"Maybe if my heart stops beating,
It won't hurt this much"

Gotham City
December 25 20:45 EST

Then...

Barbara hated Bruce. That much she knew. She hated the way he'd manipulate people. Hated the way he made her feel that night.

Worthless, absolutely worthless. She swung toward the dummy. Thwack. She kicked it, Thump.

Thwack, Thwack. She hated the fact he kicked her off the team. Just like that, without a decent explanation, besides the fact that she distracted Richard. She was sick of his excuses.

She stopped punching. Her posture slumped, the amount of hours she spent here finally taking its toll. Her legs wobbled, aching to sit and not get up.

Barbara gritted her teeth. "Asshole." She hissed out. She began putting up her equipment, her hands shaking from the excessive amount of adrenaline coursing in her veins. She winced as she saw another hand take hers and place ice on gingerly.

She glance up and saw Conner. His face tight with anger. "You left without saying goodbye you know."

She sighed, "It was for the best." She said, taking her hand away from his. She began unwrapping her hands, a knuckle was out of place.

"Well shit." She hissed. She fumbled with her other hand, trying to push the dislocated knuckle back. She cursed, "Fuck." Her hands shook and she stopped trying to push it back.

Her anger and adrenaline was clouding her ability to properly function. Conner watched helplessly, "Here let me help Barb."

She glared at him for a moment, then the anger subsided. "Okay."

She held out her left hand and waited for him to pop it back.

A loud pop erupted from her hand, "Shit, shit, shit..." She repeated over and over, as if cursing would make the pain go away.

Conner chuckled, "Usually you wouldn't cuss like that when you would have to get your shoulder popped back in place."

"Well this, " She gestured to her left hand, "isn't my shoulder now is it?"

Conner shook his head, "You've made your point, now tell me why you left."

Barbara sighed, "I wanted to." She was dimly aware of the sudden feeling of being watched. Bruce, that dip shit.

Conner sighed, "Is there any way to get you to come back? Was it because of Richard? If you want I can beat the shit out of him?"

Barbara laughed, "Don't you think if I wanted to beat the shit out of him, I'd actually be the one to do it?"

Conner smiled, "True, true. Still, if you need me to do anything for you, I will."

She nodded, "Thanks Conner." He stood up, wiping away any nonexistent dust that had collected on his jeans.

"I'll see you later Barb?" He asked, wondering if they'd meet up later.

She nodded, "Yeah, now hurry up, Megan might be waiting for you."

Conner nodded, "I know."

Barbara grabbed his arm before he turned, "You need to figure things out with her, I don't want you or her getting hurt."

Conner nodded, "I know, but-"

"No buts, you need to, okay?" She said.

He nodded, "Yeah. I get it." He waved goodbye and left.

Barbara sighed, glancing at her knuckles that were swelling up. One of the athletic trainers saw the knuckle and winced loudly.

"Wow, you don't hold back do you?" She commented. Barbara smiled sheepishly.

"Well, not lately.." She said trailing off.

"Would you like some ice?" The trainer asked, Barbara then noticed the name on the tag, Lindsey.

"No I'm fine, thanks Lindsey." She said, the other girl froze.

"How do you know my name?" Lindsey asked. Barbara pointed to the tag.

"Your tag?" She said, placing her equipment into her duffel bag.

"Oh right!" Lindsey laughed.

Barbara nodded her goodbye and shifted her duffel onto her shoulder.

Her car sat perched, alone at the parking lot. Most were spending time with their families, Barbara, on the other hand, was busy punching her stress away on Christmas.

What a way to spend the holidays. She thought, as she reversed her car and pulled out of the gym's parking lot. She was rather surprised that it had not snowed this year.

As she arrived to her apartment, dhe killed the engine and grabbed her duffel, shutting the door rather harshly. Her shoes crunched the leaves, her nose and cheeks turning red from the cold.

She slid the key into the door and opened it, dropping her things in the doorway.

Her heart felt heavy in her chest. After this week, she needed some sort of release that wasn't in the form of a bag and gloves.

Her phone buzzed, a text.

Sent at 21:35
Kara- Hey I was wondering if you wanted to go out or something?

Sent at 21:37
Barbara- Sure, where at?

Sent at 21:37
Kara- Vibe. At 12:00pm, meet you there.

Sent at 21:39
Barbara- Yeah.

This could be exciting. She thought.

~Linebreak~

The beat echoed into Barbara's ears as she swayed her hips in time with the music. Kara decided to take Barbara and a few of their normal friends out.

