Chapter 34
Patrick's POV
I jolt upwards in my bed, cold sweat across my face. Quickly, I turn to the empty side of my bed where Elisa would normally be to comfort me and tell me it's just a dream.
But that's where it ends. It's not a dream. There are two important people that are missing in my life.
The alarm clock on my nightstand reads 8:15 and I'm not in the mood to fall back into the endless cycle of nightmares.
I've been having a lot of reoccurring nightmares the past few days. Tomorrow will be her second week of coma. I can just barely see her pale lips and face in my dreams, her eyes widened, staring at me and calling my name for help. She fades quickly, and it's like I'm glued to the ground. I can't save her. I can't even hold her in my arms and try to tell her it's okay.
Reality check: I can't help her, as much as I think I can. My opinion means absolutely nothing to Leah. For one, she can't hear it; and the second, it doesn't matter what I think. Nothing I can say or do will effect if she stays or if she goes.
It's driving me insane, and I can hardly hold it all in. I need to be okay in public at the least. The fans know about my relationship with her now, but I can't be mad in public. That not only hurts my image, but the band's image. We're doing so well right now, we can't afford to drop because of my issues. That's a lot of weight on me, a lot of responsibility.
How can I find the strength to be strong? What would it feel like to wake up one day and be told that your girlfriend's died in a coma? To never see her smile, hear her laughter, listen to her joke around with the boys. But how could I stop? I can't. I have to keep fighting for Leah if she can't for herself.
Her doctor, Dr. Reynolds, told me that Leah's controlling everything. She decides if she wants to wake up. It's all up to her, and that scares me the most. What if she doesn't want to wake up?
I don't realize how long I've been thinking to myself until I look back at the clock, twenty minutes later. Excuses or not, I still have things I'd like to do today. We just got back from New York after performing for the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. I need to do some cleaning.
I drag myself into the kitchen, brewing myself a cup of coffee and a bagel with creme cheese. After, I flicked on the tv, watching an old Simpson's rerun, procrastinating as usual. I basically wasted half of my day just eating and drowning my emotions.
At around two o'clock in the afternoon, a car horn honked from nearby. I suspected it was just a neighbor trying to get attention. It wasn't. They kept honking.
I looked out the window. A little black car is parked in my driveway. A girl with the same color hair and a great big smile waves from out the window. I might've mistaken her as a crazed fan if it weren't for the realization.
I clenched my teeth and winced, looking down at my Ninja Turtle pajama pants and sloppy 21 Pilots band t-shirt. In this moment, I am so ashamed that I have done nothing for myself. This is not the time to surprise me.
I ran into my bedroom to see if I could throw something on.
My phone buzzed: "Don't bother changing for me Patty Cakes ;) - E."
I heaved out a heavy breath, knowing there was no escape to this plan. The only thing I had time to do was grab my glasses and fix my hair before I walk out the door ashamedly.
"Aww," she said as I sat down in her passenger seat and closed the door.
"Patty Cakes?" I questioned, out of context, but so was the nickname.
She giggled. Leah used to do that the same way, and I loved it, "I don't know, it just sounded cute."
I smiled, "Well, don't get used to it. I like my name the way it is."
"So Pete tells me," she says and pulls out of the driveway and onto the road.
"Last time someone surprised me like this, I ended up in New York. You'd better not be taking me anywhere where there is a camera. You happened to pick a day where I couldn't look better than shit," I warned her.
She looked a little ashamed, "Aww, you do not look like shit. You look cute in your little pjs."
I blushed, "I wasn't aiming to."
She laughed, "That's what we like about you so much, Patrick. You're cute and you don't even try to be."
I chuckle nervously and accept her compliment, doing a little angel pose. I can't help but wonder where we are going? Continuously, I'm stuck guessing to different places, but she drives right past them.
I realize I hardly even know this girl. Leah told me about her and I met her at the meet and greet, but I never really made it out to get to know her. Why did I willingly jump into her car? Why didn't I make an excuse to stay home? Oh the price I would pay to just go home and fix myself up again.
She stops in a hotel parking lot. Why did she take me here? I turn to her with a questioning look.
With the slightest smirk on her face, she answered me before I even asked, "This is where I've been staying since I found out. I brought some of Leah's stuff and I was just thinking you'd like to see some of it. You know... to help you remember."
I smiled, "Wow, thank you."
"No problem," she said and then tossed her hair, "It wasn't just that I wanted to hang out with Patrick Stump."
I roll my eyes, giving into her sarcasm, "Oh, of course not. Who wants to hang out with that loser?" I asked, getting out of the car.
"Me!" she squealed and skittered into the lobby.
There was a long, awkward ride up the elevator. We walked through a maze of halls until we stopped at her door, 357. With my hands held behind my back, I waited patiently. I was trying to mask my excitement. For the first time in 13 days, I'll be able to feel her presence around me, even if it means I'll only get to see a few of her possessions. It's better than nothing, what I'm dealing with regularly.
As soon as she opens the door, the smell hits me. It's her. All of her things, that familiar smell of a fresh summer breeze. There's a hint of sunscreen in the smell, but it's indescribable, the scent of a person. Plus, it's freaky to try to explain how someone smells. Anyways, that's Leah. I nearly lost it then and there.
Emily glanced back at me, "You okay?"
I gulped and looked to the ground while nodding.
"Okay," she said sweetly, "come on in."
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