After Sirius and Mary broke up for the, honestly Remus lost count after the 10th time, and stayed apart for a month, Remus thought he finally had his chance. He and Sirius had spent everyday together since, and Remus thought things were moving along quite nicely. Once Lily gave him a final pep talk, he decided to finally make his move.

"Do you want to go out with me tomorrow?," Remus asked, carding his fingers through Sirius's hair.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"It's a date?," Remus clarified.

"It's a date Moons," Sirius agreed, snuggling into his chest, thinking nothing of the phrasing.

Clearly Remus hadn't been clear enough with his intentions because when he came to pick Sirius up after his work meeting, flowers in hand, he saw him snogging Mary through their window. He looked at the roses thrown on their table and compared them to the wildflower bouquet Remus had picked up. Sirius hated roses, they reminded him of home.

Remus couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't play these games and keep coming in second place in a competition he didn't want to participate in. Leaving the flowers in the bushes, he went to the back of the house and let himself in through his window. Sitting on his bed, he booked the next train ticket to Wales before changing out of his clothes. He laughed at himself in the mirror for his foolishness, thinking about how long he and Lily had been on FaceTime the night before picking out his outfit.

He packed as quietly and efficiently as he could.

Remus stopped dead in his tracks as he heard Mary's laughter coming up the stairs. He froze as footsteps paused near his door and the smacking of lips almost made him sick then and there.

"We have to be quick, I'm supposed to go out with Remus after his meeting today."

"Tell him something came up."

"I don't-"

"I'll do it then."

Remus silenced his phone just in time for the text to come through.

Sirius: hey, something came up tonight. Rain check? 😁

Remus wondered how many other times Mary had done this to him. Sirius hated emojis, so Remus assumed any time he received one that it was Mary.

"Come on Sirius, let's go back to mine before he gets home. You know, it could still be ours. My lease is up for renewal..."

Remus stopped listening after that until the closing of the front door alerted him that he was finally alone. At least he didn't have to sneak his bags back out the window. He remained hidden from view until he watched the car pull away.

After that, he packed everything else he would need for a longer stay in Wales. It ended up being practically his whole room except for his books and anything Sirius had gifted him. His ride to the train station came shortly after that. Once he was on the train, he turned his phone off and stared out the window until he knew he was 30 minutes from his stop.

When his phone came back on, he had one message from Lily, a simple thumbs up emoji accompanied by a heart. That reminded him to stop sharing his location with all of his friends, especially Sirius. He didn't need anyone coming to bother him.

Taking a deep breath, he made the one phone call he had debated making at all.

"Hi mam."

"Cariad! How are you?"

"Can you pick me up from the station? I'll be there in half an hour. I'll talk to you then."

"Of course I can. Do I need to bring anything?," Hope asked, voice laced with concern.

"No, just a hug."

"I'll be on my way soon. I love you."

"I love you too mam."

Remus decided to leave his phone on but on silent for the rest of the night. Lily would text him again eventually and if he didn't answer she would surely report him as a missing person.

Seeing his mother once he got off the train made Remus's shoulders sag, and he felt like a little kid again. She opened her arms for him and she held him tightly, bearing his weight.

"Welcome home cariad."

"Thanks mam."

"What's the plan?"

"Can I stay in my old room tonight? Then I'll go to nain's cottage that she left me. I'm not sure how long my stay will be but any meetings I was supposed to have I can just hold online."

"You don't want to stay in the house?"

"Eventually, someone would come looking for me."

"Let's go to the car and you can tell me what happened."

Remus carried his bags and placed them in the backseat before getting into the car.

"I asked Sirius on a date, he said yes, I came home with flowers and he was snogging Mary," Remus rushed, wanting to get the whole retelling over with as quickly as possible.

"Did you talk to him?"

"What's there to talk about mam? I snuck in through my window, she took his phone to text me that he needed to reschedule, then they went back to her place so I came here."

"He hasn't tried to reach out again?"

"Not when he's di- otherwise occupied," Remus corrected, horrified at what he almost said to his mother. "He'll be staying the night there, they'll fight over something stupid, he'll come home to complain to me so I can console him and they'll be back together by dinner time. I'm done."

"You've been friends a long time cariad."

"He's been treating me this way for a long time mam. How will I ever be happy when I keep letting him do that to me? I don't know who I am without him anymore, and I need to find out."

"Okay. I won't tell anyone you're here."

"Thank you."

"Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"No. We were supposed to go out for dinner."

"I called in to order your favorite takeaway, I'll pick it up on the way home."

"Thanks mam, you're the best."

Once he got home, Remus ate, took a shower, and then collapsed into his childhood bed. He hoped Wales would do him some good and give him some much needed space. Remus had no idea what time he finally drifted off, but when he woke up it was to his phone rattling on his dresser. He declined the call without even looking before wincing at the number of missed messages from Lily.

Lily: How's it going Remus?

Lily: You haven't answered so I'm hoping it's going well ;)

Lily: I want to hear the details tomorrow morning over breakfast!

