Kai

"How are you today?" My father broke the silence at the dinner table. Eating like this is really awkward. Most of the time we don't even talk.

"I'm great and you?"  I gave him a fake smile.

"Good. Your teacher says you've improved a lot"

"I'm glad that's the case. Thank you for giving me this opportunity"

He smiled ear to ear. That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

"Of course. I should have done this a lot earlier, but I'm proud of you"

I nodded, still having my fake smile on and then went back to eating. I wanted to go back to my room as fast as possible. Spend hours gazing at Hanon's beautiful face on our pictures. 

Maybe even call her. Hear her soft melodic voice.

Maybe this time I wouldn't be a coward and hang up on her face.

"I only want what's best for you. You don't need any distractions" He spat out the last word as if it repulsed him, "I hope you understand"

Of course I knew that by 'distractions' he meant Hanon, but she would never be a distraction. If I didn't get my 'dose' of her for a few days, whether that was staring at her photos, smelling her lotion or talking to her, I would fall apart. Go crazy.

"Yes" I nodded and tried to eat some more. I had no appetite ever since I came here, but I had no choice but to eat. At least I was being fed, not like last time I was here.

"I'm glad you do" He smiled widely.

The atmosphere was awkward, like always, so my eyes automatically wandered and my gaze fell on my mother. She had barely touched her food and she was staring at me. It was very unsettling.

"Is she making you uncomfortable?" Father asked.

"Oh no. I don't mind her"

"Alice stop staring at my son"

It was a bit weird that he referred to me as his son and not their son. She was my mother after all.

"Yes" She mumbled and looked down at her plate still full of food.

What is the point in having her here if he won't acknowledge her most of the time?

After we were done with the mean, I immediately excused myself to go to my room. I didn't want to stay there more than I absolutely had do. I passed by the security guy, not saying anything to him and went to my room.

I stared and stared at my phone.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

How long will this go on? how long can I keep up without her presence?

I figured sleeping would be better than being awake. My dreams were usually only of her, so I would be happy if I slept.

I slept pretty much the whole day. Everytime I woke up to her absence I went to sleep again. I didn't want to be here.

"Sir" I heard a firm voice, "Sir"

I woke up to see Paul standing at the door.

"Why are you in here?" I asked, annoyed.

"You've been sleeping all day, I-I was getting worried" He said, "I'm sorry, sir"

Him calling me sir made me feel very uncomfortable. He could basically be my father, "Please, just call me Kai"

The security man smiled a bit, "As you wish, Kai. I'll leave you alone now. I'll be right outside if you need me"

I dismissed him and got back under the covers.

_______

I heard a loud knock on the door and immediately woke up, "Who is it?" I yelled.

"Sir, your mother requests to see you" I heard Paul's voice.

My eyes widened in surprise.

What does she want again?

"Tell her I'm busy" I sighed.

I heard some murmurs before a familiar voice was heard, "Please, Kai"

It was my mother, of course.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, walking to the door. I opened it for her to come in and told Paul to go away for a minute.

"What is it?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Kai, I know we might not have the best relationship, but I can't keep ignoring you for much longer. No matter what happened, you're my son and I want to see you" She murmured, "I've been trying to, but your father doesn't let me. Please don't tell him I'm here, please let's just talk" She pleaded with a desperate look on her face.

"Ah, you snuck out"

"Yes, but please don't tell him!"

"Get out" I said firmly.

"I won't until we talk-"

"I said get out. Isn't this what you used to tell me as well?"

"Kai, that day..." My mother spoke, "I didn't mean it that you were annoying me"

"Then why did you say it?" I asked her. I honestly didn't really care about it either way. Even if she didn't mean it, the damage had been done and I was over it.

"Your father was home. If I didn't get you to go to your room quickly, he would find you and punish you. And he did..."

"Maybe if you had any motherly love for me, you would explain to him that I was only visiting you and try to stop him from punishing me" I told her.

She looked down in shame, "I'm sorry. I was scared like you. He didn't want me to be kind to you"

"Enough. I don't care" I said and waved my hand, signaling for her to leave.

"Please, understand. I was trying my best"

"Your best is very underwhelming"

"Please, Kai. You said you would hear me out"

I rolled my eyes, "Annoying. Why do you cling to me like a leech? I have plans for today and don't have time for you"

When she heard her own words come out of my mouth, her eyes widened and her face became distorted, "I'm sorry" She muttered before leaving the room.

