Episode 24  --> Mr. Sea-Weenie & Me!

[START]

Randomly I noticed that I can smell my brother's shampoo coming from Kiba's head as I rub it. I swear when he gets back here and see all his stuff missing he's going to have a cow and fling burgers at me being the touchy little heifer he is. 

I suddenly remembered his call to the house the other afternoon. 

I wonder what he wanted to say back then.... I pondered absentmindedly but just shrugged it off and continued petting Kiba. Kiba seemed to enjoy my soft touches because he snuggled closer to my hand. I smiled at his sleep softened expression. Boys are so cute when they're not loud and obnoxious. But I guess the same can be said for girls. (^.^)

(=wO)

My fingers paused in Kiba's hair. Tee hee hee. Like Gru* once said, "Light bulb!"

Following a mischievous impulse I grabbed my little backpack, careful not to damage the goods (yaoi) and pulled out the key to my ingenious plan.

"Muhahahaha." The vial glistened in the sunlight. I uncorked the vial, leaned in toward Kiba's sleeping face and--

Kiba’s nose twitched. I let out a loud yelp in surprise when his hand seized my wrist. His eyes opened, his sharp gaze intense and tinged with a hint of suspicion.

"...Mmmorning sunshiiiine...hehheh" ('^3^) Damn he'd only been half asleep! I should have checked...

Groggily Kiba glared at me.

“Natalya…? What are you up to?” Kiba rubbed the (figurative) sand from his eyes with one hand and kept mine grasped tightly in the other. He let off a huge, manly yawn before he repeated his sleepy question more alert and accusing. "What were you up to?”

I laughed awkwardlu/nervously. “Your red-marking-triangle-tattoos looked a little faded so I thought I would color them in with a bit of red nail polish and/or red lip stick if you would prefer…” 

He plucked the strong smelling nail coloring solution from my hands and hid it away from my mischievous grasp. Once it was away from my mischievous clutches Kiba released my hand.

“No, no, just no.” He groaned and turned over to snuggle into my lap that he burrowed in the place of a pillow.

“I would have so drawn something inappropriate.” I confessed with a evil smile.

“Typically.” 

I snickered at his immediate agreement and stabbed his cheek with my pinky finger, “I know right! Hey lazy buns why don’t you want to go swim or… frolic?” 

"Nah... I'm trying to clear my mind before stepping back out into society."

“What…?” I blinked numerous times and furrowed my brow in confusion. “And here I thought you were napping…” 

Kiba propped himself up on his elbow, tilted his head to the side and stared me in the eyes as he spoke. "Who knew..." 

"Who knew what?" I humored him, perplexed by his vague words. 

Kiba's expressionless gaze broke into a cheeky smirk, "That you were a giant perv!"

"Gah!" Undeniably miffed I pouted and blushed finally understanding what he had been babbling on about. I let my guard down too soon! 

"No I'm noooot!"

"Yea... You are." Kiba got off his elbows, placed them behind his head and plopped back down onto my lap.

"No! I just have a... guilty pleasure, baka." I argued shaking my fist in a tantrum.

o(>3<)-o

"Thats just so wrong." Kiba shuddered making me roll my eyes.

"Frig you!" I huffed and hid my backpack before he noticed it and it lead to a search that lead to him discovering my yaoi stash hidden in there.

"Have you been... imaging... us...?" He sat up suddenly looking at me with scared eyes and mouth agape. My eyelid twitch in pure annoyance.

"No..." I deadpanned with a tired sigh.

Kiba relaxed again slowly returning to using my lap and heaved a sigh.

"Geezuz, nobody's safe with a Fujoshi around! Erotica-Natalya. Hentai-Natalya. Ecchi-Natalya. Ero-ecchi!"

"Shuddup you mutt licker!" I bent over and squeezed his big head with all of my might. He tapped out and I let go.

"Oh, low blow!" He laughed and shoved his elbow into my gut. "Ero-ecchi~!"

I nudge him back, hard.

"Bitc--"

"Hey, hey, hey, you're taking the dog jokes too far with that one." Kiba smoothly interjected cutting me off.

