Staring blankly ahead
Making my way, making my way
Through the crowd

- A Thousand Miles

🌸🔪🌸

Jangmi

Yoongi... explained everything to me.

When he said that the deal is to kill me afterwards, I was scared.

But to know that today is the day, I don't know how to react.

I can't believe how it happened, but I was able to live in this hell for about three days already. Here I am, quietly sitting down. This may sound a bit weird but... I wonder where Yoongi is right this time. It's just early in the morning.

Omma, appa, Seokjin oppa... Are you doing well today? Or perhaps, have you already found out that I've been kidnapped? Sigh. Just thinking about how my family will react about this already drives me insane. Especially my mom, she'll be depressed in no time.

Yoongi suddenly barged in the room.

"Yah." He called and threw me a piece of- what is this? A sandwich?

Wait. Sandwiches are food!

Wait what- why would he- a sandwich? Why in the world is he giving me a sandwich?

I shot him a puzzled expression. He sat down and started removing his shoes. Wow, he doesn't even feel anything at all. Is it just normal when a criminal gives food to its prey? Maybe there's still a lot of things I needed to know.

A few seconds passed and when he was about to remove his mask and cap, thank God he finally recognized my gaze.

He looked at me blankly and raised his eyebrows. "Mwo?"

"Why are you... giving me these?" I referred to the food. "Are you asking me to eat?"

My eyes widened when he suddenly took off his shirt. What the- just like that?!

"Omo!" I immediately closed my eyes.

"Tss. There's no need to do that."

"And why is that?" I uttered.

"You've seen everything already."

Oh. My.

"MWO? YAH MICHEOS–" I better not finish my sentence since it could infuriate him. Ehem.

But- I know I've seen everything but that doesn't mean I can look again anytime I want to! Who does he think he is? I can't believe this.

"And I want that sandwich."

I opened my eyes. What did he say? Is that a form of taking back what he just gave?

"I-I thought–"

He made a slurping sound. Like he is irritated or what. "I gave it to you? That's because I want you to feed me. Don't you know that?"

Feed him?? So this wasn't for me? And wow, he wants me to feed him? Argh. Excuse me sir you have two feet and two arms. You're completely normal. Why do I have to feed you?

If only I can say those things. Sigh.

He stood up and walked towards me. Take note he still does not have a shirt on. So I tried my best to look away.

He sat beside me as he examine a... knife?

It is beautifully designed. A cherry blossom flower was imprinted at the edge of the knife's holder. If you hold it still, it just has this plain metallic color. But if it is moved, you can see a glimpse of blue and red colors smudged all over the knife. Kinda like there was fire.

He's holding it since the moment he entered earlier but I realized just now.

I gulped and quietly took one seat apart.

"I said feed me." He commanded. I did not make a single move and just watched him carefully. What if he suddenly stab me with that thing?

He tilted his head in disagreement. "Am I being too kind? You don't listen anymore."

He started to play with his knife assuming it is some kind of a toy while thinking of something deep.

He shouldn't worry about me not obeying him. If he's thinking that I'm not scared anymore, then what am I doing right now? Trying to avoid him because he's holding a knife. Didn't he know that?

I just continued watching quietly as the knife nicely dances on his hand. Anyone could tell that he's an expert in holding these weapons.

I almost jumped out of my seat when he suddenly held the knife tightly. He shot me a curious look.

"You're afraid?" He asked, referring to the weapon. I stayed still.

Yes I'm afraid of that thing. Who won't be? When all along I already know that his job was to kill me. I couldn't even sleep in peace last night because of fear that one of the guys might suddenly hurt me.

He sighed. "Haven't I told you yesterday that I'm not doing it?"

"B-but that's yesterday."

Confusion was written all over his face. "Huh?" He baffled.

"You might have changed your mind." That could be one hundred percent possible. Maybe yesterday he won't agree to kill me, but he might forget that and suddenly decide to do the other way around.

"Where did you get that–"

"You kill people. You have the mind of a criminal. So who knows?"

"I know."

Ugh. Fine.

But that doesn't mean I can trust him already. I can't easily do that. He is still a criminal.

We heard a loud banging from the main door of this whole place. I think someone entered in a rush.

"Yoongi! Min Yoongi!"

"Mwo?" Yoongi answered. It was Mason who is calling him.

"We need to get out of here. They are searching for us."

My eyes widened. What? Who? The police?

"Who?" Yoongi calmly asked.

"Lilac."

I faced Yoongi and saw his expression turn sour. "Mwo??"

"Yeah bro. Lilac and her squad."

Yoongi stood up in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair. I can see that he's having a hard time right at this moment. But... who is... Lilac? His girlfriend?

Yoongi pointed a finger at me. "You. You need to tag along. Whether you like it or not."

He began examining his drawers one by one, dragging important things along with him. Examples are gold earrings and necklaces, some clothes and money.

"W-Waeyo?"

"Because you're my hostage." He stated and closed all of his drawers. He placed all the things he held inside his backpack.

Nice. You could easily tell that he is in a hurry because of that person named Lilac. But who is Lilac? Wait, are they another gang? They kill people too? But the name Lilac sounds like a girl's name though.

He ran towards me and grabbed me by the wrist. "Kaja."

We stepped out of the room and found Mason along with the other guys. They all looked at me in shock.

"Why are you still alive??"

"Ah." Yoongi butted in and pulled me to his back as if he became my shield from the boys. "This is my business. Get lost."

"Arasso but you better do the deal." Mason repeated.

"Now let's go before they see us." Another guy exclaimed and in just a split second, we're already outside.

They all ran- oh I mean we, yes because Yoongi dragged me along with them. Now I'm doing my best not to fall over especially this area is somehow a rocky road.