Lily: Why is your location off?

Lily: Remus why is Sirius at Mary's

Lily: Are you with him?

Lily: Remus I'm worried

Lily: Answer your phone!

Lily: At least tell me you're safe

Lily: Why are the flowers in the bushes?

Lily: You're not home and your drawers are empty...

Lily: Remus John Lupin you have 5 minutes before I call Black and demand to know what's going on.

That was four minutes ago.

Remus: I'm safe

Remus: I was asleep, I'm sorry

Remus: Don't bother with him

Lily: Remus THANK GOD

Lily: What happened?

Remus: I went to pick him up for our date and he was snogging Mary in the living room. I saw them through the window, they didn't see me. She took his phone and texted me that Sirius was busy, then they went back to hers so I just... left

Lily: I'm going to kill him

Remus: He's not worth it

Lily: Can I call you please?

Remus: I'm really not up to it

Lily: Where are you?

Remus: I don't want to say

Lily: Remus

Remus: I'm sorry Lily but I can't talk to you without you talking to James who will then talk to Sirius

Lily: I'm sorry you feel that way, I didn't know

Remus: I'll text you if I need you but please leave me be

Lily: You promise me you're safe?

Remus: I promise

Lily: You have somewhere to stay?

Remus: I do

Lily: You'll check in once a day?

Remus: Just like I did in grad school

Lily: Okay. I don't like it, but I'll accept it

Lily: I love you Re, take care of yourself

Remus: I will Lils, I love you too

With that, Remus turned his phone back off and went to sleep.

Sirius woke up the next morning blissfully unaware of what had transpired the night before, to his phone vibrating obnoxiously on the dresser next to him.

"Prongs."

"Why aren't you letting me inside? I forgot my key and no one is answering the door."

"I'm at Mary's."

"I'm sorry, it sounded like you just told me you're at Mary's," James replied with a strained laugh.

"I am. Just knock on Remus's window. He should be up by now."

"He's not in there."

"Maybe he's out with Lily?"

"He's not, I checked."

Sirius sat up with a frown, dislodging Mary's head from his shoulder.

"That's strange. Did you check his location? Maybe he's at the library."

"He's not sharing it with me anymore. Did he mention anything that I did to upset him? I haven't seen him in a week, is that it?"

"Hold on, I'll check... He's not sharing his location with me either. He always shares it. Maybe his phone died and that's why it shows he's not sharing anymore?"

"Have you heard from him at all?," James pressed, and Sirius could tell he was pacing now.

"He never responded to my message last night."

"Just come home Sirius."

"I'll be there soon."

"Is everything okay?," Mary asked, tracing patterns up and down Sirius's arm.

"Remus isn't answering anyone's messages."

"Maybe he finally took a hint then," she replied with a shrug.

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious that he's in love with you. He must have finally realized when you blew him off yesterday that you weren't interested."

"Why didn't you say anything?," Sirius asked slowly, watching Mary as she spoke.

"I assumed you always refused his advances and just had a boundaries problem. That's why I would take your phone and tell him you were busy because you were too afraid to hurt his feelings."

"I need to leave."

"I was hoping for a round two."

"I can't do this anymore Mary."

"If you think he'll give you another chance after you blew him off for your date last night, you're wrong. You've finally broken him, and that's why he's gone."

Sirius froze in the middle of putting his jeans back on. Remus had called it a date, but Sirius thought nothing of it.

"How do you know that?"

"I heard him on the phone yesterday while he was at the market. He bought you wildflowers of all things. You deserve better so I got you roses and beat him home. Here we are."

"We're through Mary, for good this time. I can't believe you would do that to him. To me."

"If you cared, you would have stopped me," she replied with another shrug. "You'll come back to me, you always do."

"Not this time."

Sirius took a few minutes to collect all of his things that he had left behind over the years before packing his car and speeding home.

"What did you do?," James asked with a frown as soon as Sirius got out of his car.

"What do you mean what did I do?"

"To Remus!"

"It's just natural that Mary and I got back together," Sirius argued, opening the door.

"Is it natural? How many times have Lily and I broken up."

"Well none but-"

"How many times have you and Remus ever fought?," James continued, voice beginning to raise as he examined the state of the house.

"This would be the second... but it wasn't even a fight if he just left."

"What happened?"

"Mary came over last night with flowers and... you know."

"And you blew off Remus again after he finally got the courage to ask you on a date. Why did you say yes if you didn't mean it?"

"I didn't know it was a date!"

"He clarified it twice."

"How do you know that?," Sirius asked, held titled in confusion as he replayed the conversation.

"Because I had to listen to him practice with Lily for days to make sure it got through your thick skull that he had romantic intentions."

"Well, it didn't work."

James brushed past Sirius and opened the door to Remus's room.

"You shouldn't be invading his privacy."

"You shouldn't keep stringing your best friend along and shagging your toxic ex but here we are."

"How am I stringing him along?!"

