The slightly warm but empty space beside Yeonjun made his eyes open as he rolled over. The golden rays of sunshine still signaling the early morning's start. He squinted at the bright beams that warmed his face. He looked around their dim room. Soobin was nowhere to be found.
 
Suddenly, a guttural sound echoed from the hallway. Yeonjun narrowed his eyes at the noise. He slipped out of bed, he waddled over to the dresser with tenderness. He silently cursed under his breath at the discomfort of another night spent in bliss. He pulled out a pair of sweats, pulling it on as he walked out.
 
Another sound met the air. Now that he was closer, he could understand what he was hearing. Yeonjun carefully approached the bathroom, tapping the door with his knuckles.
 
"Soobin-ah," Yeonjun quietly called out.
 
He didn't wait for an answer, slowly inching the door open. There he was. Arms weakly leaning on the seat like it was his life preserver, forehead damp with fever-induced sweat. Hair clinging tightly to the wetness, eyes hazy with delirium. Soobin lifted his head slightly at Yeonjun's entrance, smiling faintly.
 
"Hey, beautiful," Soobin greeted.
 
His faked brightness was short-lived, quickly angling his face into the toilet bowl. Vomiting ensuing briefly, already consisting of air and acid. Soobin pulled back, spitting the sour taste from his mouth ineffectively. He rested his forehead to his arm, breathing in softly.
 
Yeonjun fell to his knees next to him. Placing his hand on Soobin's forehead, confirming the obvious fever that wracked his body. Soobin leaned into his touch, humming peacefully.
 
"Mmm, you're cold," Soobin mumbled.
 
"How long have you been in here?" Yeonjun questioned.
 
Soobin groaned as he shifted to face Yeonjun more. "Dunno. Maybe an hour."
 
Yeonjun's eyes watered. Seeing his usually strong and doting boyfriend lying weakly in front of him was hard for him to accept. Soobin, who knew what to do in any situation, was sick and the one in need of care. He inhaled his tears, trying to concentrate on matching the care Soobin gives to him.
 
Soobin noticed his hesitation. "Hey, hey. I'm okay."
 
"I know. I'm just..." Yeonjun began. "Let me be worried."
 
Soobin softly laughed. "Noona, why are you crying? It's too early."
 
Soobin took in a deep breath after that tease took a chunk of his energy. Yeonjun nodded, brushing the sweat-soaked hairs away from his forehead. His brain went through the laundry list of things he needed to do before he could relax. He bit his lip, worrying if he would be able to stay with Soobin.
 
"Soobin-ah, I'll be back, okay?" Yeonjun assured.
 
Soobin nodded once. "Don't rush."
 
Yeonjun scrambled to his feet. He left the bathroom, stopping in front of their hallway closet. He scanned its content, thankfully locating the stash of masks they had for fine dust days and extra cleaning gloves. Yeonjun dashed into the kitchen, grabbing the plastic stool they kept. He returned to the bathroom, stirring Soobin from his half-awake state.
 
He listened to Yeonjun walk around him to their shower, setting down the stool. He felt the cool touch of Yeonjun's gloved hands on his bare shoulders. He sleepily responded to it.
 
"Soobinnie, do you think you can stand?" Yeonjun questioned.
 
Soobin mumbled, cautiously letting Yeonjun anchor him to a standing position. Yeonjun kneeled in front of him, pulling off his stuffy sweatpants. Soobin let out an amused huff, which made Yeonjun glance up.
 
"What?"
 
Soobin leaned against the sink. "Nothing. Just... the first time you've kneeled in front of me and I'm not anxious."
 
Yeonjun grew pink. "You're so lucky that you're sick."
 
Yeonjun stood up, leading Soobin to the stool. Soobin sat with relief, the room becoming still. Yeonjun filled the basin with cool water, soaking Soobin's washcloth. He dabbed Soobin's skin, applying a refreshing layer of water to the hot surface. Soobin sighed as the flames died down.
 
