Hanon

(QUICK AN: THE SECURITY GUYS NAME IS PAUL EVEN IN THE ORIGINAL IDK WHY I WROTE BEN I WAS HALF ASLEEP T_T. I changed it back to paul so yeah I just wanted to let you know.)

When Kai left, I couldn't bring myself to move at first. I sat on the floor, staring at the wall and thinking.

Why?

At first, I thought he would do something stupid that had to do with his father. That thought gave me relief.

But then, I thought, why did he act so mean and indifferent? Why couldn't he tell me?

My insecurities took over. I thought that it had something to do with me. I was blinded by rage and disappointment, so I couldn't see the reason that was right in front of me. I knew Kai. I knew Kai wouldn't do this to me.

I went to work that day. I would tell Cameron about it. Maybe he said something to him, or maybe he knew something.

But when I went to work that day, Cameron wasn't there.

"Where's Cam?" I asked a coworker. My shift was now with her, instead of Cameron.

"He changed his schedule, and mine is flexible, so I agreed to take his place" She smiled at me.

"Oh, do you know when he works?"

"If he works my previous shift then, probably tomorrow morning"

"Thank you" I forced a smile.

She was a nice girl, a year younger than me, so I didn't want to show how panicked I was inside. Instead, I tried to make it comfortable for her.

So I worked through my shift with a tight feeling in my chest and a lump in my throat, waiting desperately to leave this place.

When I went home, I glanced at the kitchen. The glass shards were still there. I didn't want to touch them or clean it up and I didn't even know why.

I took a shower as usual and went to my room. I never stopped thinking about Kai. It never actually hit me until I stepped into my room. My head was much clearer now, and I could actually think.

He came into my room before he left and nothing seemed to be missing, but there was something that had been misplaced. 

_______

"Cameron" I called his name, walking towards the counter.

I had decided to pay him a visit while he was working. 

He turned around in surprise and looked at me with wide eyes.

I smiled at him, "Long time no see"

"Hanon? What are you doing here? I'm pretty sure you don't work at this hour-"

"Of course you would know that. You rearranged your schedule so that you wouldn't see me"

"I-no I didn't, I just-"

"Why do you seem so nervous?" I leaned closer to him, "Is it because of what you did?"

"What I did" He looked as if he had seen a ghost and his voice sounded small.

"What you did to me. Why did you do that, Cam?"

"I didn't do anything"

"Kai left". He tried to act surprised, but I now knew better than that, "But you know that already"

"No. I don't"

"You should learn to lie better now that you're getting paid for it"

He sighed and looked up, murmuring something to himself.

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about"

"Did you betray him? Did you help them?"

"No, I didn't! And this isn't the place to talk about this"

"What do you mean you didn't? There is no way he went willingly"

Cameron looked around and sighed, "Hanon, this isn't the place to talk about this. I'm working here" He whispered and tried to turn around, but I caught his wrist.

I leaned closer to him, "Listen, Cam. I've known the owner of this café for years, and I can confidently say that he trusts my word. If I tell him about all your bullying and you framing me, you will lose your job, and I will make sure he lets every other café owner near know as well"

He looked shocked and didn't speak at first. I was also very surprised with myself. I had never threatened anyone.

"Unless you want to work for them. I  bet they gave you a bunch of money to ruin everything"

He gulped hard,  and his eyes widened, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hanon, it's just-" He lowered his voice, "I'm scared"

He glanced at something behind me, but when I went to look, he caught my shirt, "Don't look behind you. Please" He whispered as quietly as possible.

"They're watching you" I mouthed and he nodded.

I didn't want to do what I did next, but I was desperate for answers.

"If you don't tell me, I'll make a scene and give you out. Tell me, did Kai go willingly?"

He nodded.

Before I could even process it, my eyes were filled with tears. I let go of his shirt and took a step back.

"Tell Kai I hate him" I spat out.

He nodded again.

Then, I decided to put up an act so that Cameron would be safe. It wasn't his fault after all and our conversation could look suspicious from afar.

"You don't know? You were the only one a little close to him and you don't know? He couldn't have done this without a reason!" I said louder so that the people watching him would hear.

Cameron had a confused look at first, but he caught on pretty quick.

"Maybe he was just fed up of being kept inside"

"He wasn't like this!"

"Hanon, please leave, I'm working here. You wouldn't want this reaching the boss"

I paused for a second, then turned around and left.

I wiped my tears away as soon as I left the café. Walking away, I quickly searched for suspicious people.

The café was well known in this town. Most people were regulars or had been here once or twice. The only people that could be new here would be couples or students.