"You act like a couple in every single way minus the shagging part," James replied absentmindedly, opening and closing Remus's drawers. "Almost everything is gone."

"He left some clothes though."

"Yeah, everything that you gave him."

Sirius flinched at the observation but realized it was true. Anything he had given to Remus had been left behind, discarded. Even the sweater Remus loved and wore multiple times a week was hanging off the back of his chair. With a frown, Sirius ran his hand across the fabric. It was time to text Remus.

Sirius: Moony where are you?

Sirius was surprised that Remus answered within minutes.

Remus: Safe

Sirius: you didn't come home last night

Remus: Neither did you

Remus: I can't keep playing these games with you

Sirius: what games Remus?

Remus: I can't keep coming second place to Mary, even when you've "broken up"

Sirius: what do you mean? What games?

Remus: The game where you act like we're in a relationship but as soon as she comes back to you, you cast me aside. I'm only good to pick up your broken pieces and put them back together. Now, I need to pick up my own because I have no one to do that for me

Sirius: you have me. please come home so we can talk about it

Remus: I am home

With a frown, Sirius kept trying to call Remus but it went to voicemail.

Sirius: Moons please pick up the phone

Remus: There's no reason to. I think time apart will do us some good so that we can try to repair our friendship

Sirius: but I don't want to be friends with you!

Remus froze and stared at the message in shock. He waited one, two, three, minutes for another message, any message, and nothing came through.

Remus: fine. I'll send Lily to get my things by the end of the week so you can move Mary in then

Remus: goodbye Sirius, I hope you're happy

With tears streaming down his face, Remus blocked Sirius before collapsing on his bed.

James had been reading the messages over Sirius's shoulder and smacked Sirius upside the head at the last message he sent, making the phone fall. They wrestled for it, with James playing keep away with the phone.

"James give me back my phone!"

"Sirius, you're making this worse!"

"No, you're making it worse! You took my phone after I sent the worst possible message without context!"

"Fine, let me deal with it then."

It took another minute for Sirius to let go and give his phone to James.

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck!"

"James?"

"Call him on my phone."

"Why can't I use- James. Give me my phone," Sirius demanded, voice concerningly calm.

"Use mine."

They stared at each other before Sirius tackled James to the floor, once again wrestling his phone out of his hands.

"You made him block me!"

"Why the hell would you phrase it like that?! You told him you didn't want to be friends!"

"Because I realized I wanted to be more!"

"That's not how you go about telling someone something like that Sirius!"

"He hates me."

"I'm getting Lily."

"Give me your phone."

By the time Sirius got James's phone, it was too late.

Remus: Sorry James, you're being blocked too for the moment. I can't trust you to be on my side

"Lily, please tell me that Remus didn't block you too?," James begged over the phone, pulling on his hair.

"Where are you?"

"At their place."

"Come home and bring him with you."

"Okay... we're in it for now Sirius."

That was the understatement of the year. Lily had called Remus's mum and made her put him on the phone. Lily had assumed he was in Wales, and though Mrs. Lupin tried to protest, Lily begged and pleaded to be heard.

At the end, Hope let Remus make the decision, and he decided to call Lily on his phone. She made Remus send her screenshots of the conversation that had taken place and he heard her teeth clack together on the phone.

"He's dead. Both of them are dead. They're on their way here right now so we don't have long."

"I don't know what you want from me Lils."

"I want you to be okay Re."

"Then keep them away from me."

"He'll figure it out eventually, and I won't be able to stop him."

"Then hold him off as much as you can. I'm not telling you where I'm staying, I'm sorry. I'm only with mam temporarily."

"I'll tell you what I find out from them. I'm changing my password so that James can't get into my phone. I'm in your corner Remus, you have me," Lily promised.

"Okay."

"Lily!"

"I have to go Re, I'll let you know what I find out."

"I don't know if I want to know."

"I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding. I love you."

"Is that Remus? Moons please-"

The line promptly went dead.

"Lily what the fuck?!"

"Funny, that's the same question I was going to ask you Black."

"I want to talk to Remus."

"You don't deserve to talk to Remus."

"Lily," James said, warning evident in his tone.

"You're on thin ice too Potter," she snapped. "Remus will barely talk to me anymore because of you two."

"Let's talk about this calmly," James suggested, walking them all over to the couch. "Sirius you start, and Lily you can fill in the gaps as much as possible without betraying Remus's trust."

Sirius quickly recapped what had happened, then filled them both in on what Mary had said.

"I didn't know he felt like that, and she was so cruel about it. She did that to me on purpose and... I just let her. I didn't know it was a date date," Sirius protested weakly, the fight finally leaving him.

"If you knew, would you have accepted?"

"I... I don't know."

"Then why did you text Remus that you didn't want to be friends anymore?"

"I was going to say I wanted us to go back to what we were. I never realized what our relationship was like until he spelled it out like that. He wouldn't let me call so it was hard to articulate myself and I massively fucked it all up. It won't mean much but please tell him I'm sorry and that I never meant to hurt him. I'll leave if it means he'll just come back home."

