I had gradually dozed off into a peaceful slumber. I could feel something warm tingling my neck. I felt so warm and cozy with all the cushions plumped up and the blankets wrapped warmly. It was like I was drifting to the most peaceful of my slumbers. Strange. I felt myself cuddled up to another quite a huge object. Like the object was warm, hard, soft. Wait hard and soft don't they contradict. But however contradicting it might be, it is undoubtedly the most tempting thing I heard. Whatever the object was it even moved up and down. I smiled while my lips dug into the thing. The object was more than glad to keep me close. It practically drew me into it. It was warm and I purred like a cat. I nuzzled into the thing and I heard a moan. Stranger. Objects can moan and can also usher in heaven on earth. I lazily opened my eyes to find Neil "my" object practically stuck to my body. His nose was against my neck and showered hot breaths spreading warmth throughout my body. His arms were now around my body enclosing me and shielding me into the cocoon of his shelter. I nuzzled against his chest. Neil opened his eyes and looked at me. He was pretty fast. I lay a glance at the clock. It was indeed 2 hours since he called me. I raised myself a little and kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes and kissed back my temple.

I: Neil you know I am angry

Even while saying I was angry ,all the manning up or rather in my case all the womaning up of showing who the boss was died in my brain. I looked at him sheepishly.

Neil simply smiled and then kissed me.

Oh god I could feel the world revolving about in top speed. The kiss it was making me go abcdefghihj

Okay out of words. His taste it made my world swirl. I am glad I was not standing or I would have ended up falling with a thud right where I stood. Neil moaned softly in the kiss while I almost let out an animalistic sound. After some time we parted. Our foreheads joined.

Neil: You might be angry love. But when I call you my love I also take a promise that the anger won't last long.

I almost squeaked desperately: God you know I felt like stuffing you into a closet then....

Neil: Kiss you senselessly and maybe make you feel the plethora of emotions of meeting the rightful owner of my male reproductive anatomy.

And he winked.

He sincerely winked. That wink meant or rather initiated the idea that I was to go all mushy. But I had to be angry and I can do that part very sincerely too. Thank you very much.

I kicked him inside the blanket but wait why the hell does my legs feel like it got trapped amidst two brick strong rods. Hmmmm it feels nice but wait I needed my leg to invade Neil's private asset okay not invade kick him to realisation that no one messes with me. Yes I got it right now.

Neil: No miss no one kicks me over their. The only girl allowed to get her hands over there is you but no one kicks. Its Neil Khanna's....

I completed: Neil junior huh..

Neil's eyes glittered very impressively: Its very much senior if you ask me.

I: No one asked you. I will test it when I feel like.

Neil: Just notify me when you have the turn on coz I am always in a mood just that you don't seem very happy to break it so fast.

I quickly shifted and now I was on top of Neil. He was below me gazing into me with a very amused look. I parted his shirt a little. Neil's breath hitched.

I: Turn on huh. Well that is something which you morning glory or erections totally showcase with utter precision.

Neil smirked. So you do take out time to notice the fact that your husband is strangled with the desire to do so much but instead satisfies himself with cold showers. I am gonna catch a cold so very.....
I did'nt allow him to complete. I kissed his rock hard chest. He whimpered in surprise. I placed my chin on the spot I had just gifted with a kiss. His breathing had gone haywire. Like his inhale was with as much force but exhaling was almost like he was struggling with his breath. A smile tugged in the corner of my mouth. This is what happens when he crosses my radius of charm. What he is right now is sincerely just becoz of me. Even if he is bashed into make out sessions by someone else he would not feel what he feels right now. No. Becoz the only person who has copyrighted every little inch of him is me. Well the issue of someone of the female kind laying her hands on Neil before getting her ticket to the nearest graveyard is pretty much termed as "impossible" and this is a different issue all together.

Neil shifted beneath me

Neil: There you go again. You have a real hang for keeping ME hanging with all the pent up frustration. Come on do something. Or I swear I won't live the night with my Mr Senior providing me with its company.

