Chapter 25: Let go

Iris's POV:

I know what i have to do, i'm not gonna fight with fate anymore. I'm just gonna have to face our situation now, alone or not, i have to go through it

They say actions speak louder than words, but in some cases, words hurt a lot more than actions ever could. Especially when the words were, "We already arranged someone for you to marry"

As i opened my mouth, i can feel the clashing of pain that i will cause for the both of us but i know, it's for the better. He's going to be married after we graduate our senior year and start his college life, while me, i'll be living in US to study for college for about 7 years

I might have to forget about him so that i can move on easily and for the situation to be easier

I held onto his face while wiping his tears with my thumb "I'm letting you go now Kim Xian, live happily with your new life.... without me" i kissed him for the last time and stood up from my seat ready to leave until he caught my wrist

"Is that really your decision?" I can't turn back because i will see a heart shattering pain before my eyes

"Yes..." Was all the words that came out of my mouth and walked towards the rooftop

***
As i reached the rooftop, i felt like the world became quiet all of a sudden and the time has stopped. I felt like i was the only person in this world

I seriously wanted to cry my eyes out but somehow, the tears wouldn't come as if my own tears also grew tired of falling down from my eyes. My chest was tight, and i just wanted to cry and scream, but nothing happened

No voice came out of my mouth as i wanted to scream. I feel a tremendous pain in my chest, i start hitting it as hard as i can and thought, maybe if i hit it hard enough the pain would go away

***

I sat down at the rooftop, letting my feet hang off the edge. I stop crying like an hour ago, but i couldn't bring myself to go back because i can't face him anymore. I just broke up with the love of my life

It's funny how cliche our love story is and how fate played with us. I smiled while recalling all the memories we have made the past 11 months

A moment later, i heard the door open indicating that someone just entered

"Hey, you okay now?" I heard Alex said while i feel her presence behind me

"Think so" was my answer

"Are you really sure about your decision? About letting him go?" Cloe softly asked as she grabbed my palms to caress it

"I'm sure, plus he'll be getting married by the time we graduate and start his college life while me, i'll be going to US to study for college" i told them as few tears flow down my eyes

"You're.... leaving?" I heard his faint voice from behind me. I smiled bitterly

"Yeah... i guess it's the right decision for me and my dad said so" i replied to him without looking back

I didn't heard any respond from him, i guess he doesn't know what to say either. I can't push myself longer into his life because his future has already been decided for him. I can't interfere anymore

"We'll leave you too to talk" Alex said before i heard the door of the rooftop exit to shut

"Whose the lucky girl to be married to the one and only Xian Kim?" This time i faced him and smiled while my eyes turned glossy because of the tears that are threatening to fall

"Lowell..." Was all the word i heard while he fell down on his knees and cried. So he's getting married to Isabella? That's unfortunate. I wanted him to be happy with the girl he might be married with that's why i left him. Turns out fate is on Isabella this time

"Isabella huh? Turns out fate is on Isabella's side this time" i sat beside him and pat his back to try and comfort him

Nothing left his mouth but quiet sobs. I also wanted to cry when i heard the word Lowell but i don't want to. This time, i wanted to be strong just for myself, at least for myself

"Hey don't cry, maybe someday, you'll learn to love her" i said and caress his head. I tried comforting him as far as i can

"You seemed to be okay with this" He told me once he stopped crying. He might thought i'm alright but i'm not. I'm simply just acting up so i can feel ease

"I'm really not but you know, we can still be friends. I still love you so much but we can't do anything about it. Just as your dad said, we can't stop the marriage now because it's already been decided" i told him

"Friends huh? Such words i didn't want us to be" i can feel the sadness and pain in his words. Every words that left his mouth lingers pain and sadness

"Does Isabella knows?" I asked the very question that i want to be answered. I don't want Isabella for him but if he will have a great future ahead, i'll be sure to give him up just for his sake

"Probably. She didn't come to school today so father possibly ringed her and told her about the marriage" he uttered sadly

As he answered the question, i felt numb for a second. I felt my world stopped and all of my surrounding became inaudible. I felt like someone hit my chest so hard, all my tears flew down like a waterfall

I crouch down as i felt hot tears escape from my eyes once again. I felt a tremendous grief in my heart, i don't want this pain, i want it to be over. I hit my chest multiple time and wished the pain would stop

I released loud sobs from my lips. I don't want this, please make it stop. He held me into his arms and whispered sweet nonsense into my ears. I held into him as if my life depends on it

I no longer can hide it. All the pain, grief and agony inside my heart

"I don't want this anymore, i want to end everything, please make this pain stop" i cried out like a child asking out for help. I hit his chest multiple time while crying out my heart

Nothing left his mouth but whispers of comfort, he didn't complain even if i hurt him. He didn't pushed me away even if i chose to push him away. I'm sorry my love, i'm really sorry

"I'm sorry, i'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry because i chose to let you go, i'm sorry for hurting you, i'm sorry because i can no longer fight for the both of us. I'm really sorry my love, i'm sorry" i kept repeating my words as i hug him tightly, afraid if i let go, he'll vanish and disappear in thin air