"I won't let you talk to him until you've figured your feelings out because this isn't fair to Remus," Lily decided, arms crossed over her chest. "The things he's done for you over the years, holding out hope that you'd finally return his feelings and you do this and get back with Mary for the millionth time. How many times have James and I broken up?"

"Not you too, I already got this from him. Please help me, I don't want to lose Remus."

"You need to figure out what you want from him and what your own feelings towards him are first. You act like you're in love with him but if you're not, you need to figure that out sooner rather than later or else you'll have lost him forever."

"Then I need to find him."

"You'll do nothing of the sort today. You are blocking Mary, changing the locks to your place, buying Remus's whole book wish list, his favorite chocolate, and then you are going to sit down and write about how you feel towards him until you know whether or not you want to pursue a relationship. Is that clear?"

"Yes Lily."

"Good, now go. Both of you, get away from me so I can try to fix this. James, don't let him leave that room until he's done. I have work to do."

Lily: It was partial misunderstanding, partial stupidity

Remus: Just an average Thursday then isn't it?

Lily: Mary overheard you talking to me on the phone in the store and beat you home. Sirius says they're over, completely, for what she did to you

Remus: I think I've seen this film before

Lily: We'll rewrite the ending Remus

Lily: I'm eavesdropping outside the door, he told James that he brought home all of his things from Mary's

Remus: Do I want to ask what he's doing?

Lily: I told him that he needs to sort out what kind of relationship he wants with you before he just shows up outside of your house. He was ready to get in the car and come and find you (I've told him nothing about where you are)

Remus: I don't understand

Lily: He said that he never realized how far past friendship your relationship actually was until you spelled it out for him. Now he's working to figure out what he wants because he doesn't want to lose you, despite what he said

Remus: I don't understand what he meant to say

Lily: That he doesn't want to be JUST friends, he wants to go back to what you had. I've told him that's not possible yet

Lily: He told me to tell you that he's sorry and he never meant to hurt you, for what it's worth. He also said he would move out if it meant you would come home

Remus: I hate how I want to comfort him right now. What about me?

Lily: Turn your phone back off Remus, take care of yourself. Just know he recognizes that what he did was wrong, but you ARE ALLOWED TO BE HURT

Remus: I'm going for a walk, I'll be turning my phone off. If he tries to come find me, please let me know as soon as you can

Lily: I will, I promise

Remus had a lot to think about while he took a walk. It was nice, walking around the town he grew up in. The air was crisper, more clean, and it reminded him of his childhood. On his walk, he decided to spend another day with his mother before moving to the cottage. Lily would warn him before anything drastic happened. He had to have faith that everything would be okay.

When Remus came back, he accompanied his mother to the market to do some shopping. They dropped most of his things off at the cottage on the way home before Remus helped his mother prepare lunch.

"Are there any updates cariad?"

Remus filled her in on the updated situation all through lunch preparations and into the meal.

"I just don't know what he wants from me!"

"In his own way he does love you Remus. Maybe he didn't think he could have you in that way?"

"I asked him on a date and I clarified it was a date and he stood me up. I don't think I want to go through that again. I'm torn. Part of me wants to hurt him like he's hurt me but the other part knows how much he's suffered so I just want to leave him be."

"I know you cariad, and it's normal to think that, but I know you won't cause any harm. That's not who you are."

"I wish I wasn't the kind of person who took everything that was given to them," Remus replied with a heavy sigh.

"But you didn't Remus. You left."

"And that makes me a coward doesn't it?"

"You did what you needed to do to protect your peace. Go and read a book, I'll make you tea."

Remus did just that, reading book after book of his childhood favorites. That night he took another peaceful walk around town before bed, feeling better than he had in a few days. It was nice, being without his phone like this, and he resolved to do it more often.

The next morning, after breakfast with his mother, she drove him to the cottage. He could've walked, but she wanted to make sure he arrived safely and wasn't beating himself up too badly.

"I'll never turn down a walk along the coast," his mother chided. "Remember how we used to collect seashells to paint?"

They did just that, carrying an old bucket as they walked up and down the coast. Remus made them lunch afterwards, and then his mother was off back home after she made him promise to call nightly.

Remus painted the shells alone, music playing softly from his record player. It was long after dinner when he realized he should probably turn his phone back on and check in with Lily.

Lily: He stayed overnight and we're keeping him here for one more

Remus: Okay

Lily: You alright?

Remus: I will be, eventually

No one expected Sirius to sneak out in the middle of the night and catch a train to Wales. Remus said he was home, where else could he be?

He arrived in Wales just after 6 in the morning and was at a loss of what to do. Sirius decided to go to the Lupin's and sit on the porch until a more respectable hour. He hadn't remembered falling asleep.

"Sirius?," a gentle voice greeted him.

"Hi Hope, sorry about that. I didn't mean to crash on your porch."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for Remus. I asked him to come home and he said he was home, so I assumed..."

