First, it was the lingering stares. 

Soobin doesn't think Yeonjun has noticed him following his line of sight at the mall. The contemplating look as his eyes took in the new skirts on display. He always waits for his boyfriend to decide where they'll go next, hoping he'd walk over there. 

Then it was the hair. 

The short and deadly look grew out into a little mullet. Soobin always complimented how cool he looked. But something felt unsatisfying to Yeonjun. When he came home from a day out with his best friend, Soobin had to pick up his jaw off the floor. 
The black mullet was traded in for a cotton candy soft pink. Yeonjun beamed with pride at his new look. Soobin was speechless to the change. 

"It's pretty, right? Right?" Yeonjun had eagerly pestered. 

Soobin tucked his hair behind his ear. "Yeah. Pretty." 

The dazzling smile warmed the entire room. Soobin was so happy to see his Yeonjun be happy. Soon after, as his hair grew more, accessories followed. Pins, ribbons, braids, hairbands. Watching from out of sight as Yeonjun played with all his new things in the bathroom mirror. Soobin leaned against the wall, seeing his boyfriend become prettier and prettier. 

"Soobinnie!" 

Soobin snapped out of his trance and pretended he wasn't standing outside the bathroom. 

"Yeah?" He responded, coming into view. 

Yeonjun turned to him. "Is this pretty?" 

Yeonjun had his almost shoulder-length hair straightened, quarter parted on his left side. That side was pulled back with a hairpin that had a red ribbon glued to it. At this point, Yeonjun traded in the pink for a blond. The golden hue accentuating his milky skin. 

Soobin cradled his jaw and leaned in for a chaste kiss. "Mhm. The prettiest." 

He was rewarded with another bright smile. Yeonjun reached up and drew his hands through Soobin's black hair. 

"Soobin-ah, let me dye your hair," Yeonjun whined. 

"Ugh. I won't look good," Soobin groaned. 

Yeonjun shook his head. "You're always handsome." 

Soobin applied small kisses to his lips. "If you think so." 

Soobin was hesitant to admit that the deep purple Yeonjun picked out for him actually looked nice on him. Yeonjun became even more obsessed with running his hands through Soobin's hair. More than a few times landing himself under Soobin when the smaller man scratched him too well. 

The hair changes were soon followed by clothes. 

When Yeonjun pulled out the long-sleeved crop top from the first of many birthday presents, he looked at Soobin with so many questions in his eyes. 

Soobin awkwardly scratched behind his neck. "I saw that you were looking at it. If you don't want it, I can just—" 

"No!" 

Soobin looked up from his timid rambling. Yeonjun was staring at the piece of cloth with unshed tears. He dropped it back into its box and scrambled to fall into Soobin's arms. The quiet sniffles and warm tears muffled into his neck. Soobin silently wrapped his arms around him, gently rubbing his back as the sobs wracked his body. 

"T-Thank you, so, so much," Yeonjun said between sobs. 

Soobin pressed a comforting kiss on the top of his head. He buried his nose into the fruity scented silver hair of his boyfriend. "It's okay." 

The sobs grew at such simple words. His arms tightened more around Soobin's shoulders and Soobin reciprocated. 

Bit by bit, Yeonjun's wardrobe is filled with new clothes. As the winter came, soft sweaters with flattering colors were his obsession. Kisses and thanks befell Soobin as he gifted Yeonjun a pink and very expensive cropped sweater. He was adamant to wear it out for their Christmas dinner. Soobin insisted he could wait for a less frigid day but Yeonjun quieted him as he stepped out in the sweater. Matched with light washed jeans, the older half fidgeted with the sleeves under Soobin's eyes. 

"How does it look?" Yeonjun asked, placing a shy hand over his exposed belly button. 

Soobin took that hand and threaded their fingers together. "You look..." 

Yeonjun looked up with uneasy eyes. Soobin felt like he fell in love again as Yeonjun gratefully wore his gifts. 

"Beautiful." 

