Dedicated to nocyphertae

Episode 27-> The Hugh Hunt: Message In A Bottle

[START]

"What do you like about Naomi, if you don't mind me asking?"

Deidara peers into the cloudy blue abyss above us as he slowly expression his feelings, "Naomi is Naomi, hm. I like her spunk and crassness along with her down-to-earth personality. For a woman older than me, I find her... cute. She is as explosive as my art, yeah. Yet at other times she just radiates this soft light, like she is glowing. I don't know, un, it is just..." He finishes with a shrug, as if saying, do with it what you will.

He just called her art. Deidara just compared my crazy cousin to his art. I think she just received his highest praise right there, wow. It took everything ounce of restraint I had to not squeal-- the song of my fanatical people.

On a more composed note, my mind was blown by the development. It was so strange and mysterious how someone can win a heart so unwittingly. My eyes glaze over as I ponder the thought of a lucky outcome like that ever happening to me too.

Then, like clouds cruelly peeing on my parade, I remembered that losing a heart was just as mystifying.

I hold back my sombre sigh and turn my blue eyes toward my companion, "Thanks for telling me that. I won't tell her about what we talked about."

"It might be a better idea if you did tell her, hm."

"Huh? For real?"

"Yea, since she thinks I only want her for her-" He does the suggestive peace sign like I did earlier, making me snort out a loud laugh.

"True, true. Oh, and coincidentally, Naomi has never dated anyone so her imagination probably ran wild whe n you did whatcha did." (She might be trying to go back to heaven the way she came.) Amused by the thought, I watch Deidara mull over my words.

Deidara doubted his ears, "Wait, are you sure?"

"Hm! Totally." I nod an affirmative.

"What about her boss?" The subject Deidara had worried over, even after meeting him, the bomber wasn't able to question Naomi about the guy. This was chance to get some external confirmation.

Tense he impatiently watches my lips for my next words. This was important.

"Oh, Mr. Daniel? He's her godbrother. Those two are like family. But since he's her boss and he's older they have to play formal at work."

I missed his satisfied expression, too busy talking to take notice. "She is honestly single. Although everyone thinks her and Charlie were a thing from their high school days. But everyone in the know knows Charlie's in love with a cute intern who works with them. You can say Charlie is trying to put a brown girl in a ring, tralalahaha. He's got a huge thing for Tiana."

(Charlie and Tiana, huh...) Deidara recalled the guy and the girl he'd met just yesterday at Naomi's job and matched their names.

"What about the dark-haired guy?" He did not want to seem so eager to pry but he had qualms about that guy the most of all. He did make Naomi cry yesterday.

"Huh? Who, Charlie?" I tilt my head, confused.

"No, the other one, he's been hovering around Naomi like a bug." Disgust and low levels of apprehension spiced up his tone.

"Um... I don't know who that could be, sorry."

His clear gaze pierces through me. His words casual but his expression serious, Deidara proposes a small question, "What would you think if we got together?"

I blink slowly, the corner of my lips tick, a microscopic grin, I turn my face to the blue skies, to hide it, "You and me? Wellll... you are attractive and all but my hearts set on somebody way smarter and cooler and with a milder temperament and won't blow me up--"

"Why are you like this- Naomi and me!"

Dei was such a testy character, fun to troll, at the risk of being blown up. I give him a big cheesy grin.

"So... what do you think?" He prompts with the teensiest hint of self-consciousness that completely went over my head.

Chalk it up to careless youth, my answer was pretty blunt, "What do I think? Like hell would I ever set her up to be a premature widow!"

Deidara twitches, eyes widening slightly at the shocking 180 on my stance. "If I recall clearly you said the opposite once a short time ago..."

"Did I? Hahahaa..." I did, I remember, but, laughing awkwardly, I feign ignorance. I was hardly serious when I said it. Oh well, can't do anything about it now.

"Well if you promised not to blow your blonde-self up I wouldn't bat an eye at the thought but you're a heart risk. How would you like it if you started going out with someone and they blew themselves up? You wouldn't like it, now would you?" I'm in lecture mode, love wasn't all sunshine and umbrella drinks, you know? Feelings can be fatal.

But of course, Deidara would take my advice with a grain of salt.

He rubs his chin, intrigued by the thought, "It would be a work of art. A true display of their eternal love and devotion to me and my art! Hmm, hmm!" He nods briskly in approval.

I gape at him, shook beyond life itself, "You're kidding...aren't you?"

He does not answer and that smile he gives me is too ambiguous to decipher.

"Don't you turn my cousin into some firework show, you simpleton!" I roll my eyes, done with this idiot.

"Ah." Like lightning, it came back to mind, the reason why I started this discussion. I had forgotten about myself while listening to Deidara's story.

My heart pounds, quickens, and skips, a lump grows in my throat.

