Dead, dead, dead.

I must be dead, I should be.

But it proved otherwise as I lay in the hospital bed, looking up at the bright lights which were blinding my blurry eyes. I didn't care to look around at the people surrounding my bed, at the doctor or the nurses, or at the large package of medicines that'd been kept right across me. It was evident that I'd been here for at least a few days, and that someone had been taking care of me for all this time. Who? That question would've mattered to me earlier, but not now, not anymore. All I cared about is the fact that my dad was dead and that my bodyguard had tried to sexually assault me before I was hit on my head with a metal pole, and then I ended up here with someone's help.

I heard from a conversation by the doctors before, that I was nearly dead, lying half-naked in a pool of blood, at the time my rescuers found me - actually, I really did die. A part of my mind, my body, my heart and my soul was lost there forever. At the second I realized that it was him, the villain of my nightmare, that I'm not going to get saved, I lost all the trust I had in anyone.

I lay down unblinkingly, but there were tears slowly coming down my eyes. I didn't cry out or jump in shock when I heard that they couldn't save my dad. I didn't do anything at all. I pretended to be dead, which I was, deep inside. I couldn't ever think of a life without my dad. He was all I had, my only family.

And he was taken away from me too.

My soul actually was gone at this point.

"She's awake!"

Someone's excited that I'm alive? Pathetic.

"Oh, thank God. June?"

Thank who? Imaginary saviour?

I lay still. Should I be pretend to be dead so that they'd bury me and I would be able to die peacefully? Should I pretend to not hear them? But that'd be rude.

Rude, really? I mocked myself, You became the best version of yourself to a guy you trusted and loved so well, but look what he did to you. And you're still thinking of not being rude to people, huh? Grow up, dumbass. No one in this world is genuine, and no one's going to treat you the same way you treat them. Better safe than sorry - so shut up, ignore them and mind your own damn business.

But the voices were familiar. Very familiar. I knew them. It was a girl's and guy's voice. A girl and guy I knew too well.

No, it wasn't Klaus', Dorian's, or Karly's. Though I expected - and hoped at the depth of my heart - it to be them, it clearly wasn't. It wasn't Mrs.Smith either.

Merely curious, I slightly moved my head to the side as the guy appeared near me, gently caressing my head and making sure to not hurt me or surprise me. He didn't, either; at this point, even if he suddenly takes out a knife out of nowhere and stabs it right through my heart, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm losing my senses, I know, but what do you expect from a girl who just lost her father, almost got raped and went through a brain surgery after being at the brink of death?

The person's face came into view after the blur left my eyes. I was surprised, yes, but it didn't show much.

It was Lucas.

Lucas...? How is he here?

"June? Do you feel better? Do you remember me?" He asked with concern laced in his eyes and voice.

I sighed silently and turned my head, not wanting to nod and pain my head even more. Of course I remembered him. Just moments ago, I was trying to think of wanting to die someway or the other and never being nice to anyone ever again but here I was, yet again, my heart warmed by the only person who was here by my side during this situation. I couldn't ever think of being aloof and distant towards Lucas. He was like a brother to me, and still is, regardless of what I went through. Why am I so gullible?

Lucas sighed, then turned to the girl behind him, "She responded, but she's not speaking. Should we call the doctor again?"

"I don't think so. Stop being so paranoid, Lucas, she'll recover soon. At least she responded now, right? She'll speak soon," The girl replied. I did recognise her voice, but at the same time, I didn't. It was kind of a confusing situation. I couldn't get anything in my mind properly. How could I have recognised her voice, but it's not Karly's or Mrs.Smith's? I mean, these two are pretty much the only females in my life who were really close to me. I can't think of anyone else.

Actually, how did this even happen to me? What was Jasper's reason for doing this, and why didn't I stop him from trying to do what he was doing to me? I could've saved myself if I got over that stupid paranoia of mine and struggled against the frozen feeling in my legs and hands. But no, I had to be the victim of the newest crime in this city; 'Popular businessman gets murdered and his daughter goes through surgery after being hit during a rape attempt.'

I winced, feeling my head getting heavy again. Deciding not to worry myself even more with such thoughts, I closed my eyes as if I was shutting out the world in front of me. I didn't have anyone anymore, and though I felt a very bit of gladness to be still alive, I'd rather have died than live right now.

You're a failure even at dying, June.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

"Lucas, she's awake!" The same familiar female voice I heard before called out to Lucas, who had indeed rescued me back on that day.

I had been at this hospital for nearly a week now, and I'm obviously much better than the first day here - that terrifying, nightmarish day, the worst day of my life. Look at you now, June, I thought in mock pity, Just days ago you had celebrated the best day of your life with your most favourite person and now here you are, alone and lost.