The two had a few drinks, most being a bit harsh on the intake, but that's what Barbara wanted. The feel of the burning liquid sliding down her throat in mere seconds before her mind processed anything, she wanted to forget everything, yet she would only forget if only for a moment.

She caught the eyes of many rakish teens around her age, but the thought of that blue eyed, midnight haired boy, whom Bruce had forbidden her to see anymore, came to mind each time.

She knew she wasn't drunk enough to dance with anyone that night, in the end everything that she had hoped to forget during that few hours of drinking and dancing with random suitors,  some who were obviously merely trying to get her alone, had not sufficed. She had avoided a few that were trying to get a few minutes alone.

Rather quickly, she dismissed herself from Kara and the others, leaving hastily to get home and merely sleep everything off, or at least eat every fucking ice cream she had stashed in the fridge while binge watching some CSI or maybe Supernatural.

She preferred that instead of having disgusting, pig-like males, roaming their hands over her body like a type of trophy to be fought over. She hailed a taxi, paying him in advance to get her home as rapid as he could.

The apartment was silent, and for once Barbara was glad she didn't have any roommates or guests of any sort, the noise at the club had strained her ears to their limit. She stumbled as her body slowly began to shut down from the alcohol surging in her bloodstream. Her body tilted to the side, hitting her arm against the wall next to her. She muttered out a drunken, "Ow." Her reaction time already slowing. Maybe she did drink enough, just a bit too fast.

It took her body awhile to get the drinks into action, as she pulled off her dress, her hands clumsy. She pulled an oversized shirt and decided to try to sleep.

Of course the loud knocking at her door seemed to not fade, she mumbled a slight curse under her breath, standing up to get the damn door.

She pulled the door open to see Richard standing at the doorway.

"Why the hell are you here?" She asked.

Richard blinked for a moment, her response was odd, even for Barbara. His expression confused, he didn't do anything wrong this time, did he?

"I needed to see you." He said.

Her arms folded over her chest, "I don't need to see you, leave." She said. Her head began to ache again. She pressed her hand to her forehead, giving slight pressure to somewhat ease the pain.

Richard watched her intently, "You're drunk aren't you? Damnit Barbara." He stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him. Well, he couldn't judge much, he was probably as drunk as her, maybe more so. But still being drunk didn't mean he wasn't a gentlemen at heart.

"You really need to leave..." Barbara warned. Richard shook his head.

"I'm not leaving you like this." He said, picking up Barbara in a bridal style manner. Barbara gave a small yelp in surprise.

Her arms instinctually wrapped themselves around his neck to keep herself from falling.

Richard's body shook with laughter as he noticed her wide green eyes along with the adorable confused look she wore.

He set her down on the bed quickly, turning to leave once she was sitting down.

He felt a hand grip his wrist, while a tugging feeling gripped his heart, he turned.

The look on Barbara's face made his old thoughts of leaving crumble.

"Richard...?" Her tongue slurred his name, rolling the first 'R', something that he'd never thought he'd hear coming from her.

The protege, the smartest girl, the well mannered teen, the one destined for better things instead of fighting crime. He shouldn't have went to see her that night, he was sure he was going to do something absolutely wrong tonight. Yet, one look at Barbara, and his heart was pricked by a sort of fire. Something that he didn't need.

The gripping feeling in his heart tightened, "Damnit." He cursed as he made his way back to her in less then a heartbeat. He let his own emotions take over along with the pack of alcohol he drank before.

He brought his lips down to hers, she was startled of course, but she didn't seem to mind as she melted into the heart-pounding kiss.

Her arms pulled him down, landing on her back against the bed. His body pressed against hers as their kisses became feverish and clumsy.

Richard swore and chided himself in his mind, but the way Barbara tugged at his hair, made him forget what he was chiding himself for.

They could regret this later, they decided, giving into the longing and love they had shared.

Gotham City
February 14, 09:45 EDT

Now....

Barbara disliked Valentine's Day. Back when Richard was her boyfriend (in a way) they always spent Valentine's curled up on the couch, watching old reruns together.

She sighed, this isn't what I wanted.

She had her music blaring, walking along the streets of Gotham, something that she had missed after all of the drama that had transpired a few months prior.

Dusan had realized Barbara had no intention in marrying just yet. He was fine with it of course, anything that would keep her happy. He merely made her promise to tell him if she ever changed her mind, which she did. There was a loophole that she knew, he never said anything about a specific time after she did change her mind.