I smiled. Okay suddenly I was feeling low. I know I am a pissing wife. But I just felt like the ship of my heart which was sailing suddenly burst into an iceberg. Very dramatic but I indeed did not feel very good. A few thoughts came kick casting its way into my mind. We were going to New York and I still had to deal with a lot of medication procedures. Like my life was less of a tangled mess that now the knowledge that my parents had to deal with a lot too came into the scene. Neil had just gotten over the serious trauma of the situation. HE had finally stopped finding flaws in himself which he previously used as excuses to accuse himself of hurting me. The news of me probably getting totally cured had just registered in him and brought out the Neil I know and not the Neil I was afraid to know. The last few days were very pathetic when people were more concerned of letting me know that "hey if something happens to you I very well know that even my job in this hell of a world is done for". Excess of passion is dreaded. Excess of everything should make me find another place to hide my ass. Everyone was so panicked including me. After all cancer is prejudiced to be a life taker disease. I can very well box it down and rip its hands off if this disease proved it really was a human. Neil was even scared that if he touched me then maybe that place would pain me with enough dedication to leave me wasted for lifetime. He was so messed up like even messier than what happens when I try to find one dress I am sure I had but just don't have the luck to find amongst my closet. Okay this was a very enchanting way of describing the very humongous situation we were in.

Neil seemed to have realised that I was just having an entirely different play being enacted in the funny little object called brain.

Neil swept me and now he was above me. He towered over me like Burj Khalifa. Tall, dark, hinting eccentricity and dead gorgeous eyes with a flicker of danger written over them –is I guess what the perfect man to love might sound. Leave out the dark part coz my husband was really fair. Well he should very well be carrying a danger sign board saying "Don't look straight into my eyes coz too much of intimidation might just burn you"

Neil: So would I have the pleasure to know what affects her majesty.

I: You may know that her majesty intends to tell his majesty that she is very worked up.

Neil softly whispered tracing his finger on my cheek.

Neil: What is it?

I: Neil you know the last few days were not the best of life. So just a little exhausted. Moreover this New York thing is very mind wracking. I need to go so many miles away from the place where my life resides.

Suddenly something pulled off him and he jumped to sit almost like a robot. He looked like a disdainful lion who would just start growling as things were mot going his way.

Neil: Is that your way of smashing the fact on my face that you would very well not want to go with me and instead be stuck in this place.

I was really a little taken aback. Before I could throw back the boomerang and bring him to senses he started.

Neil: Whats so great about this place. New York is another realm of the world altogether. We had already decided that we were going there without much of drama. Maybe you did not voice that out as of now but you had very well hinted that you accepted the fact that we were truly going. Its just a place you can't be so hell bent to strike me with a rod every time you make it clear that a part of you wanted life here. Why are you being so stubborn. Okay wait I know you are the stubborn one so I cannot expect much to come from you right? Just maybe a little of mercy can be squeezed out so as to grant me access to a little of your private life.

Tell me ways to strangle a person or maybe like inspirations from the tribals can also do me good as they tie victim upside down and then do stuff with them. However I could feel the anger crawling under my skin and all those small figures in my heart dancing with pom poms and shrieking "vengeance", I very well knew that I was hurt. Never did I think that he would be reacting this way. I told it in a very light manner intending not a single ounce of what he made it sound. Dah he is so pathetic right now.

I: Is that all you go to say? Come on I am planning to listen to all your accusations and get them finished for once and for all in one go itself. Coz trust me the next time I hear them I won't be able to conceal the desires I am having which include my sharpest and wicked tongue saying a few not very cool words or my hands which too have a little affinity to you skin at the moment. So never talk to me like that ever again.

I warned him in the coldest voice I could possibly produce.

Neil's voice softened: Thats not the point Avni. There's more to it. Fine I am sorry. I should'nt have spoken that way, Its just that I got the idea that you might want to leave me.

I almost screamed: Get the heck with your insecurities. I mean why? So much of insecurities.

Now I just need to ask. Something that maybe I wanted to know for a long time but never got myself to say or even bother myself with. I don't know whether this is the right time to ask but I have to ask anyways. I mean insecurities dude this guy is filled with them like anything. However hard I try to shoo them away they just resurface back. Why? He always claimed that he had a past and not a very good one either. It made him what he did not want to become. I never questioned him. Thinking he would tell me when he deems it necessary. We have been through so much but I never asked. Just never. I knew it was bad and that was enough for me. But now I know that unless I know what had happened I cannot get myself to get him cure for good and for eternity.

I: Neil have I ever asked you as to what had happened to you that made you something close to a monster.

Neil nodded in a negative. His expressions pained. Like he knew what was coming next.