Silence fell over us. It must have been comfortable for Kiba but I kept fidgeting because it had been uncomfortable for me. I mean how could I know Kiba is awake and not talk to him? I have to say something! My ninjidiots have neglected me for far too long.

[A/N: Yea, cuz an hour is such a loooong time *eye roll*]

“Kiba…” I called into his ear in a low, secret-telling voice. 

He craned his head back and stared up at me noting the sudden change in my tone. “Yeah?” 

“Don’t tell Naruto…”

Kiba sat up completely this time, the lazy lug, and gazed attentively into me face. I kept a cryptic smile as I coaxed him to lean closer.

“Don’t tell Naruto but you’re my favorite male character! Yay! Feel special, dummie! Yay? YAY!!”

“What? Really?” If he remembered clearly he just asked who were my crushes a day or two ago. Kiba looked me up and down not really believing me. 

For good reasons too, “I mean I do like a whole bunch more of the guys but you have a special slot in my fan-girly heart.” I thumped my sternum twice with a fist and did a peace sign for no explainable reason.

“I take it you don’t mean that romantically.” He settled his head back onto my lap.

“Nope— well… Yeah in a way cuz I think you’re smokin’ and would make a great boyfriend but no… you’re just, you know, cool and stuff.” Like before it was still not the least bit awkward to tell Kiba he was smokin’—in my tastes if not your own. 

“Hm, isn’t that something we all know. I'm just a cool and smokin kind of guy.” Kiba grinned suavely displaying his sharp canines.

“Don’t get cocky.”

“Already there babe.” Kiba winked being the cheeky little bastard he is.

“Whatever, crazy.” I said and rolled my eyes-- which I seem to do often when with Kiba.

“Favorite team?”

“Heh?” Whoa there Kiba, subject change whiplash, ouch.

"Who's team is your favourite: Naruto’s, Shikamaru’s or mine? Which one of the Konoha 9 squads do you like the most. Or maybe you like Lee’s team more? Maybe even Gaara and his sibling from Suna?”

“Well… considering the team has my favorite heroine and a favorite male character I would say…” I pretended to mull over the thought.

“Your team!” I winked and poked out my pink wittle tongue.

“Wow not only am I the favourite guy but my team's your favourite. No love for Naruto." Kiba snickered.

“Hey, I do love Naruto! He’s my favorite guy!”

“Didn’t you just say I was your favorite?” Kiba's happy mood switched quickly. He pouted deeply.

“Yeah, but you’re in a different category altogether!”

“…” Kiba's face looked like he was in pain trying to understand how my brain works.

“Naruto is my favorite in the ‘loveable protagonist/best guy you can have at your side’ category. You are in the ‘all around’ category meaning I can’t pin you to one thing I just like you, call it favoritism.”

Kiba had a ‘you lost me you fan-girlish freak’ blank stare.

“Well it’s not like I can explain it to another person anyway...... but.... Another win for you, my favorite heroine is Hinata! Yay...?" I shook him trying to pep him up.

“What  was that about Hinata?” I smiled as he seemed to come back to earth.

“She is in my ‘favorite Naruto heroine of all time’ category. If I read a Naruto fan-fiction romance then she would have to be the girl involved. I cannot stomach anyone being paired off with Ino or Sakura. Not that I dislike the girls. I like Tenten but never read anything involving her and I’m not sure if I would enjoy them…uh--” I hesitated, stopping mid thought. P.S., I hate Gaara’s sister though for... certain, semi-obvious reasons, but I don't think  I should mention that to Kiba. 

[A/N: Ratchet @ss hoe I don't eff around, if you eff with my man I'll burn your house down *booty shake*]

I never bothered to finish what I had been going to say and trailed off mysteriously.

Kiba just rolled his eyes at me not caring either way and went on a different tangent this time. “Okay, here is what I want to ask, right. Don’t you feel weird calling something ‘a Naruto…’ he is a person so it’s weird to hear his name used as a classification.”

“Huh, I guess—“ I hadn't really thought about it properly and Kiba interrupted me mid thought.