The three men sitting at the table weren't regulars, and they looked very suspicious. 

I went back home and tried to process what I had just heard.

"He went willingly?" I asked myself.

Cameron couldn't have been lying about it. He wouldn't tell me they were watching him if he was going to lie.

Right? Right.

I cursed Kai in my head. He was so stupid he went there willingly.

What is he doing right now? Is his father back to abusing him? He's probably mad about him leaving, so he must've taken it all out on him.

I kept making up scenarios, and I was starting to hyperventilate. 

Why?

__________

That evening on my shift, the same men were there. It seemed like they were determined to also watch over me, so I kept my calm.  I was a bit worried about how I would leave the café. What if they tried to take me? I was terrified. 

"Hanon, are you okay?" My coworker, Ella, asked me.

"Yes, it's just stress" I lied and smiled at her.

"Oh, you must be tired. I hear you usually work overtime too. Do you want to take a break? I can handle it" She smiled reassuringly.

"Thank you Ella but, it's okay. It's only a couple hours"

I was also a little worried about her with these guys around. If they were really sent here by Kai's father, they could try to use her just like Cameron if they saw me talking to her a lot.

However, before my shift ended, they got a phone call and left the café. I saw them getting into their car, which was parked right across the street, and then drive away.

Finally, I was comfortable and could breathe without fearing for my life.

I had no one to protect me now. I didn't have Kai, I didn't have Cameron. I didn't even have my parents.

No one.

I went home feeling paranoid that night. I kept looking back as I walked faster and faster every second. I was very aware of the people around me on the bus. I always was, but tonight, it felt suffocating. As if everyone would try to hurt me.

After going home and doing my nightly routine, I went to Kai's room. Everything was exactly as he left it. His bed was made, it always was. He spent most of the time in my bed anyway.

I got under the covers and let out a deep breath. His scent had faded, but it wasn't that much different than mine since we used the same shower products. Only a bit deeper and more masculine.

I missed him. I missed him so much. Here I was finally alone and I could let out all my emotions. I started crying hysterically into the pillow. His pillow.

"Why, why!"I hit the pillow hard with rage.

"I hope Cameron tells you how much I hate you" I spat out, looking at the pillow as if it was him.

But I knew it was a lie. The pillow might have as well known it was a lie. I loved Kai with everything I had.

And I thought he also loved me.

I cried myself to sleep. I cried, sobbed uncontrollably, until I passed out.

________

"That's you" Kai pointed at the picture of me and my parents when I was a toddler.

"Yes" I smiled at him.

"Cute" He murmured with a faint smile, "Who are they?"

"My parents"

As soon as I said that, an anxious and confused look took over his face, "But you seem happy"

Oh.

"Kai, parents aren't usually like your parents" I told him hesitantly.

Is he even ready to know the truth? We've only been out of that hell for a week.

"What do you mean?"

"Parents don't hurt their children because they love them"

"Love"

"Yes"

"My father punished me because he loved me"

"No!" I shut the photo album in rage and he flinched.

Gosh, I keep making it worse.

But he sounded so brainwashed when he said that sentence that I couldn't help myself. It was very disturbing. Who knows what sick way that monster used to get this into Kai's head.

I touched his shoulder gently, "Parents who really love their children don't hurt them"

"But-"

"Parents want their kid to be happy. For example, if their kid is hungry, they want to feed their kid even if there won't be enough for themselves"

"Oh?"

"Yes, you father barely fed you. Parents also take their children out to have fun. Look" I showed him a picture of me and my dad in the park. I was holding a balloon. 

"Oh"

"Yes, parents love their children and they do everything it takes to make them happy and keep them away from harm. That's love"

"So father didn't love me"

His face dropped as he realized it. I thought he would already know that, but poor Kai was so sheltered that he didn't even know that.

"I'm sorry, Kai" I stroked his hair.

"What happened to your parents?" He asked.

He didn't mean to, but that question instantly made me tear up.

"No, I'm sorry, Hanon. I'm sorry!" He started apologizing frantically.

"It's okay, you didn't know" I gave him a tearful smile and my voice cracked, "They died"

"You can cry it's okay" He murmured soothingly and stroked my hair.

It's because I do it to him, but unlike me, he doesn't cry. Now that I think about it, I have never caught him crying.

However, those words brought me to tears and I started sobbing and holding onto his shirt. He was tense at first and he became even more tense everytime I sobbed.

He kept whispering , 'It's okay', 'Let it out'. He didn't know how to comfort, so he was mimicking me and that brought a smile to my face.

At least I have Kai.