Do you think it's a normal thing to sit casually at your house, waiting for your dad to return home and saddened by the departure of a person who'd stayed with you your whole life, and then suddenly, the next thing that happens is your dad being attacked by the guy who was supposed to be guarding you, and then he even tries to assault you? I tried to digest the fact that the most unexpected, unrealistic thing had happened to me and my only family, my dad. That I had been taken advantage of by the person I trusted. Of course, thanks to Lucas and his arrival in time, I'd been saved from getting sexually assaulted and mentally traumatized forever. But Jasper broke my trust in everyone, and now, I felt like I couldn't even trust my rescuer though at the depth of my mind I couldn't distrust him either. Besides, I'm sure that this is enough trauma to last for a lifetime. Maybe I'm physically fine and nothing happened to me other than a brain surgery that went quite well, but the mental scars never go.

Like the scars on Jasper's arms, I remembered suddenly. The thought about his scars and the stories of his past made me realise that he probably lied about it too. But something else, a gut feeling, told me that he didn't. It told me that the scars were real, that his past had indeed hurt him badly, and maybe affected him enough to turn him into such a monster. However, I couldn't trust this certain gut feeling because it kept telling me that Jasper wasn't the one who attacked us either. But how's that possible? I heard his voice clearly. I heard everything that he told me - and it was all things that he knew about me, especially the fact that he knew about my feelings. If it wasn't him, he could've come to save me like he usually does.

But he didn't, because it was him who was attacking me, and he confessed to the crime after he was arrested. The cops had arrested him just days ago and Lucas' father, Mr.Davids, had talked to me about him right afterwards. Though I'd met Lucas' whole family sometime after I woke up from my one-week rest, I never talked to his dad until then because he seemed like the type of businessman who had no time to talk even with his own kids but was kind and friendly deep beneath. He's the one who paid for my hospital bills - which were very expensive, of course.

"June Jacobs. Isn't that your name?" Mr.Davids had asked me on the day he came to meet me.

I nodded.

"So, I'll get straight to the point, June," he said, leaning up straight on the chair, "Only I and Lucas have seen your attacker, and he has been arrested now."

I looked up, suddenly curious.

"He confessed to the crime," Mr.Davids said, taking out his phone, "And as proof, I've got a copy of his confession to the cops. Might need it later on."

He played a recording and I listened keenly as Jasper's voice came on. Though a bit distracted by the sudden memories of his voice and the comfort it gave me earlier, I ignored all those feelings and continued listening as Jasper went on about how exactly I'd seen everything happen - the sight of dad on the floor, wrapped in blood, the attacker who caught me from behind, how he carried me inside and began to speak as he slowly tore off my shirt, how I burst out with a scream at the end and he had to hit me with the same pole he used to kill my dad after he realised that I might attract people with loud screams. He then began to run off but was stopped by Lucas and his dad who had turned up at the right moment for meeting me for some reason. Lucas brought me to the hospital while his dad sent his men after Jasper and had him surrender to the cops. Though it was evident that everything added up well and that Jasper had indeed betrayed us, I still couldn't believe that he, out of all people, would take advantage of me and my dad. I then remembered his words when I was paralyzed in fear, about my feelings towards him; does that mean that he did know about my crush on him all along? That he'd been planning on making me like him, all along? The stories about his past, the saving-me incidents, the nice persona...everything was an act. And I fell for it, fell for him. I thought he was different, that all my assumptions about him were false but no, those were my gut feelings, which turned out to be true.

Maybe it was partly my fault. Maybe he thought that he could take advantage of me since I do like him. Maybe I shouldn't have liked someone who was older than me by eight years, who could literally pin me down using just one hand. He was using me all along, and I, being my usual self, never realised it until I got hurt - physically and mentally.

Will I ever recover?

"From what I've understood," Mr.Davids continued, "Jasper had a long term grudge against your father for some reason that he hasn't revealed yet. He wanted both of you dead."

I winced at that, catching my temples, "Well, he failed at that."

He would have had a better chance at killing me if he had left me alone during the hotel incident. That way, I wouldn't have to suffer so much emotional pain regarding the fact that the one person I fell in love with, is the one that tried to assault me.

"He said he doesn't regret it."

Wow. Is this really the same Jasper I knew? The one that admired me and my dad so much and would've protected us even at the cost of his life?

I nodded, having heard that part in the recording, "I heard. Once he gets out, he'll try to kill me again."

"Unfortunately," Mr.Davids sighed, "He's got ties and influences, June. What would've been a life sentence was reduced to just ten years in prison. So, he gets out after those ten years and you'd have to go somewhere else then."

I shook my head, "I'm sorry, Mr.Davids, but I'm not going anywhere. If he wants to kill me, let him get away with that and be satisfied."

