Episode 12-->Having fun at Deidara’s expense…might just cause me my life! Then again what do I know. My play-date with the Akatsuki! Yay me!!

“We need a place to stay.” Sasori responded without a hitch. O_O You says WHAT NOW?!

“Oh-ho-ho-no… You must be crazy. You’re crazy right? You run out of oxygen in that puppet of yours didn’t you?”

“Sasori-danna… it seems the girl is disrespecting you, un.” Deidara says to Sasori, who just grunts, before he leers at me. “You might as well agree brat! We’re not taking you back to your little home until you say yes, un.”

“Bleh! Kiss my sassafras!” I yelled at the blonde boy… who some fans confuse as a girl. [My god how?! Just because he has long hair doesn’t automatically make him a girl people!]

Deidara gives me a dirty look and a sneer and I secretly flip him off. Gee I really am not a morning person am I? Sorry people! I don’t usually treat the Akatsuki like this! Forgive me nana… FORGIVE ME! IT WAS A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS! What the hell am I running on with LOL! I swear me and my ADD moments.

I coughed back a giggle. I blink as I notice a bug on my nose. My eyes bulge out of my head as I realise it wasn’t just a regular bug but, yes you guessed it, one of Deidara’s explosive bugs.

“YIPE!!” I shrieked swatting at the monstrosity. Get it off! GET IT OFF!

I scream as Deidara said the trigger word to set off the bomb. Ten seconds later I realise my nose was okay. Having to pry my own eyes open they open up to see a smiling Deidara.

“Ops… was that a dud?”

Before I can attempt to murderlize Deidara, Sasori beats me to the punch by A) knocking the wind out of said boy with a random cane to the stomach and B) striking him on the back of his head really hard. I giggled as Deidara rubs his head and pats his tummy…er…pats his head and rubs his tummy? Um… so confused right now…

I laugh at myself and my off-the-track train of thoughts.

“What a waste of time. Quit your foolishness Deidara.” Sasori orders in that raspy voice he has before he leaves us and hobbles over to the back of the bird. He sits down and stares at the horizon. Ok… Wasn’t he even going to negotiate?! I am not agreeing to this. I would love to have the two of them all to myself but there’s a conflict between those two and the guys I already have staying at my house.

I turn back around to Deidara and placed my fist on my waist. I look him up and down with a look of slight antipathy.

“You’re so immature for a 19 year old... Just because I told you to kiss my sassafras you try to blow me up…” I shake my head at him and he shrugs.

“Whatever, un… you had it coming.” I ‘tsk’ under my breath in amusement. What an apathetic response. I frown at him and saw an attractive smirk appear on his face.

“I should introduce you to my cousin Claudette she would totally beat you up for me or maybe Naomi she’s a sweetheart maybe some of her maturity will rub off on you.”

“…” He said nothing. Was there really no response to what I just said?

“Well…” I start to say, moving my hands from my waist and clasped them behind my back, “Since you’re 19 and 19 is my favourite number I’ll let it slide.” I tilt my head to the side and give him a carefree smile.

“I’m so very sorry I stepped on your foot before Deidara.” I push out my bottom lip and bat my eyelashes. “Can you forgive me?” I ask him slightly sarcastic and gave him the puppy dog eye. He seemed annoyed by it.

“Stop that!” He spat glaring as I bounce forward and in his face.

“Why ever so DeiDei-kunnn~” I cooed in a sing-song voice and bat my eyelashes rapidly. “Can’t the big, bad Deidara take the puppy dog eyes?” I tiptoe even closer to him and he leans back.

Deidara glare hardens, “Get… off… of me…Now!” I lean away from him and huff. He might have immature moments but he was no fun.

“Fine…” I chime proceeding to pivot on my heel, with my hands still clasped behind my back, and walked away from him. He watched me questioningly.

Hm… I wonder if the guys back home are wondering where I’m at…? Well as long as they don’t leave the house…I hope they stay put… I don’t want another fangirl to run off with my babies!

I walk to a random edge of the bird, not too far to the edge in risk of falling though, and stared at the almost endless sky. What a view. Ocean as far as the eyes could see, air as fresh as a Honda Accord, and—

“Oooo!! Clouds! Deidara! Take us over to a cloud! I want to touch one!”

I twirl around my eyes childlike and wide. My grin dipped south as I look up and he was standing right behind me. 

--

“OK PEOPLE!!!” Naruto erupted staring at his fellow ninjas from him place on top of my kitchen table.

