Kai

"I acted too harshly" My father mumbled as he looked down in shame.

He had called me into his office a few hours after the incident.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't control my anger" He sighed, "I'm afraid my old habits keep getting the best of me"

I stayed silent and waited for him to finish. I could tell by his face he had more to say. However, it seemed to me like he was reciting a poem. Like he was reading off a script.

He wasn't sorry. He was acting.

"I'm so sorry" He looked up at me with eyes full of crocodile tears. At that point, I knew he was waiting for a reply.

It took everything in me to force a smile and nod, "It's okay. I'm glad you're at least making some effort"

He sighed in relief, "You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that. However, please, don't communicate with that girl ever again" He warned, his eyes dark as if he wasn't about to "cry" a few seconds earlier. 

"Yes, father"

"I hope this time you're telling the truth. I'm giving you everything, Kai. Please give me this one thing that I'm asking"

"You're right. I'm sorry for disobeying. I took all this for granted. I promise I'm telling the truth this time" I told him exactly what he wanted to hear and he smiled.

We were both fooling each other.

"Thank you. You can leave now"

I nodded and left his office.

The moment I turned my back, my smile disappeared and a scowl took its place.

Everytime I talk to him, I feel disgusted with myself.

I went to my room, however,  before I could close the door, Paul spoke up.

"Are you okay, sir?"

Security was meant to ignore me. They weren't supposed to start chit chat. They were supposed to protect me from intruders, or in my case, keep an eye on me so that I don't escape.

So naturally, I thought something was wrong. Maybe this guy was instructed to ask and see what I would say.

I turned to him with a cold look, "I'm sure chit chatting isn't part of your job. Do your job and only that"

I went into my room immediately.  I didn't want to be mean to them, but I had to. I didn't know who to trust.

I lied on the bed and sighed.

This is already very tiring.

I wish I could just stay with Hanon in our home. I wasn't used to sleeping without her. I wasn't used to this huge, cold bed. Our beds were small, so we always hugged each other when sleeping on the same bed, but it was better than this.

Much, much better.

Taking out our photos and looking through them had become my daily routine. I couldn't function without seeing her face for a couple hours. I had to remind myself that she wasn't just a dream. That she really existed and she was mine and she really loved me.

_______

"How is she?" I asked Cameron who was here once again. I told father to bring him over. I told him we were very close and wanted some company because I felt lonely and strangely, he did what I asked.

"I don't see her a lot since we don't work the same hours anymore", He hesitated.

"Well, change your schedule" I frowned.

He sighed in frustration, "No, your father instructed I don't see her"

I rolled my eyes. This man really made sure I had zero communication with her. It was as if he really wanted me to think she didn't exist.

"Well, can't you see her off work for a bit? How am I supposed to know how she's doing?"

"I'll try, but I can't promise you anything. I'm really scared of your father. Besides, have you heard of Isaac at all? What even happened to him?"

"Ah"

I'd forgotten about that.

I would check that out later.

"Okay, I hope you manage to do what I said"

He rolled his eyes, "Are you even listening to me? I could die!"

"You should learn to fear me more than you fear my father" I warned him.

"It doesn't seem like you have much power right now"

"Cameron, I could walk out right now and tell him you keep mentioning Hanon and trying to get me to escape. Who would he believe?"

At that, he shut his mouth.

It was funny because I actually didn't even know who he would believe. He didn't seem to trust me at all, so maybe he would choose to believe Cameron.

But Cameron didn't know that.

"And don't worry. Whatever happens, I will make sure you stay safe"

"I don't know if I can rely on that, but thank you"

"You should go now. My father wouldn't want too much of my time wasted like that"

"I'm not a waste of time"

"According to my father, you are" I gestured him to leave.

He left with a sigh and a quiet 'bye'

I lied on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I could barely get enough sleep ever since I came here.

Hours of studying, taking classes, working out had taken up so much of my day that I barely had time to sleep, but when I did, at least it was peaceful because I was so exhausted.

Hanon was my last thought before falling asleep and my first after waking up. Always on my mind. I was thinking about her while staring at the high ceiling and I quickly fell asleep.

_________

I heard footsteps outside the door. The footsteps were light, almost entirely quiet. I knew who was about to open my door.

Hanon.

She was away this weekend because she had two days off and decided to go see her aunt. Two days without seeing her were hell and now that she was back I felt uncontrollable happiness.

A smile made its way onto my face. I couldn't hold back my happiness. Feeling impatient, I stood up and waited right outside the door. When she opened it, she bumped into me and gasped in surprise. 

"Kai, what were you doing behind the door?" She asked with an embarrassed smile and red cheeks.

