Fic inspired by drawing above. I dont own the work, if anyones knows the artist, i will gladly give credit.

(Angst, w/ happy ending)

Get ready for some real trash!John bc hes a piece of shit.

"Sherlock, get out," John huffed.

I stared at him, and glanced towards the girl behind him, who stood glaring daggers at me.

Bitch.

"John," I spoke, and he shook his head, before stepping close and whispering in my ear, as for the girl not to hear.

"Sherlock please. Just for the night-go find a case. I need the flat just for one night. Thats all," He spoke, and i flinched away, knuckles clenching.

"Fine," I flared, and he smiled relievingly at me. "Thanks. See you later," He nodded, and I nodded back.

I began to step out, before glaring at the girl again, and then left.

-

It was a cold night. Too cold in fact. I left 221B, and out into the snowy night, and then glanced up at the window.

Yellow light poured out, silohetted by the two figures holding hands and gazing loveingly at one another.

I stopped, and watched for several minutes as John laughed at something the girl said, and then stepped closer.

I turned away, and moved forward, pulling my coat close.

I didnt really realise when i had fallen in love with him. Im not sure if it happened slowly or all at once. It had been like rain falling, but i hadnt really noticed the drops until i was soaking wet.. or maybe it was more like seeing a thunderstorm above, and pretending the sky was still blue...

Or something like that.

But, if this was love, i do not want it.

Breaking. Breaking was all this felt like. I was falling so hard, and I could already feel the pavement scratch and keen my skin to blood, but i was still falling anyways. I dont think im ever going to hit the ground.

I was breaking, heart tearing at my chest. I felt like there were screams inside of me, in a cage that was clawing, scratching at me from the inside out, pulling apart my throat.

I felt like thin glass breaking, I felt like there was thick water enveloping me, i felt washed away, i felt torn and thrown.

This is not what i want. This is not what i want. Oh god, please this isnt what i want.

I walked for several hours, body turning numb, the frost biting my skin, letting it tear at me until my lips turned blue, and all i could feel was the shattered breath leaving my swollen lips.

I walked anyway.

I walked because the freezing pain i was feeling, the cold ache that stabbed my every movement, was much better than the screaming inside my head.

I sat down at a cold wet bench, and looked up at the cloudy sky, and closed my eyes, letting out a cold breath, and my body began to shake.

Hypothermia.

And i began to quiver, letting out held in tears.

Every shaky breath i took sounded like ripped pages in the silent cold night, as more warm wet tears streaked down my numb face, and i began to pull off my coat.

And then my shoes.

I felt hot suddenly. Very, very hot.

Buzzing.

Taking off the socks.

More buzzing.

Unbotton my shirt.

Thousands of buzzing noises. So much buzzing.

The new founded cold pierced my skin, and carved its way to my soul.

So much buzzing.

"Sherlock!"

I lazily lifted my head, and saw a figure running towards me in a distance.

I stared at them, and then began to get an overwhelming feeling to fall asleep...

Forever.

I closed my eyes, and slowly began tilo situate myself on the bench, when the figure finally made its way to me.

"Ohmygodsherlock,"

"Jhn...no,"

"Sherlock, you're dying. Sit up, let me get your clothes,"

"wht..."

I fell asleep.

-

The darkness was comforting. It held nothing. I didnt feel anything.

I was just there.

The darkness hugged me softly. Then tighter.

Panic.

The darkness was no longer comforting.

It held my throat tightly.

I choked.

-

"Sherlock. Sherlock look at me. oh god, please Sherlock look at me. You cant do this-not again,"

Voice. Soft. Kind.

"Please. Im sorry im sorry im sorry i didnt fucking know, im so sorry oh god im so selfish Sherlock please wake up,"

Hand. Water. Hot.

Really hot water.

I groaned, and suddenly i heard a sharp intake, as the hand squeezed mine tighter.

There was boiling water around me. Hot warm water surrounding me, and i slowly pushed my eyes open.

"Sherlock?"

I looked up at him through blurry eyes.

"Fuck-Sherlock,"

Suddenly, there was a whiff of Johns scent, as he put his forehead on my shoulder, and he pulled my hand close to his chest.

"Oh god im sorry im sorry im sorry,"

He rattled on and on, and it was starting to hurt my head.

"John," I mumbled, and he pulled his head up.

"What?"

"I..."

Love you.

"Hate you. So much. Please shut up-please," I said softly.

He blinked at me, and i saw his mouth trying to work.

"Oh," He spoke softly, looking away. Suddenly i felt sorry for him. Maybe i shouldnt have said that?

"Alright... okay," He said, letting my hand go. I stared at him as he got up, and suddenly i bubbled out "Wait.. stay,"

He stared at me, before coming to sit down.

He took my hand again, and i closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of the bathtub as my body began to catch up with my mind.

"I absolutely hate you, John Watson," i sad softly, and i felt his hand tense.

"I know. You.. you have every right to. I had no idea it would be so cold-i thought you would just go to the yard. But you werent answering your phone, so i went to go find you and, Sherlock im so sorry, plesse forgive me i really am-"

"For god sakes John, i dont hate you for that..." I said, and he looked at me, taken aback.

"Well, i dont hate you for it, but it wasnt fun. I almost did in fact die," I said, and John flinched.

"But.. i hate you because... i..."

Silence. John stared at me, waiting for my answer, and my eyes flicked to his lips for a second.

"I..." My voice got a bit softer, and i saw John lick his lips.

"I l-" "love you,"

I froze.

"Wh-""What?"

I blinked at John.

"Did you just-" "Yes," He breathed, his eyes widening.

"I just told you that-" "I love you," I interrupted.

We stared at eachother, before John suddenly launched forward, clashing his lips with mine.

It was soft, and my mind was at sudden ease, but it wasnt because i could hear explosions of lights and i felt the padding of pavement beneath my feet as if i were running. I felt like i had finally stopped falling, but instead of feeling the pavement eatching its way into my skin, i felt the wind take me.

I was flying.

I was flying with John Watson, and he bloody loves it.

I felt his hand fall onto my shoulder, and i raised my arms to his neck to pull him into a deeper kiss.

I needed to taste him. All of him.

He suddenly gasped, and his other hand slipped, and he fell into the tub.

Of course it ruined the moment.

But that was okay.

We laughed, and i smiled, splashing water at him, before he sunk down on me and kissed me into the water.

And it was okay.

I didnt feel like glass anymore.

I felt John, and John only.

Omg John u piece of shit u r literal trash how dare u leave sherlock to go out and get hypothermia omg u r seriously the worst human being on the planet u fucking asshole ugh i love u, god damnit u garbage can.

Sorry, had to let that out. Hope you guys enjoyed!
(I dont do 1st person pov, but it was fun. Tell me if u guys want more of that or not c: ).