Hanon

I lied on Kai's bed and stared at the ceiling.

He called me.

He called me a couple days ago. I knew it was him.

So why can't he call again? I need him to call again.

I wanted to hear him. Hear his voice. I knew how to get it out of him even if he didn't want to and this time, I would. I couldn't stand this loneliness anymore. This emptiness. 

I took my phone in my hands and stared at it. I've never held my phone for so long before. It was old and I was thankful that it was still working, but I never really needed it. This time, however,  I kept staring at it, hoping I would see 'Unknown number' pop up on my screen again.

"Please, Kai" I pleaded silently.

After several minutes of staring at it, I gave up with a sigh and dropped it on the nightstand.

"Why?"

Why couldn't he call again? Was he in danger?

"Who am I kidding? He's definitely in danger"

Tears went down my face at the thought of it. How did they treat him? Was it the same as before?

The crazy thought of going there went through my head for a second, but I quickly dismissed it. It would be ridiculously stupid.

I turned on my stomach and breathed in the scent of the sheets. It didn't smell like him anymore. I cried even harder. Almost all his traces were erased and I felt like he had never been there.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but sleep didn't come. I felt on edge, there was no way I could sleep.

The next day at work, I was a mess. I felt so tired from the lack of sleep and the time went by so slow.

I was on my break in the staff room when I noticed something where I usually leave my stuff.

Why didn't I see it this morning?

I opened it and it seemed like a letter.

I'm being watched and this is the only way to communicate. How are you? Kai's doing okay, in case you wanted to know. Answer me in a note in the same place and I'll see it later when my shift starts.

-Cam.

It was written as if he was in a hurry.

Poor Cameron is in the middle of this and he doesn't even want to.

I sat down and started writing. I told him I was good, but to tell Kai I'd missed him. I asked him how he was doing and how they were treating him and I also apologized for the mess and my previous behavior.

I left the note in the same place and went back to work.

When Kai was home, I used to be so eager to leave work. Now that Kai wasn't home, I didn't mind being late. In fact, I felt safer here with all the people. I was struggling yo sleep back home because I was scared someone would come and hurt me. Even when I slept, I would wake up multiple times and it felt like I was never in deep sleep.

This night was the same.

_______

"You're not looking too good, Hanon. Is everything alright?" Ella asked me.

"Yes, why?" I quickly smiled to appear more lively.  People have been saying that to me a lot lately.

"You know, I don't mean to be rude but, you look really tired. Do you want to go in the back and get some sleep? We're not super busy today" She whispered to me.

"Oh don't worry Ella, I'm not tired" I assured her.

"It's really okay, you know"

"No, no, no I am really not tired" I waved my hands.

Do I really look that tired? If I look like that I might drive customers away.

"You've been working much more than you have to, you know. When do you even go home?" She chuckled while cleaning a cup.

I laughed nervously, "You know, it's just lonely at home so I like it here"

"Oh, if that's the reason, would you like to go out with me today? You won'tbe lonely and you won't have to work" She finished with a smile.

I raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

Ella seemed like a nice girl, but after everything, how could I not be suspicious?

But they had Kai already so what would they need me for? Plus, Ella seemed to be about seventeen.  Could a girl so young be in this business?

"Sure" I smiled at her.

She clapped her hands excitedly and bounced on her feet, "Yes! I'm so excited!"

I chuckled at her enthusiasm. I wasn't very excited to be honest, but it's better than crying at home.

_______

"So, how old are you?" I asked her. We were at a café and had just ordered.

"I'm seventeen. You are older, right?"

"Yes, I am twenty"

"I felt a bit intimidated at first, you know. Especially when I asked to hang out today, I was sure you'd say no"

"Why would I say no?" I smiled at her.

"I don't know, because we don't know each other that well. Either way, if you want to refuse, you can anytime"

I chuckled, "Thank you, Ella. You too, of course"

"Oh no! I definitely won't refuse"

"Why is that?"

"I am new to this town and I want to get to know a lot of people and you seem like a nice person"

Nice person. Kai used to say that.

"What makes you think I am a nice person?"

"Well, you are very kind and very pretty and you actually agreed to hang out!"

"Oh Ella, that doesn't make someone a nice person" I shook my head, "You should get to know people better first before saying that"

"Well yes, that's why I said you seem like a nice person"

I chuckled, "Fair, so what brings you to this town? You're only seventeen"

"I study here, actually"

Ella started talking about her studies, her life in the town. Nothing too deep, nothing too much. It was a very fun conversation and we had a good time.

After a couple hours we decided it was time to go. Ella had to go home to study and clean up and I had to go home and cry, probably.

"Thank you, Hanon. I had so much fun today"

"Don't mention it. We can go out any time"

"Really!? Thank you!"

I smiled and waved goodbye as she got on the bus, waving back at me.

The moment she was gone, the smile on my face dropped. It was fake, not because I didnt like her. No, I liked her very much. She seemed like a very nice girl.

It was because all I could ever think about was Kai. Nothing seemed to take my mind off him.

After my shower when I went home. I got in his bed again. Breathing the sheets in, in case I could smell a bit of him there. But there was nothing. Only the smell of fabric.

Sleeping was a bit easier this time. Maybe being social was just that tiring, so I let my body rest.

That's when my phone rang.

My body was suddenly overflowing with energy and I jumped up, looked at the screen, it read 'Uknown number'

A stupidly big smile took over my face and I immediately picked up.

"Yes!?" I answered with visible urgency in my voice.

I stayed quiet trying to hear him. Hear his breathing.

"It seems like you're holding your breath. At least let go so I can figure out who you are"

Next, I heard the faintest exhale ever.

It was him. It was Kai.

I could tell because that exhale was a bit whiny at the end and was shaky.

"Kai" I desperately uttered his name, "I miss you. I can't take this"

Please talk to me this time.

"Please, say-"

Then the line went dead.

I stayed still for a few seconds before dropping the phone. Next thing I knew, I was sobbing on his pillow again.