Avni' POV

I could now finally understand where I was standing. A place where I knew I had no where to go. I was stuck over here. Neil betrayed me. Yes he did but I had now got out of the initial bend of trauma.I am not a weakling. I had locked myself in this room because I could not bear his sight. Whenever I see him I could feel that I was not good enough. I was having the feeling that I had committed a mistake by falling in love with someone like him. I cannot tolerate those creepy hands clawing at him. He was just mine. We were meant to be solely ours. Then why did he choose someone else over me. My emotions of sadness, insecurities everything had poured off like the inital smoke of a volcano. I had laughed enough at my fate, I had cried over it more than it deserves. Now the underlying lava had to come out. I was not inviting it but the womanhood inside me would scorn at me if I would not have. The fire I always had which was hidden under the scared lover girl is needed in my life. I don't care whether its my life, love in front. In the beginning I was thinking like I could not breathe. Someone snatched my life out of me. I was feeling like someone is strangulating me. The harsh truth of life is overflowing like poison. Too toxic to let me live. Well now happy me. That poison has washed away everything. Every small emotion that was clinging on to me. All of them have drowned. What else do I have to lose?. All I have is gone. Well good to have this feeling. Its good to lose everything atleast it gives the warmth in your heart that you can never experience the painful plethora of emotions screaming at you and letting you know that your life is finished and that it have been a part of this destruction. I was bright, happy, chirpy but life has brought me here. A girl who doesn't know what is happiness. Its like " come again what do you mean by happiness?". My demons have scared me enough. I have been trapped in this castle of sorrow with chains of love for a long time. The air mixed with stress, fear, betrayal has haunted me enough. Now I will have to show what Avni MEHTA is. The prisoner name I had in this castle" Avni Neil Khanna" is in the past. I will show them how I break but wait not the shackles I will reduce the entire castle into ashes. Well they have welcomed the very destruction of this place. Circumstances teach you the ways of life. Fear is something which dominated my past but in my present....it just makes me laugh really hard. I do not call it courage I just give it the name of REVENGE.

He broke me so he would not live with expectations or lets make it better he will have expectations but I would break it every time. I will ignite hopes but also extinguish it with my own hands. Sitting in this room in an isolated corner with my hands round my knees rocking to and fro I am collecting energy to fight the biggest war of my life. I had well composed myself or rather hidden these useless feelings in a folder of my system called" unnecessary". I had already begun my game. I had planted the seeds of suspicion in him that I was getting to be a self harm patient. Well this had created havoc in his heart. I know he loves me but the thing is that for me love is not what I care of, trust tops my list and well that term is better not spoken off. It has been broken so many times that for me the letters of the word also fails to join to form the word. Neil will face me. Today I can officially say he is not my love he is the person who disowned my love. He is the person who has given me so many reasons to hate that today I have landed up here seeking the path for revenge. He IS MY LIFE'S BIGGEST MISTAKE. I was preparing myself for the escape from this castle to see the light of day once again. He is the demon of my life and I am the girl whom he underestimated. I had to accomplish my task because now this is what I live for or my life is meaningless. Strange that my life always ends up being either hurting or loving the same person"Neil Khanna". I had many ambitions now. I had to kill Neil from within. I had to destroy my very house. Many things to do.

Lastly I now understand that what Neil had felt when he killed Aryan after all that same surge was being experienced by me. Well Avni Mehta will find her and do what Neil had to do with Aryan. I smirked and enacted actions of firing of a gun. "KILL HER". Now I have just anger in me. Drowning in fire which I will spread around.

The fire will devour everything........ everything.

Neil's POV

I was pacing in front of the room. Avni had locked herself in there. My heart was thumping like anything. What must be happening in there?. Is she fine?. She had made me go outside telling that she doesn't deserve me so to stay away from her but silly girl how can I go away from her. I am hypnotised in her love. I cannot think straight when it is she we are talking of. I love her madly but my actions never support me. I felt like bringing out my gun and just shoot myself. Hurting her makes me hurt myself 1000 time more. I cannot live without her but will these emotions bring my Avni back to me. She was so helpless. I will never be able to forget that scared, stupefied, horrified look on her face. I was the cause of all of it. I slumped down on the door. I was feeling sick. I rested my head on the door. Everything around me was getting blurred. It was like someone was feeding on my energy. I moaned Avni's name once. I tried to sit up properly but could not. I wanted to see Avni once. If this marks my end then I want to see my princess once. I was craving for her. I wanted her in front of me. Before my eyes close I just want to carry her portrait to wherever I go. I moved restlessly. I am evil, dark, people know me with the colour black but Avni she is the colour of my life, she is my love, life, obsession and my most precious possession. Sadly I could never explain to her what she meant to me. I had no hopes now even if I collect some from the deepest part of my heart I don't know whether it would have enough light to illuminate our lives. I was losing consciousness fast.

