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This is a story. A story that even though was never completed, it accompanied me for a very long time.

I was 8 years old when I first saw him he had came to stay at his moms house over the vacation and before I knew I fell in love.I didn't even know what love was at that age but that summer we bondend as friends and played together. We rided my cycle, played tag, house house, believe me it didn't happen like movies I was not mom and he was not dad in that play in fact he was even relucant to play the game so we played many other games that children play so the vacation got over then there we some problem in his family he seldom came to visit I also forgot about him but he was at the back of my mind he was my first crush.

So than fast forward some years i just started my college and then we met again he came to visit his relatives. I was happy some months later I got a message on social site, it was from him, we started to talk and then we exchange our numbers fast forward some months and he asked me out, I said no.

It was just that I was not ready and I didn't think that he was serious about me I wanted us to first fall in love so we remained as friends . I thought that if he likes me he will wait for me but I was proven wrong.Some 5 months later he told me he has a girlfriend I was heartbroken I regretted my decision but I knew the decision was right cause when he asked me out I was not in a place to say yes I was childish I knew I was not mature enough for the relationship.
I cried myself to sleep that night.

But then a thought came into my mind that they will breakup and I will seize my chance again I was proven

Wrong their relationship was strong for many years and I also over comed my feelings, sort of . In fact whenever they used to fight I had to make peace between them but with such a power in hand I had some evil thought s in my mind and I didn't wist to turn myself into a Disney villan and it was even hurting to stay friends with him so I stop messaging him he asked me the reason at times but I stayed mumm he gave up and that's how the so called best friends broke up,this happened in a span of 2 years.

It's not as if I never had my share of crushes,but he was the one that impacted me the most.

Fast forward some more years in future I had shifted to Bangalore for my job my parents were reluctant but I convinced them somehow .Some days later i met him in Bangalore he was there as well and I fell in love all over again. He had matured from than akward lanky guy from my childhood into a confident,sweet, funny guy who still has problems in holding up conversations. We were strangers to the city but not to one another so we started to spend some time together.

He had brokenup with his girl a year back and she had gotten married,he had almost nursed his broken heart, he even told me that the break up was an almost mutual one as they had fallen out of love and I was like 'abb apna time ayega'.

Then some marriage talks started in his house and they were considering me till that time we both had regain our bond of friendship that was destroyed due to my stupidity. His parents asked my parents for my hand and they enquired about my decision, but I knew before this I had to confess to him and so I did.

He was shocked and told me that he didn't share my feelings and he even had repramined his parents for asking that question so the marriage talk stopped and he begged me to remain as friends I said yes but we both knew that this was not possible

We started to drift apart again and after some time he got engaged to someone else I was sad but something happened the engagement was cancelled I didn't talk to him though cause I knew that he was not interested then his message came and we started to chat casually I started to like him again one day he messaged me that he was going on a business trip overseas for a year this message bought a fear of loosing him again which I was not aware I had started to fell one as we were at our casual hangout he proposed it was a magical day for me and he proposed . That day I told him about my feelings once again and this time he accepted my love.

We talked to our parents and had a quick engagement it was decided that we will be married after he comes back.

That one month was the most beautiful we were in love and when it was time for him to go we both cried like kids. 6 months into the trip,our long distance relationship was going fine we had some disputes but we solved them, we were happy in our own world

And then the call came the bus from which he was traveling had an accident he was dead I was shocked I didn't know what to do they were not even letting us see his body,His body was sent like a parcel after 15 days I was disheartened I felt as if my life was sucked out of my body. I lost my will to live.

After so many trials and tribulations we were finally getting our happy ending but this time it was taken away from us not because of our stupidity but due to our fate. The guy I loved from my childhood was no more he left me I wanted to join him but I knew I couldn't.....

At times I wish that I could rewind time and as I would meet him again I would confess not caring what he would think of my ruffian behavior anything to just buy us some more time together.

My love was before me my whole life but I being a coward never fought for him just waiting for him to come to me.

June 28,2020

Beta read by HemangiKapase Startlespire27