Xian's POV:

I just came back inside our house after talking to Iris. I can't leave her, i won't leave her. She's my everything, she's the source of my happiness, she's the reason why i still smile and she's the reason there's still a burning fire lit in my heart

I can't stand looking at her while tears fall down her face. My heart can't bare it knowing she's broken because of me. She's my happiness, why would i make her sad?

While i was walking towards my room, my mind was occupied with a lot of things, questions that me, myself cannot answer like what would i do if i can't stop the arrangement? Or what would i do if i really need to leave Iris? And even would i be happy if she's not with me?

My mind was filled with a lot of unexplainable situations that might happen to us in the future and i'm starting to think that my parents didn't really love me because they made this decision for me by themselves

While i was sat in my bed, hugging a stuffed monkey Iris gave to me during our third date...

Flashback

We we're walking down the mall hand in hand. Today was one of the best days that happened in my life because i get to be with the the girl i love. While walking down, we spotted a shop that was filed with lots of stuffed animal and we decided to go in

"Hey babe, i want this elephant. Can you buy it for me?" My princess asked me showing her signature smile with those sparkly eyes that i can't resist

"Sure anything for you princess but, what would you give me for our third date?" I asked her brushing my thumb across her soft hand

She looked around the shop as if she's searching for the most precious hidden treasure in the world then her eyes lit up

"Hehe, i'll buy you that monkey" she showed me her cute smile and gave me a side hug. I really love it whenever she acted like this, she looks like the most precious thing in my eyes

"Thanks babe. Anything that you give me, i will treasure forever but why a monkey though?.." i asked her then she giggled

"Because, your my cheeky monkey"

"Hey..i'm not cheeky" i pouted

"Nice try, but you look ugly when you pout and besides you are cheeky so stop lying to yourself" she hit my arm playfully so i acted like i was hurt

"Come on, let's pay for it already" she smiled like a kid getting her favorite candy

I love her so damn much..

End of flashbacks

It has a faint scent of her because she gave me a spare of the perfume she always wear

Whenever i feel sad and miss her, i always hug this monkey and it will remind me all the good memories we've made the past 11 months

I really hope that the arrange wedding would be postponed

As i kept hugging the monkey, someone knocked on my door. Knowing by the situation, it would probably be my mom

"Come in" i blandly answered. She opened the door softly and sat down at the chair beside my bed

"Dear, please listen to me. I know you're still upset because me and your father arranged you with someone and i'm sorry because of that. I know how much you love Iris. I can see it in your eyes and i support you with her" she told me and i can feel the sincerity through her words the moment i looked her in the eyes

"Then why wouldn't you let me find a way to stop the arrangement?" I hissed

"Because, it's already decided and we can't stop the marriage now. The partnership will be ruined" My mom said while she took ahold of my hands

"You love the company more than your own son?! What kind of parents are you! You just let me be engaged with some random girl you partnered up with?!" I raised my voice

What kind of parents are they? They didn't even care for their own son. They chose their company over their own son. They didn't even consider my feelings even though from the start, i already love someone

"Please son listen to me, i'm sorry i agreed with your father but it's already been decided, i can't do anything about it. Plus the Lowell's are not gonna be happy about your sudden decision..." My mom lowered her head. Did she just said Lowell's?!

"Lowell's? You arranged me with Isabella? What the hell mom, you know that i don't like her attitude. I had to move from school to school because she keeps spreading fake rumours about us, telling people we're dating because she likes me and because of her, some of my friends are avoiding me. And now you arranged me with her?"

I couldn't take the news in. I hate the fact that i'm being arranged with her. I don't like her anymore, i just respect her to be my friend and i already love someone. I can't accept that she'll be my fiancé, i won't

"I'm so sorry Xian but please don't shout. You know how much your father doesn't like you raising your voice" she held my hands, pleading

"How could i calm down knowing you arranged me with Isa? I'm almost college mom and i want to marry my girlfriend in the future and you can't do anything about it" i said walking out of my mom and slam the door harshly

I can hear her voice calling for me from the balcony of my room but i didn't look back. I went inside my car and start the engine, heading out somewhere where my thoughts will take me

Iris's POV:

I woke up due to my alarm, hurting my ears. It was early in the morning, i got up and started getting ready for school. This is the last month of our school year and i'm not liking it one bit. A lot of things are happening and it seems as though my mind couldn't process everything

As i finished preparing, i head down stairs and received a warm smile from my mom

"Good morning sweety, are you alright now?" She asked me with concern

"Never been better" i replied to her with an reassuring smile

I know i can't lie to myself though, i'm not fine, infact i just wanna isolate myself from the world and break down

