Ethan stood on the balcony, sipping on his bear as Vivian slept on the bed. "I feel empty," He turned towards her sleeping face.

"Vivian, look at me too..." He stood inside the balcony, separated by an invisible wall Vivian seemed to form even as she slept. He couldn't approach her anymore. He turned back towards the balcony.
"I knew it would happen. Show biz has never made anyone happy except the bystanders. They call this entertainment? This isn't entertainment. I am not entertained. Not one bit." He continued drinking.

Next morning, Ethan woke up with a bad hangover. Vivian wasn't there. The dishes weren't done, the food wasn't made.
"Maybe she left in a hurry, I wonder if she ate."
He got up and took a bath. The pitter-patter of the water drops on the bathroom floor was the only sound he could hear. He came out of the bathroom and walked on the carpet to the bedroom.

He wore his shirt and looked at Vivian's clothes. He stared at them for some time and then closed the cupboard. He prepared some toasts and coffee. He ate half of it and drank some coffee while looking at the news. The Internet was filled with the advertisements of Vivian's Debut album. People were really excited for it to come out. Ethan looked at the comments which went from talent to visuals. He closed the tab and took a deep breath.

As he drove through the streets, huge billboards had her pictures. She was everywhere yet not near him. He didn't want people to look at her. He didn't want her to look at people. But his wishes meant nothing to her anymore. She was free.

He reached his office and met his father on his way.
"Oh! Kirito! My son!" Mr Hiomi said as he walked beside him "I saw Vivian! She looked so good! She's an idol now? Why was I so unaware-" "Not now, Dad," Ethan walked away. Mr Hiomi stared at him until he dropped out of sight. He entered his office and locked the door. He looked at his phone-

"Sorry sir, I've caught a cold. I will be on a leave for a few days - Sora" He threw it on the table beside him and looked at the pile of files ahead of him. He pressed his body on the door and slowly slid down. "Work. Money. And work again" He said.
He sat on the chair and opened the files. His eyes seemed tired and he yawned as he looked into the files.

'It's our anniversary today... but she seems more excited about her debut. Well, I shouldn't disturb a busy person'

The debut went on air at noon. Vivian was scheduled to have a party at Mr Sejok's place that night. It was important for her to socially interact with important people now that she was moving towards stardom too.

Ethan brought home a cake. He rung up Vivian's phone. She picked it up on the third call "Vivian--"
"I'm busy, Ethan. Can I call back an hour later?"
"Okay."

It was eight in the evening. He kept his phone in his hands and looked at the cake. The clock ticked and like always, that was the only sound he could hear in that huge house. He felt isolated and lonely. But he knew she would call. She must have been excited for their first anniversary.

It was midnight. He sat just like that, staring at the cake and checking his phone again and again. He called her again and she picked up "Vivian"
"Oh! I forgot to call! Sorry, Ethan. So, what was it?" She asked. It was midnight. The day was officially over. It was the next day, it was not their anniversary anymore.

"How was your debut?" He asked.
"Didn't you see the premiere? It was lit! People seem to love me!" She said, happily. Ethan smiled "That's nice"
"Is that all?"
"Are you busy?"
"No, I just wanted to sleep. I need to get up at four tomorrow morning-- Oh! I mean today"

"Okay. Goodn--"
She hung up. He kept his phone aside and looked at the cake. Fate stood outside the window and stared at him. "That's why an angel's is better, or so I thought..."

People all across the country were listening to the new album- 'Love Is Such a Cliché'- One of the happiest albums ever released by Saturday Weekend. Even the songs with sad lyrics had a piece of happy music. It represented the artist well since Vivian was supposed to represent happiness and smile at all times to make people around her happier. That was suddenly another job she had, apart from being an idol and an inspiration to others.

