"I cant Sherlock i've got a date!" i flinched at his raised tone, and i tried not to be affected by his words.

And i hate

"Please John, just one more run, and then your home free," I put on a fake smile, trying to sound earnest.

To say

"No Sherlock, this girl is important to me!" My breath hitched, as he began to throw on his jacket.

I love you

"But John," i whimpered as my blogger began to pull on his shoes.

When its so

"Arent i important too?" He paused and looked over to me.

Hard for me.

"Sherlock," John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Solving crimes is one thing, being in love is another," I froze. My heart shattered at his words.

And i hate

He was wrong.

To say

"John, that.. that doesnt answer my question," Usually i wouldnt be so affected by John and his dates, but tonight was a big case, and i knew i was going to need him.

i

I always need him.

want you

"Didnt you hear me?" he asked, looking at me incrediously.

When you make it so clear

"I said im in love,"

You dont want

So am i.

me

He huffed, and stomped down the stairs. I forced down the lump in my throat and ran after him.

Id never ask you

"John please! I really need your help!" "No! For the last time, now stop asking!"

Cus deep down

"John please..." i breathed, stopping at the top of the stairs.

Im certain

"Dont go," i felt a tear slip my eye, and he stopped right at the doorway.

I'd know what

"Sherlock," He turned around and looked at me.

You'd say

"Dont you have anyone else?" John said through gritted teeth.

You'd say

My heart shattered, and i looked at him with wide eyes.

Im sorry

"John dont go on that date. Please," i begged and he looked at me with wide eyes.

Believe me

"You're... my only friend," For some odd reason, my voice cracked. I never felt so vulnerable.

I love you

"Sherlock.... im sorry, but this woman," John trailed off, and I looked at him.

But not in that way

"I love her. I think... I think I want to-"

And I hate

"No," I swallowed and shook my head.

To say I need you

"Please dont... dont say it," I looked away.

Im so

"Sherlock.. no? What do you mean? Whats wrong with you? Jesus, its just a date cant you last the night?!"

Reliant

I shook my head and ran down the steps to John.

Im so

I couldn't let John continue this relationship. If he did that would mean no more solving crimes. No more flatmates. No more bakerstreet. No more anything. Just emptiness.

Dependant

I was empty without my John.

Im such a fool

"John I cant let you go because," I found myself lost for words. It began to rain outside, tiny droplets falling on Johns jacket.

When you're

"Because?" He waited for my answer, and I swallowed.

Not there

"Because... I love you," my voice faltered, and he looked at me with wide eyes.

I find myself

"And I cant stand or think about life without you,"

Singing the blues

"And im empty when you're not home, and god John im so hopelessly, unconditionally, madly in love with you,"

Cant bear

"And I know that you will.... you will..." I felt a lump form in my throat, and I choked back a sob.

Cant face

"Im ruining everything right now. I know I am. Im such a failure," I sobbed, as John stood there, motionless. The rain became harder.

The truth

"Im sorry," I whispered.

You will never

"For the pain I cause you. I just... you are the only thing in the universe that caught my eye. The only interesting thing on this planet. Something to think about. This man. The man who..."

Know that feeling

"I am so desperately in love with, who I know... I know will never love me back. Ever, and..."

You will never

"God im such an idiot...." I scolded myself. I looked up at him and he looked away from me, completely ignoring my gaze.

See through these

"You are... John Watson, the man who made me feel human again,"

Eyes.

"Sherlock..." John whispered, eyes wide. He took a step forward, and closed the door to drown out the thundering rain.

I'd never

My heart began to pound as John walked closer to me.

Ask you

He stood in front of me and took in a deep breath.

Cus deep down

"Sherlock," His voice was steady, and suddenly I felt hope spring into my heart like a lightening bolt.

Im certain

"I..." John took a deep breath and looked away nervously.

I'd know what you'd say

"I think...."

You'd say

He sighed and looked me right in the eyes.

Im sorry

"Im sorry,"

Believe me

A tear slipped my eye and I put on a fake smile.

I love you

"I'll... have my things packed by the morning," he nodded.

But not in that way

I felt like I had been shot. The bolt of electricity stopped flowing through my body, and suddenly the world stopped.

You'd say

"John," I whispered. The tears were coming now. The heartbreak.

Im

"Sherlock," He put on his warning voice, and I clamped my mouth shut, ignoring the searing pain I felt in my heart.

Sorry

I wanted to die. John was... leaving. Forever.

Believe

And it was all my fault.

Me

He walked up the stairs, and I looked at the spot he once stood.

I Love

I stumbled a bit to the wall, and closed my eyes, letting the silence blanket me.

You

I sunk down the wall, and suddenly uncontrollable sobs broke through the blanket, and began to rack around the small stair well.

But not In the way.

.... what have I done....