Neil's POV
The car screeched in front of my house. Well I don't even know as to how long this can be called a house. Without Avni this would just be bricks and walls providing shelter but home...it goes with Avni. I got out. My fingers were shaking. Tears, should we even talk about them. I was broken. The thing that was hurting me even more was that I was going to break another heart into countless pieces. I have no reason to believe that she would be able to collect herself. What I thought was something all girls do when they are loved madly but this time it was me. I was a cheat, fraudster and what not. I was lacking adjectives to describe what kind of a human I am. Well why give me the tag of a human. She loved me with all her heart and what have I ever gifted her. Loads of pain, sorrow yet she still waits for me there in that house. This time I was sure that Avni deserves better but how would I let her go. I am selfish. Utterly selfish. I cannot stand knowing that she is packing her bags to leave me forever. I am a devil. I am that demon who would capture an angel forever knowing that this is not where she belongs. She belongs to a place of tranquillity and peace but I would keep her hidden in one of the rooms of this mighty towers where even sunlight does not make its way. It would be a prison for her but I cannot let her go. I need to see her every second or my heart beats would stop. I need to know that she too is breathing from the air present in this tower or my breaths would stop. I love her. I am mad for her. I am obsessed with her. I am dark, I am evil, but she is my sunshine, light that keeps me from becoming a monster. I strode towards the house. How am I going to tell anything to her? But I will tell.

Avni's POV

I could not sleep for a second. I was sitting in that very position with my arms round my knees in one corner of the bed. I wanted Neil. I was craving for him. I just wanted to run to him and he would cradle me against his arms. I wanted to smell him. That musty smell with his perfume gave rise to such a gracious scent that I start to feel that everything is okay. I want to feel like that because right now I can have thousands of bubbling emotions but none of them told that I was okay. My tears had dried in my cheeks, but I was feeling so cold. I wanted something warm. I wanted to feel Neil's body wrapped against mine. It gave me an immense feeling of safety and warmth. I would just dig into him. Well sounds crazy but Neil is what I need. I don't want anything more. Just him. I want to be just enough for him. I know what he had said was also not correct but it was like the last night had brought in so many feelings that I was ready to forget them. Life without him is impossible. Yeah I would make him sign agreements stating that next time he says anything of that sort he leaves the house. I have also made plans how to make him master his anger. We would get over this aggressive emotion of his too together. Now I was also worried. He did not have anything to eat. His stomach must be grumbling. Well if mine is then even his would. Well I don't care whether I am hungry or not but Neil needs to be full. Suddenly I felt like I could sense him near me. My Neilo Radar was catching his radiations. Well this radar is very high definition one and is never wrong after all its origin is from the heart. I craned my neck now. Come on Come on Neil you have to come. It was like my prayers were unanswered. There he entered. My prince Charming as handsome as ever again came in my life. It was like someone just opened the window to let the fresh gust of air to enter. I was so happy to see him. He had been crying but its okay I am there to console him. His eyes were brimming with water again. He was so happy to see me. I just got up on the bed and literally jumped on him. He took me in his arms and hugged me very tightly. He was breathing very abnormally. HE was trying to suppress his tears. It was like he was living this hug for one last time.

He told with great difficulty: Avni you don't have to love me. Just don't leave. Please....

I said: I am not leaving moreover I DO LOVE YOU.

Neil: You won't. Hereafter you will hate me. I know that

He said as if he never wanted that to happen but it was destined to happen. I was a little perplexed. What was he talking of.

I was about to tell but he silenced me with his finger and said

Neil: I want to hug you one last time please let me. The next time it would only me hugging you with love while you would be struggling against me.

"I love you Avni" with this he engulfed me in hug but he was also scared of something. He kissed my shoulder. I shivered. I was missing his feel. I really was. He kept whispering" you are just too good for me". Now I could not understand a single thing. What was going on. Neil was pale white. He looked so sick.

I told: Neil first eat something you are looking very pale.

When I said this his tears were just flowing down with more ease.

Neil sat down on the ground.He literally slumped on the ground. I too sat down and cupped his face.

I asked him: What is wrong come on Neil you know that you can tell me anything.

He looked at me tearfully and asked like a child: Anything but what if you leave me after that?

I told: I promise I won't. And I don't make false promises. I will die but will keep my promises alive.

Neil sniffled and looked down and thought for a while. I kissed his forehead.

Neil: Avni I have commited a very big mistake but trust me I did not do it intentionally. I was drunk. I

He broke down in the middle. I looked at him softly. He was like a broken child. I needed to do things a little patiently or he would get scared.

Avni: Neil comeon you can do this. Tell me. We will sort everything.