"Is that better?" Yeonjun whispered.
 
Soobin nodded slightly. His eyes drooped from the relieving touch of Yeonjun wiping away his sweat. They fluttered open, feeling Yeonjun step away. The distant sloshing of the water before Yeonjun returned with a refreshed cloth. Soobin flinched as the cold water hit his shoulders. Yeonjun silently wiped him down, the sound of water filling the space. Soobin leaned his head on Yeonjun's chest as he gently poured water over him. The calming sensation of being cooled down slowly lulling him back to sleep.
 
Soobin sniffled, raising his head to press his lips to Yeonjun's shoulder. "Thank you."
 
"I'm sorry I was asleep," Yeonjun muttered.
 
The tears swelled again. Soobin didn't have to look up to know Yeonjun was feeling helpless again. Yeonjun shivered as he felt Soobin's uneasy hands settle on his hips. A reassuring squeeze brought the first tears to pool at his mask.
 
"Junnie, what's wrong?" Soobin worried.
 
Yeonjun's grip on the cloth fumbled. "I'm a little lost."
 
The words settled in the air. Soobin moved his arms to wrap around Yeonjun, loosely holding on. Yeonjun rested his hands on Soobin's shoulders.
 
"I know I'm an adult but..." Yeonjun continued. "I'm so used to having you as my cushion at the end of every day if I stumble. I-I don't know what to do."
 
Soobin groaned as he sat up to look Yeonjun in the eye. "Jun."
 
The seriousness of his tone made Yeonjun blink away lingering tears.
 
"I'll be fine, you'll be fine," a deep breath interrupted. "I just need to rely on you a little more today, okay? Don't think that I don't rely on you every day too."
 
Yeonjun nodded in understanding. Soobin smiled, squeezing his eyes shut as another wave of nausea hit him. Yeonjun's eyes widened seeing Soobin moan through the pain.
 
"Do you need to puke again?" Yeonjun questioned.
 
Soobin swallowed. "N-No. I'm, I'm fine. Can you help me get to bed?"
 
Yeonjun rushed to wring out the water from the cloth. He grabbed his towel, patting him down from head to toe. Making sure every inch of him was dry. Yeonjun gently lifted Soobin's arm onto his shoulders, bringing him to his feet. The pair shuffled out of the bathroom, sharing awkward laughs as Yeonjun chaotically dragged Soobin into their room.
 
Soobin sat on the edge of the bed, watching Yeonjun search through his clothes. He turned with a tank top and shorts in hand. He maneuvered Soobin's body into his fresh clothes, pulling him under the covers. Soobin sighed as his head rested on the cool side of the pillow.
 
"Baby," Soobin called.
 
"Mhm," Yeonjun answered, brushing the bangs out of his face.
 
"Can you please get my laptop and email my professors that I'm not coming in?" Soobin requested.
 
Yeonjun nodded, getting up from his side. He paused to pull their trash bin over to Soobin's side before going to rummage through his backpack. He carried the laptop back to the bed, sitting cross-legged on his side. Soobin carefully turned over to face him, absent-mindedly rubbing his thigh.
 
"What are your classes today?" Yeonjun asked, opening Soobin's email.
 
"What's today?"
 
"Wednesday."
 
Soobin hummed with discontent. "Child Behavioral Therapy and Early Childhood Development."
 
Yeonjun clicked on the emails marked with those classes. Typing and sending messages to Soobin's professors about his absence. As he sat watching them be sent, he remembered his responsibilities. He reached over to the bedside table for his phone, nervously dialing Soobin's uncle.
 
"Mmm, are you calling my uncle?" Soobin prompted.
 
Yeonjun nodded. "I almost forgot to."
 
Soobin moved his hand to Yeonjun's stomach. "You don't have to stay at home with me."
 
"Of course I am," Yeonjun immediately denied.
 
He got quiet as he heard the dial tone stop. "Hello?"
 
"Boss," Yeonjun greeted.
 
