2 years later...

Harieth

"The night was cold and... it rained heavily. I remember feeling lost and... scared. I ran... as fast as I could because she told me to do so. She..." I gulped down hard to control the tears as I lowered my eyes to my hands on my lap, folded together.

"... I... I couldn't do so till the end... she lost her life protecting me." The tears rolled down my cheeks and I wiped it off as I raised my eyes up to behold a slightly blurry vision of a woman seated in front of me.

"Here." She stated as she offered me a box of tissue. I took out a few and wiped my face properly, sniffing as well. I hated recollecting this part of my past. It always brings back haunted memories and reminds me of the consequences for my actions.

"This is good. This is good progress Harieth. You're starting to open up about what happened that night and accepting the fact that it had somehow traumatized you." She added and I looked anywhere else but onto her face.

I was soaked in guilt. Guilt that I believe will never go away because I don't deserve it but the doctor in front of me has spent the last few months trying to change that believe, trying to make me feel better. I know I don't deserve to feel better... not after what I've done.

"I look forward to our next session." She addressed with a warm smile and handshake. I nodded in accordance and without taking one last look back, I walked out of her office and straight to my car.

Once seated in the car, I let out a deep breath. I want to get better but at the same time, a voice in my head tells me that I deserve everything that's happening to me. I can't seem to shake it off. Perhaps, deep down, I believe that voice.

I stopped by a flower shop and the owner, a brown skinned woman, probably in her mid-thirties, flashed me a warm smile as soon as she took notice of my presence.

"Good morning Harieth."

"Morning."

"The usual?" She questioned and I nodded in accordance. I watched her set out a bouquet of daisies.

"I made sure to pick out the fresh ones, just as you like it and like always... I hope your today will be different." She expressed as she handed me the bouquet. I tried my best to return her smile with one of mine but I'm unable to completely do that. It has been a while since I smiled.

"Thank you Anna." I appreciated before I was well on my way.

Once I turned off the car's engine, I sat still for a moment before shifting my eyes to the side view mirror, starring at my reflection for quite a while. Somehow, I'm unable to recognize myself. The person in the mirror seemed like a shadow of my former self.

Regardless, I drew in a deep breath as I shifted my eyes away from the mirror.

"Today is the day." I told myself, making sure the familiar sentence resounds in my ears and registers in both my heart and head, refusing the thought of doubt. Without wasting a second more, I picked up the bouquet of flowers from the seat and made my way out of the car.

I walked right through the entrance into the building of which a bold writing Steve Carson's General hospital hung up top.

I made my way into the elevator heading for the 6th floor.

"Good morning Mrs. Hendrix." The nurse behind the counter greeted with a warm smile as I walked past her.

"Morning." I replied with a subtle smile and continued on my tracks down the end of the hall, paying not much attention to several other patients and visitors that made their way around me.

I drew in a deep breath as I stood in front of a white door, the number 305 written on it. Not sparing a second more, I took hold of the knob and pushed open the door. I walked straight to the couch and took off my coat. I left both the purse and coat on the couch before heading to the side table.

I exchanged the slightly withered flowers with the fresh ones I got. While doing that, I shifted my eyes to the patient that laid still on the bed, eyes shut, oxygen pipes up into his nostrils and the support machine beeping at intervals. I attempted a smile but I'm unable to broaden it.

"Good morning." I greeted as I drew closer to him, having a seat on the bed beside him. I stared at his sleeping face for a while before taking hold of his hand in mine.

"Dr. Susan says I'm getting better so..." I drew in a deep breath, dragging my eyes up to his face.

"... you need to wake up." I added, a part of me, hoping and praying he suddenly wakes up but after what seemed like forever of staring and getting no reaction from him, I felt the tears whirl up in my eyes and although I fought hard to refrain them from clouding any further in my eyes, I'm unable to properly do that as hurtful memories overwhelm my thoughts once more.

In the end, I lowered my eyes as the tears rolled down my cheeks. The memory of that faithful day felt so fresh in my head and each second of that moment has haunted me.

After the accident, I had woken up two days later at this very hospital. Luckily, I didn't have much of internal damages, more of broken bones and a slight swell here and there. I remember asking for Christian right away but I was told to rest first. Regardless of how adamant I was, I was injected with something that sent me right back to sleep.

The next time I was conscious, I remember sitting up and waiting for Emerson to just tell me what was going on. She had facially expressed how difficult whatever she had to say was being on her. That alone triggered my panic button. All I wanted to hear was that he was alive and doing fine. I didn't think I could ever live with the guilt of being the reason he's dead.

Eventually, Emerson opened her mouth and the words rolled out. I remember zoning out, the only sentence I picked up was... "He suffered a serious hit to the head and right now... the doctors can't predict when he'll wake up."

