Trigger Warning: Depression, Suicide mention, please don't read if you think this will trigger you.

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Such a long day

You let out a sigh as you make your way into your dorm. You walk over to your bed and let your back hit the satin bed sheets, sighing once more as you crash in exhaustion.

Why is every day like this?

Why do I always feel so tired?

I can't do anything right.

Everyone had just finished eating dinner in the common area, majority of the class had decided to stay downstairs and watch some tv and play board games, while a few others decided to go back to their rooms. Shouto had asked if you wanted to come to his room for a bit, but you thought it'd be best if you were alone for a while. He has always been so understanding and willing to give you space when you need it, so he agreed, placing a kiss on your forehead before walking back to his own room.

Life has just been so overwhelming, every step feels like you're wearing weighted shoes, every word you speak is strained, you can barely sleep or eat. Your good friends have begun to notice your change of habits. Eating less, constantly feeling fatigued during class, sometimes even falling asleep. You always tell everyone you're fine, and of course they don't believe you, but they're unsure of how they can help. You often receive messages from Uraraka and Midoriya checking up on you, which you do appreciate, however constantly reassuring people that you're fine when you aren't is exhausting.

You've tried your best to keep Shouto guarded from your illness, he has been through enough pain and you don't want to burden him. Countless times he has held you as you cry uncontrollably, until your entire face is beet red and you can't breathe. He is your rock, an inspiration to keep going despite all the pain.

I have everything right? The perfect man, the perfect school.

So why won't these feelings disappear?

Why should I keep going?

I am putting everyone through so much hurt because of my actions

It would be better for everyone if I disappeared

Thoughts rush your mind, overwhelming you to the point of tears. Beads form in the corners of your eyes, tears fall and your hands begin to shake. Your breaths deepen as your voice trembles. You feel cold sweats and the realisation hits you that you're having a panic attack.

Okay, calm down [YN]

Your body doesn't listen, your entire body feels a heavy weight, shaking like an earthquake as your face begins to wash a deep rose colour. Choking on your tears you run to the bathroom mirror. Staring yourself in the eyes, as if that would convince your body to stop.

"I can't do this... I can't.. I can't do- th-is" you stutter, trembling.

Trying to remain quiet so you don't alarm any of the students, you sob. The reflection staring back at you is not the person you once were. Your eyes trail the glass, eyeing each and every one of your own features, your own flaws. Your warm, tear ridden hands cup the cold sink below you. Looking away, you decide that this is it. You can't go on any longer. But where? How?

I can't do this to my friends, my family.. Shouto! But... I've put them through enough. It's better this way.

Hours pass, you find yourself staring out the window of your room, eyeing the tall buildings in the distance. These buildings are the UA classes. A five minute walk and it'll soon be over. You take one glance at your phone before sending your boyfriend a quick text.

11:34pm
I'm going to bed now! Good night Shouto, I love you❤️

Without checking, you throw your phone down onto your bed before leaving your dorm with nothing but the clothes on your back.

Sneaking out of the class 1A building was easy, everyone goes to sleep rather early. It was the campus you were worried about. Instead of taking the regular path to your classrooms, you take a small dirt path from around the back of the building. UA security has grown with the recent attacks, but you were sure that no one would spot you. Unknown to yourself, your fellow classmate Midoriya had spotted you walking from his window. He sent you a message asking what you were upto, but when he received no reply. He decided to quickly call your teacher, Aizawa Shouta.

Making your way to the rooftop, your hands glide across the cold steel railing of the staircase. This is it, you deserve this, you don't belong here. You begin to wonder how you even had the energy to walk this far, but there is no turning back now. Once you reached the top, you make your way to the ledge, taking a seat and letting your legs dangle over the edge. The dim lights of the buildings ahead flicker. A cool breeze washes past, sending a shiver down your spine as you glance up at the moonlight. This is it.

You're feeling delusional, but every day feels the same. Reality is a warped concept, how is it possible to feel this way? Your hands tremble once again as you pull yourself to your feet. Tears falling from your cheek and landing on the ledge you stand upon. Suddenly you hear a door shut from behind you.

"...[YN]... Please, come back from the ledge.." A low, masculine voice states.

You turn, noticing that Aizawa was standing behind you, his hand out ushering you to come closer to him. Making caution not to walk toward you too quickly.

"Sensei... how did you know I'm here?" you mumble, breathing heavily.

