Quote #61
This, THIS quite possibly might be my favorite scene in River of Fire. Alderheart learns a lesson, we see how much Jayfeather truly appreciates having Alderheart around, and we get some flashbacks!
For context, this is the night before Alderheart knows Velvet and Fuzzball will be leaving the Clan for good, and he's left the medicine den to gather his thoughts:
A quiver in his whiskers told Alderheart that some cat was standing beside him; he turned his head to see Jayfeather.
"You may think it would be better, easier, outside of the medicine cats' den," his fellow medicine cat meowed. "But it won't."
"What do you mean?" Alderheart asked, his eyes widening in confusion.
"I know you and Velvet are starting to care for each other." Jayfeather's time was dry and unemotional. "And I know how that story usually ends."
"But I-" Alderheart began.
"I understand," Jayfeather interrupted. "Your feelings aren't wrong, but acting on them would be wrong. A mate and kits can't be part of a medicine cat's life. Your responsibilities to the Clan mean that you stand as a father to them, and they need to be your focus. You know Leafpool's my mother, right? You've heard that story?"
Alderheart nodded, and tried once more to speak, but Jayfeather forestalled him.
"Leafpool decided to fall in love and have kits," he went on. "Then she had to pretend that they were Squirrelflight's, and Squirrelflight went along with that because she loved her sister. That decision ruined part of my life, and my littermate's - especially my sister's life, because Hollyleaf killed Ashfur to keep the secret."
Jayfeather fixes his blind gaze on Alderheart, sounding unusually serious. "We need you in ThunderClan, Alderheart. You're a good medicine cat. You work hard to keep your Clan healthy, and you have a real connection to StarClan. And you're young: you'll take care of the next generation of ThunderClan cats, just as you looked after Twigpaw. If ThunderClan had to lose you, it would be like a wound that wouldn't heal."
For a few heartbeats Alderheart was too stunned and flattered to speak. Is this really Jayfeather telling me this?
"It's true, I like Velvet," he mewed at last. "And I do feel a pull toward her. But you don't have to worry, Jayfeather. I would never leave ThunderClan. I don't doubt any longer that my place is here. It's just...well, it's nice to have a cat to talk to who doesn't need my help. I'll miss that."
"Really?" Jayfeather sounded surprised and relieved. "You weren't thinking you might go with Velvet to the Twolegplace?"
"No," Alderheart responded. "I was thinking about how to say good-bye."
Jayfeather gave his shoulder fur a couple of awkward licks, clearly finding it hard to respond. "Thanks, Alderheart," he meowed with a clumsy dip of his head. "That's good to hear." He took a pace backward and disappeared into the den.
Alderheart watched him go, letting out a purr of affection. I know where I belong, he thought. It's with you, you grouchy, difficult, dedicated furball. And with ThunderClan.
Sometimes I forget that Jayfeather and Alderheart are first cousins. I find that precious.
From A Vision of Shadows: River of Fire
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