She didn't mind the free time she had acquired from school being shut down from the various terrorist attacks. Of course, Batgirl had stopped those few men.

She was actually happy with everything, her life was seemingly in order, both of them. And she felt at ease, slightly. Her mind remembered how her relationship with her old mentor was torn. She wanted to forget the harsh words he had told her.

An early patrol route might work. She thought. She used the shortcuts to get as close as she could to her apartment without anyone noticing the fact that she was crawling into her room via window.

~Timeskip~

The air felt nice as her body swung from building to building. The adrenaline coursed through her veins, giving off a rush into every single bodily function, enhancing her eyesight and her reaction time. She laughed, she always had enjoyed the feeling of flying, maybe that's why Dick was so excited and giddy when they were under the tutelage of the Dark Knight himself.

As she prepared to swing again, a sort of bat flew into her line of sight, slightly startling her enough to fall off the ledge she stood. She always had keen reflexes, but this time she was a bit off by a few seconds. Her body began to free-fall as she tried to gather herself to brace for the impact against the awaiting concrete below.

A pair of arms wrapped themselves around her waist, taking her away from the rushing concrete. Until Barbara had turned to see who saved her she didn't know that she'd hate this encounter.

"Bruce, fancy seeing you here," She said flatly after they had landed safely on a nearby rooftop. Her green eyes piercing Bruce's mask.

"I only wanted to talk Barb," He said grabbing hold of her arm to stop her from making an escape. She glanced down at her arm then to him, indicating that she wanted him to let her go. He realized this and let her go rather quickly, as if his old student scared him stiff, which was odd for anyone who knew him.

Barbara sighed, "I don't have time for you." She said, turning to leave.

Bruce glared at her, "But you do have time to see Jason?"

Barbara froze up at his words, "Are you implying something Bruce?" She asked, daring him to answer wrong in front of her.

He merely shrugged, "You said it not me."

A sort of rage filled her veins, "Look Bruce, I don't want to see you and you don't want to see me, how 'bout we keep things simple. We can both leave and go our separate ways once again, and not talk to each other for I don't know another few years?"

He sighed, "Barbara I only want to fix things with you."

She eyed him, wondering if he was remotely trying to deceit her into believing him again. She had once, and look where it got her. Three years of solitude and one major case of trusting issues, something that she had not wanted to fall back on after years of trying to get over the fact that her once present mother was not returning anytime soon.

"I don't know if I can trust you again Bruce, you lied to every single one of us about Jason, hell you lied to him too. I thought I knew exactly who you were once you showed me underneath that stupid mask, but it seemed that it merely led me to questioning your actual identity. Every single lie you told us, only made us wonder if you truly cared about us. I'm surprised that out of all of us, Jason found that out early enough before he would get sucked into your schemes and crazy ideas." It was a low blow and Barbara knew it. Bruce hated being reminded, but Barbara hated being reminded of Richard and how everything had fallen apart in merely days.

Bruce sighed, "Barbara you can trust me. I've changed, I don't deceive others into this gig any more."

Barbara glared at him, "Oh really? That new Robin by your side says otherwise. What's the kid's name again? Tim Drake?" She felt bad, talking down at him, but he would never learn. Jason was taking away from him, Dick had left him, Barbara had disowned any connection to him whatsoever, yet he continued to gain new partners, and surprise, surprise, each one was younger then the last. It irked her.

"Just please listen to me for just one simple second, just this once then I'll leave you and your family alone." He pleaded, wanting Barbara to give him a chance at restoring everything.

She pondered everything over in her head, but the way she watched the tiny sliver of hope in his eyes slowly begin to fade, she conceded, maybe he did want to change. "Fine, I'll listen, but that doesn't mean I don't still hate your guts."

Bruce nodded, "I understand, I think you might want to sit."

Barbara raised a brow, "Are you going to tell me what I need to hear or every single one of the Brother's Grimm stories?"

Bruce cracked smile, something that Barbara had not seen since Richard had actually befriended the young daughter of the Commissioner several years ago when they were children. Back when Richard had just been taken into the arms of the billionaire playboy.

"In all retrospect, I should've taken better care and steps into making sure my sons were settled in the world rather than spending my time into trying to keep them from ever finding that the world is cruel and it takes away the people you love most." He says, as he continues, Barbara has a hard time trying to hate the man's actions toward her relationship with Richard.

"Believe me when I say that I never wanted to hurt you in that way, I just-" He paused, trying to find the exact words to express just how sorry he was for acting like a giant douche to his adoptive family.