“Wait a better question.” 

“Eh…” Whoa, Mr. Rapidfire.

“You read Hinata romances?” He looked at me showing me how that both amused him and astounded him.

“Hell yesh!! Those are always awesome! Hinata can be paired with anyone— no matter how crack the pairing— and it will still be readable in my mind—as long as it isn’t Orochimaru or any other old twat geezer being paired with her, ew!” Stars were in my sparkly blue eyes as I talked. It was so fun to talk about the things you liked! (o>w<)o

“My favorite guy to pair her up with is always Kiba!” I blurted and blushed with giddiness. “I think it is completely possible for them to be a real couple!!” And it was also easy to forget I was not speaking to a fellow fan-girl.

“Wouldn’t you think— ah…“ I looked down at Kiba and finally I realized there was something to regret.

"WAIT! WHOA! Don't you hear what you're saying, idiot?!" Kiba sat right up. His voice rose in a panic as he looked deep in my eyes, searching. 

"I--I--" I tried to back track but nothing can be said to save me from my embarrassing confession. Color appeared on my cheeks and I avoided Kiba's peering gaze and awkwardly wiped sand from my smooth thighs. Kiba’s cheeks turned a warm, pale red shade while I gnawed on my lip guiltily.

Awkwardness passed over us. That is, it passed over us until my devious grin appeared on my lips.

“Why don’t you give it a go?”

“???” Kiba reluctantly looked at me and I bounced my eyebrows at him.

“Ask Hinata out. Pursue her. Get dem seven digits.” I bumped his shoulder with the rounded end of mine and bounced my eyebrows at him some more.

“Tap dat! Wait, nuh-uh, no, touch Hinata inappropriately and I would snap your futting nose clean off your futting face.” I gave him the murderous psycho look along with the ghetto mama neck roll. "Touch her any way inappropriate and I kill you. I kill you good."

Kiba snorted at me. “No way I would waste my time doing that anyway, you twisted fangirl. Our lovely Hinata is surely safe from this guy!”

“Aw man! At least consider though—“ I would love, love, loooove the KibaHina fanservice!

“Nope.” Kiba shook his head. "Never."

“Sonofaditch.” I grumbled.

“Daughterofaquimp” Kiba shot back and I gasped, offended by these lewd allegations! The nerve of this guy! Argh!

“My daddy een no pimp!” 

“I said Quimp. Who said anything about him being a pimp? Surely not I.” Kiba looked away innocently.

I gave him a twitchy-eyed glare and squared my shoulders haughtily. 

“Well it doesn’t matter what you say. Hmph! You end up with Hinata in the end anyway!” I folded my arms stubbornly. Lord if I die right now I’m going to hell for lying to this boy-- 

“Liar." Kiba said it readily as if my lie was so obviously a lie he had to shake his head at my sad attempt at lying.

"Ah! Well I never!" I scoffed and sputtered as if flabergasted. "You end up with her!" I tried to convince him since I was offended on behave of the KibaHina community. 

"No way. You're lying." He readily denied and folded his arms defiantly.

Although I still haven't comepletely watched Naruto Shippuden so I guess my credibility was pretty low.  

"I'm trying to give you the right incentives and you reward my good will by calling me a liar?!" 

Kiba gave me a 'oh good lord' look and eye roll.

"Good will? Pah, more like deranged fan-girl babble. Just look at the crap you're already into. What's next? God forbid you think Shino & I are hot together--"

[A/N: God forbidden Kishimoto pairs him up with someone even more unbelievable like, oh I dunno, a girl with a bunch of cats or something...  But that's none of my business. *sips tea* ]

Suddenly everything was hilarious and I started laughing uncontrollably.

"I swear you get on my last nerves you little..." I got to my knees and punched him in his stomach knocking the air out of him.

"Ughhh... right back at ya!" He rubbed his gut but replied with a small grin. He dropped in an Indian style and I followed suit. However, we didn't stay put for too long. Kiba rolled his eyes but then he took a double-take and then he looked everywhere but in my direction.