"You snuck out of James and Lily's?"

"It was the only way, they wouldn't let me leave until I figured everything out."

"And you think that one day was enough for that?," she questioned.

"I know that when I realized I chased him away it felt like my heart had been ripped out and that I lost the ability to breathe when he blocked me. If I don't have Remus, I've lost one of the only good things that I have in this world. I'm not letting Remus go, not without a fight. He's too important to me.

When he asked if it was a date I should have clarified again. He's so good Hope, I never thought that he could see past all of my broken parts and love me in that way. I thought all I deserved was the way Mary treated me. It's not an excuse, but she manipulated me. It worked, and I'm realizing I only thought our relationship worked because Remus gave me everything that I actually needed in a relationship, so I never noticed what was missing in the first place.

Remus always put me first. He's putting himself first now and... Am I going to ruin things by being here? Should I catch the next train home and pretend like I didn't even come to see him? I really am too impulsive and I don't think things through. There's a reason as to why Lily and James practically locked me in their house all weekend. I just-"

"Sirius," Hope interrupted, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you have to apologize to."

"Do you think he'll listen to me? Should I find him today?"

"You know Remus better than anyone else does. I think you know the answer, or you wouldn't be here."

"How do I find him?"

"Follow your heart, you'll know. Have some tea first."

For his part, Remus had had breakfast and was sitting on his back deck, playing guitar as he watched the waves crash onto the shore. He strummed aimlessly, re-tuning the guitar that hadn't been played in quite some time. Remus had never been so grateful for his angsty teen years giving him an outlet to pour his heart out into. He wasn't much for singing, but some lyrics were meant to be aggressively sung.

Once upon a time, Remus thought Sirius was it for him, but so much for his happy ending. Remus would have to write a new one, one most likely without the other man in it.

"You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending"

Sirius had listened to Hope, trusting his heart to bring him to Remus. He hadn't expected it to shatter into pieces when he heard the strumming of a guitar as he reached the coast.

After breakfast, Sirius had asked Hope to direct him towards the coast. He knew Remus loved the coast of Wales. If he wasn't here, Sirius would accept defeat and head home. Sirius could not, however, accept the fact that he made Remus hurt so much that he resorted to playing My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne.

"It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending"

Remus sighed, putting the guitar down and closing his eyes, knowing that Sirius was there.

"Why are you here?"

"I wasn't pretending, Remus. This is going to be so jumbled because I didn't really plan this but I need you Remus. Ever since I first met you, I knew that you would be special to me. We clicked in a way that I never thought would be possible for me. You know all about my past and not once have you judged me for it or thrown it back in my face. You had every right to do that when I inadvertently stood you up, but you didn't because you are so innately good Remus, and I love you for it.

Please believe me when I say that I didn't know you were asking me out, Moons. I never once thought that you would love me like that. I grew up listening to my parents tell me that no one would ever love me, so I settled for Mary because even though she would leave, she always came back. But she won't anymore. I took all of my stuff from her flat and the locks on our place were changed so she won't have access ever again.

I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I'm so incredibly sorry. I will do whatever I can to make it up to you and gain back your trust. If you want me to move out, I'll go. You found our home, not me, so it's only fair that you get to keep staying in it. I can find another place-"

"I don't want either of us to move out," Remus interrupted, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"You don't?," Sirius asked, hope blooming in his chest for the first time in days.

"Quite frankly I don't know what I want, but I know it's not that."

"Okay. I can work with that. Like I was saying, I thought you felt the way James feels towards me. Loving and protective, I mean. If I knew I could have more of you Remus, I would have taken that opportunity ages ago. The more I thought about it, the more obvious it became. How could I not, you're you, you're the moon to my star. Even when I was with her, I always wanted to come home and spend more time with you. I'm sorry that I didn't realize sooner. It's not an excuse, but that's all I thought I deserved."

"I've been telling you that you deserved more for years Sirius."

"I thought you were saying that because you had to, not because you were offering. Can I... can I hug you? You can say no, I understand."

"Come here Sirius."

"Being in your arms is like coming home," Sirius whispered, clinging onto Remus.

Remus didn't know what was more startling. The text from Lily, or answering the phone call from his mother and hearing Sirius's voice at the end of it. If it hadn't been for the earnest way he had spoken to his mother, Remus doesn't think he would've begun to forgive Sirius so easily.

"She called me you know."

"Lily?"

"My mam. This morning."

"After I left?"

"When you arrived."

"Oh... you heard all of that?," Sirius asked quietly.

"If I hadn't I promise you that you wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't have made it so easy to find me if I didn't think you meant it."

"What does that mean for us Moons?"

"I don't know Pads. I can't just forget what you did. I miss you and it fucking hurts that all I want is you and I can't have you."

"You can have me," Sirius promised, pulling away to look Remus in the eyes.

"I can't trust that you won't leave me again for her at the first opportunity. I want to believe that you mean what you say, but..."