I froze for a while, unable to process her information. "Are... are you saying he could... he could stay in coma... forever?"

The question had felt heavy but nothing tore me more than to hear the word possibly roll out of her mouth. I cried and cried even more when I first saw him in this state.

Ever since, I couldn't stop blaming myself for his condition. Christian didn't deserve this. If only I hadn't insisted on driving that night. If only...

I bowed my head and sobbed some more.

For the past two years and some months, I come here, I spend the entire day by his side, taking care of him, waiting and hoping that this day might just be the day he wakes up but... he never does and the worst part is the feeling... the voice in my head that tells me that I might never hear his voice again.

A stared at my reflection in the mirror after rinsing my face. My eyes were red and my complexion seemed paler than ever. Sincerely, I don't know how much longer I can hang in there. I'm exhausted but I know I can give never give up... not as long as he breathes.

I dried my face with a towel before making my way out of the bathroom. I took my seat on a chair beside his bed, my eyes rested on his face and in that moment, my wait started. Most times, I chatted like he was actually listening and I mentioned activities we could do together, urging him to wake up.

I walked around at intervals, standing by the window and describing to him all I see. I looked his side, no reply nor reaction. I gulped down the urge to cry again and returned my gaze to the sight outside the window.

I rarely eat. I barely sleep. I just wait and watch.

"I'm sorry." I apologized for probably the one thousandth time. I ran a hand through my hair.

"Please wake up and tell me you forgive me... please." I pleaded but yet, there was no change.

Time moved but at a very slow pace. I wished more than anything that I was the one lying there instead of him. I deserve to. He didn't deserve to.

"Harieth, hey..." The familiar voice alongside a light shake, woke me up and as I leaned away from the bed, it dawned on me that I'd somehow fallen asleep.

I pushed my hair behind my ear as I followed the hand up to the face of its owner.

Emerson.

I rubbed my eyes to rid any kind of drowsiness.

"It's okay, go home and get some rest. I'll take over from here." She offered in a warm voice but with a light shake of my head, I declined her offer.

"I'm fine. I'll stay." I told her as I shifted my eyes up to Christian's face. I heard light sigh elude her lips, probably tired of trying to get through to me, playing this scene more than either of us would like to admit.

"Go home." His sudden voice distracted my thoughts. Unable to behold his face due to guilt, I looked elsewhere instead.

"I'm fine..."

"I don't care about that."

"Lucas." Emerson called in a reprimanding tone. I gulped down hard, trying to bear it all.

A strange moment of silence passed without either of saying anything.

"We talked about something... keep to it." His voice echoed in my head and in that moment, I shut my eyes to take it all in as a flood of memory came rushing back.

Once I opened my eyes, I stood to my feet, took hold of my handbag and coat. I stared at Christian one last time and within my heart, I said please wake up. I placed a kiss on his forehead before I was on my way out.

"Harieth." Emerson called as I was half way to the door, I ignored her call and continued.

"Harieth wait." She finally took hold of my arm, forcing me to stop.

For a second, neither of us said a word even as she stood in front of me.

"I know this... making you leave against your will might seem unfair but... I just want you know that, I care about you and I just want you to rest, know that you're not alone in this... I'm here to help." She expressed in that saintly voice of hers and the harder I stared at her, the more I realize... I can never be like her.

"Maybe you are... but your husband..." I finally looked his side, our eyes met and the darkness that entailed in them... forced a tremble within me. Without doing or saying anything further, I walked past her and out of the room.

Seated on one of the seats in the waiting room, I wiped the tears off my cheeks, at the same time vexed with myself for being unable to stop crying. Recalling what just happened, I knew I'd lost myself. Perhaps, I shouldn't have accepted to his deal. Regardless, I'm here because I did. I can see and take of Christian because of that.

2 years ago...

It's been more than two months since I found out about Christian's state. My injuries were healing but Christian wasn't showing any sign of waking up.

With a damp towel, I wiped his arm gently, as if a little carelessness would break him. I could barely control my emotions. I was a wreak and the only thought keeping me going was the fact that someday, he was going to wake up. He wouldn't want to find out that the old me was gone so I needed to stay strong.

The door opened and instantly, I looked up to behold Lucas. His appearance seemed calm but something about his eyes had turned dark.

"We need to talk." He stated and I looked away from him to Christian.

"I'm busy. We can do that la..."

"Did you know about your father's scheme all this time?" He interrupted and I froze at whatever I was doing?

Father's scheme.

The words repeated in my head.

Suddenly, a light scoff left his lips.