It felt odd seeing Bruce stutter along his small speech in his Dark Knight suit. She had always seen him speak rather boldly and without mistakes, but this time, he almost seemed...normal. If that could be a word to describe them.

"I didn't want to lose them, Barb. I promised to protect him from everything, I didn't want him getting hurt and seeing you getting so close to my son like that..." He trailed off, glancing toward her to see if she understood what he meant.

"I get it, you wanted to protect your son from a rather rebellious girl like me right?" She said, bringing her legs up to her chest and resting her head on her knees.

"No that's not what I meant, I just didn't think that instead of you hurting him, I had forgotten that the relationship works both ways, I had forgotten how easily he could've hurt you too. I was too busy trying to protect him from you that I didn't realize just how much you cared and loved him. Barb, I was so irrational taking those actions without thinking things through. And in the process I hurt not only you, but both of you by making him choose to leave."

He sighed, his gaze toward the ground, "I should have been there for you, your father was busy with his work and you were only a student under my supervision, you needed someone and I broke my promise to you in becoming not only your mentor, but friend as well."

Barbara felt the sting of tears in her eyes, she reached up to wipe away any before they fell, she realized that a few had already made their way down her cheeks. She chuckled bitterly, "Hard to believe it took us three years to actually become allies again."

Bruce laughed, "I'm hoping that you and I will be able to work together again."

Barbara took a moment to think, "Yeah, I think it's time to forgive and forget. Three years is enough bitterness for me." She smiled, thinking of Jason's words a few months back.

Bruce nodded, "I'll try to visit from time to time, I know your father is going through some hard times right now."

Barbara nodded, "Thanks, for everything Bruce."

Bruce gave her a sad smile, "I need to make things up for everyone, I'm not going to be that man again." He promised, before he decided to leave Barbara.

She watched the world below wondering how it would feel to be normal. Her eyes had seen and memorized details that not many would be able to.

She remembered Richard's crooked, cocky smile that would look down at her. She remembered the Team. Their ways of making missions somehow fun and exciting. She remembered the red-headed boy who died too soon over the course of the empty three years that Barbara had struggled to get past.

She shook her head, clearing her mind of the things that hurt her, taking them deep within the confines of her memories. She sighed.

"I miss the way things were." She spoke silently, watching the racing cars rush past the building she stood on. Watching as the calm, serene night soon become pierced by the sound of a child crying, or the screams of a woman down the road.

That would be the constant in her world, the evil that will continue to purge Gotham, she only wished that the people in her life were as constant. This was exactly why she preferred books to people. Books stay with you, they don't lie or leave, they are only filled with words that can ignite a fire  of imagination within a person.

In the shadows, Nightwing watched her soundlessly. His gaze saddened by hers.

In a way they were close, yet they couldn't be further apart. He sighed.

If only things could change back. He thought, as he watched a few tears stream down the side of Batgirl's mask. The light of the stars made the single tear glisten as it fell, cutting the surrounding air and landing on the concrete.

He took a step toward her. She heard the crunch of leaves, and turned quickly, a batarang in hand. Her reflexes still as sharp as ever.

"Batgirl, it's me." He said, then realizing that he had never told her who he was.

She raised an eyebrow. He was acting as if she knew him. He reached up and took off the mask.

"Babs it's me." Richard said.

She lessened the hold on the batarang. "I shouldn't be surprised, you used to tease me about making a new costume and not telling me what type." She said, putting the weapon back into her belt.

He smiled at her words. "You remember that?" He placed the mask back on his face.

"I remember every single thing I read and/or see Richard. I'm not one to forget so easily." She says, pulling her mask down. Her red hair fell out, trembling down past her shoulders, her green eyes now cat-like.

The tension surrounded them, laying a thick layer of resistance between them.

"Why did you come?" She asked, turning back around, glaring at the building across from where she stood.

A sigh escaped from Richard's lips. "I saw Batman leave with an odd look, care to tell why?"

Barbara nearly shook her head in annoyance. She had already cried once, she'd prefer not to in front of Richard again.

"It not anything for you to be concerned about, I probably should go home, I have go check on my dad, see if everything is okay." She says hastily as she pulls the mask over her face.

Richard grabs her arm before she can jump.

"Barb wait. I saw Jason..." He says, expecting a reaction.

"And?" She asks. He blinked at her.

"You aren't screaming or freaking at the fact that he's alive?" He raised a brow at her.

"You're a bigger dumbass then Bruce, I saw him a few months ago, during Christmas." She says, making Richard freeze.