Because the life I have now isn't even a life anyway.

Mr.Davids stood up and crossed his arms, frowning at me, "Kid, you don't know what you're saying. You're just sixteen. I understand that having this traumatic experience at such a young age was too difficult for you, but if you lose your will to live, that'll be an even bigger problem for you."

"I'm sorry," I said, realizing that I sounded ungrateful when I said that. Lucas and his father had saved me by risking their own reputation and lives, how could I think of dying then? That's so wrong. They just saved me from death and then I say that I wouldn't care if Jasper kills me. "I didn't mean that. I do want to live."

Not really.

"As you should," he nodded, "And as part of that, Lucas has decided that you're staying with us after you get discharged."

"Wait, what -"

Before I could continue protesting, he left the room with a slam, leaving me alone, slumped on the bed helplessly. Lucas saved my life, and I should be grateful, but I can't trust him completely. I just can't do it anymore.

I trusted Jasper, and he had saved my life too. But how did he turn out at the end? I don't even like to think about him anymore. Why would he have saved my life if he wanted to take it all along?

"June, June, hey?" Lucas said as he sat beside me. This time, I turned my head to him fully and observed him carefully. I felt a little like keeping a distance from him, but at the same time, I didn't and couldn't do it. I still wondered about how he came to my house at the right time and saved me from Jasper. How did he know where I lived, or for that fact, come over there for whatever reason it was? That doesn't seem even a little coincidental. Besides, even his dad was there with him. Why would Lucas visit me with along with his dad? Maybe it was because my dad's a businessman and knew Mr.Davids that way, so they came over to meet him. Even then, it's too weird to be coincidental.

At the depth of my mind, I had a feeling that something wasn't right about everything that had happened. I knew that I was just creating a headache for myself, but after I recovered completely, I want to go further into this case and find the truth about why Jasper would want to kill my father and me. Denial is such a bad guy, but this wasn't just denial, but rather, gut feelings.

As he sat beside me, Lucas was wearing a red shirt and black jeans, along with something kept in his hand. It was a phone, my phone, which had been recovered on the couch after the incident happened and had been kept away from me all this time because the doctors didn't want me to strain myself by scrolling on it. Besides, my friends kept calling. When I didn't answer for so many days, they abandoned trying. Maybe they got tired of me too.

Lucas' eyes gave away his emotions well, and I noticed how concerned he looked. Why would he be so concerned about me? I'm no one of his. He doesn't even know me besides the fact that I went to the place he worked at everyday. Well, whatever; Jasper was concerned about me too, though I was no one of his. And that's because he really didn't care.

"Do you remember me? I'm Lucas-"

"I remember," I answered blankly, staring at him weirdly. I'd talked to his dad just days ago, why is he talking to me as if I lost my entire brain after the surgery? He stared back at me in the same way, the side of his lip tugging up into a strained but relieved smile. Is that even genuine, or fake, just like Jasper's?

"Do you feel better now?" He asked, and I nodded, proceeding to sit myself to a straight position. I winced a little in pain, but I still sat up with Lucas' help. I turned my head to the other side, coming face to face with the girl with that familiar voice.

As I turned, I was met with two cold, sharp eyes of a person I knew too well.

The same person who hated me to the core.

Wait a minute...

"Ava?"

There is no damn way that this is real.

First, the people whom I trust over everyone else decide to break my trust, and now, my worst enemy is nearby me at the hospital, giving instructions to Lucas and looking after me. If she has changed and started to sympathize with me, I won't be able to take it anymore - I really might go crazy.

"H-hey, um, hey June," Ava answered uncomfortably, blinking her eyes and smiling sheepishly. Though I wasn't exactly relieved or anything, I smiled back forcibly just to make her feel less awkward.

I have a lot of questions inside my mind at right this second: Why is Ava here? Was she there with Lucas and his father when they saved me? Could it be that she's the one who brought them there for some reason? What's the whole story behind this?

Right then, however, a doctor came in, breaking the awkwardness between us.
"Do you feel better now, June?" She asked me with a smile. I nodded. The doctor, whose name was Emily, was a very sweet person who kept asking me the same question everytime she saw me. She also seemed to be personally close to Lucas and his family; maybe she's his family friend, maybe an old classmate, maybe his girlfriend.

At that, she turned to Lucas and shrugged, "Lucas, she's alright to be discharged today. She's quite fine except that she's been really silent and not answering any of our questions properly, but that's because..."

She paused. I leaned back on my bed, letting them speak further. I knew what she was about to say, but she didn't say it just because I was listening. By not answering their questions, she meant that I didn't bother to answer any of the questions asked by both the doctors and the cops. I either remained silent, answered indirectly, or just acted really sick. All what I needed right now was to be left alone in solitude, not be the renowned victim of an attempted rape case and be questioned at each and every second of my life.

