BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS

"With one goal, all together, offering a helping hand we can speed up this process and finish what we plan for. My trust is in everyone's shoulder, I know we can do it. Now let's get this done."

Nagpalakpakan ang mga tao pagkatapos magsalita ni Rake Alicante sa stage. My eyes were all on him, fierce and ruthless.

Oh, it was almost two years since the last time I saw him. Wala parin pinagbago ang mukha niya, he still had dominant image when he talked and walked.

Pinapanood ko siyang bumalik sa kanyang mesa. I laughed a little, he said the same thing I told him before. Let's get this done. . .Rake Alicante. Hindi pa tayo tapos.

"Like hello? Bitch? Are you still with me? Kanina pa ako nagke-kwento rito about my perfect man. But you're not even listening." Ashley Esqueza, my bestfriend fumed.

They were here too because of my ex, Zachary Levi Esqueza. Si Ashley Esqueza at isang empleyado nito ang naging representative ng kompanya nila para makadalo sa event na ito. I grabbed the opportunity to execute my plan.

Hindi naman mahirap pakisamahan si Ashley, kahit away-bati kami madalas. Kailangan ko lang magpanggap na nakikinig sa kwento niya kahit wala naman akong pakialam.

Napatingin ako sakanya at ininom ang alak na nasa baso ko. "Don't set your expectation too high. Bandang huli, sa panaginip ka nalang makakakita ng perpektong lalaki," pag-a-advice ko sakanya.

Ashley rolled he eyes, her long fake eyelashes was touching her eyelid. "I won't never like ever lower my standard just because those men aren't meeting them. Sila ang mag-a-adjust hindi ako." she crossed her arms.

I smirked at her. "Then choose the better guy, Ash." Napatingin naman ako kay Rake Alicante na kausap ang ibang businessmen sa gilid.

They were shaking his hands, mukhang alam na alam na niya ang paraan para makuha ang loob ng mga tao. He smiled to them, I stopped. Because I never saw him smile like that before.

"Sino ba kasi ang tinitingnan mo dyan at hindi kana sumasagot sa sinasabi ko--- oh, my God, Ericka! I know what you're thinking at kung anuman ang pinaplano mo ngayon let go of it. Dahil alam ko na wala naman maidudulot na mabuti sa'yo 'yan." pigil nito. "Past is past, alright?"

I strolled my index finger on the rim of the glass I was holding. "Who told you past is past? Oh, you know me well. My past isn't my past not unless I say it's over."

"You guys were over, Bitch! Leave the poor man alone. Mukhang masaya na siya sa buhay niya. H'wag mo na guluhin 'yong tao. Mind your own business, itatak mo sa sarili mo kung bakit tayo andito."

Hindi ko na siya pinapakinggan dahil na kay Rake Alicante lang ang atensyon ko ngayon. "Actually, I won't do something stupid." But my voice said otherwise. "I promised, pinky swear. Gusto ko lang siya makausap at mangamusta, maybe, just maybe, he misses me, don't you think?"

"Ericka naman, h'wag mo na paguluhin ulit ang buhay mo."

She was my bestfriend, but I didn't tell her how our story went on, we had a tragic one and the sad part was, he didn't know.

"Ashley~ Wohooo~ Nakausap ko na ang mga kailangan natin maka---" napahinto ito ng makita ako. "Wait, alis na pala ako!"

It was Romeo, Erin's gay bestfriend. He was scared of me because I was his boss two years ago, puro pasakit lang ang binigay ko rito para mas lalong humirap ang buhay niya.

Of course, I was a bitch. Kaya kapag nakikita ako nito bigla na lang namumutla ang bakla at napapatalikod.

"Romeo, stop! Andito naman ako, hindi ka niya maaaway ngayon." pigil ni Ashley rito.

I was laughing evilly. "Hey, Ro-meow, where do you think you're going?" nawala na ang ngiti ko nang humarap ito sa'kin. "Sinabi ko na ba na umalis ka? The last time I check, wala naman akong inuutos?"

"A-ah e-eh, Ms. Ericka, nagawa ko na naman 'yung inutos mo sa'kin kanina. G-gusto ko lang sabihin kay Ashley 'yong natapos ko din para makauwi na ako," nauutal na sagot nito.