"Wait...! Holy hell! Why are you in your underwear?!?!" As if he only just noticed the red faced Inuzuka jumped up and wiggled a finger at me. "Cover yourself woman there are young pups present!"

"Don't wanna." I stuck my tongue out at him. 

"I can not believe my friend is such a little deviate! You really live up to your title, Ero-Ecchi...!" He peaked down at me with a devilish grin knowing I wasn't one to take teasing lightly.

"Oh, low jab!" I launched at him with a shrill battle cry ready to claw his eyes out. I brought him down and sat on his stomach. We started wrestling in the sand.

"You just couldn't resist that little jab, huh! Stupid Kibby--! Take that back!! Grr-ah-grr-ugh--!!

"HAHAHAHAHA~!!" I'm sure his loud laughter could be heard by the others down at the beach. "Never you damn ero-ecchi, grrrrrrr-hmph-gah!!!"

"I'M NOT ERO-ECCHI!!!!!" At that exact moment of my outburst Kiba overpowered me. He flipped us over which caused me to cry out. He smirked down at me. With a huff I blew my disheveled hair from out of my face.

It was a really compromising position too, the dog!

"You win, get off of me--" I began to sit up but Kiba who held my wrist loosely tightened his hand around them and pinned me down.

"Dammit, let me up!" I immediately struggled but when he leaned in too close I stiffened.

"First....admit it." With my back pressed firmly against the sand, my arms trapped and Kiba on top of me he had me at a disadvantage.

"Admit what?" I asked snappishly hating this helplessness all to Kiba's unbridled joy and amusement.

"Admit that... you're an ero-ecchi!" I opened my mouth to politely tell him to go blow a dog, because as Ken Castro** says, its not rape if you blow something, but my chance died the moment he started sniffing my neck.

"Ah!" I shriek at the tickling sensation and began squirming underneath him.

I bit my lips trying to hold in my laughter to fight Kiba off but it was fruitless.

"Okay, hahaha, please, release me! You win!" I surrendered with great reluctance and shame.

"Say it."

I pouted at him and Kiba raised his brow.

I frowned deeply and looked away from his prying eyes.

"I'm an Ero-Ecchi............." I grimaced even as the vile words left my mouth. Blergh, it left a bad taste too.

Kiba pulled away with a triumphant smile that showed all his teeth.

"Good!"

“You’re sooo like a puppy Kiba its infuriating. Its not polite to sniff people!”

“Tch. What is with you? You say things that could really tick a fella off!" Kiba growled low in his throat and slowly released my wrists.

"You know you love it!" I told him and rubbed my freed hands. Kiba shifted to roll off of me and I moved at the same moment.

"Whoa!" Kiba weaved when he should have bobbed and I bobbed when I should have weaved and Kiba suddenly embraced me. I turned red instantly at the sudden contact and I was reminded, hey today you wore your underwear as a bathing suit! I can't lie my heart skipped a beat as I felt Kiba's weight fall on my body. He might have been a character from an anime but he was a boy after all.

"Klutz!" Ha, Kiba, candid as ever. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Its Kiba! I reminded myself and shook my head. No little heart, we do not skip for this one, he is a baka after all.

"Hahaha, get off of me, you rapist!" I joked.

"You wish I was, Ero-Ecchi!" Kiba chided playfully and began untangling our limbs.

"Kya! Watch where you're touching." I punched him and giggled. "Whose the perv here? Now hurry up and mo--" At that moment someone's long legs came into my peripheral. I didn't have the privilege of being surprised yet and the person had already began to speak.

“Um... not to interrupt but Natalya…?” 

My eyes sprung out of my head at the sudden sound of a third voice and I lost all my color when I realized it belonged to Shikamaru.

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~KYAAAAAAAAA!” A chill travelling down my spine in my shock and I bristled like a cat. Like a bolt of lightening I was too my feet and out from under Kiba in a heartbeat.

Shikamaru who had just called my name and Kiba who had just went let me go both stared at me funny.

"Are you okay...??" Shikamaru asked slowly eyeing me in confusion and concern.