"I see you do." His words came out rather calm and low. I remained the same, unaware of what to do in this situation. He mentioned dad's scheme and that could only mean that everything's been found out.

"Damn it!" He exclaimed in anger as he slammed his hand onto the wall, a flinched a bit in fear.

"I can't believe I let Christian marry you. I can't believe we fell victim to your family's lies." He added rather bitterly and the only part of his sentence that got to me was the part where he mentioned my marriage to Christian.

He took steps closer.

"Mark my words Harieth, you and your father are going to pay for what you did... you're going to pay for making Christian this way."

"Please." I took hold of his arm, stopping him from walking away. The tears had gathered and began streaming down my cheeks as I pleaded.

"Please don't send me away... at least not yet... wait, wait a little bit longer till Christian wakes up. I want to be by his side till that happens... please." I pleaded in tears like never before. At the moment, I didn't care about what the old me would say to the present me, all I knew was that I love Christian and I wasn't about to leave him in such a state.

He stared down at me, long and hard, his inner thoughts unmasking. It worried me but I did my best to stay optimistic. In the end, he withdrew his arm away from my hold and walked away without saying a word to me.

I sobbed some more, concluding that it was all over and yet, hoping that it actually wasn't.

Later, I picked up on the fact that he accepted my proposal by excluding my name from the entire ordeal with dad. Dad was taken to court and after a good battle, he was declared guilty and sentenced to prison. That was the last time I saw him... in court.

Back to present...

I rubbed my hands a bit nervously as I waited for him to show up. The door opened and he walked in, having his seat behind the glass and the guard stepped back.

Now staring at him, I realized he'd grown leaner and his appearance, a bit unkempt. He wasn't the same man I remembered. Guilt pinched at me.

I stretched out my hand and picked up the phone receiver. I waited for him to do the same but he just gave me a strange stare. Suddenly, he leaned closer and picked up the receiver on his side of the glass. Silently, I drew in a deep breath, wondering where to start from. It has been over two years since we spoke and I know he's mad at me for everything.

Somehow, I'd managed to gather the strength and will to come here.

"Hi dad." I started, my own voice sounding a bit strange in my ear. No reply came through his part; I knew I had to keep going.

"I... I should have been here sooner... you look lean. Are you not eating properly? Perhaps, I should have gotten you something. I was just worried that they might not let you have it..."

"What are you doing here Harieth?" His voice was cold and strange, a little unfamiliar.

"Dad..."

"Two years... in more than two years, I never saw your face and now... here you are, pretending like we're okay. Why? Did your lifeless husband finally give up and you realized that the possibility of your happily ever after was just a useless dream after all?"

I gulped down to control the anger that was threatening to surface.

"Dad..."

"All you had to do was make him sign those papers and all this could've been avoided but you didn't."

"I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't able to make you happy and I'm sincerely sorry about that..."

"Why didn't you just die?" He interrupted, the look in his eyes, cold and daring.

"W-what?"

"Think about it... you were supposed to die that night but your mother died in your stead and now... you drove but Christian ended up that way instead of you... Don't you think the universe is trying to tell you something?"

He stared into my eyes and somehow, I'd frozen on my seat, his every word, sinking into my head.

"Die and free us all of your existence." With that, he returned the receiver to it place and stood to his feet.

I watched him walk away whilst I remained frozen. My heartbeat accelerated and all I could hear was his voice over and over again in my head. Even as I drove home, his words couldn't stop playing in my head. Why? Perhaps, a part of me accepted those words. The fact that everything from day one has been my fault.

A late evening, I stood at the edge, the cold breeze slapping my face, my hair flying with the wind and attempting to obstruct my vision. My heart raced so fast and it felt like I could barely catch my breath. The view of the city ahead of me was beautiful but nobody in it wanted me.

Dad's words echoed in my head once more and I drew in a deep breath.

"That's right Harieth... I can... I can do this." I assured myself after careful consideration, accepting that this was the best.

When Christian eventually wakes, he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore and in the nearest future, his life will never ever be in danger again because of me.

I gulped down, refusing to take a good look at how far down goes. I shut my eyes and took in my last deep breath. Just about to lift my right leg, the phone in my hand rang. I looked down at it, I'd forgotten I was holding it.

One look at the caller ID, Emerson.

I looked away from it. My mind fell conflicted as to whether to answer the call or not. In the end, I picked.

"Hello." I spoke up and waited for her to speak up.

"What... What happened to Christian?" I demanded as panic slowly crept in.

Within a few seconds, my eyes widened as I slowly dragged the phone away from my ear. My thought swirled around.

With one step forward, I jumped down.

Hi guys! I'm soooooo sorry for the long delay in updating this chapter. I was presented with a proposal and was occupied with it.