After eating the delicious lunch, we got ready to go home. I was quite tired by now, and Jasper agreed that we weren't in the mood to walk right after eating lunch, especially in the boiling temperature of the afternoon sun outside. Yep, going home seemed better now.

I'll miss this, though.

This single journey brought back so many of my best memories and a sense of deja vu. Even though it affected me negatively at first, Jasper's words were actual comfort to me and turned it into a real adventure for me. And now, that nostalgia was at its peak, bringing to me the happiest moments of my life and making me smile.

"You can rest at the back seat, if you want to," Jasper remarked when he noticed my tiredness, gesturing to the large backseat of the car. I nodded eagerly, excited at hearing the word 'rest', then got into the backseat of the car and curved myself into a comfortable but less-space consuming position. Since I'm a bit shorter than most 15 year olds, I had enough space to lie down. I felt the need to thank Jasper for bringing me here, but after a while of thinking over it, I hesitated and didn't do it.

Jasper, after taking a glance back at me, took off with a slow start. The car moved smoothly, as if he was making sure to driving it as carefully as possible since I would fall off if he takes a rough brake. I preferred that he drove faster though; I can reach home faster then, change faster, and slump down on my bed faster. Also, I won't fall - I've got the seatbelt to hold on to. Ha, that's the only advantage I find for the backseat belt. I don't use it otherwise.

"Are you sure? You won't fall?" He asked when I requested him to drive faster.

"No, I won't."

He suddenly drove a bit more fast, using his right hand to bring the gear forward and the other hand to turn the steering. I nearly fell, but of course, I tightened my grip on the belt in time and sighed as I saved the embarrassment of falling in between the car seats.

Well, I definitely can't rest properly when I've got to hang on to this thing for dear life. But that's fine, at least I can reach home sooner.

.......................................

I woke up to the sound of someone walking. As my eyes adjusted to the dim lights, I realized I was moving but my body was still. It was as if... someone was carrying me.

Right. Jasper.

My eyes widened for a second before I closed it quickly, realizing that we'd reached home now.

Slowly moving my half-open eyes upwards, I saw Jasper's face glued to the front as he carried me to my room. I didn't stir or move, since I would fall if he accidently dropped me when I woke up. Yet again, we were really close; his hands were holding right below my shoulders area and below my knees. I was pressed closely to his body, and I could hear his heartbeat. As much as I felt awkward while being so close to him, I did feel a sense of comfort too. A bit of warmth.

There was no sound except his quiet footsteps and the creak of the door when Jasper pushed it using his leg to carry me in.

I closed my eyes completely as he gently dropped me on my bed and we were almost nose-to-nose at that moment. Though my eyes were closed in a pretense of sleep, my mind, my body, my subconscious, was still alert in case something happens and, you know... I just didn't trust him enough yet. The moment I felt the bed below me, my heart raced out of my chest because of a sudden tension and all the words said by Jasper were immediately erased from my mind. The earlier warmth and comfort I'd felt with him was suddenly gone. I reminded myself suddenly that anyone could be acting, anyone could be having the pretense of a decent guy with nice words and assurances, that anyone could turn out to be a bad guy... Besides, he was younger than all other bodyguards I've had, and that made me wonder how dad trusted both Jasper and me at this. For all he could know, I could be a hormonal teenager wanting to seduce an adult male - like Sally, but I'll never be like her, of course - or Jasper could be a serial killer or pedophile in the pretense of a bodyguard. Not that he looks like one, but then again, looks can never describe a person's inner thoughts. Dad trusts the both of us and I'm sure that we'll both won't take advantage of his trust for us, but it still felt weird.

I felt Jasper brush past me as he went away after keeping me down on my bed. Hearing his footsteps leave the room afterwards, I slowly opened my eyes and sat up quickly.
Why did he have to carry me?

He could've just woke me up, right? Well, I get that he didn't want to disturb my sleep, especially since I was so tired yesterday and is still recovering from days of skipping food and proper sleep, but just a moment to wake me up, go to the room and then lie down again is all it takes, isn't it? He didn't have to be so careful and silent just to carry me to the room without waking me up. I then took my phone from my pocket slowly, careful not to alert Jasper that I'd been awake and had made him carry me to the room when I'd been half-conscious all along.

Dad just sent me a message today morning, notifying that he had reached his business friend's office for some partnership works and will return to his own office soon after. He also told me how Jasper will be helping him with some online advertisements and emails too.

"You're up?" Jasper entered the room suddenly, with two cups of coffee and sandwiches. I stared up at him quickly, kind of embarrassed that he'd found me awake and partially surprised at why he made snacks for us. He didn't have to make snacks after such a long trip. He was the one who drove all the way there and back, he was the one taking care of me all along while I rested. He must feel really tired and probably irritated because of me, and that's why I wanted him to stop doing all this and leave.

Leave, really? But why? That's the only question that my mind kept asking me, but even I, myself, didn't know that. I couldn't answer it neither did I actually want it, because sending him off just because I didn't know enough about him and had some stupid negative feeling is pretty senseless and illogical. Dad would shoot either me or him if I ever send him away, depending on what the reason is and on whose side dad finds more reasons. Okay, just kidding about that, but still. I just didn't want him to stay with me, but neither did I want to fire him or even talk to dad about making him leave. I felt confused and helpless. I couldn't bring myself to trust him in anyway. He was really hard to understand, a mysterious sort of personality.

He probably thinks the same about you, idiot, I thought, realizing that I too hated opening up to anyone. But I didn't have to open up at all; Jasper already figured out everything about me, including my biggest secret. Except he doesn't know the reason for that secret.

