Feels like this could be forever right now
Don't wanna sleep
cause we're dreaming out loud

- AM

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Jangmi

Now I'm starting to ask myself...

"Why are you doing this, Min Yoongi?"

His eyes suddenly opened and looked straight into mine.

His dark brown orbs... th-they look beautiful- but sad. Why?

I looked away since I suddenly felt uneasy. A few seconds later just when I was about to get up, he spoke in a soft tone which is something very rare.

"You wanna know why?"

And with that I gazed back at him and nodded as an answer.

He turned around, facing the ceiling. He started talking about himself, or more like... opening up. I was surprised that he'll really do it. We didn't even know each other that much.

"I was hated." He began. "By many people. My friends, my relatives, my family."

He spoke in such a low, husky voice. He sounds calm as if this isn't the same guy who kidnapped me.

Family? He was hated by everyone and even his own family? And look at him right now, it's like the story doesn't struck him at all. Like it was a normal thing to happen. Don't tell me... He got used to it already?

"When I was around fifteen years old, I accidentally... uh... killed someone."

My eyes widened. "Killed someone??"

"U-huh." He chuckled.

"W-Who is it?" I questioned.

"The twin of my cousin." He murmured. "They were around... nine years old back then. When I accidentally... pushed her in the pool."

That was heartbreaking. How was he able to live until now?

"I'm a minor too that time so... my dad ended up in jail for my sake. My relatives hated me, my friends avoided me, my mom and my older brother... well, I don't know."

Huh? "What do you mean?"

"At first they were by my side but as time pass by, they started acting as if I weren't there."

I stayed silent.

"My life was a complete hell since that day. Ah, so this is how it felt to be treated like a trash."

"What did you do?" I asked, motioning him to continue.

I saw a small sad smile form on his face. "I begged."

"Great. Then the next thing is that they talked to you again is that right?" I stated with a happy tone.

But I felt like I got dragged down when he slowly shook his head as a sign of 'no'.

"And there's a moment in your life where you'll get fed up by the things upsetting you and just... burst out. That's how I became a criminal."

I suddenly felt really bad for him. I don't even know he had this kind of life. Mom is right, there are always reasons to things.

"I tried begging for their attention, asking every person I met to help me, to be a good person again. God knows I did."

I didn't know how it happened but, a tear escaped from my eye. Maybe because of pity. And I started sobbing in between my breaths too.

I looked up to him and smiled. "You're a strong man."

He seemed taken aback from what I've said. He slowly looked back to me, unsure if he heard right what I had just said.

"For me, you're a really strong one." I added. And as if on cue, I saw a tear escape from his eye as well.

A tear. From his own orbs. Yoongi cried. Min Yoongi cried. The person I was scared the most just cried... right in front of me.

He let out a small laugh. "Am I?"

"Yes." I agreed even though his tone had a note of sarcasm. For me, he really is a strong one. He could have just ended his life if he wants to.

"Sucks to be me." He said in a matter-of-fact tone. But I just shook my head.

"I'd love to be you." I spoke out and shrugged. "Except for the criminal part though."

And for a second we laughed about it. We laughed, something I never imagined we would do together.

And we also cried together. What a night.

"Where are they right now anyway?"

"Doing great I guess?"

"You don't... miss them?"

He remained silent.

Maybe he's not ready to show his true feelings towards his family yet. He had gone through a lot, it's understandable if he somehow ended up getting confused about how he really feels.

"You don't need to answer if you don't want to."

"Arasso." He nodded. "Do you remember, Lilac?"

"Yeah? What about her?" I asked. That would be nice if we start talking about her since I've been too curious already. "About the marrying part–"

"That's what I'm scared of." Yoongi cut my sentence. He sighed frustratedly. "She has a connection with my mom. Which means she could tell them about who I am right now."

"And?"

"And I don't want that to happen. I don't want to make my image worse in front of them. I'd rather choose to be a lost kid. I'd rather choose for them not to see me for this whole lifetime."

I was caught off-guard. Sure, he wants to see his mother again. But if seeing her means another risk, then I could also tell that being alone forever would be better. Huh, Yoongi had a lot of problems, and a lot of risks to take.

"So it means you'll marry her? Lilac?"

"Of course not." He frowned.

"Fine you won't. But how is that? If you don't marry her, your mom will find out that you're a criminal. But if you do, then... you'll be saved."

"I'm still finding a way to get myself out of those choices. That's why I'm running away from her. Once she see me face to face, she'll do all kinds of sweet talks and blackmails."

"Tch. What a bitch." I scoffed.

She doesn't even know how hard Yoongi lives and yet she's blackmailing him? Maybe she had a great life then, I hope she trips over wherever she was right now. Wait why do I feel like someone had their eyes on me? It's making me feel uncomfortab– oh. It was Min Yoongi.

"Mwo?" I raised an eyebrow. He turned to my direction and rested his head on the palm of his hand. He had this playful smirk all over his face which kinda freaked me out.

"So, you curse too huh?"

Omo! I did? What did I say? The 'B' word?

I placed both of my hands on my cheeks and began whining.

"Andwae!"

Where did you learn that Jangmi?? That is so, so bad! Very evil! Ugh where did you get that from??

I started panicking so bad that I ended up murmuring the things I say in my mind.

"I'm just upset for Yoongi. That's all! Wah mianhae I cursed! I feel like I'm a bad person! Oh wait I need to brush my teeth."

"Hahaha!" Yoongi laughed. How can he laugh at a situation like this?? I just cursed! I just cur–

Wait what?

Yoongi laughed?

Yoongi laughed??

How??

