"God damn it." I said, sitting up in my bed. My hair clung to my face as I focused on the room. It was still dark out. The moonlight hit the mattress leaving shadows of the tree branches on my wall. The plain grey wall. With nothing but a dresser against it. That wall was just like the other wall. On and so forth. I was clenching to my sheets, breathing slow. As if breathing hard would break my ribs. I got out of the mess of sheets and went to the bathroom. The florescent lightly sizzles my eyes as they tried to look into the mirror. The huge thing standing there was myself. Hair nappy laying on my back and my face, a pale tone. Almost yellow, the piercings were slightly shiny and my grimace made it all one complete failure of a handsome man. Sure, I had the muscle, the power in my fists, but I just felt like..I could have looked better. Especially right now. With the bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and the droopy eyes from the abrupt awakening.
Without a second to go by I splashed my face, sighed, stood at the doorway for a moment. Before switching the light off and climbing into bed once more. I lay there, thinking. What else was there to do, then to think. To think about her. L E V Y M C G A R D E N. The name i spelt in my head for hours at a time. The nap did dances around my tongue as I slightly mouthed the name as well. This one girl. This shrimp, everything about her wrapped me in a tight rope. What was so crazy to me was that I. The grossed man in the town has the pleasure of being her best friend. Her partner. She was the tiniest thing I had ever seen. How I wanted to ball her up right next to m-
"Goddammit." I repeated grunting. Sighing I shifted my position and clamped my eyes shut to fall asleep again.

Walking to the guild only took me about 15 minuets, an extra 10 to get something to eat. So I stand here at a side cafe truck waiting my turn to order since I wanted today to run errands. Pay my bills, adult shit. Until then I needed a egg and avocado wrap burrito to get my head in the game.
"Next please?" The register said. As I walked forward I noticed a banana muffin on display for very cheap cost. It had a design of a monkey on the top. Like a cupcake. Like something Levy would love to try, she really loved trying different foods.
I picked up the muffin and placed it in front of the employee and made my order. Pulling out some money I waited impatiently for the food.
"Have a nice day sir." Handing me my bag I gave a nod and proceeded to the guild. Where I knew her cute ass would be.

When I reached the guild I immediately knew she wasn't inside. Instead, I felt her presence very close. Getting closer...
"BOO!" I felt a hand slap my shoulder and a small figure jumping to the side.
She looked absolutely amazing today. As per usual. Her electric blue hair wild in a ponytail. And her eyes shining up at me. My heart always sprung whenever I looked at her. She frowned and then slapped me again.
"You didn't even flinch?!" She said.
"Nice to see you shrimp. Maybe next time don't wear the same perfume." Lie. I always knew where she was from a certain distance. No matter what she smelled like. She giggled.
"Happy to see you too Gajeel. I missed you while you were away on your mission. You should have told me you came back last night. I would have gotten you at the station."
"No need, it was super late and I know you needed to sleep off the hours you spend reading." She blushed. Cause she knew it was true, there had been some times where my presence at her house was nessasary. As a protector she has needed it for different times and I know her routine pretty well.
"Have you eaten today yet?" I asked holding the bag at my side. She perks an eyebrow up.
"I was just gonna chug some coffee in the guild."
"Well, here." I akwardly got the muffin out and held it before her. She was still at first but then relaxed.
"What a gentlemen" she took the muffin. I shoved the gesture off with a scuff and we walked into the guild"
Today was a Tuesday, meaning most of the guild was in the middle of there quest. Most booths were empty with dim music seasoning the silence. It was kinda nice when it was quiet, but also eerie. Cause some people could be here, and then not the next day. It's what I fear for the little fairy like girl walking up to the mission chart. Wearing the cutest romper. Modest, but sweet. So so sweet. I closed my eyes and regained composure before walking up to her.
"See anything?" I asked her.
"Mmm. Not really anything is pulling at me. I was just hoping today to wash my bike and clean my home. What about you Gajeel?"
"I have things to do to."
"Hm."
I looked down at her, her eyes were looking into mine. It was vulgar so I looked to the side.
"You should come over later. After you get things done. I'll make it up for the muffin." She giggled. The gesture immediately pulled an imagine in my head about how I could kiss her....I could kiss her in the comfort of hanging out...ugh.
"Yeah. I would like that shrimp." I managed to say.
"Well, I'll be on my way. See ya later." She lightly touched my forearm as she passed by. I let a smile release. A relief of all the intense thoughts.
I ordered a coffee at the bar since it was the cheapest in Magnolia. And headed out to the store.
At the store while I made my usual rounds getting the usual:
•avocados
•bread
•tomatoes
•laundry detergent
•paper towels
•ect

Lunging the cart around the store I abruptly stopped. Turned my head to see a section of bouquets, roses, tulips, dandelions. My heart wanted to buy every single one and put each one in levy's hair. A gay ass thought but a nice one. My stretched my arm to get some sunflowers when I stopped. This wasn't some kind of date. It was far from that, very far from something like that. It was just gonna be us eating spaghetti and looking through her old high school year books. Like the usual from the past couple of times I had time to see her at her house. I trudged forward with the things I needed for the next week. Checked out and headed home.
There I shoved all the food in the cabinets or fridge and took at seat at the table in the corner to look over the previous mail. Peeling every inch of cent off me I put the paid bills in my mailbox outside of my apartment and sat back down. I sat there for only a second before the sunflowers came back into my head.