I: We have been through so much. Our relationship has grown pretty much in a position where it was stranded in a cliff end. Yet we stayed back for each other. Right? Then what are you afraid of. Neil I need to know what had happened. You'll tell me. Okay. Your gonna tell me now.

Neil suddenly got up on his feet. I was still on the bed and looked into his eyes. I just prayed that he did not run away again. I needed to know. It was time I know. It was time we move on from his past. Yet he thought it much better to let it overshadow our present but I definitely knew better than that. I was about to stop Neil from going but he had already left the room or rather he scurried his way away. He was still running. Never tired of running was he. But now I have to get to the bottom of this.

The nurse came and got me a lot more of medicines. I looked through the treatment course, Easy just maintain a disciplined life with yes a lot of medicines crossing paths.

I asked the nurse whether I could go around a bit. She said it was absolutely okay. I had to believe that I was a normal person capable of doing everything. Becoz times have changed. Cancer is curable and I am more than thankful that it was caught in the right time. The first doctor whom we had consulted was a dickhead. Okay sorry for saying that but he actually got us petrified. He was like it is an aggravated stage and stuff like that. He said it without even testing much. It was based on hypothetical symptoms that it was aggravated. I had fainted and various other symptoms just made him say that. It took the reports to come in about 2 days and we were all scared like hell. And then Neil hired a new doctor who was supposedly the best in oncology who said that it was curable. Chemo was not needed and that was the biggest relief. Otherwise the other doctor had almost planned that the next week my chemo would start. Pretty confident doctor. He sort of gives out the wrong diagnosis and does not even wait for reports. I wish we had met some other doctor who could atleast tell us "Wait for the reports" and not "Wait you have got it bad you know" Stupid. He did not even tell he had a "feeling" I got it bad. He almost started with all procedures and the drip was necessary though at that time if I wanted to survive without passing out every second.

Now shoot my cancer coz I need to find where Neil is. He just vanished and it was then that something struck me. Hey were'nt Shweta mom, dad, bebe in the house. Then why did they not come up to meet me.

I slowly ...focus on the word slowly. God I could not even get slower, I went down the stairs. I saw that it was practically vacant. This was surprising. Where is everybody. I asked one of the servant who was following me like a leech. God knows why. I looked at him to question when I realised that he looked so unlikely of a servant. He had a pretty good masculine figure. Like a fighter sort of. Filled with biceps and muscles. He was huge and the ruffian face had a glint like it could kill.

I asked: Where is everybody.

Servant: Maam everybody means?

I was pretty agitated: I thought you knew what "everybody" means. Well any ways it means that all the people present somewhere. In short where is mom,dad, bebe and Neil.

Servant was pretty decent now: Neil sir just went to his office and the rest left for London to Neil sir's private villa.

Neil went back to office. This was disappointing but he could just not avoid me I would never let him do something of that sort. As for the others this was rather baffling why did they also plan to run away like that. Why is everything going so out of the ordinary.

I: Thank you and now tell me who you are.

The man was very much taken aback. He gave me those glances clearly shouting "how did you get to know". I gave a triumphant glance. Dah I am always right.

The man fumbled: What ..do you mean maam?

I: you very well know what I am speaking of. Lets not do those formalities of you being shocked and then you say something shocking and then its my turn to be shocked. Lets leave those small particulars for some other time and now you speak.

The man thought for a second and then he said his eyes now pretty much becoming close to a fighter I thought he was: I am your personal and head bodyguard appointed by Neil sir.

Great this was the last thing I wanted. A man hovering around me like a shadow and who was supposedly to keep me out of danger. God how I wish I really had executed a few moves on Neil.

I: And what is with the head bodyguard. Don't tell me that there are more like you.

My bodyguard: There are definitely more like me but only 10 of our kind are employed to look after you.

I whistled. 10 people huh.

I : Fine now go and try not be sighted by me. I really despise seeing you following me like a rat.

The man chuckled and went away at a safe distance atleast away from where my ninja moves would come of effect.

Neil god why is he so different. Its good to be different but he is a little too out of the way like beyond my prediction sort of. He scuttled away to his office just becoz he was scared that I might end up getting the entire thing out. Well then let him know this very well that I am going to get the entire thing out anyways. Moreover this bodyguard thing was not even notified to me. No doubt that I would have put up a huge fit but still it was his duty to convince me to be escorted everywhere with 10 men hovering in the shadows down there.