"Oh, Yeonjun. What's up? Why are you calling this early?" Soobin's uncle questioned.
 
Yeonjun put his hand over Soobin's. "Soobin woke up feeling sick. I still have to take him to the doctor, but can I take the day off? I'm sorry it's such short notice."
 
His uncle sighed. "I don't know. Not many of you are available today. I'll see if anyone can help out, I'll message you later. Take care of my Soobin, okay?"
 
"Of course, sir. I'll be taking him soon, message me any time," Yeonjun assured.
 
He dropped the phone to his lap as he heard the call disconnect. Soobin scooted closer, pressing his face into Yeonjun's side.
 
"What did he say?" Soobin said.
 
"He might not be able to squeeze anyone in," Yeonjun confirmed.
 
Yeonjun held in his anxious tears, choosing to get up from the bed. Soobin watched from the corner of his eye as he saw him go through his closet.
 
"I'm going to shower and fix breakfast. Rest your eyes, okay? I want to take you to see a doctor, in case I still have to work," Yeonjun informed.
 
Soobin nodded, eyes already closed and mind drifting away. Yeonjun hesitated, watching Soobin bury his head further into his pillow. He forced himself to turn away, precious time wasting away from hovering.
 
≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪
 
Yeonjun looked up as he felt fingers thread through his hair. Soobin stared down with dimmed eyes. Soobin turned his head to cough suddenly, groaning at the mildly disorienting dizziness from moving too fast.
 
"All finished?" Yeonjun quietly said, standing up from his seat.
 
Soobin nodded, holding up the bag with his medicine. "The doctor gave me some cold medicine."
 
He threaded their fingers together, leaning his head on Yeonjun's shoulder. The warmth against his neck made Yeonjun frown. Soobin's mask tickling underneath his chin. Yeonjun wrapped an arm around him, rubbing his back with calming strokes.
 
"Mmm, okay. Before I fall asleep again," Soobin protested, standing up straight.
 
He tapped his forehead against Yeonjun's. The smaller human smiling contently, pulling his sick boyfriend out of the hospital. The taxi ride back to their apartment spent with Soobin softly snoring in his ear, the eldest chewing his lip as he waited for his boss to message him. Yeonjun dragged Soobin into the elevator, Soobin leaning against the cool surface of the walls. A chime from his phone makes Yeonjun scramble to open it.
 
Soobin sleepily watched Yeonjun frantically check his phone. He didn't need to hear what he read, based on the heavy sigh and the way Yeonjun's shoulders sank like the world weighed down on them. Quiet sniffles drifted from his disheartened shape.
 
"Junnie, it's okay," Soobin reassured.
 
Yeonjun didn't say a word as the elevator opened on their floor. He silently held up Soobin, pulling him down the hall to their apartment. Soobin stared down at the back of his head, Yeonjun keeping his head down as he unlocked their door. The taller man was at a loss, feeling frustrated that he was limited to how much he can interact with Yeonjun. He came out of his thoughts as he felt tugging on his shirt.
 
"Do you want to try eating something with your medicine?" Yeonjun whispered in the quiet space.
 
Not wanting to poke at his obvious sadness, Soobin hummed approval. "I would kill for toast."
 
Yeonjun walked Soobin back to bed, leaving him while he toasted a few pieces of bread. Soobin sighed, leaning his head against the wall behind their bed. He rarely gets this sick, save a few minor infections. He knew how much Yeonjun wants to take care of him because he's done it so many times for Yeonjun. As Yeonjun entered the room, placing Soobin's medicine and a glass of water on the nightstand, crawling next to him with a neat plate of toast, Soobin felt his own tears threaten to fall.
 
"What's wrong? Does it hurt anywhere?" Yeonjun questioned as he saw Soobin's watery eyes.
 
Soobin shook his head, tears shaking loose. "Nothing. I just really appreciate you."
 
Yeonjun laughed in disbelief. "Then why are you crying?"
 
"Because you don't seem to think I do."
 