“We are in a strange place, nowhere near home, we know no one but…” He took a suspenseful pause, “our host has gone missing! So what are we going to do??!!”

He looked at everyone with a fiery determination.

“We find Natalya!!” Everyone chorused.

“Right!” Naruto pumped his fist in the air. “Let’s find her!”

“Here, here!” They all cheered and ran for the door.

“Uff—“ Everyone got propelled backwards and onto their butts.

“What the what!?” Naruto exclaimed springing up and sticking his hand out the door… only for it to hit into to an invisible solid. He feels up and down the ‘air’ but his hand wouldn’t go through.

“You have got to be kidding me!”

--

I did not expect this. But Deidara actually agreed! Yay!

My hair started loosening itself from the messy bun I had put it in as the wind swiped past our faces.

“Hey! My favourite scrunchie!” I yelled as it flew away releasing my dark locks.

“Don’t worry about it yea.” Deidara responded, grunting as he made the bird move sharply to the left.

“Fine…” I mumbled huffily. I bit my lip in concentration as he flied after a cloud. But darn it!! Every time we got close to one it would always float away!

“Oh my god you’re blowing it away you idiot!” I screeched from behind Deidara.

“Hey you said to move in closer. The wings un… The wings are blowing the clouds away.” He advised and, too enthralled with cloud catching I ignore him and point to another cloud, tightening my other hand’s grip on Deidara’s waist. If I didn’t hold onto him I would blow away.

“That way! There’s one over there! Turn that way!”

“Did you not hear what I said? The closer we get the more it moves away.” When he saw he wasn’t getting through to me he rolled his eyes and turned to the other cloud anyway. “I hate backseat drivers un…” 

“Aw man…” I exclaimed throwing myself down onto the clay bird’s back. We stopped after another unsuccessful chase. Those clouds just refused to stay still! The wings of the darn bird blew too much air! So much for my dream... I let out a defeated moan and put my arm over my face against the sun. It was at a good part of the morning now and the sun was showcasing its summer time heat.

“Why do you want to touch a cloud? I think it’s stupid, hmm.” Deidara hummed as he took a seat beside my sprawled out form.

“It one of those impossible feats that you can’t help wanting to do and wish you could do simply because you know you can’t… Get what I mean?” I explained pushing myself up into a sitting position.

“I guess un…” He replied blinking as he looked at me. “What else is on this list of impossible things to accomplish you’ve got?”

“Well I want to hold a seagull.”

Deidara’s face at the moment: =.='

“For the fifteen years I’ve been alive those little buggers fly around and I’ve never held one once!” I said passionately.

“Eh-heh… you have weird goals…”

“Oh whatever…” I scoff staring off longingly at an idle cloud. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, preoccupying myself with loosening the tangles.

“Here un…” Deidara said and I turn to look at him.

“Huh?” I look at his outstretched hand to see a misshapen piece of clay which upon close examination was actually a handcrafted scrunchie.

“Oh Deidara! — Wait it’s not going to explode is it?” I ask giving it a wary glance.

“Just take it.” He replied irritably and drops it into my palm.

I rub my thumb against it expecting clay to come off but strangely it was just smooth. I study it a bit more shifting it around in the palm of my hand before smiling at him and putting it on. I put my hair in a ponytail and was happy it was out of my face again.

“Thanks Deidara.” I said smiling again as he nods his head. It was quiet as I was in a world of my own thinking about how to sneak up on an easily startled cloud while Deidara was busy staring at the scenery.

“Beautiful.” He whispered on a sigh and I nod my head.

“Thanks.”I mumbled back distractedly.

He gave me a weird look. “Not you!”

“Ouch I am hurt to the core…”I droned still distracted by my thoughts. “Your words… they hurt like a paper cut.”

He shakes his head at me. “Chica you a freak-a.” He said chuckling and I suck my teeth. Annoying blonde…

It was only quiet for a short period before Deidara broke it.

“Now that you’re done chasing clouds how about you tell me about my future.” He said sparking up a converstion. I gave him a startled look.

“Your future?” I was puzzled until I remembered. “Oh your future! You mean ‘cuz I watched the anime and you were in it and stuff, yea…” I babbled dumbly and he gave me an impatient glare.

“I know you watch us on TV, un. Though everyone looked young from what I saw but I know you know me and I know you know stuff that is going to happen to me. So tell about my future yea.”

