She finally came out, acting as if she wasn't crying and that everything was perfectly normal, she was perfectly fine, hadn't been crying. We both know that's not true. She sat down with me and we both sat in awkward silence until I suggested we watch a movie like last time. Way to go, me, always know how to get out of that kind of situation. She seemed startled at my voice but practically lunged at the dvd player, grabbing the first dvd case that her hand touched and putting it in. After the movie started, we settled back down on either side of the couch and pretended to watch the movie. She's lost in thought, the rim of her glasses had slid down enough to show me the scales around her eyes where tinted red and puffy, damp. She seemed to be focusing on the tv screen till she caught me staring, meeting my faze for a split second before glancing away, pushing her glasses back into place so the lenses would catch the screen's reflection and hide her eyes. I looked away and mentally screamed at my stupidity. After some more awkward time passed, I started writing in my journal, well in here technically, while she continued to "watch". She'll glance at me occasionally, even now, she just did it, but not long enough for me to catch her eye. Probably for the best. I'm writing this at an angle where she can't read this. Now I can confess everything to her. In here. Where she can't see it. I love her. My soul keeps lighting but I have it hidden behind this notebook. The lights are off, but the screen is right enough to cover up at least some of my soul's light. Luckily it's still in my chest, behind my hoodie, so that covers it up, too. If I'm not paying attention, it might appear and try to float to her, or even summon her soul. If her's appeared, she's doing a great job at hiding it. I hope my skull isn't glowing too much with this stupid blush. At least her cheeks are flushed red, too. Matches her hair. She's really pretty, and nice, and smart, and nerdy, and geeky. All the things I would want in a soulmate..