Kirito's phone started ringing and he stretched his arms towards it. Before he could answer the phone, it hung up. It was Vivian's call. He had 15 missed calls by her.He rubbed his eyes and got up from the bed. His head was hurting and he pressed his temples "I think I drank too much at the restaurant. Fuck, I forgot to go home."

He turned back and looked at Erika sleeping beside him. Then, he looked at his phone. It was 15 minutes past two in the morning. He got up and started dressing up. He fixed his hair and washed his face. He left Erika's place and ran towards his car. He started the car's engine and drove back home.

When he opened the door of the apartment, he noticed that it had not been locked.
"She hasn't locked the door yet? How irresponsible. Well, as if anyone would come here." He mumbled as he got in and locked the door.

He removed his coat while moving into the hall. The lights were still up. He got inside the dining room and found Vivian sitting on the chair, with her legs crossed. She was solving a puzzle with a coffee mug in her hands. He stared at her for a while.

"Vivian"
She looked up and smiled "Oh Hiomi, you're back. Welcome back home" She got up from the chair.
"Why aren't you asleep yet?" He asked.

"Well, I needed to cook you something. You've worked hard the whole day so you deserve some good food."
"I already ate. I'm tired-- I'm gonna sleep. You should sleep too." He walked towards the bedroom.

"Uh--I can cook you something light! Let's eat together."
"Goodnight"
She turned back and stared at all the ingredients she had prepared. The chopped vegetables, various kinds of oil and aromas.

"Well, I'll just cook these for breakfast" She kept the coffee cup into the sink and walked towards the bedroom. Kirito was fast asleep. She walked towards him and looked at him. She covered him with the blanket.

"Good work out there" She smiled.
Then, she got up and walked towards the sofa. She lay on the sofa and closed her eyes.

Like always, she didn't realize when she fell asleep and when morning hit.
"For the last time-- wake up!" Kirito shouted as he stood before her.

Vivian groaned and looked up at him. The morning sunlight was blinding. "Hiomi," She got up. She felt dizzy and hot.
"You didn't cook me breakfast"
"What time is it?"
"It's eight already."
"I'll just-"

"Nevermind. I'll go to work empty stomach."
"You can't skip breakfast!"
"Well, thanks to some lazy thot, I'll just skip it now"
"I'll pack you a bento--"

"I'll eat from the cafeteria." He wore his watch and looked down at her.
"Hey, don't you get tired of being such a disappointment everytime?" Vivian looked at the floor.

"I'll leave" He said and she heard the door shut.
"I made him angry again. And now he hates me. My head hurts..."
She heard the doorbell ring.

"Yeah wait a minute!" She ran towards the door. Aoi stood at the door. "Why are you here?"

"Well- Good morning?!" He shouted.
"Yeah yeah. Moin. What do you want?" She asked.
"Dad gave this to you" Aoi gave a small box to her.
"What is this?" She asked as she opened the box.

"It's our family crest. He wants you to wear this at all times as a sign of luck and prosperity." Aoi said. She took a small hair piece from the box. "It's beautiful. Say thanks to him from my side"

"Yeah whatever. I'll go now. I need to go to college"
"Did you have breakfast yet?"
"No, I'll go have it now."
"I'll cook you something"
"Can you cook?"

She started laughing and turned on the stove. She poured in the oil into the pan and started cooking. Aoi sat on the chair with his face resting upon his hands over the dining table. After a while, she brought a plate of Tortellini. Aoi looked at it and asked what it was.

"It's called Tortellini. It's ring shaped pasta. Italian cuisine"
"Oh" Aoi picked up the fork. He munched it for a while "It's good. It's actually so good"

"Unexpected right? I'll cook it for you whenever you want me to" Vivian smiled as she sat in front of him, on the other side of the table.