I sat down with my parents eating breakfast. Non of us spoke of what happened yesterday night but my dad decided to break the silence between us

"Iris i was thinking, what if you go to states to study for college? I think it will be better for you since this kind of situation decided to start" my dad told me with a serious tone in his voice

"Okay dad, if you think it's better for me then i'll go study in states i just have to tell my friends first" i replied to dad with a gentle smile

I was and will always be a good girl to them. I don't want to be a nuisance to my parents because they're already stressed with their work

***

As i finished my breakfast i bid my parents goodbye and head outside to meet our driver. My parents suggested for me to just let our driver drive me to school than just take the bus everytime

I went inside the car and we headed to the school. It's still 7 am so it's pretty early so i'm guessing there aren't many students by this time

Soon enough we arrived and i bid our driver goodbye. I hopped off the car and greeted Alex whose waiting beside the gate of the school

"Ryi what's with the face? You look like a corpse" she grabbed my face with both her hands

(Author: Ryi is a secret nickname of Iris and only her best friends know it)

"It's a long story, i'll tell you and Cloe later. Just.. not now" i gave her a small smile

We walked towards our class, ignoring the stares i get from the other students. Do i really look like a corpse right now? I should put a bit make up later

"I'll be back later Alex, i'll just put a little bit make up. I can't stand the stares i get from the other students" i pat her shoulder signaling i'll go

I went towards the restroom and started putting light make up on. I really should put make up these days, i look terrible

As i finished, i walked back towards the class and saw Cloe already arrived with a concern look on her face. I guess Alex already told her about me

"Ryi, what's wrong?" She ran towards me and engulfed me in her bone-crushing hug

In our little group, Cloe has been the most caring and the one who gets worried easily. That's why lots of guys like her because of her cute personality. She's just too naive to realize that

"Cloe, can you let go? I can't breathe" i let out a croaky voice due to the lack of oxygen because of Cloe's hug

After she let me go, both of them wore a serious face and made me explain my situation

***

"What would happen now? Between you two?" Alex held my hand and pat my back

I seriously don't know. I've been asking that question to myself too since yesterday night. I don't know if i'll let him go or not. I don't know if letting him go will be good for both our wellbeing or not, if you would ask me, i wouldn't want to leave him too. I love him and i can't accept the fact that he'll be betrothed

"I... I don't know the answer myself..." I answered while hanging my head low. I waited if tears would fall, but nothing happened. It seems as though i cried so much that no tears are left for me to release

"What... what about him? What would he do?" Cloe gently asked me

"I haven't spoke to him since last night" was all the words that came to my mouth

After that, no words seems to utter out of my mouth. After they saw the face i was making, they didn't say anything and just engulf me into a warm hug

I don't know what came over me and all the tears seems to fall down like water falls down my cheeks. I cried into their hug like there's no tomorrow, my chest hurt. It feels so tight that it pains me and i just want to bang into them

After a while of crying, i stopped. They were no more tears that fell, no tears to escape my eyes. Soon enough the classroom have been filled with students

***

"First lesson already ended and he hasn't arrived yet. Did he skip school for today?" I said those words in my head

He probably didn't want to come to school today. Well it's better off that he's not here because i wouldn't be able to face him today or ever

I maybe said that i'll fight for our love till i can but, i have no power to go against a fixed marriage. I have no will power to even try to stop the wedding to happen. I'll just let fate decide what might happen to this chapter of our story

I was cut off my thoughts once someone has knocked on my desk to gain my attention. I saw Tyler and Rex standing in front my desk

"What do you guys want?" I asked them with a bland tone. I'm not really in the mood to talk to someone right now

"Well, we saw lover boy sitting at the bench outside at the garden. Mind telling us what's going on?" Tyler asked me while raising his eyebrow

I can't lie to them, they are my best friends after all but at the same time i don't want to cry all over again so my choice right now it to try and change the topic

"What do you mean telling you guys what's going on? Maybe the guy just wanted some fresh air" i told them with a straight face. I don't want them to know i'm lying that's why i'm keeping a steady look on my face

But knowing this guys, they would probably read me like a book. They know me too well, we know each other since diaper days

"Nice try Ryi, but we know when you're lying or not" Rex flicked my forehead and glared at me. So much for not crying, now i have to tell them the truth

Ugh! I'm offended, i though i was their little sister and they would respect me if i don't want to tell them anything but suppose not. I showed them a sulky face and pouted

"We both know Ryi, that doesn't work on me and Rex. Now speak"

"Fine.." was all the word that came in my mouth before i told them what happened last night. I was swallowing my tears