"I understand. I fucked it all up. I'll wait for you Remus, I swear that I will. I blocked Mary, I brought back everything from her place and I'll have James drop her stuff off at her flat. Tell me what you want me to do."

"I don't know. I've never wanted someone to be so close yet simultaneously so far from me," Remus admitted.

"Let's make small decisions then. Do you want me to go back home today?"

"You came all this way-"

"I don't care. If you decided you didn't want me here today but you wanted me here tomorrow I would drop everything and come back to you."

"Can we try meeting again in a few days? I love you Sirius, I really do, but I need to think things over and decide what I want," Remus replied, losing the urge to not frown.

"I love you too Remus. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize I meant it more than platonically, but I would wait forever for you. Just... promise me that even if you decide you don't want to give me another chance, which you have the right to, that we can at least still be friends?"

"You came for me Padfoot, I won't lose your friendship. I promise. You mean too much to me, despite the heartache. I just need to think, and I can't do that when you make me feel so conflicted."

"Okay. I'm sorry you're reassuring me when I caused the initial problem. I'm going to leave you be now. Should I stay in Wales or go to London?"

"You can go home," Remus decided after a long pause.

He had come here to be alone and find himself, so that's what he would do.

"It's not home without you Moons, it never was. For what it's worth, Mary has asked me to move in with her for years, but I couldn't stand the thought of you not being down the hall from me anymore. I guess I should've figured that out sooner. Just unblock me when you want me to come back and I'll be here."

"Okay."

"Take care of yourself Remus," Sirius spoke softly, standing up and looking at Remus for the last time in who knows how long.

"You too Sirius."

Sirius hesitated at the door, looking back at Remus one more time.

"I um, brought you some things. I left them on the porch, let me just... Here."

"What is this?"

"The start of a very long apology. You didn't touch your chocolate stash when you left. That's still at home, I bought you more for while you're here. And your favorite mug with your favorite tea. What... used to be... your favorite sweater, but if you don't want it here because it reminds you of me I'll bring it back to London. Then I got you this book that I know you've been wanting to read for a while now."

"I never told you about the book."

"You would pick it up every time we went into the bookstore, so I stopped by and bought it for you. I got myself a copy so we can talk about it once you've finished."

"Fuck Sirius, you are making this so hard for me."

"I don't mean to. Am I love bombing you?"

"No, you're not. This behavior isn't exactly out of the ordinary for you. You're wonderful and I really want to kiss you right now but I can't."

"I wouldn't let you. Not like this. It's too soon, for both of us. Please eat something other than the chocolate now that you have it. I'll be back when you want me here."

"Sirius?"

When Sirius turned back around, Remus enveloped him in a tight hug.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Any time."

Sirius let himself bask in the feeling of Remus in his arms for a minute before pulling away and walking out the door without looking back. If he did, he can't promise he would have left.

With millions of thoughts running through his head, he decided to get some lunch in town before heading home. Grabbing some takeout, he settled himself on the shore far enough away where he couldn't see Remus. He decided to call Lily.

"Sirius Orion Black I swear to-"

"He's okay," Sirius interrupted. "I'm having lunch, alone, and then I'll be taking the next train back home."

"Alone?"

"He's staying until he feels he's ready to come back, and he needs to figure that out without me there. It hurts like hell to have him send me away but I guess I deserve it for what I did to him. He let me hug him before I left, so that was nice. I asked first, I didn't want to cross his boundaries."

"So where do you two stand?," Lily asked, already planning on calling Remus once Sirius was done.

"Working on repairing our friendship first, and seeing what happens after that. He said he'll call me when he wants me back. Now, I just wait."

"That's very grown of you Sirius, I'm proud of you."

"He needs to know that I am serious about him. He thinks I'll go running back to her at the first opportunity but he's wrong. I wish I never would have let her take my phone because then I would have him."

"You need to work through all of this first anyway. Remus would've rushed into things, you would've gone along with it, and there'd be no closure from Mary. Come back and stay with James and I for a few days."

"Tomorrow. Once I get back I'm packing anything Mary left here and I'll get James to drop it off tomorrow. I'm not going back there again."

"We'll come over then. Text one of us when you're a few stops away and we'll pick you up."

"Thanks Red," Sirius said gratefully, running a hand through his hair.

"Anytime Black, you know that."

Lily didn't even need to call Remus because after not seeing the few messages he had sent her due to being on the phone with Sirius, he called her.

"Hi Re, how are you?"

"Am I an idiot for sending him away?"

"I don't know Remus, this is your situation to figure out."

"I'm still upset over what he did, obviously, but I feel like I'm making a mistake sending him away. I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do."

"You need reassurance that he means it this time, that's why you're freaking out. You asked him to leave and he did, he's respecting your boundaries."

"I don't know what to do."

"He hasn't left yet," Lily offered.

"Isn't that mental? I just told him to leave and now I'm asking him to stay?"

"Love is mental Remus. This is your choice to make."