Yeonjun let out a giggle and threw his arms around his neck. Soobin hummed as his fingers made contact with the smooth skin of Yeonjun's back. Soobin pulled back from their embrace. 

"Let's go. If we stay any longer, you won't be wearing that anymore," Soobin cheekily informed. 

Yeonjun hit his shoulder, hiding the blush growing along his face. Soobin pressed a kiss onto his cheek in between chuckles. 

Come spring, Yeonjun's closet received more changes. Crop tops came first. Long-sleeved, short-sleeved. Different colors, patterns, materials. Each new piece, Soobin affectionately showed how gorgeous he thought Yeonjun was. 

As the weather grew warmer, Yeonjun eyed even more clothes. 

"Soobinnie..." 

Soobin turned toward Yeonjun who was staring at something. Yeonjun held out a thin spaghetti strapped top. The material was perfect for this warmer weather. 

"Hm?" Soobin hummed. 

Yeonjun looked up with puppy eyes. "Do you, do you think this will look good on me?" 

Soobin brushed his thumb across his jawline. "Why don't you try it on, Junnie?" 

Soobin has since stopped calling Yeonjun Hyung. The latter hesitated to even voice his discomfort. Soobin didn't question it, only patiently asking what he would like to be called instead. Soobin chuckled so lovingly as Yeonjun confessed that he loved it when he called him Junnie. 

Yeonjun's eyes widened and darted around. "In here?" 

Soobin clasped their hands together, placing a kiss on the back of Yeonjun's. "I'll go inside with you, so you don't have to walk out in it. Hm? How's that?" 

Yeonjun bit his lip in thought. Soobin smiled softly, encouragingly pulling him toward the dressing room. Yeonjun wavered before allowing himself to be guided to the private rooms. He zoned out as he let Soobin talk with the employee in charge of the dressing rooms. 

Soobin led him into a room in the corner. Yeonjun snapped from his thoughts when he heard the door close behind them. Soobin sat down on the bench in the corner, reassuringly smiling at the nervous half. Yeonjun fiddled with the straps of the shirt. 

"Could, could you...close your eyes?" Yeonjun stuttered. 

"Afraid I might eat you right here?" Soobin teased. 

Yeonjun squeaked and blushed at the shameless comment. Soobin laughed, covering his mouth from how loud it was. 

"I'm sorry. Go ahead," Soobin relented, closing both eyes. 

Yeonjun waited until he was sure his unbelievably mean boyfriend truly wasn't looking. He sheepishly shed his t-shirt and threw it in Soobin's face for revenge. He giggled under the fabric, removing it and bunching it up in his hands. 

"Can I look now?" Soobin questioned. 

"Not yet," Yeonjun quickly answered. 

Yeonjun eyed the shirt more. After finding the tag on the back, Yeonjun slowly slipped it over his head. The cool and thin material brushed his skin as he fitted it over him. 

"You can look now." 

Soobin opened his eyes to see Yeonjun shifting uncertainly. Arms folded behind his back, showing off the tight shirt that hugged all his curves. The shirt just stopping at his hip bone, a strip of skin peeking out with every slight movement. The lack of sleeves let his collar bone and the light muscles of his chest and arms be on display. 

"H-How is—" 

Yeonjun couldn't finish the sentence before Soobin grabbed his hips and crushed their lips together. The bigger man pressed him into the wall, stealing more and more of his breath. Yeonjun cradled Soobin's jaw as the younger poured all his affection into their embrace. Soobin reluctantly separated, leaving behind light pecks on Yeonjun's reddened plump lips. 

"You're so, so beautiful," Soobin whispered into his lips. 

"S-Soobin-ah," Yeonjun replied, his voice cracking. 

Soobin continued to rain praise. "I'm so lucky. To know you, to have you, to love you. You're so gorgeous with everything you do." 

Yeonjun sniffled. "Soobinnie, you're going to make me mess up my makeup." 