"Ryi...let it out" was the words Tyler said and pushed me into my limit. Between Rex and Tyler, i'm closer with Tyler

Good thing we have an hour break before our next class starts because if not, i would look like a sausage dog right now who hasn't sleep a wink. I kept crying and crying on Tyler's shoulder while Rex is patting my back to try and calm me down

***

They both left and now i was left alone with just both Alex and Cloe to comfort me until someone decided to show up inside the almost empty classroom

"Princess..." Was the only words he uttered before i ran into his arms and cried

I can't lie to myself, even if i can't face him still, i can't stay away from him. Even if someday we have to be apart, i can't just abandon him

He whispered sweet nonsense to my ears to calm me down. I know he's been crying too, i can see his hooded eyes. He can't hide it from me

I finally decided to stop crying and faced him. I caress his cheeks, he looks tired. His face is pale, eyes are puffy and had dark circles underneath his eyes

"Where have you been? You look awful, you're even late for school" i scolded him as if everything was back to normal. He smiled a little and held both my hands... He smiled, at least i know he's happy

"I'm fine, as long as i'm with you, i'm always fine.."

I froze at his words. I'm sorry my love, but i think i can't stay by your side forever just like what you wish. I cannot be by your side when the world is very against it

"You know.... i can't be by your side forever.." i removed my hands from his warm grip. As much as it pains me, i can't stay by his side. I'm not needed there and i'm not suppose to be there

"But you can stay, we can stay together" those words we're music to my ears, almost want me to stay by his side just as he wishes 

"But you know, even if we stay together, you still have to obey your parents and get married"

These words are like sharp knives that dug across my heart. I know it's the truth but just as how they say, sometimes the truth is as bitter and as painful as they speak

"Are you saying... you can't fight for us anymore?" I turned dumbfounded the moment those words came out of his mouth. I know i can't fight anymore, i can no longer bare the pain. I couldn't answer his question

"Please don't give up on us, on me" he hugged me tightly. No words uttered out of my mouth as if my mind couldn't come up with a single answer

I hugged him back, as tight as his hug. I buried my face into his chest, afraid that i'll get a glimpse of his face. I can hear slight sobs and his chest raise up and down

"No, please don't cry.." i looked up from his chest and held his face. I can't bare to look at his pained face

"Please, i don't want to leave you"

"I can't stay by your side forever. You already have someone to marry" he held my hand that is in his face and looked at me with pure adoration in his eyes

"I don't care about her, i wanna be with you and i will be with you" more tears fell down his face as he spoke

My own tears are threatening to fall down any moment but i held it in. I'm tired of crying

"We can't.." we're the only words i can utter. My mind was too occupied to restrain myself from crying

"But i don't love her... I love you.." he cried even more

"I know, i know. I love you too that's why i need to let you go" I told him as the grip on his hand against mine tighten as if he's telling me to not let go

"Then if you truly love me, why are you letting me go? What is the point of you loving me if you let me go? What is love for you?"

I recall all of our memories from we first met, to our first get together, to our first date, to our first love conflict, to the moment he get to meet my parents and so on. Those memories are like treasure to me and i would keep them forever

"Love.. is something we can't easily describe. It's a feeling that is not easily to be given to just someone.
Love is when you care for someone and you're willing to do anything for him or her, for their sake, you can give up on everything" i answered with pure sincerity in my heart

"So.. you're giving up on me huh? For my sake? What about my happiness? Is it because of that too? You're willing to let me go so i can have the future my parents wanted for me to have?" Those words are the only thing that pushed me against the edge. I can feel tears rushing down my cheeks again

He hugged me as if his life depends on it. I don't want to give up on him too, i can't but i have to

"Please Iris, don't leave me. I can't imagine my future without you, please, don't leave me....please..." He pleaded like a child

I don't know what to do, i don't know what my answer will be.. please don't cry on me like that... I can't decide

And that's a wrap of chapter 24 of the story

Honestly while writing this chapter... I cried. I felt the pain my characters are going through. But in seriousness though, i cried throughout writing this

For those people who are having anxiety and depression, don't give up and always think that their are some people still that cares for you and love you

And i know the whole world are suffering because of the virus so everyone keep safe. Always wear your masks and have social distancing. Always carry alcohol with you and take vitamins and eat healthy

Today i wrote 3350+ words and i'm kinda proud because it's been 2 months since i updated this book because i'm losing inspiration and interest in this book

I'm still glad because some are actually still reading this piece of garbage that i'm writing 🤧❤️

Thank you very much to the people who are still reading this

Have a good night/day everyone

This has been author-nim

사랑해 친구 ❤️🌸