Yoongi suddenly stopped running and gave me a serious look. He sighed.

"Wae gurae?" I asked.

"You're going to get us caught."

He suddenly knelt down the ground while here I am, facing his back. What will he do?

"Get on."

"H-huh?"

"Ppali!"

I was startled when he shouted but since he scared me, I immediately followed him even though I'm still clueless on what he is about to do. By any chance, is this... a piggy back ride?

"Hold tight."

"Wah!" Yes it is a piggy back ride!!

I can't help but to squeal when I felt myself lift from the ground. Now Yoongi was carrying me while I'm busy clutching my arms around his neck since I've been scared that I might fall down. He continued running again.

"Am I heavy?" I blurted out.

"Maybe?"

"Then am I light then?"

"Uh... maybe?"

What kind of answer is that? Now I don't know if I should be embarrassed. I'm being carried by a dangerous person, that's one sure thing.

After a while I saw a car near us. They all ran towards it and got in immediately. Yoongi made me enter the car first. He was about to get in too but he eventually just froze on his spot, looking at the guy beside me.

I followed his gaze, and this guy beside me shot me a frisky look. What the– this is not good.

"I'll drive." Yoongi spoke and dragged me out of the car.

"You go on the passenger seat." He added and knocked to the door of the passenger seat where Mason is sitting right now. Mason opened the car's window and gave Yoongi a questioning look.

"Get off." He ordered and opened the door for Mason. He is still holding my hand while insisting for me to stay on his back, as if he's protecting me from getting near Mason.

There's this one thing I realized, he's been guarding me from all of them ever since. And I don't know why.

Mason's expression was like he doesn't want to get off but ended up doing so since we're in a hurry. When he  already sat in the back of the car, Yoongi motioned for me to get in. He quickly ran to the other side and started the engine.

There was silence the whole ride and I swear to god I'm the one who feels most awkward. Riding peacefully in one car along with a bunch of criminals is something big. I couldn't move nor breathe normally.

"When will you plan on doing it?" Mason broke the silence. "She's even here with us. Who knows she would suddenly run away and head to the police?"

Apparently, he is talking about me.

"Try me." Yoongi answered shortly which made Mason shut up. Yoongi glared at me and I looked down in fear.

Yes I was scared that's why I looked down, but there's another thing he told me yesterday.

--

"Remember this, if we're around them, act like how you do before."

"You mean... Terrified?"  I asked and he nodded in response.

I bit my lip and can't help but to let out a small laugh. "I've been always terrified. No need to remind me."

"I'm reminding you since it's one good way to save your life."

What? Save my life? Why is he saving my life though? I'm confused.

--

In short, I need to act like a scared dog towards my master every time Mason and the other guys are around us. That's what Yoongi asked me to do because like what he said... it'll keep me safe.

"Won't you ask about Lilac?" Mason spoke
again.

"If you got anything new then that's the time you speak."

"Bro she texted me before."

"So?" The car stopped for a bit because of the red light.

"Marry her and she'll never spill your current situation."

I glanced at Yoongi once I heard the word 'marry' and I saw his jaw clench as his hands tightly held the wheel. He seemed upset.

"That's what she said." Mason added.

Marry? So I was right, Lilac is Yoongi's girlfriend? And what did he say? Spill his current situation? Spill Yoongi's secrets? Was that the reason why they all evacuated from that place? Wait no it isn't, that Lilac girl already knew about Yoongi being a criminal so he doesn't need to hide at all. Then what?

This guy has seriously a lot of secrets.

Yoongi kept on driving until we reached another abandoned building. So this is where they'll move?

"We'll be back to Tennyson building tomorrow, for now we stay here." Yoongi said as he turn off the engine. We all got out of the car and the cold breeze touched my face. Oh, I remembered that snow is about to come. I wonder when it is. This weather felt refreshing after all what happened to me.

Sigh. I want to be free.

🌸🔪🌸

I'm now currently standing beside this room's window as I watch the guys sitting outside. They were laughing, telling stories, drinking beer and all. While here I am, still locked up.

But I'm quite curious about Yoongi. He's not even talking. He is just quietly sitting beside them and kept on drowning himself with too much alcohol. He seemed as if his senses was not with him.

Yoongi told me that this'll be our room for tonight, the only room upstairs. There are three rooms here in total, two rooms downstairs and one upstairs. He asked me to stay here to make sure the others won't dare go inside.

I sat on the bed and can't help but to sigh. I don't know what to do.

It's already midnight, the boys have been drinking since eight. It's been four hours already.

Won't he stop? Is he going to destroy his own stomach??

Woah. Why do you care Jangmi? Ugh.

As if on cue, Yoongi knocked on the door and peeked inside. What the- he's drunk isn't he?

"Annyeong~" He greeted and entered. I immediately stood up and took a step away as soon as he fell straight on the bed. I don't want to sit beside him at this moment. No. Way.

Seconds passed and there was silence everywhere. Why isn't he moving? Is he... dead?

*Snorts*

Oh no he's not.

"Phew. What a relief." I breathed and caught my chest. I glanced at him from the back. Let me just watch him, I wanna know if he's still doing good.

I tip-toed towards him and sat on the floor beside the bed as I examine his face.

He has a very flawless face. And he seemed more gentle when he sleeps. Like... Like he is far from who he really was. That's how he looked. He looks far from being a bad guy who curses, steals and kills people.

If only he tries to be a little bit nicer...

I suddenly remembered what mom said when I was younger. She told me that every single thing has a reason.

Reason why you live. Reasons about our fates, reasons about everything.

Now I'm starting to ask myself...

"Why are you doing this, Min Yoongi?"

🌸🔪🌸