"Fuck me," he replied, hanging up on her and dialing Sirius, who answered on the first ring.

"Remus?"

"Come back."

"Re-"

"I need you here," Remus pleaded.

"Then I'll be here. I'm just down the coast a bit, I wanted to see it before I left."

Remus was out the door and running before Sirius even finished speaking.

"God Moons you don't have to run, I'm not going anywhere," Sirius promised, quickening his pace to get to Remus faster.

Remus all but threw himself at Sirius, who lost his balance, and they fell back onto the sand.

"Ouch this sand is fucking hot."

"Sorry," Remus mumbled into his neck.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"I just need you here with me for today, if that's okay. I used that hour to think and the thought of you leaving after us talking so soon sent me into a bit of a panic. I just... I don't know how to articulate my feelings anymore."

"How about we go inside, lay down next to each other, and read together? I brought my copy so that I could read on the train."

"I'd like that a lot. I'm sorry for knocking you over."

Remus stood up and brushed the sand off himself before offering a hand to Sirius.

"No, you're not," Sirius replied with a laugh, smiling up at Remus. "You look beautiful illuminated by the sun like that."

Remus blushed, ignoring the comment, and pulling Sirius into his side before brushing sand off of him.

"I mean it, Moons."

"Sure."

"One day, you'll believe me. I'll just have to keep telling you until you do. Have you had lunch yet?"

"No."

"Go back, I'll pick something up for you."

"I have food at home, it's okay. I'll just make a sandwich."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. You can't get rid of me that easily," Remus teased.

"Never Moons. I had to keep staring straight ahead because if I turned around I wouldn't have left. I want to do this right. You're not just a person Remus, you're my person. Even if it takes years to get back to where we were, I'll wait for you. I hope you can see that I mean that," Sirius pleaded, looking into Remus's eyes and gripping his hands.

Remus studied Sirius, not seeing an ounce of uncertainty in his face.

"I know," Remus promised, pressing a kiss to Sirius's forehead. "Let's get you a shirt that's not covered in sand."

When they got back to the cottage, Remus coaxed Sirius to take a shower while Remus decided to make himself lunch. Sirius returned sometime later with dripping hair, wearing one of Remus's shirts.

"I wondered where that shirt went."

"Sorry. I just grabbed the first few things in my closet, I didn't realize."

"It looks better on you anyway. Do you want me to plait your hair?"

"Are you sure?"

"Come here."

Sirius hummed lightly as Remus's hands gently removed any tangles from his hair.

"Maybe you stay today until after dinner? Then we see where we are in a few days?"

"Okay. Whatever you need Remus, I'll give it to you."

"What do you need?"

"I need to know that I haven't blown my one and only chance."

"No, I don't think you have. I value myself too much to jump head first into this when you've just ended your relationship for the whatever time. I need to be sure that you feel what you say you feel and that you're not confused."

"I can honestly say that I have never felt as loved, safe, and secure as I do when I have you with me, Remus. If it wasn't for that feeling, knowing that you would eventually have called me back to you, I would have fought tooth and nail until you agreed to hear me out."

"Okay. I believe you."

"Good."

They spent the rest of the day in Remus's bed, Sirius's head resting on his chest as they read together. He loved watching Sirius read, with his vivid facial expressions and the tiny snorts of amusement he would make when he found something funny.

"The book is up there, Moons."

"You're too cute Pads," Remus blurted out, rubbing his thumb over Sirius's dimple.

"Says you Moonshine."

"I would know then, wouldn't I?"

"I concede," Sirius replied after a moment's thought, grinning up at Remus.

"Took you long enough."

"I think it's time for me to go."

"Probably," Remus agreed, caressing Sirius's face again.

"If you don't let me leave now on my own accord I'm simply never leaving."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"In this case, it might be Remus. You wanted me to leave, remember? I don't like it, I don't want it, but I think you're right and that we do need that time apart, no matter how much I want to stay right here."

"I hate when I'm right."

"I usually find it quite charming," Sirius replied with a laugh, ruffling Remus's hair fondly.

"Come back to me on Friday after work?," Remus offered.

"A week?," Sirius asked with a frown.

"We can still talk in between. I'll know by the end of the week."

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder or whatever the hell they say right?"

"I can't imagine mine can get much fonder for you than this."

Sirius pulled Remus into a hug before kissing his forehead.

"You can't say things to me like that when I can't do anything about it."

"I've always said things to you like that," Remus replied.

"Now that I understand the true meaning you can't."

"I can't believe you thought I was saying any of that platonically."

"You've been saying it for so long...," Sirius trailed off.

"You can put two and two together, I know there's a brain in that pretty head of yours."

"Clearly not a good one if it took me this long. I'm sorry Remus."

"You don't have to apologize for not returning my feelings Sirius."

"I do though. Return them I mean. How could I not? But we'll have this conversation a week from today. If you let me, I'll keep talking forever."

"I look forward to it. Go Pads, I'll see you in a week."

"In a week Moons! Miss me terribly."

