So, funny how even if you died today and now, nothing could stop moving the way it used to. Your family would grieve, surely, but no one could end his or her life because of you. She had thought that the day she would loose her Twin will be the ay she would be taken to her grave too, but here she was, after three days of his demise, still alive. She knew there was a thin, invisible line between life and death, which only few people acknowledged, she was on this thin line.

She wasn't dead because she was still breathing and her heart beat, unlike that of Hassan that had stopped moving forever. If she remembered her after life knowledge well, in his grave, three days are enough for him to have his nails come off, his stomach ruptured and his hair too. Well, she wouldn't go deeper into that, she might as well go crazy if she did.

She had been in her room for those three days and whoever wanted to say his condolences to her, came there himself. They all didn't stay long in her room, and she enjoyed that they gave her the privacy she needed. But she sometimes had to lock the door and everyone will assume she was sleeping, meanwhile, she was only crying while hugging his favorite things. It was an ache she didn't know when she would heal from.

There was a soft knock on the door, she wanted to ignore it like she had for the whole day and it was already night now, but hearing Sohila's crying voice made her trudged to the door. "Aunt Nadia, will you please open the door? I've been here for the tenth time today. Please tell me you aren't hurting yourself." Nadia pushed her tears back, she knew Sohila will be devastated but seeing her, she sometimes felt that she was far more devastated than she had ever imagined.

She opened the door and met her with a tray. They always brought food for her, sometimes her mother had to force her to eat something, just a few spoons of food. But today, it was because of the food that she had locked her door. Didn't they realize that she had no appetite or even the will to live?

She tried to close the door, "I've told you since morning, Sohila, I don't have the appetite to eat anything today. Please tell anyone that's looking for me that I'm asleep. Please?" Her tears pooled her eyes and no matter how Sohila wanted to argue with her about it, she couldn't. Nadia knew they were all trying to make her eat something because of her baby, but she just couldn't.

"Okay, do you want me to sleep with you tonight? It's not safe sleeping alone, Aunt Nadia." Almost everyone in the house had begged her to have someone to sleep together with, but she didn't want to. She wanted just her presence in her room. And the only additional presence she was used to in the room was that of Hassan and he was no more now.

Nadia softly fondled her head, "I'd be fine, Sohila, okay?" Both their tears rolled down their cheeks. Wasn't it sad how they both were in immense pain but still trying to look out for her? Was it because everyone knew Hassan loved her and they wanted to take care of what he loved? "You should be taking care of yourself too. You've lost some weight already."

Sohila smiled sadly and bade her goodnight before Nadia closed the door and locked it with a key. Instead of her to go back to her room, she noticed that Hussain was in his room due to the dim that she could spot. She knocked softly and he cleared his throat for her, emanating that she should enter. He knew no one came to his room expect her or Hajia.

She found him seated at the far end corner of his room, with his knees brought up to his chest as he placed his head on them, just staring out at space. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were so red that she knew he wished he was crying. It was too much agony for a heart to ache and eyes not being able to water. She pulled her tears back, trying as much as she could to stay strong for him.

She placed the tray on the bed and slumped on the ground before him. He only looked up at her once and looked away, closing his eyes as though that will lessen his pain. "Second Baba," she croaked, feeling as the absence they all had felt and were trying so hard to move on from engulfed her. There would be no more Hassan, First H, First Baba, nothing. Just the second. And right now, Sohila doubted if even Hajia could feel the pain Hussain was feeling at the moment.

They had been inseparable since in the womb, they came out together, lived their whole lives together. And just like that he woke up one day and got a news that his other pair was no more and he would have to live alone? From where would he start? How would he learn to live alone, make decisions alone, football, everything that they did together which they both loved immensely.

He looked up at her, and no matter how she wanted to stop her tears from cascading down her cheeks, they did. "Do you need a hug?" That was all she could ask him, because she knew, no words nor amount of comfort would make him feel better from this soul shattering pain.

Reluctantly, Hussain nodded his head and she moved closer to him. She felt as he softly engulfed her into a hug. Before, his hold was light on her, maybe it was because he thought she needed the hug more than him. But later, she felt as he tightened his hold on her, feeling as both their body shook with his tears before he began to cry. She held him, feeling choked with her own tears as well. They had missed a part of them that would never come back. And while they cried into each other's arms, they both miss him more. Because if not for death, he would have had his arms wrapped around them now, consoling them and putting his role of 'First Baba' into action.

It was a relief though, Sohila thought, for at least they could have each other now. What would she have done if Allah had decided that her two bridges would fall on the same day? If they had died together, she knew she would've lost her consciousness and would never have regained it. She focused more on consoling him, realizing he was the one with the greater loss among them.

