Avni's POV

I was shocked, stupefied, utterly scared, distressed, angry, cheated, lonely and what not. Neil just left me alone and went away. He never thought about how I was to deal with this. How will I live with this horrified feeling that there is a dead body outside my house and he was killed by my husband. How could he be so ruthless, so inhuman. Didn't he have even an ounce of the feeling which we named humanity. Has he gotten over all those worldly feelings. Most importantly did he even love me? Does he even know what is love. It is that divine feeling that makes you better every moment, it is that feeling that gives you the reason to feel life on earth as if it were life in heaven, it is that feeling in which an undying respect for your better half is developed. And what will I respect him for. Ha just for killing people like he is a born criminal. Love begins with trust. I am tired of hearing this term trust. The more I hear of it the frustrated I become. I give it to someone or rather the same person knowing that he had misused it the previous time and as usual, history repeats itself. Everytime the very value of this word is uprooted. The person who was talking volumes about trust in the morning forgets it as the day comes to an end. He told that I did not have a forceful encounter of sharing my first night with Aryan instead I was willing enough to do it. I don't know what to do. Laugh, cry break down or keep sitting like a statue in this garden with that thing at sight and the rain pouring over me. I was feeling so cold but the coldness outside was nothing in comparison to the freezing coldness within. The vacant space was again forming within me. The complete feeling I had a few hours back was being snatched away. I could feel myself sinking. Sinking deep in that realm of darkness. I thought my love for Neil was my rescue but no it was a curse. Yes it was the most treacherous curse in my life. I am very unfortunate to have someone like Neil as my soulmate. I don't know. I think I am not good enough to be get the life I wanted. I laughed a little. How could I even think of achieving that life which was never written on the pages of my destiny. My book was a broken one with the pages filled with nothing but sorrow. Neil again left me. Maybe he would never return. Even if he does will things be the same?. I might forget what he did with Aryan but what he said. I can tolerate anything but self respect.... very hard indeed. I am not a rape victim I am the survivor. I have washed away those dirty feelings then nobody I repeat no one has the right to denounce me. I am a woman and I am proud to be one. I am no one's slave or puppet that anyone whether it is my own husband only disrespects me and doubts me when its the society, the man who did this to me at fault. No either Neil explains and gives me a valid reason to stay back or I would not look back while leaving this house where all my happiness, life everything is linked. I got up. And went towards the house. Moreover Neil won't be unhappy to let go of a person who according to him cheated on him and "warmed her bed with someone else". This very thought was scary and something I could not believe as of now. Did he really doubt me? Did he really think that my womanhood is something I give someone for rent. Did he really think that it was my choice to let go of my virginity so easily. I remember screaming and begging him to stop but he brutally disrobed me and...

Tears were now a part of me. Every day they return back to me as if I was its only rightful owner. I went inside the house or rather dragged myself there. I heard a car stop outside. I looked out the window in the hall room.2 men came out and took the body maybe to dispose. I felt like laughing hard. I mean Neil has the time to tell people come and dispose bodies but he does not have time to console his wife after what he had done why console he does not think that he owes me a justification. Why am I even here?. What am I waiting for?. Another round of humiliation?. He would just shrug me off like I am nothing of importance. Still this heart it never agrees to my brain. I know that my brain is right but the heart is so adamant that it still tells me "NO Neil is forever yours. He never meant that. We can still live the life we want." Well what to name this heart-mad, crazy, emotional or maybe MADLY IN LOVE.

I somehow went to the bedroom . I sat on the couch not caring about the water dripping from my clothes. I took in deep breaths because I was feeling like I was getting strangulated with these questions hovering around. Suddenly Miss Jaya the person who controlled the household came in. As far as I knew she was with Neil since he was very small. She was a person whom Neil could trust and the only person who never had to face his wrath. I tried to brush away my tears and stood up. She just made me sit and said: Maam look....

I interrupted and said: You don't have to call me maam. Just Avni would do.

She gave me a smile and said: Fine Avni so I don't know what happened between Neil and you but I know that Neil loves you like mad. Trust me he is mad for you. If he said anything in anger then do not pay heed to it. Punish him but do not try to distance him from yourself. For the entire world he might be a cold hearted businessman who can manipulate people etc but let me tell you he is very weak at the heart. He cannot bear the feeling of letting his loved ones go while you are the adorable thing which is most precious to him. He never means what he says in the fit of the moment. Do not judge him for that. He is just scared to lose you. Believe me he IS VERY SCARED.

I did not know what to tell. Maybe she was right. Maybe what he said was never meant for me. He might not be able to register anything so he just said. Just to avoid more of the fight he ran away. I felt a surge of hope rising. I think to change him completely I need to destroy the seed of anger that resides in him. I thanked Miss Jaya and went to change. I changed into a little comfortable clothes and sat huddled up in one corner of the bed. I was feeling very scared. As if I was being followed by the soul of Aryan. Maybe all of it is my imagination but I still felt so eerie. I wanted Neil so that I could run to him and snuggle near his heart. It gave me so much peace.