Biglang hinila ni Ashley 'yong buhok ko. "What the fuck, Ashley Esqueza! Don't you dare touch my hair here. Kung hindi magkakapatayan tayo rito," I threatened.

"Tigilan mo kasi si Romeo! Wala naman ginagawa 'yong tao tinatakot mo nanaman. Kaya lumalayo ang mga kakilala natin sa'yo eh, evil bitch ka parin kasi."

"Oh, I know that part, h'wag mo na ipaalala sa'kin. I've memorized it by heart," sabi ko at tumayo. "Aalis na ako at iiwan ko muna kayong dalawa."

"Ericka, saan ka naman pupunta?! Gosh, h'wag kang magkalat ng lahi mo rito, pwede ba!"

Ngumisi ako at deretsong naglakad papunta sa kinatatayuan ni Romeo. He was shaking and biting his nails.

Hinawakan ko siya sa balikat. "Magkasing tangkad pala tayo?" dumeretso ang kamay ko sa leeg nito. "H'wag kang mag-alala balang araw, pasasalamatan mo ako. Balang araw magiging lalaki ka dahil sa'kin."

Muntikan itong masuka pero nahawakan agad ang bibig nito. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

"W-wala po, w-wala po akong ginagawang masama," Romeo explained.

"Oh, just entertain my friend." I patted his shoulder.

"Ericka, please!"

Hindi ko na pinansin ang sigaw ni Ashleyz Lumapit na ako kung nasaan si Rake Alicante. He was busy talking to them that he didn't notice my presence. I wondered if they belong to our organization here.

"Hello, gentlemen. Do you mind if I join?"

Parang kiti-kiti na nabaling ang mga atensyon nito sa'kin. Mostly, their eyes were stuck to the V-neck area of my dress, that was highlighting my cleavage. I trailed my hand over, teasing them all at once.

"Ericka is the name by the way." pagpapakilala ko sakanila. "Nice meeting you all."

Isa-isa nila hinalikan ang kamay ko na may pagnanasa sa mata.

"Our pleasure, Ms. Ericka, anything you need?" nagdilim ang mata ng nagtanong sa'kin.

Tumingin ako kay Rake, he was serious. "Nothing in particular. Parang gusto ko lang makipag-usap ngayon gabi," ibinaling ko sa ibang lalaki ang tingin.

Well, wala pang isang minuto pero mukhang nakakatanggap na siya ng indecent proposal. Hindi inaalis ng mga lalaki ang tingin sa'kin. Sinulyapan ko ulit si Rake Alicante, he was standing like a mannequin, not letting his emotion show off.

"Oh, you look very familiar. Have we met before?" I asked, seductively. "Kasi parang nakita na talaga kita dati, eh, hindi ko lang matandaan?"

But deep in my mind, Nagsisimula na akong makipaglaro sakanya.

"Have you been in hell? Because I went there before," seryosong sagot ni Rake sa'kin.

"Right. Kaya pala familiar kana sa'kin. Yes, that's actually my home," natatawang sabi ko. Nagsitawanan naman ang mga lalaking nakapaligid samin. "You are Lucifer and I am the queen of the damned. That makes us a perfect match."

"I have to disagree." nalipat ang tingin ng mga lalaki kay Rake. "Someone save me from the darkness I was in. Kaya hindi ko na kailangan ng babaeng tutulong sa'kin."

"Well, I feel that," I said sarcastically. "Gentlemen, if you'll excuse us. I need to borrow him. I just need a little chitchat with Rake Alicante, alone, do you mind?" I asked, pero na kay Rake lang ang mga mata ko.

"Of course, Ericka," sabay-sabay na sagot nito. "Kung ayon ang gusto mo, ibibigay namin. Pero ayon din ba ang gusto ni Mr. Alicante?" tanong ng isa.

Hindi naalis ang ngisi sa mga labi ko nang hawakan ni Rake ang braso ko at hinila ako palayo. Nakakunot ang noo ng mga lalaki sa inasal ni Rake. Kinindatan ko sila at nagpaubaya sa kamay na humihila sa'kin.