"You do leave a lasting impression."

Sirius arrived back to Lily and James's with a smile on his face.

"Well?"

"I have a chance. I'll see him again in a week. I have work to do. James, you're dropping Mary's junk off at her flat once I've packed it."

"Don't you want to rest first or-"

"No. I need to close that final chapter of my life and be done with it forever. Then I can focus only on Remus."

"Okay, let's go."

Throughout the week, Remus couldn't discern his feelings. He went through highs and lows, poring over his whole relationship with Sirius. Wanting to be with Sirius was simple. Was he ready to be with Sirius? Was Sirius ready to be with him?

That was the question really. Remus was sure what he wanted, but Sirius wanting the same thing after so many years of endless one-sided pining didn't make sense to Remus. Sirius was bold, irrational, and what if he saw Remus like a rebound? By the time Sirius came back to visit, Remus didn't know how he had accomplished any work that week.

"Moony!"

"Hi Padfoot."

"Can I hug you?"

"Please."

"I missed you," Sirius sighed, burying his face in Remus's neck.

Hadn't Sirius always greeted Remus like this, even when they were just friends?

"I missed you too."

"How are you feeling?"

"Would you believe me if I said even more confused?"

"Oh. Am I here too soon?," Sirius asked with a frown.

"No, I need you here so that we can fix this."

"Okay. How do we fix this?"

"Can we just... come here," Remus instructed, tugging Sirius over to his bed. "Sit."

Sirius sat down, feet swinging where they hung off the bed. Remus sat down across from him, resting his back against Sirius's. When Sirius's hand pressed against his, Remus intertwined their fingers.

"Okay. I don't know how to say this so I'm going to say it. Am I a rebound for Mary?"

"Absolutely not Remus! Is that what you think?," Sirius asked, trying to twist around to face Remus.

"We're sitting like this for a reason, Sirius. No, I don't believe that, but it was a thought. You don't know how hard this is for me. I've loved you quietly for so long, and now I don't know whether to run towards you or away from you. How can I trust that you'll stay, that I'll be enough for you?"

"I may have let her text you a few times from my phone, and barring our last misunderstanding on my part, haven't I always been there for you when it mattered? Canceled dates and called off work when you're sick or stressed to take care of you? Seen you were sad and brought you the expensive chocolate you like and made you tea? On the days you feel like you're not enough, haven't I always reassured you that you're more than and given you whatever parts of me I could?"

"Yes, you have."

"What else?"

"I really just feel less than," Remus replied with a sigh. "You shine so brightly and I fade into the background. It's just hard to believe."

At this confession, Sirius forced Remus to turn around and look at him.

"It's a shame that you don't realize how brightly you shine Remus, but I promise that I'll make sure you know. You're one of the only people who can bring me back from a nightmare or a bad mood. Whenever they would happen, I would call you, or I would crawl into your bed and you'd hold me and whisper things to me and play with my hair until I fell asleep. It's my turn to do things for you."

"I want to give us a real try. I want to come home to you dancing in the kitchen and fall into your arms and God do I want to kiss you."

"I'm glad to hear that because I've planned out a date for us tonight. Remus Lupin, would you go out on a fully romantic, very non-platonic date with me, Sirius Black?"

"I would love to, Sirius."

"Let's say goodbye to your mother then and go back home. I drove here so we don't even have to wait for the train."

"Okay. Thank you, for being so understanding about all of this."

"I told you years ago Moons, it's you and I until the end."

"I think I finally believe you, Pads," Remus admitted, staring into Sirius's eyes.

With a bright smile, Sirius kissed Remus on the cheek, grabbed his hand in one of his with his bags in the other, and led Remus outside.

Once home, Sirius covered Remus's eyes and led him up the steps.

"Padfoot, this seems dangerous. I'm clumsy on a good day, forget when I can't see at all."

"You'll just have to trust me, Moony."

"It's my own limbs that I don't trust."

"One more step... there we go. Now we're walking down the hallway, watch your shoulder, and stop."

"Why are we stopped outside of our junk room?," Remus asked, head tilted in confusion.

"Open the door and find out."

Remus gasped and stood frozen at the doorway until Sirius gave him a gentle nudge forward.

"Sirius..."

"Do you like it?"

"You created my dream library for me in less than a week and you're asking if I like it?," Remus's voice cracked as he looked around the room in awe before turning that look onto Sirius.

"I didn't know if it was too much, doing it without you, but I needed you to know that my feelings are real. I love you, I'm in love with you, and you deserve to have the home library of your dreams darling."

"Cariad," Remus whispered, blinking back tears in his eyes as he pulled Sirius against him. "I love you, I love this, I love us."

Sirius gently wiped the tears forming out of Remus's eyes before caressing his face.

"I promise to give you everything you deserve and more."

"Then kiss me."

As their lips met for the first time, and Remus later found himself pressed up against the door of his new home library, he knew that they would be okay. Despite all of their setbacks, they were together now, and nothing would change their happy ending.