It spread like a fever all across the country and then across the globe! Vivian's talent was well recognised and appreciated so it wasn't long that she became popular among young adults and teenagers. Everyone was singing her songs. There was a German fever all across the globe. A German girl who came from nothing suddenly had everything under her feet. But was she really happy? Well, she must be since you know, she had money and fame and she was popular. That's everything every creature in the 6000 years old human civilisation ever dared to dream.

"Today, we have with us- The most popular German woman who has won millions of hearts with her angelic voice. Please welcome- Vivian Garnette!" The hosts said and Vivian walked on the show set. She was wearing a formal pink gown and her golden choker shone under the incandescent lights.

People started asking questions which went deeper than what she was comfortable with. A normal person would simply say that they are not comfortable but she was an idol. She wasn't a normal person. She was breathing money so she must be open about everything. Her life must be a book which everyone can read and judge. Everyone had opinions about her, whether they knew her or not.

"Have you ever considered getting a nose job?"
"... No, why would I do that?" Vivian laughed. She was offended but she just laughed it out.
"I think I'm pretty enough to not do surgeries for now. I don't need beauty surgeries" She answered politely.

Everything she said became a topic of conversation.

"I'm pretty sure that 90% of your "beauty" can be removed by kleenex, you fud!"
"She sounds so damn cocky! This German piece of trash!"

"She sounds so confident!"
"She looks the best among all celebrities! Then again, different opinions"

"I hate her so much!"

"I like her so much!"

"I bet she's faking"
"I bet she's an angel even in real life!"

Questions drifted towards her marriage.
She refused to tell who she was married to-- That would surely bring discomfort to Ethan as their apartment would be surrounded by paparazzi. To avoid this, she stopped coming home. She purchased an apartment elsewhere and started living there. If the guards weren't careful, people would jump on the stage and hug her out of a sudden-- People she never knew.

She couldn't be rude as that would bring more hate.
The tickets to her shows were sold out as soon as they came in the market. All shows were sold, all her live, radio and acoustic programmes went hits and remained on top charts for weeks! Her singing style was happy and fresh and her lyrics were felt by everyone, equally. She sang with her heart. She gave her best in every performance. Even her haters knew what was coming for them.

As her popularity grew, her clothes turned more bright and revealing. Her scheduled packed furthermore. If only they could have more than 24 hours with them. Nobody but her noticed, that her voice was changing. It was becoming hoarse and tired with the passing of the days. It became difficult to sing in a higher belt. Until she finally couldn't use her head voice the way she wanted to.

(Vocal Belting is a specific technique of singing by which a singer mixes in the proper proportions, their lower and upper resonances; resulting in a sound that resembles yelling but is actually a controlled, sustained phonation. Any kind of squeezing, pushing, forcing, yelling, and extreme nasality in belting can lead to both musical and vocal health problems over time.

A high C5 in full, balanced voice is referred to as "head voice")

But nevertheless, she was mostly seen happy in magazines, TV shows, advertisements, newspapers and red carpets. The more regularly she appeared on the TV, the more distant she seemed from herself. But even when she was busy, she'd run away and come to meet Ethan. This gave him a tiny bit of momentary happiness. She'd cook for him and everything seemed transiently normal. At least she was there-- Even if only for a moment.

But it wouldn't last. She would get a call from her manager and leave immediately. Every time she came to him, she looked more exhausted and her voice would be deeper. She'd clear her throat a lot. But she still smiled for everyone and for him.

"Do you have a bad throat?" Ethan asked.
"It seems like that," She she touched her neck "But I have a show today so I can't take a break. It's okay, I'll take some medicine"
"You should take a break. You've been singing continuously, every day. Your vocal chords are tired"

"Yeah, maybe. I've signed this one year contract so I can't go on a break before one year"
"It's draining you," She looked at her feet "I... Nevermind," He stopped himself to prevent any argument. She laughed. Her visits were limited to once a week. And even when she was with him, she'd practice. She would disappear and reappear making him uncertain if he should keep his hopes up or just drop them.

Until one day, she stopped coming back home.

- To be continued

My Heart Hates Me
Because I Love You