The crowd was too busy to notice us. Nararamdaman ko nanaman ang lakas ng tiwala ko sa sarili ko. Kung napaikot ko siya rati, mas mapapaikot ko siya ngayon.

"Nagkita ulit tayo, Ekar? How's the feeling? Great, yeah?" tanong ko habang palabas na kami ng building.

"Don't make a scene here. Madaming tao at madaming mata ang nakatingin sa'kin." mas binilisan ni Rake ang paglalakad.

"Don't tell me, natatakot ka dahil baka makita ng fiance mo?" natatawang tanong ko. "Kailan ka pa naging under sa isang babae, Rake Alicante? You're way different."

Binitawan niya ako nang malayo na kami sa mga tao. We were in the parking area, sobrang tahimik, tanging ang ihip ng hangin lang ang naririnig ko at ang paghabol ko ng paghinga dahil sa paglalakad namin ng mabilis.

"We're over, Ericka." His voice was strong and deep. It was enough to turn me on.

Oh, how I missed this man. His grayed eyes that was staring at me intensely again. Those dark mysterious eyes. Kahit na iniwan ako ni Rake Alicante pagkatapos ng dalawang linggo, alam ko na iisa lang ang ugali na mayroon kami.

We were both stubborn. Hindi kami titigil hangga't hindi kami nananalo sa kanya-kanyang laro na sinimulan namin pareho.

"Rake. . ." I was moaning. "My, my, my dear Rake. . .don't you miss me? I've miss you so much."

Umatras ito ng bahagya nang hahawakan ko ang balikat niya. Scared now, Ekar?

"I will never miss a devil, Ericka." nakatingin ito ng deretso sa'kin, nilalabanan ang tingin ko. "Hindi na ako interesado sa'yo ngayon."

"Then why's that? Because of her? Your gold digger little bitch. Rake, are you blind? Pareho lang kami ng pakakasalan mo. Ang pinagkaiba lang namin, mas maganda ako, mas may utak at mas may class kaysa sakanya," My sensual voice was confident as ever.

"Stop comparing yourself to her, Ericka. Dahil malayo na malayo ang paguugali niyo. My fiance is a good woman." Diniinan ni Rake ang salitang 'fiance' na nagpangisi ng mukha ko. "She will never be you. Because she's better."

"Better?" I laughed, mocking him. "Do you even know what you're saying? Guess what, Ekar, hindi mo pa siya kilala at sinasabi ko sayo ngayon na iwanan mo siya dahil kapag hindi mo ginawa 'yon----"

Hahawakan ko sana ulit siya nang mapigilan niya ang kamay ko. Mas diniinan ni Rake ang pagkakahawak doon. "Then what, Ericka? Are you going to destroy her? Kill her? Not a chance. I won't let that happen."

Nilapit ko ang bibig sa tenga niya. "Nah. . .mas gusto ko munang pahirapan siya kaysa patayin siya, it's what she deserves. Wait," naapahinto ako at tinanggal ang pagkakahawak ni Rake sa kamay ko.

I was walking slowly, letting him see my whole body. "Everyone has a secret they won't tell anyone. Alam mo naba kung ano ang sakanya?"

"Gagawin mo ang lahat para siraan siya sa'kin, 'di ba, Ericka? Kilala kita at paano ka makipaglaro. You play dirty and wild."

"How about that bitch? Paano ba siya nakikipaglaro? Hide and seek, yeah?"

"Stop calling my fiance a bitch," pagtatanggol nito. "And no, she doesn't play games like you. She's mature enough to start a family with me."

I stopped circling. "Wow. Pang-Oscar award 'yan speech mo, Ekar. Teka, gusto mo ba bigyan ko kayong dalawa ng slow clap at i-congratulate? Well, here you go." I started clapping my hand slowly.

"Stop what you're fucking doing, Ericka. Hindi na ako natutuwa sa'yo. Hindi mo kilala si Laura---"

"Laura?" natatawang ulit ko sa pangalan na nagbibigay pait sa dila ko. "Kilala ko siya, Rake. I don't want to lie but I truly do, she's actually my classmate before. We were both in section hell hashtag see her someday back there, together with our devilish teacher Satan, hindi niya ba nakwento sa'yo 'yon?"