Panting and looking like a sick dog I tried to dismiss any concern my reaction may have brought about in the young man and posed nonchalantly against a tree.

”No, no, I’m fine. A crab bit my patty, man. It just bit my patty.”  I mentally cringed at how lame I must have sounded. There was a vacant stare in Kiba’s eyes. He was obviously subliminally messaging me the words, “WTF r u saying u, r u a fool?’ but I didn’t need his input. 

I hissed at Kiba and he jumped back like I had rabies. "What did I do?!" 

Its his fault my heart is hammering away! It was such a compromising position! I could crawl in a hole with that imaginary crab who bit my patty. Arghh...

“Didn’t you see it…?” I asked breathlessly, “…the crab…?”

Shikamaru and a cautious Kiba shook their heads. 

“No…? Alright…” I said when I met their gazes which was vacant only to break all eye contact and stare at my feet awkwardly. I started to feel frustrated in this moment. I couldn't socialize with Shika like I do around the others. I was becoming quite aware of that little fact. And I like him so much too! What I didn't tell Kiba is that Shikamaru was in the 'Stole my heart/Love of my life' category...

"I had a question and Naomi told me you were the one to ask about it..." Shikamaru began not noticing my inner turmoil that he'd stirred up. I look up in shock at hearing him continue to talk to me. I glanced around in desperation but there was no escape. I swallowed, hard. (O3O) Oh ma gawd, oh ma gawd he's talking to me- ohhhh. I was malfunctioning. I wasn't ready! (>3<)

Remembering what he had actually said to me after a retarded moment of floundering my memories I spoke up."Oh, um, she did huh...." 

I glanced beyond Shikamaru and saw Naomi a small distance off. She waved at me so sweetly the little crook! I gave her a stink look before turning my attention back on the love of my life's face.

"Oh yes! Yes is that right?" I said stiffly snapping back to attention.

"Its just one thing that's bothered me since I got here--!" 

I panicked.

"Uh, come--!" Even though it was impossible to look him in the eyes I miraculously managed to take his hand in my own and pulled him along. I just know my palms were sweating, kyahh~! (>//<) My slim and tan finger wrapped firmly around three of his thicker and manlier fingers firmly like I wasn't 'dying' inside! Okay not so much 'firmly... I lied my fingers were trembling like wet, shaky leaves! Don't notice. Please don't notice. I prayed and he allowed me to tug him along without a single voiced compliant. I could feel the heat shared between our fingers and I smiled unconciously to myself despite the rapid thumping of my heart.

Naomi who had obviously sent Shikamaru over to me just to get us closer pouted directly at me when she saw me bring Shikamaru back over to them instead of monopolize him like I probably should have.  Here, take him back! Sorry, I'm spineless at this moment I just can't face him.(>//<)

I stood before everyone forgetting to release Shikamaru's hand.

"Let's put all that talk away for later, kay." Not able to say these words directly to him I declared this to the group at large after a moment of recollecting my nerve. "I know we are all excited that Gaara and Shikamaru joined us but lets not get too carried away! We still haven't discovered anything new; we just discussed this the other day. There are no new developments so yeah..." 

I nodded and dropped Shikamaru's hand and made a hasty retreat. "Have fun, okay..." I tried to escape but I got scoped up before I can execute that escape plan.

"Nat-chan!" A shirtless Choji suddenly hugged me and spun me around. I squealed.

"Oh, gross, Teddybear~! You got boy boobies in my eyes!" I laughed as he released me. I staggered back and nursed my violated eyes, smiling mindlessly, before I bumped into someone.

"Eeep!" Hinata made a little sound from behind me. 

She was draped in a hoodie and did not look as much exposed as before.

"Hina-love, are you mad?" I ask with a sad baby voice and stared at her with the guilty puppy eyes. 

She shook her head and gave me a sweet smile, "Why would I be?"

"I wuv you!!" I cooed and hugged her with a generous squeeze.

"Its not like she stripped you against your will or anything..."

"Hush, bug boy!" I laughed and glared at Shino. He turned around like he hadn't said a thing. I swear this boys personality shows itself more and more with each passing day.