Pretty. So pretty.

I'd missed seeing her beutiful face so much I would faint from joy.

"Ah, I just heard footsteps and figured it was you"

She giggled, "I'm also happy to see you"

I felt my face heat up at her words.

"Is it that obvious?" I mumbled.

She took my hands in hers and smiled, "Don't worry. I like it. Someone is happy to see me, why wouldn't I like it?"

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. I was a bit flustered. 

"I missed you" She told me, making me widen my eyes.

Missed me?

"I actually made you something. My aunt is a tailor so she teaches me some things for fun when I visit her"

I couldn't concentrate on anything after hearing that she missed me. I felt like I was about to melt.

"Here" She gave me a small bag.

I slowly took it and looked inside. It was a bracelet made with a brown soft material. It had my name embroidered on it too.

"It's a bit stupid. I'm sorry" She looked down with a sad look.

"I love it" I blurted out. I wasn't lying. I loved anything that came from her.

Her eyes lit up as she looked at me, "Really?" She smiled brightly.

"Of course! Did you really make it?" I asked her.

She nodded proudly.

"Thank you" I smiled.

She made something for me. She was away this weekend and was still thinking of me. How lucky am I?

But there was one problem.

I couldn't let my father see it, but I didn't want to tell her that. I didn't want her to think that her gift was useless, because to me it wasn't. It was everything.

So I decided to hide it when my dad came and wear it when Hanon was around and when I slept, for comfort. 

There was an opening in the wall from one time where my father got mad and punched the wall hard. I shoved it in and hoped it wasn't visible.

_______

I woke up very suddenly after my nap. Nothing happened and nothing woke me up. I was just reminded of Hanon's gift in my dreams and how I forgot it here. I was very disappointed when I realized I'd left without it back then.

Maybe it's still there? A little crazy after about five years, but it doesn't hurt to look.

At least, that's what I thought at first, but as soon as I stepped foot into the third floor, the same familiar feeling went over me. That feeling that the walls were about to close in on me any second and that I would stay trapped here.

My breathing became hard, but I kept going, searching for my old  room.

This is just for Hanon's gift. I only need to find it then everything will be okay.

I walked faster and found the door  to my room. I tried to open it but it was locked. I kept trying and trying like an idiot.

"What are you doing?"

I turned around quickly when I heard a voice. It was my mother.

"The door is locked. It isn't going to open on its own" She told me with a small smile.

I ignored her and tried pushing it harder.

"If you break it, your father will be mad"

Again, I ignored her.

"How about I give you the key instead?" She suggested. When I heard that, I turned to her and saw her holding the key.

Surprisingly, she let me take the key without asking for anything.

"Are you just going to stand there?  Don't you have anything better to do?" I asked her.

"No. I don't"

"Weird. You had so much to do a few years ago. Anyway, you can leave now"

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see something"

"Are you looking for this?"

She took something out of her pocket.

It was Hanon's bracelet. 

And she was holding it with her dirty hands.

"Where did you find this?"

"Where you'd left it. When you left I asked your dad to leave your room as it is. I said I would take care of this floor"

"Why?"

"I wanted something that reminded me of you" She murmured with a sad smile.

I couldn't hold back from laughing, "Don't make me laugh. You didn't even know me and you wanted something that reminded you of me?"

"That's what you think"

"That's the truth. Now give it back to me"

Instead, she looked at it and said, "I found this a few months after you left. I couldn't bear to look at your room at first, then I found myself not able to leave the room. I found this hidden in the wall. Tell me, did that maid give it to you?"

How dare you mention her.

"Give it to me"

"It's very cute. She was cute. I see why you're so infatuated with her"

"It's not infatuation. Now give it to me"

"Can't we have a conversation?"

"Don't make me take it by force"

I wouldn't hit her, of course, but I could easily overpower her and just take it. I just didn't want her to nag me about it or tell father.

She looked at me with a look of disgust, "Fine"

She handed me the bracelet and then walked away.

I need to get out of here immediately. 

I went up to my room. Paul looked at me suspiciously, but I ignored him and went in, closing the door behind me.

I immediately went to the sink to clean the bracelet. After two years of being hidden in that wall and years in the hands of my mother, the fabric was worn out and dirty.

I washed it again and again. Just imagining my mother wearing it or even touching it made me sick to my stomach.

Hanon made it for me. I should be the only one to have it. It's mine.

I didn't know how long I'd been washing it when I finally stopped and put it somewhere to dry.

It looked much brighter now. The name was even visible. It was small, but you could see it if you looked.

Looking at it, I smiled.

Now I have another thing of hers. Now I have another thing to remind me she exists. That she wasn't just a perfect dream.