Aoi blushed then looked at his food "I want a wife just like you. Who can cook me good food everyday"
"I think I know a better idea. Just wish to find someone who'll love you unconditionally. Other things become secondary when we have love in our hearts. A heart that isn't loved will be left alone, lonely and sad."

Aoi looked at her and she looked back into his eyes.

"Vivian-"
"You should go now, you must be getting late"
"No, I'm not."

"Master Aoi!" Suddenly someone shouted from outside and walked into the apartment.
"Go away, Tachibana!" Aoi shouted at his manager but Tachibana picked him up on his shoulder and ran outside the door.

"You're a jerk!" Aoi shouted.
"Correction-- A hired jerk" Tachibana shot back.
"Fuck you!"
"Now's not the time to get intimate."
"I didn't mean literally!"

Vivian smiled and waved at them from the balcony. Aoi turned back and waved back at her. She seemed shocked and gave out a chuckle. He looked at her and smiled.

"Get inside!" Tachibana shouted as he opened the car's door.
"Do you have patience?!"

Vivian turned back and walked to the kitchen. She did the dishes and started cleaning the floor next. She was sweating a lot and felt dizzy. She stopped amidst cleaning and sat on the floor. She felt tired.

'Hey, don't you get tired of being such a disappointment everytime?'

"I am so tired. I'm so desperately and I hate this me. Was I always like that?" She said to herself. She got up while holding the table beside her. She walked but suddenly everything turned dizzy, then black. She don't know what happened after that.

She had a dream. Kirito was smiling. They held hands and he was happy. He was so happy with another woman while she stood afar and looked at them.

"Kirito, don't leave me! I'll listen to whatever you have to say-- Please don't go!" She ran towards him and pushed the other woman away. She clenched his shoulders "Why is every woman but me okay? I love you more than anyone else, Kirito! Chose me every time, even in our dreams-- Chose me. Why can't it be me?" She began crying. He looked at her as she fell on his feet, weeping her eyes out.

That was dream she had in her head while Kirito sat beside her. A tear drop fell down her eye as she slept. He stared at her and wiped her tears.

"She's overworked and sleep deprived. Looks like she hasn't been eating and resting properly. " The doctor's words resounded into his head. He moved his fingers through her hair "Why don't you understand?" He mumbled to the sleeping Vivian.

"I don't want you to look me like that. Because I know I'll get soft eventually though I can accept you because of my weakness. I don't feel like apologising. Truth is, I hate you because you have things that I don't have. I'm sorry I don't love you. I can't. I like someone else and you're just getting between us now like a bitch you are."

He got up from the chair and went towards the fridge. Vivian opened her dewy eyes 'This is probably a sign that I should stop trying. But can I?' She thought and clenched her eyes and bit her eyes.

As Kirito opened the refrigerator's door, he found it filled with various French dishes. A hanging note was present everywhere.

"Eat this with salt"
"When you're tired- this is best"
"In case you're too hungry, try this"
"This will bring up your mood!! "

'She made all this?' He thought as he took the note stuck at the centre. It read "I know you hate me, but love your health! The world needs your looks!"

He narrowed his eyes as he looked at it then crushed it and threw it away.
"The world needs my looks-- Fuck yes,  it does. Looks matter after all." He took a can of beer from the fridge and walked towards the bed.

Vivian was still asleep on the bed. He stood in front of her "I don't need your food. I'd rather keep myself a cook if I were such a fan of food." He coldly glared at her. "Stop reaching out for me, our paths are different."

He took another sip of the beer.

"Nothing good has ever come because of you. Your mere existence is a nuisance for me." His face turned red from all the alcohol. He got up and threw the can on the floor.

"You know what-- Fuck everything! Why do you like me-- If you're so desperate then any man should do, right?! Why do people always chose me?!" He shouted.

She was still pretending to be sleeping but she was listening. He grabbed her hand. That almost took her breath away. "Ugly hands" He dropped them but she held his hand. He looked at her. She was looking at him.