WHERE ARE YOU NEIL?. I NEED YOU BESIDE ME. I NEED YOU TO STAND BY ME. I kept my head and dug it in the space between my hands.

I just whispered:NEIL PLEASE COME BACK...PLEASE

Neil's POV

I ran away I literally ran away. I did not even understand as to in which direction I was going. My tears were blinding me. I could now understand what i had told to Avni. I repented like anything but the damage had been done. I hit the steering wheel numerable time. I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was that what I had done with that fuc*king brat was right. He deserved it. I rubbed of the tears from my eyes because I could not see a single thing in front of me. I was driving like I was drunk. Nearly hitting the cross ways and what not but suddenly I saw a bar beside. I had come here before. I did not think for a second but just entered. There were people dancing with their perspiring bodies clinging on to each other, kissing and doing more than that. I was too much engulfed in my own mix of emotions that I just went and ordered for some drinks. Alcohol was my way of forgetting everything and everyone. It made me go to that stage where I cannot feel this pain in my heart getting uncontrollable. When I was about to take a sip, Avni's face flashed in front of me. She wanted me to never touch alcohol ever again but my woes were stronger. I got reminded of what I had said to her and how badly she was affected. I was a very bad person who can not keep promises. I was so bad that hell was also not a place which I should be assigned. I did not have anything for what I did to Aryan but Avni. Didn't I love her. Ofcourse I do. If it would not have been then why would I feel my heart bursting. Why is it only her coming in my mind every second. Why is it only the mistakes I have committed that have affected Avni my sole reason to deem myself with the name "betrayer". I just gulped down the alcohol. The bitter taste first shook me a little. After that it gave me the relief I was looking for. I kept ordering until I was too high to be in my senses. I wanted to lose my senses and drift to a world where I do not know what is happening. I took the entire bottle and drank it down. This liquid was making me forget everything. Everything was numb now. Wherever I looked I saw Avni. She was smiling at me. I took the support of the counter and sat properly. Suddenly I saw a girl coming towards me. She almost sat on my lap and supported herself with her hands wound around me. I did not have the strength to get her off me or should I say I was not in my senses to decipher what was happening around me.

The girl sensuously traced her finger on my face and gave a sloppy kiss on my shoulder.

Girl: Hey handsome lets go up in a room and give justice to this night.

I did not understand but the girl pulled me up while I just followed. She was wearing very revealing clothes with only a little clothing in her private parts. It never struck me that she might be a girl looking for one night stands. I just went to the room and sat there looking down. Everything was so hazy. My head was now spinning. I heard the door closing I looked up to see the girl staring at me. I had never seen that emotion in anyone's eyes. Now I know it was lust.

She just said :I will freshen up and come in a sec. Stay put because the night is going to be long.

She winked at me and went towards the washroom. Maybe I thought the girl was Avni so I came with her. She came after sometime. Now her attire was absolutely different. She wore a very short skirt with her legs in full view her. She wore only a blouse type thing that covered her possession.

Ahead it is mature content. Skip this if you are uncomfortable.( I want to thank my friend I won't name her because she does not want her name to be included. She practically gave me all the "scenes" while I just reframed it. Reason being that I was myself not so comfortable in writing mature parts. SO yes thanks a lot. Love you)

Suddenly she climbed on me. I did not have any strength left in me. I was just doing everything like a robot. She started to unbutton my shirt. She was kissing my bare shoulders rather in a weird way. Love bites maybe. I could not to anything. She suddenly sealed our lips. She massaged my lips and then protruded her tongue within my mouth. She sucked in. It was a nice feeling as if some hormone was getting activated and giving me a hard time. I started to feel hard underneath. She took off her clothes. I had my eyes closed. As far as I knew I was with Avni so I had nothing to be scared of. I just had to go with the flow. She pulled down my pants and boxers. Suddenly I felt like she was licking my penis. I moaned. Her speed increased. I felt heavenly. My liquid released. Now Avni(or the girl more precisely) asked me to pleasure her. I went down and parted her sex lips. She had started to moan and was exquisitively wet. I licked it and ran my tongue in its full length. She was now fully turned on. I even tried to penetrate my tongue inside her vagina but she panted and told me not to do or she would climax. I was now waiting for further instructions. Avni( we know it is the girl ab Neil ko kon bolega)told me to position myself above her now. I did that and then he told me to penetrate. I did not know I felt something was wrong. I was not doing the correct thing but what I do with Avni always seems to be correct and I was with her so there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever I let my penis touch her pubic mound. She moaned and then I slowly tried to insert my penis inside her vagina. She almost screamed. I finally had the full length of my cock inside. I started to pound. I started slow but ended up making it really fast.