I don't care if anyone cares about me or are worried sick about me; I know that no one will be, because I don't have anyone. My dad's dead, my friends are gone, and the one person I adored so much took advantage of me. My life feels so empty and bare right now, and I don't like it. I hate it. My old life consisted of the best days I've ever had, the golden days. Why didn't I enjoy it back then? Ugh, it was so greedy and stupid of me to think that my life was such a mess just because I didn't have my mom. And now what? I lost everyone I had. Now you'll understand what it's like to really be alone, June, I thought.

"Alright Em, I'll bring her home today," Lucas said, making me sit up straight suddenly and stare at all of them in shock.

Bring me...home?

Shit, I forgot what Lucas' dad had told me on that day. No way I'm going with them.

No way.

***************

"June, listen to us, we'll take care of you until you're okay. You can't take care of yourself in this stage," Lucas tried to convince me as I kept on shaking my head and sighing in disagreement, "Besides, you're not safe."

I knew I wasn't safe. I wasn't able to take care of myself yet, and obviously, I'm young too. But even still, I had been trying my best all this time to convince Lucas to leave me back at my house itself. Don't mistake me for being stupid; I have various reasons for this decision.

First of all, I don't know much about Lucas, neither does he, about me. The only relation we have is as distant friends, because we've been meeting at the coffee stop he works in for years, but that doesn't make us really close. In case Lucas lived alone, away from his parents, then the chances of me agreeing to stay with him might've been even lesser because I'll be too paranoid to ever trust a guy again. Not that every guy is like Jasper, or that I distrust the person who saved me, but I just don't want to be betrayed again and neither do I want to irritate Lucas by being overly cautious and paranoid around him.

Secondly, if I go to their house it can turn out to be a burden to all of them. And since they all live together as a joint family, I'll be the outcast.

Thirdly, I don't want to live anywhere else than my own house. Though that house might make me remember my memories with dad, my friends and Jasper, at least that can make me feel better than this. At least I'll have something to think of. Besides, I can be alone like I want to, and I'll not be a burden to anyone else, so we're even.

However, none of these reasons seemed to convince Lucas to change his mind. Emily was on his side too. Ava, on the other hand, stood silently, her hands tapping the table rhythmically.

I still didn't know why on earth she was here. If she had a plan to kill me while I was vulnerable, she would've done that already - I'd been here for a week, unconscious. And I would've been grateful to her a million times more, but unfortunately, all she knows is how to wrestle with me and break my phone - oh, and also, how to steal my friend.

"I know, Lucas, but please. I want to be left alone for some days until I can cope up with everything. After that, I'll stay wherever you want me to," I groaned, clearly not meaning the last sentence I said, because for a fact, I knew that everyone will forget me and this incident after a few weeks and won't bother to call me back. That's exactly what I wanted.

He shook his head in disagreement, "That's definitely not happening. You are staying with us, no matter what. You were saved right in time just because of mere luck, and now we can't leave you in danger again. June, we care about you, alright?"

You're just landing yourself in trouble, Lucas.

I sighed, "But-"

"If the problem is that you think you'll be a burden to us, we promise you won't be. My dad paid your bills at the hospital willingly, and mom has been asking me to bring you home as soon as possible. Please understand, June."

Lucas' mom wants me to come home? But why on earth do they all care about me? I'm not even a close friend of Lucas. They probably didn't even know me before this incident, except if Lucas found enough time to tell them about a random friend named June Jacobs.

I know, it is just a 'human thing' to care about others - as Jasper has said before - or rescue them from danger, but then again, why do they want me to go to their house? For a large family like theirs, I'd obviously be a burden no matter how rich Lucas' father is. I'd be invading their privacy too.

"We're going to my house today, and that's it," Lucas said, his voice stern.

I sighed again. I wasn't willing to go to his house, and neither did I actually agree. But Lucas and Emily convinced me again and again until I finally nodded. A nod of defeat rather than agreement. Finally, when it was time to leave, Emily helped me into Lucas' car and I got in, with Ava following us silently all the time. She got in with me on the backseat of the car and for a second, I gazed at her in puzzlement before turning away. I noticed that she was carrying all the things that I needed - like my medicines, my phone, the prescription, all that stuff. I was weirded out by her sudden change in behavior and why she was even here, but I wasn't in the state to question it. Maybe she has a better plan to kill me without being suspected, I've to let her go on with it.

The drive to Lucas' house was silent, but not much awkward. I wanted it to be silent, I wanted to remain calm and in peace. It wasn't like before anymore.