Soobin breathlessly laughed, running a thumb across Yeonjun's bottom lip. "Oops." 

Yeonjun swatted his chest, making Soobin groan. He settled his arms on top of Soobin's, carefully leaning his head on his chest. Soobin pressed a kiss on the top of his head and rested his chin. 

Soobin should have expected the next thing Yeonjun wanted to get comfortable in. 

He had exhaustedly shuffled into their shared apartment after one of his longer days of class. Soobin sluggishly toed his shoes off and followed the scent of food floating from their little kitchen. He was yawning as he turned the corner. 

"Junnie, what did you—" 

Soobin's mouth went dry as the sight sunk in. Yeonjun was reaching for plates to begin dinner. 

Giving Soobin a perfect view of the skirt he had on. 

The simple black skirt wasn't too short. Even as Yeonjun stretched, the hem didn't pull up to reveal any hidden curves. Yeonjun paired it with the first crop top Soobin gave him. Soobin's brain completely stopped trying to process what he saw. 

"Y-Yes?" Yeonjun responded. 

Usually, Yeonjun would shyly ask Soobin of his opinion on a new change in his wardrobe or hair. Soobin caught on to the fact that he wasn't prompted and collected himself. He crossed the kitchen to help bring the plates down. Not missing a moment to bring out Yeonjun's timidness as he caged Yeonjun in between him and the counter. 

"What did you do for dinner? Smells great," Soobin continued. 

"I-I ordered short ribs. Felt like..." Yeonjun trailed off. 

He peeked through his lashes at the taller man. Soobin leaned his hands on either side after setting the plates down. His expression had a mock interest as the mischievous tinge in his eyes shined through. 

"Pigging out." 

"I don't know, you seem pretty tasty to me," Soobin drawled. 

Yeonjun's breath hitched as Soobin leaned down, drawing closer to his neck. Yeonjun closed his eyes, feeling the hot air bathe his skin. Soobin snickered as he left a brief kiss on Yeonjun's neck and grabbed the plates to set the table. 

"I'm gonna go wash up," Soobin informed, walking toward the bathroom. 

Yeonjun wordlessly nodded, still slumped against the counter. He smiled to himself as the butterflies in his stomach settled. He breathed in deeply and continued to set the table. He was in the middle of cleaning up the delivery bag and setting down drinks when he felt arms wrap around his stomach. 

"Thank you for wearing the shirt," Soobin mumbled into his nape. 

Yeonjun scoffed. "I love this shirt." 

Yeonjun felt Soobin shake his head. "It means a lot to see you wear it." 

Yeonjun reached back to run his fingers through Soobin's hair. Soobin hummed at the feeling. Yeonjun pivoted in Soobin's arms, wrapping his around his neck. He connected their lips in 3 small pecks and met his eyes. 

"It means a lot that you got it for me." 

Which leads to now. 

The turning point. 

Soobin excitedly looked in the direction of the door as he heard keys jingle from the hallway. He had gotten out of class early and wanted to drag Yeonjun to the summer festival for a surprise weekend trip. He shut his laptop and sneaked to meet Yeonjun at the door. His steps faltered as quiet sniffles drifted from the doorway. 

"Baby." 

Yeonjun's head shot up. Wet trails of tears covered his cheeks, nose red from repeated rubbing. He stumbled back when he realized it was Soobin. 

"W-What are you doing home?" Yeonjun interrogated. 

Soobin gathered Yeonjun in his arms. "My last class was canceled, I was going to surprise you." 

"What's wrong?" and "What's the problem?" sat idle on Soobin's tongue. But Yeonjun's trembling lips and intensified sobs told him to wait until he was ready. Soobin pressed Yeonjun to his chest, letting him ruin his shirt with his running makeup and snot. He shushed into his ears, waiting for the initial sobbing to subside. 