Yeonjun's look saddened at the sentiment. "I'm, I'm just really trying to do as much as I can. Your uncle—"
 
"Told you that you can't stay. I guessed," Soobin interrupted.
 
Yeonjun nodded, looking down when tears fell again. Soobin cautiously lifted his arm, wiping away his tears. Yeonjun gratefully leaned into his touch, smiling sadly at the gesture.
 
"I want to be here for you," Yeonjun said softly.
 
"I'm not going anywhere. I understand that you have to be an adult. Even these tears show me how much you love me," Soobin assured.
 
Yeonjun grabbed onto his hand, bringing it to his lips. "Always."
 
The pair jumped at the sound of their doorbell ringing. They shared a look, both not expecting anyone this early in the day. Yeonjun slipped out of bed, tilting his head when the knocking started. Until the telltale sign of who was at the door made it obvious.
 
"Soobin-ah!"
 
Yeonjun snickered at the faint sound of Beomgyu at their door. He confidently strode to open it for him. Soobin groaned, realizing his caretaker would fall to Beomgyu. He stubbornly chewed at his toast, hoping a full mouth would block him from speaking to his partner's even bubblier best friend.
 
"Soobin-ah!" The clearer voice called.
 
Beomgyu rushed into their room, sparkly expression filling the room with brightness. Soobin stared blankly at the smaller man. Beomgyu seemed to ignore the look, excitedly plopping down next to Soobin's legs.
 
"Don't worry, Soobin. I'm here to take care of you!" Beomgyu chirped.
 
"Joy."
 
"What are you doing here?" Yeonjun asked.
 
"Oh, boss called me! I have a class meeting in the afternoon, so I couldn't take your hours. But! I messaged them and I can join in virtually," Beomgyu explained.
 
Beomgyu faced Soobin again. "You'll probably be asleep, so you won't even notice. I'm just here to make sure you don't choke on your vomit."
 
Soobin grimaced at the shameless statement. "TMI."
 
Yeonjun wrapped himself around Beomgyu, rubbing his face into his fluffy hair. "You're the best."
 
"I know," Beomgyu giggled.
 
Soobin smiled endearingly at the sight of Yeonjun's improved mood. Beomgyu could be a nuisance, but he was thankful that Yeonjun found such a great friend. Even if that friend conspired devilish plans with his Junnie that left Soobin exhausted.
 
Yeonjun glanced at the digital clock. "Oh, I should get going."
 
Yeonjun frowned in Soobin's direction. He untangled from Beomgyu, walking over to place a kiss on Soobin's forehead. He lovingly brushed his bangs from his eyes.
 
"I'll be back later. We can have porridge together, okay?" Yeonjun offered.
 
Soobin nodded. "Return safely."
 
Yeonjun pressed a longer kiss to his warm skin before stepping away. Soobin waved as Yeonjun reluctantly left. Beomgyu looked back at Soobin, meeting the older's eyes. Soobin waited for him to speak.
 
"Do you need anything before you knock out?" Beomgyu mentioned in a calmer tone.
 
Soobin shook his head. "No. Just go chill."
 
Beomgyu leaned in, resting a hand on Soobin's thigh. "Do I have to help in the bathroom?"
 
Soobin threw his half-eaten toast, which Beomgyu dodged.
 
"I'm sick, not handicapped. Go sit out in the living room before I puke on you on purpose," Soobin threatened.
 
Beomgyu giggled. "I'll be in the kitchen eating breakfast. Call if you need anything."
 
He patted the top of Soobin's thigh and closed the door behind him. Soobin sighed, already feeling the weird affection he has for Beomgyu and his shenanigans growing. As loud and enthusiastic he is, he was a good friend. Soobin took a few more bites of toast, carefully putting the plate on the table to grab the dose of medicine. He held in his gagging at the artificial liquid, gulping down water behind it. Soobin's stomach fought the abuse. He slowly settled back into the pillows, trying to sleep off the sickness.
 