I sat on the sofa. Walking did take a toll.

Neil's POV

I know I ran away. But could I do anything better. Probaby yes. Maybe I could just hang on and gotten myself into more trouble by saying stuff I never meant. Still what was I to do. I never thought that the question she never asked would suddenly pop out of no where. And it was no question it was that question which had gotten my existence a huge question mark too. I drank down the bitter coffee. Damn it was so cold. Okay now I know 1 hour was enough to get a mug of coffee cold. I sat in the office trying my level best to put away my thoughts to rest. Atleast I tried but its more like try and fail, try and fail....The project was good and I should be smiling my asses off or celebrate but that was practically the last thing I could do.

My mind kept whirling to that night which changed my life. Trust me when I say change. It tore my life into fragments. Just splattered everything.

Snow a lot of snow. More like a blizzard. Those distinct scenes. They frighten me. They threaten the life outta me. My muscles flexed. I looked at the cut on the lower side of my wrist. This cut which embraced me was a souvenir of my past. One that is going to live their forever. I can do nothing to either delete my past thinking it to be a corrupted file and neither can I remove this cut. No one knew about those marks on my body. One pretty distinct. A tattoo removal just smudges the work but the scar, it stays back.

I breathed out. No I am stronger than this. I cannot let those memories drowning me into pools of despair. Nah never.

I fell back to my chair. Ofcourse I am doing that very thing. She asked me and I was to tell it without hesitation but what did I do. Run away and make her even suspicious of what I had been upto.

But there were reasons why I hid those scars underneath a tagged gentleman with a coat. What I had been previously was so much different than what I am now. I am a made up businessman now but previously I was so chaste and lived my life in ways people cannot imagine. My associates were beyond anyone's imagination. My life was totally wild. It was so different. No one would ever believe that it was the same Neil Khanna you see sitting like a granite statue in the chair dealing with business . I was like the wind. No one bars me. Just no one. That was when I faltered. Got hit so bad. So bad.

I felt the moisture in my eyelids. I rubbed them at once and sat down to look at the papers.

But Avni deserved to know. She was guarding my back ever since she came in my life.

Life with her was secure, life with her was safe, comfortable, warm. It was like home to me. Nothing could make me feel like I was kicked off my house or I was unsafe when I was with her.

But I know why I cannot get myself to say a word about it because as much as I was infuriated, frustrated....such light words.....hell as much as I wanted to be in the warfield avenging with blood I knew I was wrong. Maybe Avni will look through me and sight the real monster in me. She thought she knew the evils hounding me and I let her live in that bubble of knowledge but I knew that was not true. She never saw the ravenous, ruthless, brutal monster, in every sense of the word. I never let anyone see it.

Leaving one person who saw through me and actually gave her hand to help the monster get up. Who made me what I was. Who was (my heart whispered "once the dearest to me") Coz she did not believe in judging she believed in living the life in the wildest way possible and I loved that about her.

I wish I could tell Avni. I really swore my heart to her in all aspects but she would be scared away. She does not need to be frightened. I cannot stand the fact that she is scared of me. Never.

I stared back into vacuum. I did'nt know what would happen next. I really dreaded to know too.

Hello everyone. So how was the update and more importantly how was the past overshadowing thing.

Now I filmed the entire past in a very out of the box way. Trust me when I say it is totally mind blasting. Like very unexpecting. Nothing like neil and a girl love each other. He gets cheated and he becomes ruthless. Nah not at all. I made the entire plot thinking and wracking my mind for like an hour.This actually links and gives an explanation to a lot of things. A little of his suddenly going to New York leaving the work part and a lot more.

Someone who actually guesses the thing you know your too intelligent and your procastination power is just marvellous. Like your very smart indeed. And you get a dedication from me in the next update.

Now coming to a very important part. A few people are actually interested in seeing this book in a different way. Like they want another book with the names, places and other few particulates changed. Same material but with a little more of editing. Now why they want this?. I had recently participated in chaos awards which is actually a global contest and you get the award when the judges read your book. I got suggestions and reasons why my book was not selected for either of the awards. They told my book had potential but it was localised to a single source of fanfiction so everyone cannot connect to it. I told them that I did not want to change my book so they suggested that I make a new one. So I sort of want that to happen. In that way I do not let my main motive of writing "avneil" dying and I also get to promote Indian fanfictions.

Phew finally wrote it. So now how many in support of this.