When he returned to light whimpers, Soobin led him to the bathroom. Flicking the lights on, Soobin turned Yeonjun to the mirror. Eyeliner smudged, lip stain smeared, eye shadow nearly wiped off. Soobin stood silently behind him, taking out the hair ties that drew back his hair. He ran his fingers through the wavy blue hair. Yeonjun tilted slightly into his touch. Soobin let his hands fall to his hips. 

"Junnie, can you lift your arms for me?" Soobin quietly requested. 

Yeonjun held his arms up, giving Soobin room to take off his shirt. He dropped his hands back to his hips, drawing his fingertips across the exposed skin until he hit the waistband of his shorts. 

"Can I take this off?" Soobin whispered. 

Yeonjun nodded once. Soobin unbuttoned the shorts, carefully pulling them off. Yeonjun was guided to stand in their shower. Soobin rolled up his sleeves and drew warm water into the basin beneath the faucet. Taking Yeonjun's washcloth, he soaked it and wrung out the excess water. Soobin stood up, bringing it to Yeonjun's face to gently wipe off the day's dirt. 

"There's my Junnie," Soobin cooed as Yeonjun's face was void of makeup. 

Yeonjun couldn't help but react to his favorite pet name. He shared a small smile, closing his eyes when Soobin laid a kiss on his lips. The two stayed quiet as Soobin continued to wash Yeonjun from head to toe. When the slightly blue water went down the drain, Soobin wrapped Yeonjun up in a fluffy towel. Rubbing him down briefly to dry him off. 

Soobin wiped his hands dry and reached for the hairdryer. The pair faced the mirror, just the harsh hum of the machine filling the silence as Soobin brushed Yeonjun's hair. When he was done, he tugged his fluffy burrito into their room. Soobin dried him off the rest of the way, throwing the towel onto the bed. Yeonjun awkwardly stood in the nude, watching Soobin search for pajamas to wear. 

He shyly stepped into the underwear and shorts Soobin picked out, holding his arms up again as Soobin slipped one of his oversized sweatshirts on him. Yeonjun yelped as Soobin picked him up and carried him back to the living room. Clinging tightly, the couple moved into their cozy living room. Soobin sat Yeonjun on the couch, grabbing the thin blanket to cover him. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on to a random channel. 

"Oh, let me go put a new shirt on," Soobin noted, remembering the stains on the front of it. 

Yeonjun blushed as he watched Soobin tug his shirt over his head, just catching a glimpse of his smooth abdomen before he walked off. Yeonjun played with the loose threads of the blanket, waiting for Soobin to come back. He looked up in response to Soobin petting his head. Soobin put on one of his hoodies, Yeonjun noticed the bare collar bone peeking out. 

Soobin casually nestled next to Yeonjun, flipping the channel to an animated movie. The volume was just loud enough to hear but low enough that conversation wouldn't be drowned out. Soobin had Yeonjun's small hand in between both of his, absent-mindedly rubbing the back as his eyes stayed on the screen. 

"Soobin, am I weird?" 

Soobin almost got whiplash from how Yeonjun decided to open up. He turned his body fully facing Yeonjun, never letting go of his hand. 

"What? No. Never," Soobin denied. 

The sniffles began again. "I like...wearing pretty clothes, with pretty hair." 

Soobin applied a kiss to his forehead. "You are pretty." 

"But I'm a boy, who wears skirts and likes pink," Yeonjun whispered. 

Soobin furrowed his brow. 

"Do you...feel like a boy?" 

A beat passed before Yeonjun tearfully shook his head. 

"Do you feel like a girl?" 

Another shake of his head. 

"What do you feel like?" Soobin prompted.
 
Yeonjun paused. "I feel like...Junnie." 

"Then you're Junnie," Soobin concluded. 

"Soobin..." 

"Mhm..." 

Yeonjun fiddled with Soobin's fingers. "Sometimes...it would be okay...for you to say Noona." 

"Mmm, is that what you want me to call you?" Soobin weighted. 

"When...we're alone, for now," Yeonjun confirmed. 

Soobin nodded. "Okay, Noona." 