"You're really crazy, Ericka. I'm glad I ended what we had two years ago. You're not worth the risk."

Magkasalubong ang kilay ko pero hindi parin nawawala ang ngisi sa bibig ko. "Should I say, oops ouch, you did it again?" humakbang ako papalapit sakanya. He took a step back. "Then why did you leave? Natakot ka ba na baka mahulog ka sa'kin ng tuluyan?"

He stopped. His eyes were blazing in fury. "Because you have to taste your own medicine, Ericka Quinn. Hindi lahat ng bagay masusunod sa kung ano ang gusto mo."

"You left me with a blindfold and a handcuff in my both hands," I stated bitterly. "And now you're fucking tell me that I have to taste my own medicine because of what? Helping you around about this dark world of us? God, Rake, akala ko ba matalino ka?"

"I am. Kaya tayo anditong dalawa para mag-usap. Adult to adult. Let's talk like a mature people do. Ano ba talagang gusto mo? Bakit kailangan mo pang bumalik at magpakita sa'kin pagkatapos ng dalawang taon? Ano ito, Ericka? Our first meeting anniversary?" there was a venom in his voice.

Hindi ito ang oras para magpatalo sa isang Rake Alicante. I needed to use him again, to plant my revenge against his fiance, Laura.

"Of course, it is all for you. Only you, Rake Alicante. Maging proud ka sa sarili mo dahil hinabol ka ng isang Ericka Quinn Lopez, I don't do this alot but for you, I will," mapaglarong sagot ko.

"That's the most bullshit thing I've heard tonight!" Medyo tumaas ang boses ni Rake, his eyes turned darker than usual. His brows were deep furrowed. "I know you're up to something. Hindi lang dahil sa'kin at lalong hindi dahil sa pakakasalan ko si Laura. Kilala kita, Ericka."

"Aw, thanks, darling. My pleasure. Mas kilala mo pa pala ako kaysa sa sarili ko."

He looked at me in disbelief. "Stop this. I don't want you in my life anymore. I'm happy and contended to what I have now, Ericka," he explained but I watched his sorrow like it was nothing but trash to me. "When I met you it two years ago, it was the darkest time of my life. I was not myself that time. May mga nagawa ako na hindi dapat. And I'm sorry for what it caused you. But we're really over. I can't play this game fo yours anymore."

"Walang tapos sa tayo, Rake Alicante," The smirked on my face disappeared. He was getting on my nerves. Seryoso akong nakatingin sa mga mata niya na hindi inaalis ang pagkakatitig sa'kin. "We are barely starting. Watch out for me."

"Layuan mo na ako. I don't want any chaos in my life," he pleaded.

Pero huli na ang lahat dahil desidido na ako sa kung anong laro ang papasukin ko ngayon. "Well, ayaw mo ng gulo? H'wag mong ituloy ang kasal mo sa babae na 'yan."

"Who do you think you are to decide for me? Hindi tayo magkaano-ano, Ericka. We were just once a fuck buddy. Naging parausan lang kita dati."

Fuck buddy? Alam niya ba na normal na sa'kin 'yon? Hindi niya ako masasaktan basta-basta.

He was a bit angry now. Mas lalong na-e-excite ang innerself ko sa boses niya. Tumawa ako ng malakas, 'yong tawa na sa isang kontrabida mo lang madidinig. Oo nga pala, ayaw ni Rake Alicante ang inuutusan siya.

I crossed my arms, tilted my head. "I'm Ericka Quinn Lopez, 29. Your fuckbuddy you said—"

"Stop reminiscing, Ericka. Nandidiri ako sa sarili ko kapag naiisip ko 'yon."

"But, darling. It was the best year of my life, you should be proud and give yourself a tap in the back."

"Ericka, kung ayaw mong magulo ang buhay mo layuan mo na 'ko. You should've thank me that I left you."

"Thank you? What way? Do you want me to fuck you tonight? Come on, darling. I'll show you how thankful I am because of what you did."