Avni where are you. Please come back. I want to see you before these eyelids droop too low to see you again.

Well I am unfortunate I do not mind being this too. Just give whatever good luck I have to her. I didn't need anything just her but I never had the right to get her. With this everything became so blank. The darkness within sprinkled everywhere. I could see but voidness.

Avni's POV
I heard Neil sitting in front of the door. I did look up raising my head a little. My cheeks were dry now and also determined to never let tears flow again. Even if they are needed again then just crocodile tears. I could hear silent muffled sounds like he was getting very restless. The movements were very odd. I heard a sound which resembled more like my name. It was painful. I wanted to go up to him. Well this made me realise however hard I keep these emotions away my heart is already corrupted. It has a virus named "Neil Khanna". However hard I try I cannot remove him from there. Reason being that I had myself conjured him there. I had cast him or rather myself a spell that he would be entrapped in my heart forever. I will have to die with him thumping in the left side of my chest. I love him. I really really do. I cannot explain what the extent of my love is the truth is that I do not want to give anyone details of the exact amount of love I carry because that would just reveal that I love him infinitely. He was my first and last love. He was my first crush and last. He took away my first and last kiss. The only thing which he had taken forever is this broken heart. I got down the bed and went towards the door. Everything had quietened. I got a little tensed. What happened out there that silence engulfed him. I tried to let the door ajar and see what is going on outside. To my utmost horror I saw Neil lying their unconscious. I got rooted at the spot. I had never dreamt in my life that the man who never fell against any storm of his life was withered against the wall. The mighty devil of the castle who had not only trapped me here but also possessed me as a whole. The man for whom my life is devoted. The man whom I had secretly vowed to protect was lying there clueless about his existence. I could not get myself to react. Was I at fault. Did I hurt him to this extent. Did my self harming thing bring such a huge effect on him. I was again being moved with those emotions. I was feeling utterly guilty. I wanted to run to him. His arms gave me solace. I wanted to run and cry in them. I wanted to feel the magic again. I was scared. Oh yes I was. I finally found my mind which was loitering else where. My heart was swollen in pain. It was like someone was knocking my life out of me. I ran to him. Tears had already clouded my eyes. I was really angry on these droplets. They were not letting me have a clear view of my love who was right now unknown of my presence. I never wanted such a situation to be born where Neil is unaware of my being with him. I tried to collect his head on my lap. He was carefully snuggled in my lap. My tears were overflowing. My tears were making my talking very difficult.

I somehow said: Neil, baby what is wrong come on I am here right. Get up.

There was no response. I was going mad now.

I shook him a little still there was no difference. I started to let out heart wrenching cries but I did not care about them. I just cared about Neil not answering me. He was not paying heed to me.

I was now screaming. My tears were just flowing down like running water.

I shrieked: Neil get up. Neil why are you doing this. You know I cannot live without you. I need to hear your voice. I love you please....... Neil get up.

It was then that it struck me that I should call for a doctor but my mobile was inside how could I leave him here. This was the most difficult decision in my life. I gently placed Neil's head on the ground. Looked at him once tearfully and ran for the mobile. I was so scared to lose him that my body was breaking into a fit of hysterics. The mobile slipped from my hand twice. I somehow got myself to call.

I spoke but my sentences were having no connection.

I said: Doctor.... Neil he is not responding please come home right now.

The doctor tried to calm me down but I just retaliated saying: Doctor please come right now please......

Doctor told me to try sprinkling water on his face. That may work.I just threw the phone on the bed and made a run for Neil. I took water and sprinkled on him frantically. He responded minutely. Like his eyelid fluttered and his lips quivered a little. I took his hand in mine. It was so warm while mine were freezing cold. I was so scared. I lowered my head and placed it on his heart. I could sense that thumping organ beneath. A tear drop fell right on it. I tried to help Neil get up. He was too heavy for me. I fell right over him. My hands on his chest. It was rising up and down in a very irregular fashion. I tried to call for someone.

I just shouted: Someone please come.

My eyes were bursting with water. Miss Jaya came up. She was also aghast to see the situation. She helped me carry Neil back to the room. I did not look anywhere. I just sat beside Neil on the bed. I placed his head on my lap and patted it.

I whispered: Everything will be okay. Trust me...

I joined our forehead and kissed his nose and then eyes. I made him cuddle to me. I held him like I never had.

The doctor had arrived. He asked me to stand outside. The panic surging through me was intolerable. NO one can understand what I was going through except someone who knew how it feels to see that person around whom your life revolves, lifeless in your lap.