"Oh Hassan, it's been just three days but I miss you terribly." His crying voice whispered, as he tightly held onto the last person he had left. She might not be his twin, but it was a blessing having her and even greater comfort that she was still alive, not dead like his Twin.

•

It had been two weeks since his demise, and it seemed as though apart from; Hajia, Hussain, Nadia and Sohila, everyone had forgotten about the death and had moved on with their lives. Well, practically, they were the only ones deeply touched with the death, right?

Nadia's Mother and her two siblings were going back home today and she was summoned in Hajia's living room. She met the two women talking in hush voices and when she made her presence known, they all looked up at her with pathetic eyes. For these two weeks, she felt as if her stomach had grown even bigger and heavier. She still ate little to no food and hardly ever slept at night.

Mama spoke with a soft voice toward her daughter, "Nadia, we just finished talking with Hajia about your leave..."

As respectfully as she could, Nadia cut her off. "Mama, which leave?" Because where would she go to?

Mama smiled softly, she knew what loosing a husband would make of someone, she was still not recovered from loosing their father and would never have in forever wished Nadia to experience this kind of pain in such a young age. "You have to come back home, Nadia. They've said nothing about it but why not leave now? Maybe it will be so hard to leave later and you know, it's barely three months until you give birth. Even if Hassan was alive, may Allah bless his soul, you'd been preparing on coming home to give birth."

She was softly shaking her head as she turned to look at Hajia that was secretly wiping at her tears, "Hajia, do you want me to leave? Because..." She stopped mid-sentence, not knowing what to say or do. She had even forgotten that she was living in his parents house and had to leave back to her parents house since there was no other thing linking them; well, maybe the child in her womb. "I don't know, if you say so, I will."

Hajia immediately shook her head, "I've been begging her to let you stay here, Nadia. I wouldn't mind having you here for the rest of my life, with your child; because it would be a remembrance that Hassan once lived and he was loved by a wonderful woman like you. But that isn't possible, you have to remarry at one point in your life, I wouldn't be so selfish to have you stay here with me forever." She wiped at her tears as she turned to look at Mama that was staring at them with her mouth slightly agape, she had never seen a mother-daughter in law relationship like the duo shared.

"But if you could please let her for the time being, she still have to observe takaba for him, you know? She will be out immediately after she gives birth. Maybe a week later or two weeks, by then we've adjusted, she can go back home even if it would still hurt having to see her leave."

Mama sighed, just when Hussain entered the living room to get his breakfast. It was almost 1 in the afternoon. His life had deteriorated so bad that he seemed like a ghost himself. Only visible when he wanted to be seen and no matter how hard you tried, if he didn't want to be seen, you wouldn't see him.

He greeted Mama respectfully, walking to the dining table. The bags under his eyes were visible and he was even tired of hiding them away from people. Everyone knew he was grieving, he was just tired of the sympathetic looks. Hajia told him what was going on after he glumly served himself and he turned, having their eyes met for the first time since when she left the living room after kissing Hassan's dead body's forehead.

She was still crying, not even hiding the fact that she didn't want to leave, yet. He turned to look at Mama, "She's still islamically under our care. And I think it would be best if you leave her here like Hajia suggested. Maybe after she has given birth, then at that point we have no right to say she couldn't leave."

No matter how much Mama tried, they had over powered her and she had to relent. Hajia asked the driver to take them to the airport and after hugging Nadia tightly, they bade her goodbye and left. They were all standing by the car and when she turned to go back to her room, she heard his voice.

"I need to take her to the hospital, Hajia. I know, with the grief and all, it's okay to see her look this way but she's sick." Nadia turned to see if he was referring to her and they were all staring at her.

"Me? I'm fine." She shook her head and was about to turn when he spoke again.

"Let's go, I've already called the doctor, he's just waiting for us. If you can't go alone, where's Sohila?" He asked, turning around, "She can escort you."

She internally grumbled, did this man understand what I'm fine meant? She wanted to argue, but from the look Hajia was flashing her she knew it would be useless. "I'll be fine." She had lost Hassan, and she was fine. Just gong to the hospital wouldn't kill her, would it?

They walked to the car together and he opened the passenger's door for her. She slowly sat down, carefully with the weighty baby bump before he walked to the driver's seat and hopped in. Hajia wished them a safe sojourn before he ignited the car and they left. And yet again, Nadia wished this was their joke, the prank of having his twin do something that he was supposed to do for her. Realizing it was the truth, this was Hussain and she would never have to struggle with who was who between the two, she felt as a lone tear cascaded down her cheeks and she quickly wiped it off.