"I'm not desperate for a man. I'm desperate for you. Any man won't do," She got up and looked into his eyes "I want you. Even though it's impossible but just saying it feels good."

"Then, that much should be enough for you." He smirked.
"It is. Just having you beside me, with your hand in mine... I have my entire world into my arms. I want you feel that feeling."

He pulled his hand away from her "You say some epic bullshit sometimes."
"It isn't bullshit."
"I don't like it so shut up. I decide what I want to talk about or if at all I want to talk. Also, I don't want you." He got up and slammed the bedroom's door.

She fell on the bed again and closed her eyes "Well, if not him-- At least I have his scent" She muffled her face into the pillow. Her eyes seemed dead. She wanted to be happy but that seemed so difficult.

Slowly, dawn took over. Vivian slowly opened her eyes and looked aside. Kirito was sleeping on a chair, with his head pressed on the bed. The dim morning light penetrated through the window.

"Hiomi..." She got up. Then she looked at the beer cans laying on the floor.
"So, you've started drinking... Welcome to the German club!" She jumped out of the bed and changed.
Kirito woke up by the smell of food.

"Oh! Moin, Hiomi. I cooked you something good. Why don't you freshen up and have something" She offered as Kirito stood at kitchen partition. He nodded his head and grabbed his towel.

No rooms had any door in the apartment. As one walked inside from the maindoor, they would enter the living room, which had a huge double sofa set, one on which Vivian slept. A little away, on the left was a modular kitchen, on the right was the bedroom and right in front was the changing room which further opened into the bathroom.

Kirito pressed his temples while Vivian gave him a banana and some nuts.
"It'll help you get rid of your hangover"
"Is this a joke?" He looked at the banana.
"It isn't that small. Don't compare it to your--"
"I didn't mean that, fuck!"

Vivian laughed "You aren't a regular drinker, are you?"
"I don't drink" He replied, coldly.
"Then why did you drink yesterday?"
"I drink when I'm sad. It's just painful to be with you when I don't want to." He walked to the bathroom.

Vivian stood there as if she was frozen under some spell.
'You hate me just like my heart
Because I can't hate you, Kirito
I love you so much.'

Kirito got out of the bathroom while buttoning his shirt. Vivian stood near the dining table. He ignored her and went to the bedroom. He dressed his hair, wore his shoes, picked up his coat and phone and texted while walking.

"I'm leaving" He turned towards the door when he felt a tug on his shirt. Vivian held his shirt and stood behind him.

"What?" He asked.
She stood at her toes and pulled his head down. As the light summer wind stroked his forehead, so did Vivian's warm lips that seemed to melt that headache. She moved away and smiled.

He brushed his forehead with his hands  "You disgust me" He said and left the apartment. Vivian smiled and got back to work.

"Maybe, he doesn't mean all that from his heart. Deep down, he's a really nice person. Plus, he's hurting over something in past I think-- I should be kind. But what should I do to make him love me?"

Suddenly, an amazing idea hit her head. Looks matter- don't they? She just needed to change the way she looked!

She stood in front of the mirror and looked at her hair. 'Would he like them shorter?' She thought as she looked at her braided, knee length, light pink- blonde hair.

With hesitation, she picked up the scissors and one of her braids. She felt like what she was doing was the right thing but at the same time it all felt so wrong.

'Time seems so heavy. Can't I just travel back in time and reset everything. That moment when you asked if I wanted to marry you... I would say no and then I won't make you suffer like this. I won't have to make you apologise to a petty woman like me.'

She looked at her hair one last time.

'They flow down like a pink spring of water lilies. Why do I have to sacrifice a part of me to make myself worthy of what I've earned?' She took a deep breath to let go all the thoughts. She brought the scissor blades between the thick strands of her hair.

"It might not change anything-- But I won't regret trying."

And off went the blades with the most deadliest sound.

- To be continued

Makiri Erika
My Heart Hates Me