Yeonjun squirmed in delight over hearing the title come from Soobin. Soobin chucked, whispering it again close to his ear, causing Yeonjun to slap his hand. 

"Is there something else bothering you? Why were you crying as soon as you came home?" Soobin continued. 

Yeonjun bit his lip. "I've felt...wrong lately. When you're in class..." 

Yeonjun stopped and watched Soobin. Soobin offered a comforting smile. 

"I let out how I feel. I, I didn't want you to see me cry. I didn't know how to explain it." 

Soobin couldn't hold back the saddened expression on his face. He held both Yeonjun's hands up to his lips, placing frustrated kisses all over. 

"Wrong about what?" He muttered into his skin. 

Yeonjun swallowed. "About myself." 

Soobin waited for Yeonjun to speak more. He didn't quite understand how to put it into words. 

"I...struggled a lot, before I met you. I had a lot of 'what ifs' that I didn't feel safe exploring. But you encouraged me and it felt like a safety net." 

Yeonjun wiped a tear that fell down his face. "But I keep thinking, 'What do I really want?' Do I want to be a woman? Do I want to be a man who wears skirts and makeup?" 

"What do you know you want? Let's start from there," Soobin encouraged. 

Yeonjun chewed his lip. "I, I know that I don't want to be called Hyung. I feel...good when you say Noona. I love how it feels to sometimes go out in a skirt or a crop top. I..." 

Yeonjun looked at Soobin with watery eyes. Soobin hummed against his hand, leaving a supportive kiss. 

"I love how you look at me when I'm like that. That nothing changes whether I'm in a skirt and crop top or a t-shirt and jeans. The way you help me brush my hair and when you learned how to braid it for me." 

Yeonjun pulled their coupled hands to his lips, repeating what Soobin did to him. "I'm still struggling and understanding where I am, but you're there at the end of it all." 

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Thank you so, so much for telling me. I will listen to whatever you have to say, please believe me when I say that," Soobin reassured. 

Yeonjun let out a thankful sob. "Why are you so amazing?" 

Soobin scoffed. "That's my line." 

Yeonjun opened his mouth to deny it but the monster-like growls from his stomach disrupted him. Yeonjun embarrassingly covered his stomach at the sound. Soobin rubbed over his hands. 

"It's time to feed my Noona. What do you want to eat?" Soobin cooed. 

Yeonjun blushed at the title again. "Can we get pho?" 

Soobin nodded. "You can have whatever you want." 

"Can we get a puppy?" 

Soobin flicked his forehead. "Don't get too spoiled." 

He laughed at the pouty expression on Yeonjun's face. He squished his cheeks, massaging them between his hands before wiping away his tears with his thumbs. 

"My Junnie shouldn't cry," Soobin said softly. 

"I'm still pretty when I cry," Yeonjun defiantly stated. 

Soobin nodded. "So pretty." 

Yeonjun snuggled into Soobin's side, near purring as Soobin dragged his nails across his scalp. 

"Soobin-ah." 

"Mhm." 

"You're still ordering pho, right?" 

"Yes, Junnie."

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

A/N: It's been a while since I've uploaded. I've been juggling many projects and ideas, not really satisfied with how it's come out. But recently, I've discovered a new idea, this one. I spent quite a bit of energy on it! I'm not sure how well this will do on Wattpad. But I wanted to post anyway.

I'll wait a little longer to post the next chapter. Next one is a R18 chapter! I'll be marking explicit chapters in the titles for it to be clear and listing the main themes in the beginning. This is a slice of life, so it will tackle so many sides that deals with sex, love, mental health, relationships, very sweet moments, very hard moments.

You're free to keep reading the teen rated chapters, if you're not comfortable with explicit content. Every part is a moment in time, while still linear and telling a cohesive story, it's not telling a story arc. There might be references to a previous part, or just references to things in the passage of time not illustrated.

Please feel free to comment and vote! I'm open to answer anything about this opening chapter and future ones! Thank you for reading as always!