“Correction I watch most of the episodes— ah like you really give a who…” I shake my head solemnly before answering. He wanted to know well I’ll tell him.

“Uh… pretty much you die in the anime if I remember correctly… and your death, my dear sir, was entirely your fault.” I said being quite blunt.

Deidara visibly blanches. This new piece of information sends him into a hyper jitter, “What about Sasori?”

“O yeah…” I said remembering something I should have never forgottten and no it wasn’t about Sasori... A flash passes in my eyes that Deidara misses completely. “He dies to.” His jaw drops. Both he and Sasori… dead? But he was alive right now?! They both were… How could it be?

Deidara seemed deep in thought absorbing his supposed fate. Glad that he was distracted by it a malicous grin appears on my face. I tiptoe over to him and I push Deidara over the edge of his huge bird.

“WHAT THE HELL UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN…!” He screams arms flailing around him as he falls… and falls… and falls—it was his own bad for going up so high on this condemned thing.

‘That’s for hurting my Gaara ya bastard!’ I snicker to myself as I’m waving at the plummeting Deidara.

Before he hits the crystal blue water below one of his creations swoops in and rescues him. My waving slows and I paled as an irked artist/bomber ascends towards me in a fast pace. I spin around from the edge as he shoots up. The strong wind that came behind him sent me to my hands and knees. I clutch onto the clay bird for dear life. Ew, clay went under my nails…

Looking over my shoulders I see him seething and stomping towards me.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,” I repeat as I scurry over to Sasori just before Deidara had a chance to get a hold of me. Sasori was so busy enjoying the view that he missed everything that just transpired. When I was suddenly by his side and clutching onto him for dear life he was more than a little shocked.

“I thought you were allergic to wood?”

“Ah!SasoriMeDeidaraPushGonnaMurderME!!HELP!AH!!” He only got chops and bits of my ramble of words that were nowhere close to completing a complete thought.

I let out a shrill squeal as Deidara launched at me. I duck so I was hiding safely, using Sasori/Hiruko as a shield. I jump up and start running around the top of the bird with Deidara behind me. We made continous circles like a cat and mouse from a cartoon before Deidara stopped suddenly and because I was still running in the course of the circle I ended up crashing into him.

“AH! Don’t touch me there!! RAPIST!” I screamed just to throw him off, which it did, and I literally threw him off too via shoving him off the edge, before I ran back to Sasori. Frantically I start feeling along the Hiruko puppet trying to find a hatch or something. I found something like a button and I pressed it...repeatedly. A small compartment pops open. It wouldn’t open fully though. It was barely big enough for a toddler to squeeze through. I grab the jammed lid and try to pry the darn thing open. Suddenly a hand pops out and holds onto the latch I was trying to open.

“What are you doing.” A deep—maybe a little silky—voice asks from the inside of Hiruko.  

“Hi real Sasori, um… can you let me in please? Deidara is going to kill me!”

“He won’t kill you… you are very vital to us now.” Oh I like his voice! I wonder who is his english voice actor? More important things Natalya! I shake my head and start pulling the latch again.

“Puh-lease!” I scoff spitefully, yanking at it harder, “You can find anyone’s house to crash at, I am not that important. Now let me in because I don’t want to die.”

Sasori thinks about it. His teammate was reckless… But would he allow someone else into his precious puppet?

Sasori’s hand slithers back into the dark innards of the puppet and I lean over to get a glimpse inside a hopeful look in my eyes. The hatch slams shut and I start bamming on the puppet.

“WHY FORSAKE ME SO!” In my mind anime tears were strolling down my cheeks at that moment. “Sasori!” I whined my bottom lip pushed out and quivering. My body jerks in surprise as hands slam on either sides of me. I saw a pair of hands spread palm out against Hiruko. I turn around quickly and came face to face with a soak and wet AND angry Deidara. I was cagged in and trapped between him and Hiruko… daaaang…

I laugh nervously. “Hehe… so you weren’t saved this time huh?” I watch as seawater trickles down his forehead, nose and chin.

“No…” He hisses leaning in closer forcing me to lean back against Sasori McMeanie. “You know you’re going to pay for that right, yeah?”

I shrink a bit and wriggle around uncomfortably. “Maybe… or we can just put this all behind us. Didn’t I ever tell you you’re my favourite Akatsuki? Despite the fact you technically killed someone dear to me.”

“You’re just lying to save your ass, un.”

