Thank you Charlie  @HumoDeCigarro   for allowing me to translate your beautiful book. I will always be grateful to you for your time and patience to correct my mistakes. ❤️

Thank you to all the readers. ❤️

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April 2018

The nights were total shit, I have slept with Zayn's hoodie so many times that it is already screaming to be washed, but my clingy self still needs the little perfume that is still left in it. It's fucked up to be like this especially because my phone rings all day, people saying that they are worried about me—Jamie, Jenny, my mom—I don't feel like talking to anyone, his absence hurts.

Whatsapp

Jennifer

Channel 420 NOW!

Why?

Don't ask just put it on.

OKAY!

It bothers me, what could be so important? I don't feel like watching TV, but I make the effort. If Jenny asked me, it must be something that concerns me.

"And now what is promised is the new single from Zayn Malik "Let Me" exclusively for you. Enjoy it!" My eyes are wide like a saucer, seeing Zayn in a suit getting off a taxi is enough for my heart to speed up, God! I need him so much, or well, I need the part of him I had. "For the rest of my life" the chorus of the song feels like a knife going through me, I want to be with him for the rest of his life.

Calling

Jennifer

"To all the bitches Hazza that song is totally for you!"

"Maybe it's for Gigi."

"Are you crazy? That song screams Zayn and Harry on every part."

"I'm not in the mood, Jennifer, we'll talk later."

"Wait, Harold, how long are you going to be like this? It is not healthy for you to be locked up and crying with a broken heart. If you are really meant to be together, it's beyond human power to stop it."

"Jenny, I'm really not in the mood, and please, I am not interested in anything about Zayn fucking Malik."

I know I lied to my friend with those words, but it was the only way to be away from my sweet hurricane and to forget it. Again, I let myself sink into the misery which I had gotten myself into, since a month ago.

...........................................

Zayn P.O.V.

"I'm sorry Z! He's still refusing." Jenny lowered her cell phone after hanging up. "Why don't you give him more time?" That was not a solution. I couldn't stay away from him any longer, I need him like hell.

"Does he think the song is for Gigi?" I shook my head. "Oh god! How quickly time passes, our days together, our moments." I swallow the stupid lump in my throat.

"I'm telling you, he can be a little stubborn and hard to convince sometimes. Now if you allow me, I have a client in 20 minutes and I have not even worked on his design yet." She kissed me on the cheek before I walked out of her office, my heartfelt even more restless than before I came here.

I left the tattoo studio which was the only bridge I had that connected me to him, thanks to Jenny. After the day I last met him in the studio, nothing was the same. He doesn't take my calls, he doesn't answer my messages, and I've spent hours outside his apartment fighting with myself whether to get down and ring the bell or not, the latter always wins.

My new album is practically ready, and although I have high expectations from it and I am excited to introduce it to my fans, I miss Harry in the studio, rehearsing, laughing, crossing his gaze with mine.

"Is that you Zayn?" Sara's distant cry is heard, coming from the pool. "I was looking for you. Oh, shit Zayn, what the hell is wrong with you? You look like death! We are months away from the promotion of your second album, you just released a video and your look like a zombie.

"Don't fuck with me, Sara." I lit a cigarette. "I am not in the mood for this right now."

"And I don't give a shit about your mood right now, you tell me what's going on. And I am not telling you this as your assistant manager. I am telling you as your friend, I am worried about you!" She sat in front of me on a lounge chair, imitating my action.

Tears sprang to my eyes as if on cue, I needed to unload myself. And unfortunately for Sara, it was she who would catalyze at the moment. I take a drag on the cigar as I try to stop my tears. I blow out the smoke and turn to look at Sara, her puzzled face says it all.

"Sara, have you ever had a broken heart?" Her lips made an O. "Have you ever felt that you need someone by your side for more war that it gave you?" She was still silent. "Have you ever fallen in love with someone fucked up just like you?" I put the cigar back into my lips.

"Is this about Gigi? Because if so, you can still try to fix things with her." Her question did not take me by surprise, everyone concluded that it was about her. I shook my head. "Then?"

"Harry" was the only thing I said, and the reply seemed to surprise her more than I imagined.

"Harry? Our Harry? I mean, did you have a story or something?" I shook my head again, denying.

"We had no story, we just fell in love." The look on her face was priceless.

"You fell in love?" Exasperated scream "but how? When? Tell me you didn't do anything stupid."

"Yes, we fell in love, Sara. When? I don't know, maybe it was spending so much time together while recording the first album and then the second one. I spent more time with him than with Gigi, I don't know. I don't know how to explain it to you or if we did anything stupid. I don't understand your question." Now the exalted one was me.

"Holy shit! Zayn, why didn't you tell me before? I could have done something about it." Her anger was growing.

"Do what, run?" She nodded. "This is why I didn't tell you before. I needed him by my side, I need him, damn it!"

"Gigi, did she know?" Why so much concern for her? I am the one who is fucked.

"If I am being honest, almost at the end, she didn't deserve it." I lit another cigarette.

"Almost at the end? Zayn Malik, how long were you with both of them at the same time?" Yes, she had reached the peak of her anger.

"It was almost two years. Now that I have ended it with Gigi, the idea was to be with Harry, but he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore." A choked sigh escaped my lips.

"You're a fucking bastard, an idiot! How did you think of being with two people at the same time? But since I didn't see it coming, you guys seem to be masking it quite well in the studio. Your overprotection, your jealousy with Sony." She threw a cushion at me. "Did you fall in love?"

"Sara, swear to God, I never felt for anyone what I feel for him. He complements me in such a way that it scares me. It is so fucking irritating that it drives me crazy. It is so exasperating when he doesn't listen to me, that he always wants to have the last word even when he hates to speak. His way of driving me crazy and not only in a romantic way. He is simply all I want and need."

"There, there Zayn." I hug her, my tears start falling again. "I think you have fallen in love, dear. We will see what we can do to bring him back to you, okay?" The way she consoled me was like that of a mother to a son, which comforted me a lot.

"He thinks "Let Me" is about Gigi." A grimace was drawn on my lips. "when it screams Harry everywhere."

"That's why you insisted that this was your first single, right?" I put the cigarette butt in the ashtray and blew out the smoke.

"What do you think...."

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I apologize for the mistakes I probably have made. I am not a native English speaker and I don't know any Spanish, so I'm sure I have made tons. 😅

Thank you for reading. 😊❤️

Have a nice day, beautiful people!  😘