I still tried my best to give a smile. "It is about me."

"Yes. And if I tell you what it is, you just won't understand."

Why won't I? I could keep up with things easily and understand.

But Jimin just sounded like I am really someone who ain't gonna understand the situation. Why? How complicated was their conversation?

"Why not?" I asked in a very dull way. But I felt like being shot as he answered me back.

"Because you don't trust him."

And with that, I was left dumbfounded.

"You could try again. If you're willing to." He continued. "And if you were... then try to catch him up right now. Immediately."

Immediately. Catch up. I could try again?

"Why do you think I'm still here, Jangmi?"

This can't be good.

My mind kept on telling me that Yoongi left... for good. That's what my mind concluded after Jimin's words. Yoongi left for good. Yoongi left. Permanently.

Andwae.

"We talked about protecting you. And I'm here to walk you home, to keep you safe, to watch you closely. That's his last request."

"Mwo??" I shrilled. "Last request?"

He slightly nodded.

"Park Jimin what the hell are you talking about?!"

Hearing the phrase 'his last request' did not sound very fine to me. In fact it felt like something on my back felt too heavy that suddenly I wasn't able to breathe in just a snap of the fingers.

"Can't you see? He already let you go."

🌸🔪🌸