Orange rays lit the bedroom the next Soobin opened his eyes. The dizziness from a long sleep made his head spin as he sat up. He felt nature calling him, wincing as he put pressure on his lower region. He grabbed the thin blanket off the end of their bed, wrapping himself in it. Quietly exiting the room, he waddled into the bathroom. He could faintly hear Beomgyu talking above the low volume of the TV. After doing his business and washing his face with cool water, he padded toward the living room.
 
"He's asleep."
 
Soobin's ears perked up as he heard Beomgyu. His fluffy head was facing the TV, not aware that Soobin was moving down the hall. Soobin slowed his steps, lingering to overhear more.
 
"I promise that I checked on him. He's fine, Noona," Beomgyu continued.
 
Beomgyu paused, listening to Yeonjun.
 
"No, he's not sweating that much."
 
Another pause.
 
"Noona, he'll still be here when you get home."
 
Beomgyu's eyes shifted as Soobin came into his eyesight. He smirked, still listening to Yeonjun worry over the phone.
 
"Noona, focus on getting home."
 
Soobin sat on the other side of the couch, trying not to make much noise to interrupt their call.
 
"No, I'll leave when you get here. I'm working later on. I'll grab dinner with you another day."
 
Beomgyu nodded. "See you soon, Noona. Travel safely."
 
Beomgyu disconnected the call, looking over at Soobin. "He's called me 4 times while you were asleep."
 
Soobin groaned. "Junnie is really worried."
 
Beomgyu hummed. "I've never seen him like this."
 
"What do you mean?" Soobin questioned.
 
Beomgyu smiled fondly at his phone before stuffing it into his pocket. He leaned his head against his fist, leering smugly.
 
"He's not one to panic," Beomgyu explained. "Especially, not this much."
 
Soobin furrowed his brow. "He's nervous about a lot."
 
Beomgyu nodded. "About you."
 
"He's never showed how self-conscious he is about anything to anyone but me."
 
Beomgyu pulled his legs onto the couch, fully facing Soobin. "But this tall and dorky college student rolls in and he suddenly wants to be himself."
 
The two stared each other down. Soobin trying to grasp what Beomgyu told him.
 
"And what? Is that an issue?" Soobin interrogated.
 
Beomgyu smiled. "No. It's just what he needed."
 
"Then why say it like that?" Soobin prompted.
 
He shrugged. "It's nothing but the truth."
 
The sound of whatever was on the screen drowned out the silence like white noise. The pair faced each other, one with uncertainty, one with content. Soobin played with the blanket.
 
"What was he like? Before," he asked.
 
Beomgyu huffed loudly, breaking their eye contact to look at the ceiling. "A mess."
 
Soobin sputtered with amusement. "He still is."
 
Beomgyu shook his head. "No, no. He's in a way better place now. Before..."
 
He paused, directing his attention to his fidgeting hands in his lap.
 
"Before, I wasn't sure if I'd have him tomorrow."
 
Soobin's entire body froze at the sentence. His gaze was full of concern, watching the top of Beomgyu's head as he confessed.
 
"You know, it's very exhausting to pretend you're 'the man' when you don't know if you are one," Beomgyu continued.
 
"He's...incredible," Soobin supplied.
 
Beomgyu shifted his eyes back to Soobin. "He'd argue that you are."
 
Beomgyu laughed into his hands. "Ahhhh, when you first met. I thought he hated you."
 
Soobin frowned behind the mask. "Me?"
 
"'That Soobin guy thinks he's soooo amazing because he's handsome and soft', 'Ugh, look at him. Does he think anyone believes he's actually studying in a coffee shop?'. Blah, blah, blah," Beomgyu parroted.
 
Soobin blushed. He knew Yeonjun was jealous of him at that time, but he never heard the comments he'd say. If he had at the time, he too would think he disliked him. Soobin began to vaguely remember the sickly sweet way Yeonjun treated him when he visited. The blush deepened as he thought of how much he liked that sweetness, unknowingly.
 
