This book belongs to @HumoDeCigarro. I'm just making an English version. Thank you Charlie for letting me, and also for helping me with the final edit.❤️❤️

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March 2018

"Hazza, sweetheart, be quiet!" Jenny hugged me while my tears did not stop. This fucking hurts like hell. "If you want, we can finish the tattoo some other day when you are feeling better." I quickly refused, shaking my head.

"No, please continue, we'll finish it today." The expression on my friend's face showed that she was torn between putting on a pair of gloves and hugging me. I know, I know her well.

"Well, are you going to tell me what happened?" I kept silent, keeping my guard up. "Harry, it's not good to bottle up your emotions. Please unburden yourself to me."

"I let it go and it hurts, you know? I never knew it could hurt so much. This love and its consequences are so fucked up!" I did not say any more, she understood me. I closed my eyes. The sound of the machine relaxed me, and although the insertion of the needle in and out of the skin hurt, it did not compare at all to the pain I felt when saying goodbye to Zayn "my personal hurricane" Malik.

"All done! You want to see?" I shook my head. I didn't need to read that phrase, not now. "Something tells me that you and Zayn will end up together, maybe not today, not tomorrow, but you will. Whatever is happening between you does not seem real."

"There is not together after our names. We have hurt ourselves enough and it would be stupid of us to get together again knowing the damage we have done to each other." My skin was burning from the newly made tattoo. Jenny put some ointment and covered it with a plastic wrap before we left her private studio.

"Big guy, come here." Jamie hugged me. He was another person that I did not need to tell anything, he could read me like an open book. "I would never have sent you for that stupid test in the first place, had I known that idiot would break your heart."

"It's not your fault, Jam. I'm a big boy, remember?" I did not move from his embrace, it was comforting.

"I say that we go for a few drinks at Nicky's. Let's drink to love and heartbreak, what do you think?" Jamie asked without releasing me from his arms as if he wanted to protect me from something.

Jenny, Dawson, and Tommy nodded. At first, I wanted to refuse, but maybe one night of drinks, good music and friends will help me feel less shit than I feel right now.

"Just look at who we have here. Why haven't you come to see me? We missed you so much here." Nicky said as I melted into his embrace. Stella and Sam came after him to join in.

"If you miss me so much, consider giving me a job again and you will see me four days a week, hanging and smoking around hereafter.

"You're welcome back whenever you want, but I don't think Zayn will let you go easy, right?" I lowered my head when I heard his name. Jamie and Jenny just shook their heads, saying it was not a good time to talk about it.

"Well, sit down at a table and I will send Mason to attend you immediately." We did as Nicky said. I left my backpack on the couch and took my cigarettes and my Zippo to prepare to go out for a smoke. Suddenly everything went black and my legs felt heavy. I didn't know what was happening to me.

"Hazza, oh God! Open your damn eyes, please!" The voice was full of fear, but I would recognize it anywhere. Jamie had his arm supporting my neck, and with his other hand, he was fanning me with a menu.

"What happened?" It was the first thing I could articulate. "Why am I on the floor?" I started to get scared, and added to that, it felt like I was getting a panic attack. I was hyperventilating and my legs felt like jelly.

"You fainted. You gave us a fucking scare, mate." Jenny's voice was broken. "Are you feeling well? Do you want to go to the hospital?

"It's not necessary. It must be that I haven't eaten properly since yesterday, everything related to him, the tattoo. I am probably just a little overwhelmed." All eyes were fixed on me and that was annoying.

"You sure?" Jamie and Nicky raised an eyebrow turning to see me. "Well, at least for today, don't drink. So, water or juice, you decide? Nicky points a finger at me.

"Water it is, dad." I got up slowly to sit in the armchair.

The night was quiet with many laughs and good memories. After the bar closed, Stella along with Sam and Nicky joined the table. I asked them to invite the new guys, Mason and Zack, who had replaced me and Jenny. They were quite fun.

"Harry, is it true that you're a musician?" A pair of green eyes adorned Zack's face.

"Something like that" I half-smiled.

"You should play something." Sam encouraged me.

"Yes! A fucking yes in the capital. I miss hearing you play." Stella, my number one fan, according to her own words.

"Okay, at the insistence of the crowd" I got up and walked to the stage, but instead of taking the guitar, this time I went to the keyboard. That seemed to amaze everyone. I started playing the initial notes of "Fool for you". Jamie and Jenny bit their lips to keep themselves from scolding me for choosing to do something so silly because there I was crying again since this love is tainted.

His essence was impregnated in my skin like an expensive lotion, like the memory of my grandmother's cookies, and what I felt at that moment was not even a damn quarter of what would come next.

I see myself with insomnia, I have no desire to do anything, it's like I am dead inside. I am trying not to fall into depression and have that feeling back in me.

I tried to ignore all the emotional loads. When I finished the song, the crowd applauded and I just pretended to enjoy it. Jamie took me home reassuring me that my motorcycle would be there tomorrow morning, which I did not doubt.

I couldn't sleep as I predicted. After taking a bath and putting on my pajamas, I was wide awake. Sitting on the end of the closet was his stupid red Tommy hoodie, and if my luck was not enough, it still smelled like him. God, I could drown in his perfume, I thought while inhaling the rich aroma.

Should I return it? I know maybe burn it, after all, it's not mine; but like a masochist, I decided to take it to bed instead, to feel him close. If that would torture me, I wanted him to be the only one who did.

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To those who are still reading; thank you for sticking to it even though the updates are very slow. ❤️😊

Hopefully, I will be able to post the fourth chapter by the end of the week. Thanks for reading. 😘😘