"Wait you saw him? What? Why? Ho-" She placed her hand over his mouth to shut him up.

"He found me banging my head against my steering wheel." She said, waiting for Richard to calm down enough to let him go.

He nods, pointing down at her hand. She lets go and wipes any excess saliva that Richard had drooled out on his suit.

That gave her an indignant, "Hey!"

She shrugged,"You're the one who slobbered on my hand."

Richard groaned, "This suit is expensive." He whined.

"That sounds like a personal problem to me." She retorts, clearly amused by Richard's childlike antics.

Richard rolled his eyes, "Okay ha ha. But seriously, are you and Jason-" He stops himself, either from discomfort or from the look that Barbara was giving him.

"Are Jay and I what?" She asks. Her arms folded over her chest.

"Are you together?" He asks, slightly nervous, expecting Babs to punch him for digging into her personal life. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the blow.

An unexpected laugh echoed from Barbara's mouth. She couldn't stop laughing. The mere notion of Babs and Jay being remotely together was absolutely irrational.

They had always been the de facto adoptive brother-sister relationship in the group. It was the way it's always been, and to have Richard imply that Barbara's adoptive brother was dating her, it was just an odd thought.

"Don't get me wrong Dick, he's a good kid, his heart's in the right place, but he's like my brother. I'm not willing to date my little bro." She said though fits of laughter as she watched as Richard began to get flustered from her words slightly.

She grinned widely. She reached up and flicked his nose, "Gee, Boy Wonder I would've thought you'd have enough sense, but seemed Blüdhaven has taken a few brain cells."

Richard stumbled back, tripping over his own feet, he grabbed Barbara's hand to try to stabilize himself. No such luck claimed them.

Instead he dragged Barbara down with him. She gave out a rather cute, endearing yelp, while Richard bit his lip from giving a startled yell. The two landed in a thud against the roof.

Barbara caught her self before her forehead could hit Richard's. Richard groaned slightly from a bit of pain.

Barbara lifted her head looking down at Richard. And for once, she was speechless. The light of the blue had brightened Richard's blue eyes, heightened the dark blue ring that encircled the lighter hue in the center.

She tried to breathe, key word tried. Her breathing hitched. But then again Richard couldn't say much.

He was awestruck at Barbara, he was aware at how their bodies pressed together, much like a puzzle piece missing it's half.

Her hair cascaded downward, a curtain shielding them from prying eyes, well their faces. Richard reached up and tucked a bit of her scattered red hair behind her ear, trying to find the bright emerald eyes he loved to see.

Once he found them, he couldn't get enough. Her true feelings were shown through those alluring green eyes that tempted him in ways that the Commissioner would scold him for.

He could feel his heart pounding underneath his chest, he was sure that Barbara could hear and feel it.

Her hands were pressed against his chest, but that wasn't what was the problem. He wanted something, and he couldn't figure out what, that is until Barbara had decided for him.

Her lips nearly brushed his, then the world came crashing down on them. Barbara leaped away, putting on her mask. She stepped a few paces away. A broken look had taken hold on her, something that made Richard wince.

"It's nice to see you again Barbara...." A voice said, obliviously angry and pained.

She turned to see Dusan, his pink eyes glared at Richard, as they landed on Barbara, they softened.

He then turned to Richard, "You will pay for violating my Barbara's heart, you've tricked her into nearly kissing you, when you merely left her like unwanted trash, you deceitful man, no boy, a real man stays with his lover." He snapped his fingers and at an instant men surrounded the duo.

Barbara cursed in her mind, I'm so stupid, I should've known two suited human beings on a roof would bring company.

Two men grabbed hold of her arms, restraining her slightly. She struggled, "Dick!" She yelled in panic. The two brutes smiled at her, most likely wondering if they could have fun with her. Her mind began to race, desperately trying to find a plan that would work.

Richard took in the situation, he wanted to sprint to Barbara's side, but that's when he noticed the men that had him locked in place.

Dusan pulled a gun and aimed at Richard, Barbara swore her heart stopped, the gun was trained on Richard's heart.

"At this range, the bullet will tear through you." Dusan said. His eyes turning green from the effects from the Pit.

Barbara elbowed one of the men and judo-flipped the other. She rushed toward Richard. His eyes widened as he took in the scene. Time slowed for everyone.

"BARBARA NO!" He screamed.

Then the gun cracked. A shrill scream pierced the air, then silence overcame them.

A/N: Please don't kill me...T_T.