I sighed rolling my eyes, "Finally"

________

A woman opened the door to my room. She was holding a tray with my food on it. I was pretty happy when I saw it because the food wasn't just bread today so I must've done something good.

But still, something bothered me.

"Miss? Do you know where my mom is?" I asked the woman.

"The Mrs is in her room" She said coldly.

"But the maid said my mom would come see me today?"

"I'll ask her and let you know" The woman said and left the room. I waited patiently. The rice was too hot and I couldn't eat yet.

After a few minutes, the door opened and the maid came in, "The Mrs says she's already planned something today so she can't see you"

"But she said she would..." I murmured. 

The maid left, without saying anything else.

Maybe I can see her before she leaves and ask her.

I opened the door careful to not make any noise. I looked around and once I saw that the hallway was clear, I left the room and headed for my mother's room. I knocked nervously.

"Come in" She said.

I opened the door and when she saw me she widened her eyes, "What are you doing outside of your room?" She said through gritted teeth and looked at the hallway behind me.

"I wanted to see you. You said you would see me today"

"You needy kid. You always cling to me like a leech. I have something planned today and don't have time for you. Can't I have a day for myself?

"But you never visit me..."

I already wanted to cry at her words. I never ask anything from her and it's the first time I'd come to see her.

"Ugh! You're so ungrateful! Go back to your room, right away" She said and ushered me outside shutting the door to my face.

I held back my tears and walked back to my room. She said she would visit me. I barely see her at all. I'm lucky if I spend an hour with her in one month.

At least I have something good to eat today.

"Where have you been?" I heard a cold voice behind me as I was about to open the door.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach and froze.

"Why were you outside your room?" He asked. I could already hear the irritation in his voice, "Why aren't you answering me!?"

"I-I'm sorry, father. I thought I heard something and I went to check"

"And who gave you the right to check?" He asked slowly walking towards me. I subconsciously backed away and kept my back stuck to the wall.

"I-I'm sorry-"

My words were cut off when he grabbed me by the collar, opened the door and threw me inside, on the floor. I heard the door shut with a really loud sound.

"I thought you had learned your place because you've been very quiet lately, but I guess I was wrong. You never do what I tell you, you always disappoint me"

"I'm sorry" I kept saying.

His gaze dropped to the tray on my nightstand and he walked towards it.

He took the plate with the rice and threw it against down on the floor. I flinched at the loud sound and closed my eyes, holding back tears. As if that wasn't enough, he stomped on the rice so that I wouldn't eat it off the floor.

"No food today. You don't deserve it"

Then he eyed the glass of water on the tray and he took it and threw it on the wall, "No water either"

He didn't spare me another glance and just left the room, shutting the door.

As soon as I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore, I bursted out crying.

My mom and my dad hate me. I have no one that cares for me, so what am I good for? Why do I exist?

I eyed the shards of glass on the floor. The more I looked at it, the more I convinced myself to just make myself bleed to death and be free of this life.

I should just do it. Maybe if I do it, they'll be sad. I want them to feel guilty.

I crawled towards the shards of glass the took the sharpest one in my hand. I looked at it and looked at it for minutes, but as convinced as I was to do it, something was stopping me.

"Kai!" I heard a familiar soft voice.

I looked up to see Hanon. She was new there and I still didn't trust her, but she seemed very sweet. She was also really pretty.

"What are you doing?" She asked and dropped to her knees. She started to clean up the food and glass shards.

"What are you doing here? I'm not allowed visitors-"

"Shh, I snuck out" She smiled softly. Her smile was really pretty. Her eyes shined when she smiled. It was like seeing an angel. But looks could often fool, so I didn't trust her yet.

She put the trash in a plastic bag that she had and then she took something out of her bag. It was a small container with food inside, "Here, I brought you this. It isn't much, but it's better than nothing" She chuckled nervously.

"I-I'm not allowed-"

"It's okay, Kai. No one will know, I promise you. Here I brought you a bottle of water too. Go ahead"

For some reason, even though I didn't want to trust her, I couldn't help but do so. She often helped me like this, putting her own wellbeing in danger and won my full trust.

It only took her a year to completely and unknowingly bind me to her. One year and I was hers. She didn't even know the lengths I'd go for her.