"So..." I start slowly, poking my pointer fingers together. I pull in Deidara's attention.

"Hm?" My fidgeting was creeping Deidara out, "...What?"

Antsy, I couldn't keep my gaze from flickering all over the place, my eyes went in every direction and I was unable to look in his face as I talk. Aww I think I might be blushing oh man oh no...

"About the guy I like..."

"Gaara." Deidara fills in with a snap of his fingers.

CHIGAU \(⋋▂⋌)/

He was wrong, so wrong, beyond WRONG!

"Noooooooo!" o(≧o≦)o I flail my arms, bouncing on the branch, expressing myself with my whole body, "It's not him!"

"Huh?"

"It is not him..." I stress my point before I sigh. What a misunderstanding.

"...?" It was Deidara's turn to tilt in head in curiousity and confusion.

"I know you think Gaara is cute and all, your words not mine, but seriously you got it all wrong. I don't have those sorts of feelings for Gaara. It's... well...You know... the um... the boy who showed up on the same day Gaara did?"

Deidara's eyes widen in mild surprise as scepticism laced his remark, "The boring looking ponytail guy?"

Okay, um, ouch, offended on his behalf over here. Deidara wipes the shy expression clean off my face- I pout heavily.

"He is not 'boring looking' you freakin-" I Samurai-Slice* Deidara in the throat.

[A/N: *youtuber/CoryxKenshin]

He makes a guttural sound of shock and began coughing up a storm, "Kuh, kuh, kuh, r-respect y-your e-elders, kuh, punk!" He chokes out in a raspy voice, eyes watery from pain.

Without any remorse, I set my chin stubbornly, "I didn't bring it up to get judgement on my tastes... Listen Dei, I just want someone to talk to about it."

"What am I, a diary?" He croaks out through his dented windpipe whilst giving me the stink eye.

"I listened to your romantic drabble! I opened the discussion! The least you can do--" I start whining childishly but my glare was below zero harsh.

"Alright, alright!" He caves, flicking me in the forehead to get me to quit bitching about it. "What do you want to talk about?" Honestly advice wasn't his forte but he was all ears.

I pick sand from my fingernail as I slowly began talking, "I can't talk to him."

"I find that impossible to believe." 😑 Hugh girl grizzlies were aggressive, he'd seen it first-hand.

My blue eyes spiralled with attitude, "Honestly Deiiii, be seriooous!"

He was. Dead serious. But he digressed.

"So yeah the main problem I'm facing is communication." Although I am being open, there are still things I can't say. He's not a diary after all... I looked all no-nonsense and strictly business but I was nervous. Somehow. Siiigh. I am too tense. This inability to speak with Shikamaru has me so rattled that I had to have this talk.

I purse my lips and speak in a slight moody grumble, "You know, I had my own vision... I entertained the idea that he could show up randomly like you guys did. And I never pictured myself being unable to talk with him. I don't even understand why I can't. Because come on! He is my bae, man crush monday-forever-and-always, I tell ya dat. My one true husbando." Cupping my face in the palm of my hands, I brood on the subject.

"Maybe you're just afraid of the risk?"

"Y-yeah...? C-Could be..." I look down meekly. (Sadly, it could very much be just that.) Maybe I'm shying away from Shika because I unconsciously realised my feelings were deeper than casual infatuation.

(She isn't like her usual self, hm... I don't know how to handle this mood-) "What, have you never had feeling for anyone before?"

I stiffen, and then I answer slowly, reluctantly, "No. I have. Had. Once." I was getting gloomier by each word leaving my mouth. "Once I had a boyfriend. But my now-ex-best-friend stole him and then he died before I could get closure." When I was a kid my first friend was a girl named Marissa... She betrayed me, she took my boyfriend and he uh, died before I could come to terms with what happened. I lost two friends in one go.

(Damn...) Deidara a sharp intake of breath. He tries to keep his surprise minimal to be considerate but I dropped a heavy bomb on him so casually he doesn't know how best to react. (I'm slow dancing on some real landmines, hm.)

I exhale shaky breathes, trying to hold in my emotions. I really didn't want to be crying right now. The rush of tears forced me to turn my head and quickly brush them away. It is still difficult to talk about. I thought if I spoke about it casually I wouldn't get emotional but... I hate to admit it but I may still have emotional scars.

A few rough awkward pats land on my head. It was awkward and embarrassing, nevertheless, the action made my heart swell with gratitude.

I steal a glance and he catches me looking.

"Wow, I'm being comforted, haha, it makes me ticklish."

"Well, don't count on it happening often, hm."

I smile warmly as his hand returns to his side.

"Who knew you could be cool, huh. And to think there was a time I hated all blondes."

(What? That was out of the blue...) He blinks, pointing at himself, as if saying say it ain't so, "No way..."