I sobbed silently outside the room. It was then that the doctor came out. I looked at him with great expectations. For the firs time my prays reached the correct place.

Doctor: Nothing very serious. It's just that he was very stressed out and his not having food for the past nearly 36 hours took the toll. Moreover I am having the feel that he had consumed alcohol. It further caused this. I have just let in the drip so as to get him a little hydrated. You must take care of his food and all that. He is neglecting that really bad.

Relief seeped into me. Atleast I knew he was okay. I almost cried in front of the doctor. I gulped down the tears and thanked him. I went outside. I let out those tears which I had not let out in front of the world. I whimpered while the tears oozed out which just portrayed the relief I had. Many treacherous thoughts had intruded my mind. They were eating me up from within. I cannot lose Neil. Whatever he does to me I can never bear the feeling of seeing him without his consciousness. However bad I become, however my wish would be to destroy him I just cannot get myself to see that sight. I did not want to go in but the magnet of love was forcing me in. I peeped in. I saw the drip running down Neil's veins. I was the only name that had the right to run through his veins, the sight of him lying their, his face dead pale and the saline water flourishing his body with water. I could not stop my feet from doing what it did next. I just ran to my oasis. Ran like I never had. I went to my love.I slept beside him I snuggled closer to his heart. I felt instance peace. That smell of his. It was again doing its magic. His musty, masculine scent and his perfume was again dragging me to a world I loved but did not want to go. I rubbed my nose against his heart. I even raised my face to kiss his cheeks and rubbed mine with his face. I wanted to feel him again. I wanted to be the old Avneil. I wanted to relive us again. I sniffled a little. It was then that I understood one thing clearly"life is nothing if it does not have Neil in it". I loved the word "Neil". It makes me feel like I can feel the deep down waters of the ocean. The mystic heavenly feeling it ushers in. It is a synonym for love in my life. Love which is so deep that it can never be uprooted from my heart. I listened to those heart beats intently. It made the most soothing sound. It told me that I am still alive. The very moment this stops. Avni also dies that moment. Her life is incomplete without these beats and I have never learnt to keep anything incomplete so I would better die. It gave me shivers. Today listening to the most soothing music of my life I could connect to the actual chamber of my heart which contains the love I have for that one person. It was so intense like I worshipped him. I shuddered at gaining knowledge of this love. Never knew that love could be so deep that it gets difficult to reach it. Never knew love could be so well guarded like some precious emerald deep down the seas. Never knew love was so vast that it could cover oceans. But most importantly never knew I could love someone to this extent. I had fallen so bad that ditching him was a far sighted thought but something had to be done. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt some movement underneath. I looked up to see Neil's gorgeous soft brown eyes looking at me. They were a little watery and thus gave a delicate caramel shade. I got lost in them. They were depicting utmost softness. They were showing so much of tenderness like I was made of glass. They also had other emotions like pain, very little hope, guilt. His love for me predominated on them. I knew that he could never look at someone the same way he looked at me. I could not control myself. I just hugged him and dug my face at the crook of his neck. I felt his arms cover me into his warm embrace. I was crying like a baby. I clung on to him and just moved close. His shirt even stuck on to my mouth because of my cries. I felt his hand caressing my head as if they were feeling my hair. HE kissed my forehead. I got up now. I left his embrace and rubbed the tears off my cheek from the back of my hand. Neil was going to say something but I put my hand on his forehead. I had felt it to be a little warm. I joined our foreheads to see whether he was having very high fever or not. He was silenced while I just got a little worried. I knew my plans could be given thought at night when I would be sleeping for the world but in reality sleep is something far for me so night time could be planning time. Right now Neil needed to be cared for. I went and brought the thermometer and placed it in his mouth. I knew he was trying to speak but I quietened him before he spoke. Well I brought it out 101. I thought of cooking some stew and also give him a cold water wrap to reduce his temperature. I was really angry on this man. He did not have anything to eat and why was that so?? Mad Mr Khanna.

This was going to be a long night and I knew about that after all the devil of my life was sick and my misfortune was that I was so madly in love with this beast that I had to be his beauty and make him fit and fine with care and affection.

SO hello everyone. Well this soft Avni is now chant ghanto ka mehman. She is get set to burn her own house well even if it means that she has to put an end to her own self too but she is not the typical Indian bahu who would bear everything silently. She has the seed of feminism after all meri hi toh protagonist hai she cannot be lady in damsel.

Thank you for the lovely comments in the last chapter.Just keep filling my notifications with them it gives me soooooooooooooooooooooooo much pleasure. The number of O's I have typed is for real. So do vote and comment below.