"I'm sorry...," I said in a hesitant whisper, still confused and apologizing in what seemed like a subconscious whisper. He probably thought that I was still half asleep. Honestly, I didn't even know what exactly I was saying sorry for; it's he who decided to make us snacks, I didn't force him to do that. And about him carrying me all the while I was awake - but even then, I didn't ask him to not wake me up and I kept still, not because I wanted him to keep carrying me, but because I was scared that he would drop me accidentally if I woke up in the midst of walking. So, in short, he was the one who kept doing everything for me when I didn't want him to do so and neither did I ask him to. I'm not being ungrateful, I'm obviously thankful to him for all that he's doing for me, but I just don't want to be like a burden. I've never been a burden to anyone in my whole life, not even to dad, I've been okay with myself and looked after myself after I grew up, so this is a whole new feeling for me and I hate it.

Of course, he gets paid for everything he does; but according to me, he has done far more work than all other bodyguards have done and that too, with his extra contributions to dad's business and other problems that I might not be aware of. Looking at it as a job, I feel that there's nothing wrong with it and he's just doing the required work here. But looking at him like a person, I feel that he works too much. And that I'm the main reason for it. He's already crossed the 'professional' level.

Jasper turned to me after keeping the cup on my desk, "What for?"

"You drove all the way from here and back, didn't have a minute of rest, and then made the coffee and sandwiches. I pretty much didn't do anything and just rested here lazily while you did all the work. I wouldn't argue if you were already irritated of me and wanted to leave," I sighed, wanting him to leave, actually. If the threaten-to-fire and anger methods didn't work on him, this might work. He may be a person of sentiments, perhaps?

Well, jokes on me for even thinking about this.

Jasper chuckled and he came up to me, sitting on the chair beside my bed. I stared at him curiously, trying to find out what he might be thinking when I said that. Which was nearly impossible, for your information.

"Hey, that's fine, June; you don't have to apologize. It's just my duty. Even otherwise, you're not a burden to me. I'm doing this just because that's what I'm getting paid for and because your dad, a person I look upto, has requested me to look after you well and fill the gap that his absence has put in your life. If you or Mr.Jacobs wants me to leave, I would. But I would never leave by my own will because this isn't just a job to me. It's..." He paused, either trying to find the word for it or just not wanting to tell it at all. It's? It's what? Tell me!

Again, the 'something' in my mind told me otherwise and instead of asking what the 'it' was, which is what I usually would've done because of my unending curiosity, I ended up asking him something else that I regretted a second later, because I lost the chance to know about him better.

"So you're really not mad at me?" I asked stupidly. A child would've sounded less childish than me in this awkward situation. He shook his head, "Of course not. There's no reason to be."

I still felt that he was the one doing everything while I sat around all day, doing nothing to help him. He wasn't making me feel that way though, I was doing it to myself. And the weird thing? I still felt mad at him for making me feel this way, even though he told me a hundred times that it was nothing and that he was doing it all by his own will. It was as if I was the one to blame for everything and anything, but I blamed him either way because that's what gives me satisfaction. Ugh, stupid teenage phase. I hate it so much to be a teen, to have fifteen years of experience in this world but still have no control over my emotions and what I feel deep in my heart. I could be easily hurt and disappointed, but I could be easily angered and worried too. Both are equally worse, though.

"Look, if you still feel troubled or worried about anything, you can rest. Maybe it's the nightmare that you saw today morning that's still troubling you," He said, smiling at me and then standing up, taking along my empty cup and plate. No damn way! I'm not letting him do my work for me again, I don't want to feel like a lazy ass anymore. That feeling's strangling me like some tight rope wrapped around my neck.

That's because you ARE a lazy ass, June.

I'm not.

Sure, you're not. Even you don't trust yourself.

"Wait, no! I don't want to rest anymore," I jumped up, feeling a new energy in me and my own thoughts ringing in my ears repeatedly. Maybe after all, I'm learning some maturity, like my dad wants. In short, growing up.

In a few seconds, I grabbed both his and my plates from his hand and ran to the kitchen without a moment of turning back.
"Hey -," he started, but stopped when I ran out the room and to the kitchen, ignoring him completely.

Washing every plate that was left in the sink since we returned, I felt much better at the thought that I had helped Jasper and not made him do everything like some servant. I'm the idle one here, Jasper has work, involving dad's business. I may kind of hate him, unreasonably or not, but I shouldn't let such a dumb hate of mine turn me into an emotionless creature who makes myself turn into a burden for everyone around me. He's my bodyguard, not my servant. He's just supposed to protect me in case of any danger; all other work that he does actually requires extra payment, which he won't even be willing to get.

"Thanks, June," Jasper said, leaning at the kitchen door, "as I said before, it isn't a burden to me. It's just my job."

Hell yeah, you were appointed as my bodyguard to do your 'job' of washing my dishes. Good riddance.

"I understand. But I have to do chores around here too, Jasper. It's not meant only for one person, it should be done by everyone living in the house," I nodded to myself, "So just...ask me to help you with stuff sometimes. It's not a problem for me."

Jasper smirked, "But that might be like I'm ordering you, Miss. You're the one who's supposed to order me, you know."

I turned to him with a pissed off glare, "Fine. I order you to tell me when there's unfinished work around here, and if you don't, you're fired. Got me?"

He nodded with an expression that looked like he was forcing back a laugh.

"Also, no one's a boss around here. I was just joking, I'm too short to be a boss."

At that, he burst out laughing and I joined in. Well, fortunately that didn't end in a big argument again.