I quickly clarify, "For a time! Just a phase! It's not like that was healthy... I couldn't go on unjustly hating all blondes forever..." I accidently let slip about my dark days when I didn't mean to. I blush, embarrassment flooding my face as I thought about my childish ways, which I had luckily matured from.

To be real, Marissa had ruined all blondes for me and I'd religiously believed they were satan's spawns. Although, that view got challenged when I started watching Naruto.

It's funny, Naruto was the first anime that I got into. It wasn't the first anime I saw but it was one with the greatest impact. Seeing Naruto being mistreated and rejected over something he couldn't control opened my heart. I empathized with his hurt, his pain having known my own and I self-reflected over my bitterness towards Marissa.

Thinking back on it, Naruto was the first blonde to make merealise my blonde-hatred was unfair. For a time, I even had a crush on that annoying blonde, knuckle headed ninja.

That spring after JC died, a time when my blonde prejudice had me guarded, I met my two best friends, Alexis Colebrook and Ashley Nottage. Alex is a blonde and although Ash isn't blonde her hair is still light, almost like a honey brown. It wasn't a smooth transition but we bonded over anime-- the only thing that made me feel at ease after JC was gone.

Hmm, I truly love and appreciate Naruto. His show helped me through a lot, helped me meet my best friends and made me realise it was possible to love again after a heartbreak. After that I had so many anime crushes I may have lost count.

Maybe my scars don't run so deep after all...

I started to laugh at the thought making Deidara raise his brow. I wave him off, telling him I remembered a joke. But I soon return to sober thoughts.

Marissa.

Naruto's influence wasn't enough to make me forgive her. That won't be resolved unless we, Marissa and I, talk things through.

That was something I had to deal with on my own, eventually.

I stretch out on the fallen trunk in a haphazard fashion. Hearing my joints pop, I groan. We've been sitting on this thing for a good minute, I'm sure it will have left imprints all over my thighs.

"Urgh, I hate it. Why can I talk to you and every other guy, easy-peasy, but not Shikamaru? It's stupid! Right? I've never ever, ever, ever been tongue tied over a boy before. Muddasick, it's pissing me off."

Deidara shrugs, "Hell if I know, hm."

I sigh again, "But my feelings of attraction are already... there... you know... so... uh... why does my body clam up, man!"

"I don't get the complicated stuff. Art is a bang and so is love! Just let your feeling burst out and knock him off his feet with no regrets."

I sit right up, springing into his face, "Haaaaah?! Easier said than done, idiot! Wait- listen to your own damn advice first, you reckless, junky bomber!" (That was some wild advice! What the heck was he telling me to do?)

"There's no way I can..." Deidara strokes his chin in thought. (Or maybe...)

"Hah?! 'No way you can--'?? Then why tell others to do it?" I cross my arms in an exasperated huff, grumbling about dumb blonde bombers through my pouty lips, not noticing Deidara tossing an options salad in his head, pondering, reconsidering.

"I change my mind." His words slip past his lips just above a whisper. (I decided to do what the hell I wanted to, didn't I, hn. I got to start acting like it.)

"You know what, I will do it! Hm, Hm!" In Deidara's grey-blue gaze there was clarity and a wry acquiescence to what fate would have of him in the future. He was going to honour his feelings, whether they bore fruit or not.

"Wha-? Hah... really... Well if you can then maybe..." My stammer of words tapers off, my wide cerulean eyes focused on him.

A young man, nineteen, following his crazy heart. Beautifully simple. His youthfulness made him sparkle a bit. It makes my mouth run dry from gaping, awestruck and envious. Envious because in contrast, I, instead of having youthfulness, was frozen in time. I was supposed to sparkle as well... I'm only fifteen.

I never thought about this. I barely talked about what happened with JC since it took place. It is no surprise I haven't dealt with my baggage. The only person I wanted to talk it over with, who had more insight to it than me, who hurt me and then shut me out, was Marissa.

It all just sat inside like unpacked clothing after a long trip. I don't deal with it, promising myself I'll unpack it but I never do and left it shoved in a corner of my closet.

It is starting to feel like I'm holding tightly to this wound in my heart because it is my last connection to JC.

I've learned something new about myself it seems.

I can't look back on the scar of lost love if I've deterred the wound from even closing, naturally, like it should. Shouldn't I try to release this pain?

I can't let a wannabe grandpa like Deidara beat me! But first things first. I need to let my heart heal. Then and only then would I be up to snatching Shikamaru's! Time to pull up my britches and get to work!

"What's up with that moronic grin?" Deidara asks while sporting a goofy grin of his own ironically. He was looking at me now, with an eyebrow arched in question.

"Nothing~! Just glad we had this talk." I confess, hooking my arm with his and smiling at him, more grateful than he knew.

It seemed like together we found our answer that day on top of the fallen tree and enveloped by the crisp sea breeze.

The bomb was set but the fuse was long...

(to be continued...)

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