"I think it was when he forgot his contacts that one day, he stopped fuming," Beomgyu mused.
 
Soobin leaned his head against the back of the couch, smiling softly. Thinking back to the day he visited for the 4th time that week to see the black-haired barista. The winter chill chased behind him as he entered the shop. His back was to him, but Soobin could tell he was the barista named Yeonjun. Soobin had to hold himself together when he turned to face him. The thin-framed glasses framed his usually small eyes, magnifying them as he stared up at Soobin.
 
He couldn't believe that there was more to an already angelic man. Soobin came down to earth when Yeonjun called for him, eyebrow raised with amused confusion. He ordered his usual, something Yeonjun had memorized. He knew he had stuttered through it. When Yeonjun placed his order in front of him, his usually suppressed confidence had burst.
 
Pretty. That was the first time he had ever called him pretty. He was, Soobin thought that was the only way to describe him at that moment. The words that were desperate to spill out settled between them. Soobin nervously took his coffee and thanked him, rushing to grab a seat in the corner to avoid looking at him in embarrassment. He had missed the pink that grew on Yeonjun's face, buzzing from the confusing relief of being called pretty.
 
"I remember that day..." Soobin acknowledged.
 
Beomgyu watched the lovesick daze in his eyes. "Ever since then, he wondered how to talk to you more. He still wasn't sure about himself, but when we hung out, he had happier things to tell me."
 
Soobin stared at him. "Are you...still scared?"
 
Beomgyu didn't move to answer. He knew what Soobin meant, the fear he's felt for 5 years of his life. He moved his gaze to the screen, unable to look at Soobin when he'd answer.
 
"Yeah. But now it's not just him I have to worry about."
 
Soobin tore his eyes away at the sound of keys. Beomgyu took in a deep breath, not noticing the anxiety that robbed him of air. He displayed his usual bubbly grin as Yeonjun quietly walked into the living room. The seriousness of their conversation lingered between them. Soobin waited for Yeonjun to notice him, eyes sadly looking.
 
"Oh, Soobinnie..." Yeonjun said.
 
He directed his face to Beomgyu. "I thought you said he was asleep."
 
Beomgyu shrugged. "He woke up."
 
Yeonjun rolled his eyes at the nonchalant response. Soobin took his arms from the warmth of the blanket, reaching out for Yeonjun. He walked around Beomgyu, letting Soobin wrap around his midsection. He buried his face into Yeonjun's stomach.
 
"Hi, babe," Yeonjun greeted, petting his head.
 
Though it felt like 20 minutes to him, the overwhelming emotions of Yeonjun's comforting hug and his conversation with Beomgyu swelled in his throat. He tightened his hold, pressing himself further into Yeonjun, the inability to speak growing. Tears flowed as the appreciation and affection he felt for Yeonjun overtook him.
 
Yeonjun scratched behind his ear. "Soobin, is everything okay? Are you feeling better?"
 
Soobin gathered himself, nodding against his shirt. "I'm better now that you're here."
 
Yeonjun looked back at Beomgyu. But Beomgyu was quick to avoid any questions.
 
"Well, that's my cue to leave. Dinner on Friday? Cool. Get well, Soobin-ah."
 
Yeonjun looked on speechless as his best friend high tailed it out of their home. He turned back to Soobin, the bigger man resting his chin on his waist, looking up patiently. Round eyes reddened and puffy. Yeonjun put down the bag he was holding so he could hold Soobin with both hands.
 
"I missed you," Yeonjun whispered.
 
Soobin rubbed his back. "I missed you too."
 
Soobin's eyes drifted closed as Yeonjun's nails ran across his nape in calming swipes.
 
Yeonjun softly chuckled. "Let me go shower and we can sit out here and eat, okay?"
 
Soobin nodded. His eyes opened as he felt Yeonjun disengage from his hold. As he observed Yeonjun shedding his shirt while walking toward the bathroom, he felt only one thing chanting in his heart.
 
I love you.