Neil looked at me keenly and told: Avni I went to a bar yesterday. I was very tensed. I was scared and what not. I was very high. I had lost my senses. I did not know with whom I was but I felt that a girl just took me up to a room where we ....

Now I was getting hyped up. NO what I am thinking cannot be true. He couldn't have. NO no no no. They went to a room. NO relax Avni this cannot be true.

I shouted: Neil what did you do. Neil your scaring me. Tell me. Please for godsake don't be shut. I need to know....

Neil said between tears: A one night stand.

The ground just parted under my feet. My world came crashing. I could not believe my ears. NO this did not happen.

I took hold of his collar and shouted: Neil what did you say. Neil what
Neil just cried.

I left his collar and sat down numb. I felt like the entire world was swooning. My life was falling apart. My mind had lost the capability of thinking rationally. My heart had forgotten that it could pump blood too. My eyesight was getting blurred. Were they tears? I had become a statue. I could hear his sobs. What was happening? The pain was so intense that my body had shut down all the actions or I would definitely die of a heart attack or brain failure. I looked at space. The person I loved the most had betrayed me. He slept with some girl. He was drunk so he lost his senses and gave away his.... This can't be happening. My nightmare cannot come true. No this cannot happen.

I turned to Neil and screamed: Neil please stop joking. It is a very bad one indeed. Neil please tell me that what you said was all false. Neil please.

He was not answering my volume was increasing.

I shouted: NEIL GOD DAM IT TELL ME.

Neil said: I slept with some other girl.

Saying this he started to cry like anything. The pain finally caught me. I touched my chest. My heart was breaking inside. My tears were flowing down. Strangely I could not feel anything. Everything had gone dark. The light which was looming receded. I slumped on the ground. I was betrayed. I was cheated. He did that to me. He killed me. I had nothing inside me. It was like someone was snatching away the positivity in me. I was being filled with waves of negativity. I could not react. I had lost the abilty to do so. Shock, stupefied were all words which can never get to explain my feelings. Pain sorrow were a disgrace to what was going on within me. Ever felt what it is to feel like the very reason you live just got snatched away. Well then too, you cannot match my pain. I was feeling like someone had pierced in a syringe and was pulling out my life. The Neil whom I worshipped he.... My heart wrenching tears were inaudible to me. I felt a hand reaching for my cheek and trying to rub off the tears. I did not flinch I let him do that. I cannot distance him from myself.I cannot get myself to hate him.

He murmured: YOU hate me.

I gave a pathetic smile

Sometimes we start laughing when the circumstance are wild. Reason being that life had made us stand at a juncture where we smile at our very own pathetic self.

My lips and quivered and I said: NO I don't hate you I hate myself.

Neil somehow said: Why?

I said unconsciously: I was not good enough to keep you interested in me.

As soon as I said this. Neil started to cry hysterically.

Neil: NO Avni no... you can't think in this way. I am at fault. I got drunk I thought her to be you No Avni you are the best please don't think like this......

I again laughed. I was going crazy.

Avni: I did not have to be the best. I just had to be good enough for you. I could not even do that.

Suddenly I stood up and started to rub Neil's hands and legs. I even took his feet in my hand and was rubbing it. Neil flinched. I had to remove every trace of that girl from my Neil. I had to kill every little touch that girl had marked on my possession. I had to make what just belongs to me solely mine.

Neil said between tears: Avni please stop. Please....

He caught hold of my hand. I struggled. He just took me in his arms and hugged me. I could not feel anything. I could just make out that I was engulfed in an embrace where I could smell that healing scent that made things okay. Still today it was not working that efficient. I broke down. Yes I had to break down. He collected me in his arms. I was right now being comforted by the same person who broke me. I did not care. I just need him right now.

He kept saying: I am sorry....... I am sorry.

I replied: what for.

He did not reply he just tightened his grip. After some time I got away from him and sat on the ground in the usual position. I was behaving very strange like I had gone crazy.

I asked Neil who had gone silent but was crying underneath.

I : Neil why am I not worth you. Why can't I get you.

Neil : Avni its not you its me. You are the most beautiful lady I have ever seen. I did not want to do this please don't blame yourself.

I kept shut again tears were flowing like it had no intentions to stop.

Neil questioned. HE was scared to ask this yet he somehow said: Avni you will stay right.

I laughed like anything. I laughed till I had forgotten that I was crying too.

I: Where would I go? I promised everyone I cannot leave this world. I promised you that I will stay with you. I promised dad that I will forever stay beside you in my marriage day. I am bounded by promises. Neil you know what this pain it is pleasant nowadays. I am getting addicted to this pain. It has got a new taste these days. I like this pain. How strange.

Neil's eyeballs widened.

Neil: Avni what did you say? You cannot love pain. NO Avni no you deserve happiness. Avni....