And here I was telling the truth dred!

“Fine then… if I’m going down… YOUR ART SUCKS!!” I spit out and his eyes go murderous. “Yeah I said it!” I didn’t mean it though. Just aiming for low blows… low blows. I’m going out with a bang, baby. [Hehe deidara’s catchphrase comes to mind] Deidara seizes my neck. At the same time the latch behind me springs open. Deidara grabs air. I scream as I’m dragged inside of Hiruko. The latch slams back close. Deidara is confused. I realise I’m in darkness… then I’m confused.

“Suicide.” I hear a voice grumble and I groan before trying to sit up. I see stars as I bang my head on something. It was cramped in here. Lucky thing I’m not Claustrophobic! I’m not right…?

“Wha…?” I question as I hold my head and my eyeballs bounced around my sockets.

I heard a rather cute and airy chuckle. “I said telling that to someone with that reverence for his art as much as he is suicide.” I blush for no reason other than because Sasori sounded so cute. It was a blush of giddiness. Ah man! I’m a pedo! He’s like a year younger than me! Wait isn’t he the pedo because in technical terms he’s actually 30 odd years old… No wait that just means I’m a reverse pervert… Oh well.

“Why did you anger Deidara?” Sasori asked.

“Because I was mad.”

“Why were you mad?”

“Because you two practically killed someone I really liked! And Deidara was close by so it was easy to bitch him with a hearty helping of payback.”

“Oh…Ok…Who was it that we killed?”

“You know just who I mean don’t play coy with me!”

“I really don’t know who.”

“You jack-rabbits-in-a-hole killed Gaara. Lucky for Sakura and that granny they managed to save him!”

“The host of the one-tailed demon? Kazekage of the Sand?” He seemed genuinely surprised about what I was saying. Does that mean he and Deidara’s mission succeeded?

“Yes him… Wait if— Oh… since you don’t know anything about that and the fact that you’re still here must mean it hasn’t happened yet. Herm… maybe the characters that pop up early came from early episodes of Shippuden.”

Sasori didn’t know what to think of me and what I was babbling on about.

“Shall we exit Hiruko?”

“But Deidara—“

“Hm… I won’t allow him to bring any harm to you.”

“Thanks Sasori-danna!” I said happily addressing him the same way I remember Deidara does. I was still a little sceptical though because by the sound of the pounding and violent shouts of Deidara he seemed pretty pissed… and if I were to get out now… gulp…

“Do not damage my puppet Deidara…” Sasori warned sharply as he pushed the compartment open and I saw daylight.

“My eyes!” I screeched half joking. Before I can blink someone grabbed me by the bend of my elbow, presumably Deidara, and yanked me out of Hiruko.

”Deidara.” Sasori warned and I vaguely register that he had a kunai to my neck. “She did not mean what she said she was just upset. Turns out she’s friend with the Kazekage.”

Deidara went still before I felt his chest vibrate when he talked.

“You mean the guy we were supposed to retract the One-tailed Shukaku from?!” He shouted in disbelief.

“Well I won’t say I know him personally but— Yeah. I’m pretty sure if he saw me he would not know who I was…”

“Then—“

“But he’s one of my most favourite characters and you guys hurt him so there!” I spat childishly and Deidara lets me go.

“But we haven’t even completed that mission yet, un!”

I blink and nod my head. “Well I realise that now!”

We just stared at each other for a bit before Sasori sigh broke in. “Are you agreeing to let us stay now. We’ve wasted enough time out here…”

Omg I just realised the real Sasori is out of Hiruko!! Omg fangirl squee!! SQUEEEEE!! I don’t want to be a reverse pervert so I won’t mention how hot he is.

“You know what just occurred to me though…” They look at me and raised their brows. “Do you guys even know how to get back to my house?” It really just came to me. They just recently got here and we’re miles out at sea. Unless they have a GPS it will be hard to know their way back. And plus I had Deidara helping me chase clouds hehehe, ops. Their faces were smug then it went to panic. I literally heard a beloop sound when their faces fell.

“Well isn’t that great! You guys got us lost!” I fumed. “Why was it so important to kidnap me and fly out this far huh?!”

“Because we knew the position we would have put you in.”

“Heh?”

“It doesn’t take a brainiac to tell that if you, hm, who barely have the trust of the ones you were sheltering, were to suddenly have us appear it your door would look really bad, hn.”

“Wow… and here I thought you were just dumb.”