"Shh... it's alright. Don't blame yourself, we can't do anything about it anymore. Fate is a cruel thing to fight against with, we'll only end up hurt in the end" he caress my head and held into my waist and treated me as if i'm as fragile as a glass

I'll miss this feeling. The feeling of warmth, his forehead against mine, his big hands engulfing my own and his heart beat repeating the same beat as mine

Once we calmed down, we looked into each others eyes. I always get lost whenever i looked into his eyes, his deep chocolate brown eyes

"You're leaving after we graduate right? You'll be going to US?" He questioned me, voice a bit croaky from all the crying we had

"Yeah. My dad suggested i study there for college and since this happened, it's a perfect timing" i told him

"I always wanted to study college together with you and after we graduate, i'll be proposing to you and we'll get married. Although my dreams got shattered, guess fate has it's own ways for us" he held my hand and held it tightly

I once again shed tears, once he get married, i won't be able to hold his hands again

"Hey.. don't cry. I promise you after a year of our marriage, i'll divorce Isabella and find you" he hugged me and caress my back

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one studying in US for medicine till 7 years" i looked up to him and shed more tears once again

"Plus you can't divorce Isabella, it will ruin the partnership" i let go of the hug and faced him

"You'll be in States for 7 years?" He asked

"Yeah and that means, you have to fully let me go. You have to let go of the idea divorcing Isabella just to be with me. The partnership will be ruined" i lectured him. I'll miss this, lecturing him because of this dumb ideas

"But i love you..." He pouted and held my hands

"And i love you more. I want you to be happy with the new chapter of your life, even if i'm not a part of it. I always and will always love you no matter what" i let go of his hands

"No matter what" he replied with a sad smile

I stood up from the seat and went out of the rooftop. I realized something today that if you truly love someone, you are willing to give up everything for his or her sake

*Time skip to the graduation day*

Everyone is excited today while me, i'm not. The moment the day is done, i go straight to the airport. The past few months, i was going through depression and i'm glad Alex, Cloe, Tyler and Rex was their for me

Without them, i wouldn't be alive today and receive my diploma

Flashbacks

Here i am, sitting alone in an empty classroom with a cutter on my hands, blood dripping down my arms as my tears fall down my cheeks

I was tried of all the drama, seeing Isabella by his side, them announcing the wedding to the whole school pains me. It wasn't his idea, it's Isabella's. He can't stop her from doing anything

I was silently crying when i heard a noise outside, indicating that someone is about to enter here. I quickly hid the cutter on my pocket, pulled the sleeves of my hoodie to hide my arms and wipe my tears

"There you are, i was looking for you. You didn't have lunch today, i'm worried about you Ryi" i heard Tyler said as he sat beside me

"Tyler... i'm tired" i said to him as few tears fell down my face

"I know Ryi, i know" he pulled me into a tight warm hug and let me cry my whole heart out. Loud sobs escape from my lips as tears fall down my face rapidly

I couldn't swallow the pain anymore. The fact that i acted like everything was okay and kept ignoring the things that Isabella has done to me broke me more. All the negative words the students kept whispering about me has pushed my limits

"Ryi stop this, stop crying now. The moment we receive our diploma, you can be free from this pain. You can start your new life in the US. You can be free from him, move on Ryi, stop hurting yourself" his sudden moves shocked me

He suddenly pulled the sleeves of my hoodie and revealed the newly cuts i did on my arms. Blood we're still oozing out of them

"You've cut yourself again didn't you?" I heard Alex said in the background

"I'm sorry..." Was all i could say. I'm done with my unfair life, i'm done with the cruel fate that destiny has bestowed upon me, i'm done with pain and agony in my heart, i'm done with everything

"Do you think ending your life will solve everything? What do you think would we feel? Your friends? Your parents? Did you even think about us!" Alex screamed in front of me

"You don't know how i feel, you don't understand my pain. I'm tired Alex! I'm so f*cking tired!" I screamed back while i cried. I harshly threw the cutter away causing it to break

Even though i was in this state, i knew Alex and Tyler was right. The moment i receive my diploma, i can start my new life

"I'm sorry for shouting, i'm just really depressed and you know..." I said sorry to them and engulf them into a hug

We stayed like that for a while. They helped me calm down and ease my mind from all the pain and agony i've been feeling

End of Flashbacks

After all the drama that has happened, i'm finally contented. I can finally free myself from all the things that has happened and can finally accept the fact that i'm moving away to start a new life with my best friends

Alex and Tyler decided to study in Harvard University together with me for them to make sure i'm okay and i'm happy with that. Cloe and Rex decided to stay in here to keep me updated with Xian and Isabella

I was sad that they would stay but they insisted on staying so i can't force them anymore and besides after 7 years, i'll get to see them again

We don't know what our future will hold, but as long as i have them by my side, i'm confident, happy and contented









And that's a wrap of chapter 25 of the story

The ending of the story is nearing. Who do you think will Iris love after she gave up on Xian? Would she be able to love another one again? I'm quite sad that this books is ending

Today i wrote 2400+ words and i'm happy that my book reached 121 votes. Never thought some people actually like my story

I'm still glad because some are actually still reading this piece of garbage that i'm writing 🤧❤️

Thank you very much to the people who are still reading this

Have a good night/day everyone

This has been author-nim

사랑해 친구 ❤️🌸

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