"Oh GAJEEL! They are so beautiful. Thankyou. You deserve a kiss."

The line processed though my head before I got up.
"YOU FUCKER. STOP!" I yelled out. I grunted and stood there for another moment breathing hard. I couldn't look at her right now. How could I. Without being a complete retard.
I grabbed my phone and texted Levy.

'I'm taking a mission out to Dargon. Sorry it's so last minute. Bills are tight.'

.....

"Too bad :\\\ I was looking forward to tonight. I'll see you soon I hope! ^_^'

....
"Fuck you Levy Mcgarden" I said. Tossing my phone on the couch I went into my room and crashed on the mattress and shut off the world. I wasn't taking a mission. I was taking a break from her. From having to hurt myself facing the fact that I've fallen in love with Levy.
I sit on my couch most of that day. Watching movies about homicide and gore, strictly nothing romantic, nothing with blue hair, nothing with shrimp. I massaged my finger on one of the remote control buttons when my phone buzzed. A notification from the guild.

COME DOWN TONIGHT FOR A SHOWDOWN PREMIERE OF THE GREAT FARO. TONIGHT AT 9. COME WITH A DATE!

I ached a little because everyone got this stupid fucking message. Meaning Levy got it too. So did her best friend Lucy, meaning. Levy wouldn't miss this for the world. For someone who was so introverted she loved going to events and laughing at the good things around her. Something I never had the desire to do. To be someone who could smile and be so pleased at the world. Fuck the world, and fuck this event.
Then it hit me. BRING A DATE. I'm not stupid to realize almost everyone thinks Levy Is cute, and sweet. No matter how you come at her, she was always listening. She was gentle with her words. Even with me who spoke in insults and bluntness. I hated being that guy. I hated myself, I hated the fact tons of men will watch levy sit in a both alone. And waltz her away. I wanted to crush my phone in my palm. I wanted to dance with her...I wanted that, but I know I can't have that. I can't burden her with my wrecked soul. I just needed to make sure she was safe.
Checking the time and it was 5:30, enough time for me to work out, let my anxiety out and take a shower and head out. Being able to punch the bag chained on my ceiling was torn and beat down, my seventh one in five months. A waste of money for sure, but better then how my father took out his anger. I never want to turn out like him, maybe that's why I'm so terrified of this feeling, cause I can't control it, it's intoxicating.
"Why do I feel like this?!" I yelled giving the bag a punch at the side.
"love is so stupid!" Again I punched.
"I CAN'T CONTROL IT!" I slammed my fists into the bag over and over till the chain bag out and the bag fell at my feet. Pathetic. I could have gone a lot longer but I realized i would hardly make it if I didn't hope in the shower now.
The water was cold as fuck cause of my dickwade neighbor Alisha who used all the warm water, but I never gave it much thought. A lot more cause go wrong with my life. I get out of the shower and put on my usual attire which was leathery studdy black clothes with blocky boots. And headed out the door.

The guild was packed, no secret that it's at its busiest at night, bar fights, celebrated victories, and events such as this. This dumb ass show down, I watched from a roof looking down on stealth, was the easiest thing to do was to be unseen. I knew levy wasn't here yet cause I haven't sensed her yet.
About ten minuets later I felt the familiar tingle across my neck, I then heard her voice.
"lucy! You know I hate not wearing a head band." I saw her behind Lucy, looking like an angel, her hair was placed around her face with bangs that needed to be cut. Her hair looked incredibly soft.
"But look at you Levy! Put your bangs to the side like mine, now let's go inside, Natsu has a really good spot."
Lucy hurried inside, but Levy remained outside, she was still standing there, then she looked at my way. Holding my breath I waited to breath when she turned her head and kicked at the gravel before going inside. I hate that she knew that watching feeling, this wouldn't be the first time I've watched her, out of anyone to make my mark of my power I used her, knocked her out cold and pinned her on a tree in city hall. For everyone to see. It's been 2 years since then, but I know she doesn't forget about it. I haven't either, the worst mistake I ever made. I jumped the guild roof and found a tiny spot to rest and see through a window. Levy sat fairly close to the window.
I watched her every move, I wanted the men around her, eyeing her when she laughed and smiled at the Sargon bitch cracking jokes to the crowd. He began to sing a slow song. Like that she sat back and watched the people dancing. She sat gracefully till she noticed a man approach her.
"You need company?" He smiled at her, "mind if I sit?" Yes you fucker go away I thought. She smiled.
"Of course."
"I'm siren."
"Levy Mcgarden."
"Pretty name. "
"Thank you. "
"You here with anyone?" He asked. Levy shrugged.
"No."
"Do you want someone to be? " she thought for a moment. She didn't reply though. He senses that.
"Would you like to dance with me?" He asked. He was also graceful looking, was lean and tall, not some buff werewolf like me.
"I would love to dance." She said. The words hurt, like a punch. She got up and was lead to the dance floor.
No, no, no. I felt uncomfortable, I came to make sure she was safe, not to watch her lifted of her feet by prince charming. I felt weird watching her, it felt as wrong. I was out of place, better yet I was out of my mind.

I flung myself off the roof and roof jumped all the way to my lonely life.