Girl: Harder, harder, faster yes yes over here. Oh my god this feels so good.

The bed also moved violently. After some time both of us had a blissful climax and I went into a deep slumber. I was very sleepy. The alcohol and the hot session was a toll on me. It was like I was dead for 8 hours. Nothing could wake me up. I woke up at about 8 in the morning. My head was spinning and the throbbing pain was almost intolerable. I somehow got up but strangely the place was not known to me. I expected to find Avni sleeping beside me but my life's biggest shock was yet to be discovered. I found that some other girl covered with a blanket, wearing my shirt was sleeping beside me. I was so shocked that I fell on the ground. I nodded my head in a negative. No this cannot be happening. No no no no. I did not cheat Avni. No I cannot commit such a huge mistake. No this is not a mistake it is evil. I tried to remember anything about last night. I was heavily drunk so I could not understand what was happening around me while I got entangled in a one night stand with an unknown girl when I have my wife back home who was waiting for me to return. No I could not have betrayed her. I love my Avni I did not warm my bed with any random girl. I was to keep it for my world Avni. I was supposed to share this with my Avni. It was to be our holy night when we would have united and become one, when I would give what I have to her, for safekeep. I could not be so disloyal. I had talked volumes about how much I love her. How will I even go infront of her with that guilt in my heart that I slept with someone else. I tried to get up but was unable to. My eyeballs wide open as if I had seen a ghost or should I say seen the reality which is even more horrific. My face had become death pale. It had lost all its colour. I was going to faint after what I came to know. I thought it was Avni but she was not that girl. I cursed myself. Why am I even alive. I have only given her reasons to hate me. The biggest one just got added. Yet she loves me so much. I have no right to go before her. I have no right to expect her love but even after knowing all this I would not be able to stop myself from falling at her feet and beg for one chance. I cannot hide this from her. I cannot look into her innocent eyes that looks at me as if I was the only person she could trust and lie to her everyday. I cannot. The tears had again reappeared. I started to let out heart wrenching cries. I am again going to break her heart. How will she live with it. What if she does something to herself? The very thought made me shudder and shake in fright. I cannot live with the fact that I murdered Avni. NO please no. I rubbed my tears away and stood up but faltered once or twice. The girl woke up. She gave me a smile and said

Girl: Hey your leaving. The night was very impressive. I must say you are smoking hot and your internals are just.... Would love to meet you some other time too.

I just told her : Give my shirt back.

Inside I wanted to kill her but I was the one at fault. Infact I am always the one at fault. I just took my shirt and wore it my tears were wetting my cheeks. I was going to face my nightmare. Avni will hate me. She would leave me. She will be gone maybe for good. She deserves so much better. I am just the dirt on her shoe. She should just brush me aside. The girl suddenly appeared. She just had the blanket around her breasts and she asked: your name.

I gritted my teeth and replied: My name is "your death"

I heard the girl telling :atleast a contact number or how would we have a second time. It was awesome right.

I just went away. Sniffling and trying to control my tears. My hands were shaking. I felt disgusted. I just drove away. A time came when there were two roads. One led back home and the other led to the airport. One was gateway to my happiness, my everything was there. The other was an escape. A way to go far away from Avni. It might give me immense pain but my Avni would be safe. She would be safe of all these dark secrets. She would not name me as a mistake, her life's gravest mistake but I was a very selfish man indeed. I could not go away from my Avni. She is my magnet I had to return to her. I was not aware of how could I make her understand that I had given away what was hers to someone I do not know.

Life had again brought me in that juncture when I will again be rendered a beggar. I will have nothing to lose because all I have is already lost. I will again be the broken Neil Khanna but this time it is me who broke my better half's heart. I will lose her trust, respect and what hurts me the most is that I will lose her love. A new feeling will see the light of the world that is hatred. SHE WILL HATE ME

JUST HATE ME....

Guys so how was the update. Well I am having the feeling that mujhe bohot logo se jute parenge. Well so here starts story of Avneil ab kya hoga mere ilawa kisiko nahi pata. Moreover my story is very unpredictable so agar aap log sacche maan se pray kare toh apki tapaswya fal laygi. I am telling you Avneil can still be together.

As for the votes guys they are very disheartening aur comments ki baat karna bekaar hai. My account is alive only becoz of you guys so plz it is an earnest request either you tell what loop holes I have or you vote and comment. Guess what I write updates with an average of 3000 words or more than that. Everybody has written compositions in schools it used to be 300 words that very feel is like kab khatam hoga likhna so think about 3000. Silent readers you really upset your writer. Trust me it takes a lot of pain to type, think about plots and what not. I have a very tough schedule but I still make it a point to give you all updates. This does not go to some of my very good readers who make it a point to always comment and vote for me. Thanks to them and others vote karna apka adhikar hai. Usse mat gawaiya(sounds political).

So please please please vote and comment.