I stared at him in disbelief with my mouth half opened. No way. Min Yoongi. The serious guy. Is laughing. He really laughed. I saw that smile! And it's an adorable smile! Omo what do you call that? A gummy smile? Whatever! He laughed and that's the only thing important!

"Wae?" He asked. His voice also made me go back to my senses.

"E-Ehem... N-nothing." I awkwardly answered. You laughed and I was surprised. That's all.

He faced the ceiling again and sighed.

"What is that for?" I can't help but to raise an eyebrow at him.

"Huh?"

"You sighed."

"Ah." He shook his head. "Nothing. I'm just happy."

"Happy? Wae?"

"Maybe because... after so many years I finally found someone whom I can share my stories with."

"Hmm, right." I agreed and nodded continuously. "Yeah you should be happy. I mean, we barely even know each other but I still listened to you."

That's something to be bragged about, people. I just had a serious talk with a criminal. And he's just not any criminal. Because he's about to kill me, he's a killer too. How many times have I said that already? He is my killer.

Bear with me I'm just proud of doing something kinda funny and ridiculous.

"What about you? Any dramas to tell?" He asked in a mischievous tone.

"Well..." I paused for a while. I don't have much to tell since I did fine ever since I was a kid. But let me try to play along for a while.

"...There is nothing much except,"

He gave me a curious look and I shot back a smirk.

"For that one day. That one day where I thought I could finally experience being a manager. But then... a bunch of guys kidnapped me." I whispered my last sentence to tease him. And I succeeded.

"Yah. That's the story of how you got here!"

"But I don't have anything else to tell."

He just sighed in defeat. "Whatever. Go on."

"So where was I? Oh yeah I got kidnapped. And then... my friend was killed."

I remembered Jae Eun again. My smile disappeared as I felt sadness for the nth time, the same way I felt when I saw her get shot.

"Mianhae."

H-He is sorry?

I looked down the ground.

I miss her. I suddenly missed her which made me want to cry again. But there's no point on being sad for today, Jangmi. Try letting your grudges go just this once.

I sighed and finally cracked up a smile. I'll stop getting bothered for a while first.

"Then the evil guy named Mason along with the others forced me to go with them. I ended up being their leader because of some events. Do you get it? Those times when I'm the baddest."

He scoffed, knowing it will be his part in the story now.

"And then I was brought to this guy. He pulled me towards the bed and–"

Yoongi's eyes widened a bit.

I stopped too after realizing what is currently going on. Ugh pabo. Are you sure Jangmi you're going to speak about those things?

Probably not.

"And I was... okay... let's not talk about that." I shyly uttered which earned a laugh from him.

"I'm sorry for that too."

I'm not yet ready to accept any apology. So I just looked away.

That was never a joke. Every girl's virginity was never a joke. So you can't blame me, I can't accept his sorry now. Not yet. I need more time to think.

"I know you can't forgive me yet Jangmi. I understand that. But I just wanted to let you know that I'm truly sorry–"

"Honestly..." I cut him off and look him straight in the eyes. "I wanted to hate you. So much."

Yoongi got up, sat down properly and looked down the floor. His expression on his face right now told me that he is sincere. I can see it on his face.

But then again, why?

"But," I continued. "I now understand it. That moment when you said doing that is the only way to help me live. I now understand."

And with that he looked back to me for being surprised. Maybe he doesn't expect for someone to trust the things he said. Or maybe he was just shocked because plainly, he never expected that I'd believe the things he said.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded as an answer. Yes I am, I really am.

"So, the next day uh... this scary guy gave me clothes. And believe me I was confused until now to why did he bothered giving me clothes. He told me not to catch a cold too."

"That's because you'll pass me your cold."

I rolled my eyes. "Aish. Arasso."

"What happened next?" He asked as he lie back down the bed again. Wow, so now he seemed entertained with my story? Because he's in there too. Pfft.

"Then that guy told me things about this so called plan– specifically a plan about me. The only thing I remember from that plan is when the guy said he should kill me. Sad right?" I stated in a sarcastic tone.

"Tch." He boringly replied. "That's not sad because that guy told you–"

"That he won't kill me. I know. Tsk." I cut him off. I'm fine now. I will believe him that he will not do it so no worries.

"And then?"

"The next day, that guy suddenly barged in the room and threw me a sandwich."

I remember that. When all along I thought that food was mine but he insisted for me to feed him. Anyway that's fine, we ended up sharing it.

"At first the guy demanded me to feed him." I said the word 'feed him' out loud to trigger him and I wasn't wrong.

"I shared it to you when we got here."

"Oh that's right. And thank you for that." I giggled. "Look my story's about to end!"

"Go on then."

"There's this girl named Lilac and the guy wanted to avoid her. So he and his friends– along with me moved from that place to this place."

"We call that place Tennyson building. And we call this place as The abandoned ware."

Fancy they give names to these places. I just shrugged.

"Okay so currently we're staying here. In this place called... The abandoned ware? It's now midnight and all of the guys were drunk. I am now in a room-again with this scary guy and... I just had a late night conversation with him." I chuckled. "The end."

"Nice." He commented and nodded his head. "What do you think about that guy?"

I tilted my head as I try to find words to say. Right, what do I think about him?

"Um... First of all he is scary." I started off and it made him laugh even though what I said is true.

"Second, he is very, very mysterious. Third, I don't want to say this in front of him but... I'm quite curious about that guy too. Fourth, he is a strong boy and five, I was bound to be killed by him."

He turned to face me and raised his pinky finger. What is that for?

"You forgot number six." He told me.

"What is it?"

He smiled again. Woah he really has a cute smile! Can you believe that?

"Number six. This guy, who is bound to kill Jangmi..."

He paused for a while and winked at me.

"Will get her out of here tomorrow."

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