Sasori’s eye twitched and Deidara bared his teeth at me.

“Well now that you guys got us stuck out at sea why not go swimming with the sharks huh!”

“I will start to splinter.”

“My clay would dissolve!”

I rolled my eyes. “Question was so not meant to be taken seriously! But seriously what are we going to do…”

“You live here you should know the way home.”

“I don’t have a stinking map and GPS system rooted into my brain alright!”

“Gee chill out, hm…”

“O this is hopeless!” I wailed throwing myself into Sasori’s wooden chest and sobbing melodramatically. “I’m never going home! I’ll never find out if more Naruto characters will appear in my backyard! At least I get to die with two hot villains but why must I suffer so! Why…” I pound my fist on his chest which created a hollow echo sound.

“Drama queen…” Deidara murmured gazing through his ‘scouting eye’, his hair moved from his usually hidden eye. “I don’t think you’re going to die. There’s an island straight ahead hm.”

“Really…?” I asked sniffling.

“Yes really.”

I blink several times. Turns out we ended up in the capital, New Providence/Nassau. Even weirder is the fact somehow we ended up over the Church where my Auntie’s wedding was supposedly being held.

“Um mum…” I said into my cell phone. It’s a good thing in put it in my pockets every night before I go sleep.

“HEY SWEETIEPIE!!! O MY GOSH YOU SHOULD BE HERE!! THE DRESSES ARE GORGEOUS AND YOUR AUNT IS JUST BEAUTIFUL!”

I cringed at how excited she was.

“Yeah mum um can you give the phone to daddy please…”

“SURE HUN! BABY NAT IS ON THE PHONE FOR YOU!!!”

“Um… Hey dad…” I greeted chuckling nervously.

“Hey sweetie! I miss you.”

“Yeah miss you too daddy.” I gave Deidara a pointed look when he started snickering. Blushing from embarrassment I move away from him and hold the phone closer.

“Um dad—“

“Boy Natty you should have come with us to the wedding. Your Grandma is throwing a fit! It’s hilarious! ‘Whaa my baby is getting married, whaa!’ I swear I nearly busted a gut! I wish she did this at our wedding!”

“I didn’t come for obvious reasons…” I grumbled.

“Now Natalya I know she isn’t the most lovable girl in the world but she’s your cousin now well soon will be now that your aunt is getting marriage to her dad.”

I frown deeply. “Thanks for the reminder…”

“Well you called just in time; the wedding is just about to begin.”

“Yeah I can see that.” I replied in a drab tone as I stared down at the wedding below and can clearly see my dad with a cell phone to his ear.

“You can see that?” He repeated.

“I-I mean from how energetic mum sounded on the phone I can tell.” I quickly corrected.

“If you say so.” From on the bird and looking below I can see my dad scratching his head.

“Well anyways daddy there’s a reason I called…”

“Oh, which is…?”

“Um… hypothetically speaking… If I were to oh I don’t know… somehow get lost on a… helicopter and ended up over the chapel you’re at right now what would be the quickest way back to our house?”

I shut my eyes tight hoping, praying and begging that he didn’t look up or think something’s up and suspicious about my question.

“Well for one thing I would tell you to fire the pilot.” I couldn’t help laughing at that. I glance over to Deidara who met my stare and I mouthed the words ‘You’re fired.’ Then I tuned back into what my father was saying.

“Well sweetie to answer your question I guess you would just have to fly behind a plane that was heading to our island to get you back. Go to the front desk, ask what flight is headed there, and wait for that flight to take off and then jump in your heli and take off behind it, hypothetically of course.” Yes! That is an awesome idea! Thank the Lord for Dads! ^w^!

“Thank you daddy I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“Ok Natalya. Be safe now. Sorry we didn’t call to check up on you and tell you we arrived safe and sound but our flight got in pretty late and everyone was exhausted.”

“That’s ok. Talk to you later!”

“Wait don’t you want to speak to Leon?”

“No thanks how about you tell him call me tonight? So when are you guys coming back home?”

“Not sure. We might stay a couple more days with the family. Well I’ll see you later Natty the wedding is starting and your mum is in panic mode! Uh-oh here she comes—”

“Bye Dad!”

Then we hung up. I saw him get ushered inside the chapel by my mom and I giggled.

I look back at the two and smirk. “Let’s get our backsides home because my daddy just gave me an awesome idea…” I said as a cunning smirk appeared.