Neil's POV

No Avni cannot be getting addicted to pain. This is how patients are during the first level of addiction of self harming. I have given her so much pain that she has started to seek bliss in it. I could not have stooped so low. Avni was basking in pain. This statement knocked off the air from me. I was killing my life. Sounds ironical but this was the truth. She was now going in a phase where darkness was becoming her light. She was laughing now and then because of this. I was scared now. Utterly scared. She might start to attempt ways to hurt herself. How would I stop her. When I married her I had taken vows to protect her and give her all the happiness but what was happening right now? She was sinking into pain. This had started long back but today I enhanced it in such a level that there was no turning back for her. She would definitely do something wrong.

Avni moaned: Yeah this does give a little peace.

I turned to see her scratching her hand. She was doing it so hard that blood was oozing out from her pale white hand. I just looked without blinking. I was aghast. I could not control myself. The happy,chirpy girl who spread happiness everywhere was now seeking peace from pain. I immediately stopped her.

Avni: No please don't stop me. This makes me feel better.

I tried to reason: No Avni pain gives us pain, happiness gives us happiness get this right.

Avni again laughed. When pain becomes your best friend then why can't it give me happiness. Friends are meant to be giving us bliss then why can't my new bestie give me that.

I was at a loss of words. What will I say?. I was the reason of what Avni was right now. She landed up being this broken girl because of me. I stood up and crashed against the wall. I looked at my creation before me- My broken love. I had finally destroyed her. She was so weak that I cannot even cure her.

Avni said as if she was talking to herself: I am just a worthless creature. Neil chose someone else because I was not good enough. Still I will hang on to him. I want to take my last breath in his abode. I will become a servant in his house too if that would mean that I can be close to him. I am not capable enough to be his wife but atleast a servant I am afraid not even that but I know Neil is kind hearted he will keep me here.

Her monologue made me struggle with grief. It had so little hope. How can I save her. She was in danger. I take her to be even above me while she thinks that her place is in the servant's quarter.

I was frightened. Very frightened....................

Avni's POV

I lost Neil too. He chose someone else to me. I know it was not his fault. He was drunk and he wanted to spend time with someone other than me. I am a hopeless creature. Just a weakling, a parasite who feeds on Neil's love something which it did not achieve but just stole. Suddenly I felt Neil's lips on mine. His tears made me realise that he was so near to me. I could not respond. An unknown fear was gripping me. Neil bit my lips for it to open. My lips parted. It was a very passionate kiss as if he was trying to tell me that I was very special but these feelings were making me scared. They were once the same emotions that made me go to the 7th heaven but now....No. I parted and quickly withered and mixed against the wall. Those emotions were arousing panic attacks. I was terribly afraid of love, affection and all these plethora of feelings. It was like they were reaching out to me. These feelings were beautiful. They were very gorgeous but now they are the villain of my life. I have experienced these emotions so many times but always they turn out to be bubbles of illusions. I wanted them to stay away from them. They always get shattered before my eyes. I am afraid that they will again grab me. I tried to dig further in the wall away from them. They were my new nightmares. I suddenly felt Neil's touch on my skin. I shoved his hand.

I said: Please Neil don't love me. I feel so scared and afraid of the feelings that arise when you are around. Please.

I chided like a child. Neil looked at me and then fell down in front of me. He was crying while I was feeling sad but this sadness was appealing. It was. I get scared when I find love.

Infact I can say love is the most scariest thing in the universe.

Now I hope you understood why I made Neil do that just so that Avni can become like this . Avni has not gotten over her inner wounds. She did not show it but now becoz of this the entire of her inner trauma has been reflected. SO now Neil knows the disease so medicine would be easy to find.

Guys thank you for supporting me when I was being questioned about what I wrote. I sort of told that girl" go to hell. Why would I listen to what you jerks have to say about me" I said this when she started to tell about whether I am an avneil fan or not. Well let me tell you the truth if you all want the usual norms like ladki dekha, pataya fir shadi karli then this is book is not for you but if you want something which is like a roller coaster ride with touches of reality then you would appreciate this book. This is a story of two tremendously flawed people who are linked with the bond of love.

Let me tell you Neil is a manipulative dark businessman( nothing like the show). SO you cannot expect him to be roaming about in front of Avni. He is a volcano when it comes to anger. I value suggestions to improvise but not to destroy the very essence of the book. Neil is dark. Avneil will have to work hard for this relationship to work.

Lastly I am a very chilled out person but if I get bashed without reason then I swear even my tongue or rather my fingers can lash out. Moreover if I had intentions to separate Avneil toh why to do the rape drama. I don't know why I updated so fast but I jus wanted you to know why I made Neil do that.