"All that matters is that I am here, please.. step back" He states once again.

"Sensei won't you help me?" A deranged grin crosses your cheeks.

"See, if I fall.. my quirk will subconsciously activate.. Won't you help me? By erasing my quirk? Please?"

Smiling through the tears, you let out a small, maddened laugh.

Aizawas brows furrow together in confusion. He felt extreme empathy over your situation, unaware of the full extent of your feelings. He knew that someone else was needed to help bring you down. Luckily, Aizawa had contacted Principal Nezu whilst he was on his way to you. Nezu had spoken to Midoriya about what he saw and expressed his concerns for your welfare. Nezu felt it was necessary to find you and bring your loving partner with him. Fetching Todoroki from his room before making their way to find both yourself and Aizawa. Initially Principal Nezu was called to scold you for leaving your room at such late hours, however given the situation, they knew that Todoroki was the only person who could truly help.

"[YN], You know I will not erase your quirk. I don't want to see you dwindle away like this. You have so much potential, please, don't waste it." Aizawa takes a few steps closer, your eyes widen in response as you take a small step closer to the edge.

"I have no potential, Why... Why won't you help me?"

Aizawa stays silent, lowering his hand. Both of you jump at the sound of a soft voice behind Aizawa. A half asleep Todoroki appears from the doorway, Principal Nezu behind him, staying hidden.

"[YN]... What are you doing?" Shouto muttered, a sigh left his lips.

Immediately a huge wash of guilt comes over you at the sight of his soft eyes staring through your soul. Your cries become louder, covering your eyes with your hands and wiping away the tears.

"Sh-shouto... I-I-I'm so scared"

"Dont jump, Please [YN]. I need you here. We can work on this together" He adds, taking small steps closer to you as Aizawa heads back into the stairway to wait with Principal Nezu.

"But.. I don't know how, I don't know how to fix this"

"Its okay, please let me help you. You know I'll always be here to listen. Don't ever think that this is the only way out, there are so many people that care and if you can't reach out then I'll do it for you. I'm reaching out [YN], stay with me"

You rebuttle back and forth for a while before Todoroki walks to meet you at the ledge taking you into his warm embrace. A sigh of relief leaves his lips as he grabs you, knowing that theres no way he would ever let you go. Hums and sobs leave your lips, muttering gibberish between your tears. Todoroki rubs your back as he holds you close.

"[YN], Its okay. I'm here. Sit with me" Keeping you in his grip, he lowers the both of you to a seated position. Your tears begin to fade and your breaths even out as you rest you head against his warm shoulder, staring off into the stars.

"I love you, Promise you'll stay with me" Shouto whispers.

How could I ever leave him?

"I love you too Shouto, I'm so sorry for everything, of course I'll stay here"

"Dont apologise, Promise me, [YN]"

"I promise" You add, placing a kiss upon his cheek.

Relief washes over his body, squeezing your hand tight. Refusing to let go. He couldn't believe he nearly lost you. The one person who has always been there for him. His kind and genuine words resonate with you. You know theres a long way to go, but for now. You're okay. It okay not to feel fine every day, but knowing that he is there makes it worth it.

You two sit for a while, Shouto doing all he can to cheer you up. You discuss your first date, and how nervous you both were. You discuss the future, smiling as he describes how much he can't wait for you both to be heros, living together and one day marrying you. He has never been overly romantic, his life has been a rough journey and he is still learning the ins and outs of love, but you know he is trying his best. You smile as you look back at him, admiring the way the moonlight reflects against his multicoloured orbs.

"I'm looking forward to our future, Shouto"

"Me too, [YN]" He adds, bringing his hand upto your cheek as he leans in and places a peck against your lips.

The rest of the night was a blur, frankly the entire night was a blur however you remember Aizawa and Prinicpal Nezu coming out from the stairwell, they escorted you back to the dorms. School proceeded as usual, Todoroki thanked Midoriya for alerting the teachers of your whereabouts that night. Both of you thankful for the friendships you have gained. These future heroes and friends have saved your life, you feel eternally grateful.

I know I have a long way to go, but I'll take each day as it comes and face my problems. I am strong, I've made it before and I can do it again. I am loved. I am cared for, even if my brain tells me otherwise. I know I am worth it.

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Please vote and comment if you enjoyed!

I hope you enjoyed this one shot! I promise I am working on my requests however I had a really down week so I wanted to write something a little sad to help me cope!