Not a lot happens to me, which is a good thing for the most part. What this means is certain events stand out in my memory with headlines like "The Flood" and "That Time We Went Deer Hunting With the Truck".

Settle down, I'll tell you about the deer some other time. Didn't you notice this post was called The Flood? You Halo players need to settle down, too. I'm talking about actual floodwater and not the creepy monsters from the game.

When I was little, we lived a couple years in a small mountain town called--

Are you pouting?? Oh, come on. The deer can wait! Why do you want to hear about death and carnage anyway? Wouldn't you much rather read about two little girls confined to their beds because of all the icky brown water that rose a foot high in the house? How they pawed at the water trying to get at floating toys? How they were served meals in bed like little princesses? No?

NO??

Well of all the-- fine. I'm going for some ice cream then.