"Well if its you Shino you would hold that grudge for months so you wouldn't understand the love and forgiveness of a twin!"

At that moment something wet touched the back of my ankle and I jumped.

"Oh!" I looked down expecting a seaweed monster but found Akamaru. I reached down and ruffled his wet ears and he spun and ran off happily.

"No Aka-chan we don't lick crazies." Kiba told the confused dog and hide him from me like a mother would hide her child from a pervert in the park. This way Sally, we don't talk to strangers.

Not to mention Naruto wouldn't even get near me.

"What am I gonna do with you all." I shake my head at them with a natural grin.

I was so busy falling into step with everyone else I didn't realize how I totally blew Shikamaru off. [A/N: Or that our beloved Kazekage has been MIA for a while now... but that's none of my business... *sips tea*]

"I guess I'll ask about it later then." Shikamaru spoke up out of the blue. I spun to get a glimpse of him but his back was already to me by the time I looked. I let out a noiseless sigh and squeezed my damp palms together unsure if it was okay to leave things that way but unable to do anything else. I wonder if he took that the wrong way...?

“Just go play everyone!” I faked a carefree smile and threw up my arms.

"OIII!!!!" Everyone cheered in their own way and I gave one more awkward smile before leaving them to it. I went back to where I had been before with Kiba. Kiba had followed me to the others and was no longer there. So I was alone. Now alone I sat down and berated myself.

"Kyaaaa!!!" I groaned, squeezing my face in my hands. "He's just a guy!" I cried making a few birds take flight. I bit my thumb and gnawed my  bottom lip. "It's not like you're 'In Luv', baka!" I smacked my cheeks to wake myself up. I sook myself out of it. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, whoo, whoo, hah, hah. Good. "I don't have to get a relationship out of him being here but I should be flirting his pineapple head off like I do with Kiba! Yeah! That's how it should be!" I nodded passionately. I stewed on that for a few seconds and my facial expressions shifted dramatically. 

(^w^) (OwO) (-w-) (-_-) (>_<)

"If that really were the case why doesn't it feel natural to flirt with him like it does with Kiba?!?!??" I went from smiling to pulling my hair in a matter of seconds. "KUSO!! Here I am clamming up all the day long!" I whimpered and hugged myself. "I just wanna do pervy stuff to that Nara like its natural, is that too much to ask, hoohoo...." I whimpered sadly like the distressed fan-girl I was. I wrapped my head in my arms and thought deeply. I held out my hand, wiggled my fingers and studied them. I managed to crack a smile.

"..." 

I paused my fan-girl brooding and looked up and stared into the bushes just beyond me. 

"Hmm," I sobbed and crinkled my brows in curiosity. "I swear I heard something..." I didn't see anything so I looked up, down and all around. I looked to the sky, it was still blue. I looked back at the trees and bushes and the sound was coming from yonder. And I wondered... Should I wander? Haha, let me stop thinking like i'm reading a Dr. Suess parody or something and go check that out. If anything happens I have an entire flock of ninja minions! Oh yeah I’m a boss, get my mind off of boys like a boss, yeah, boss!! Is what I thought as I got up, slipped my little backpack on and dusted the sand off of me. Into the bushes we go~! With a bounce in my step I vanished into the bushes... like a boss~~!!

Seriously was I this bad when I liked JC?

My random adventure into the bushes; I shall face perils and countless dangers... LIKE A BOSS.......!

Dun. Dun. Duuuuuun.

;3

~*~

Movie References:

 *Gru: from Despicable Me

**Ken Castro: from Demoted

>***<

[Preview/Sneak Peak:]

Naomi: I think I heard Natalya scream!

Tensions were raised.

Choji: Natalyaaaaaaa!

Promises were made.

Naomi: "Please find her Shikamaru. I'm counting on you." 

Shikamaru: "I'll keep looking"!

And dangers were faced!

*RUSTLING*

Natalya: "KYAAAAAAA!!!!!"

Dun! Dun! Dun!

~Stay tuned for: Chapter 25-> The Hugh Hunt!~

>***<