He looked at me in dismay then turned around and pulled out his cigarette. Sinundan ko siya agad at sinabayan ng lakad. Mas lalong dumidilim sa parte na dinadaanan namin.

"You're being ridiculous, Ericka," sabi ni Rake at binuga ang usok. "Bakit ba ang hirap mo tanggalin sa buhay ko?"

"Dahil wala ako sa isip mo, Ekar." kinuha ko sakanya ang sigarilyo na hawak. Huminto naman si Rake sa paglalakad at napatingin sa'kin. I took a long drag and blew at him. "Dahil andyan na ako sa puso mo ng hindi mo namamalayan."

He shook his head. "H'wag kanang magdesisyon sa kung ano ang naiisip ko. You know nothing about me," he said. "Hindi mo alam kung anong epekto ang nagawa mo sa buhay ko."

As usual, I couldn't read his mind. His deep grayed eyes were confused and hurt. Bakit siya pa ang may gana na magpakita sa'kin ng ganon pero siya naman ang nanakit sa'kin?

"No," I said. "You, don't know anything about me. Nasaktan mo ako ng hindi namamalayan."

"You're still a mystery Ericka."

"I always am and always will. Oh, how I loved mysteries."

We were quiet for a moment. Sumandal ako sa sasakyan na nasa gilid ko habang pinapanood ako ni Rake na magsigarilyo. People misjudged me all the time, dahil ayon ang gusto ko na makita nila sa pagkatao ko. Strong, a bitch and never giving a fuck.

"Isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit kita iniwan," he said after a long paused.

Humithit muli ako ng sigarilyo at binuga mismo sa harap niya. "You left me because you know the real me."

"No, I left you because I don't want to hurt you."

"You did, unintentional nga lang," kibit-balikat na sagot ko at tinapon ang sigarilyo sabay tinapakan ko.

Hinahangin ang damit na suot ko parang may dumaang-anghel nanaman sa pagitan namin. Napatingin ako kay Rake, nakakunot ang kanyang noo. Alam kong hindi niya maintindihan ang sinasabi ko ngayon. But someday, he would.

Ayoko pang malaman niya iyon dahil magiging madali para kay Laura ang pwedeng mangyari. Unti-unti kong aagawin ang lahat sakanya ng harapan, katulad ng ginawa niya sa'kin.

"Are you really going to marry that bitch?" I asked again.

"She's not a bitch, Ericka," he defended her again too.

"Bakit mo si'ya pinagtatanggol? Don't you know she's a sinner like me?"

"We all are." maikling sagot sa'kin ni Rake. "Different sin, different time."

"Ayokong matuloy ang kasal niyo ng worthless bitch na 'yan, Rake."

Tiningnan siya ni Rake at hinawakan sa pisngi. Feeling niya ba ito na ang huli nilang pagkikita? Bitch. No. Hindi ako papayag.

"But I'm not playing your games anymore," I could see the sincerity in his eyes. "Ayoko na, matanda na tayo pareho para ulitin ang nakaraan."

"You will play it again kapag itinuloy mo ang kasal niyo." I answered absentmindedly.

Laura was a two faced bitch. Kung hindi mapapasakin si Rake mas lalo naman na hindi ako makakapayag na mapunta sakanya.

"I'm sorry Ericka. . .I was lost and fragile when I met you. Hindi dapat kita ginamit para makalimutan ko ang mga problema ko nung mga panahon na——"

"Just kiss me, Rake." putol ko sakanya at nilapit ang mukha ko. "Kiss me as hard as you could. Like you've never kissed me before. Kiss me. Like you're not engaged with that worthless faked bitch. Na hindi tayo nagkasakitan, kiss me and I'll think about this come back if I'll start it or not. Kiss me, Rake. Just kiss---"

He attacked my mouth before I finished my last word. He pushed me to one of the car behind us, and just like the old time, I encircled my legs to his waist. Hinawakan naman ni Rake ang bewang ko.

Oh fuck. He missed me too. I didn't care kung may makakita sa amin. As of now, I wanted to be kiss by him like this again, like before. I moaned nang maramdaman kong iginilid niya ang tela na nagtatakip sa dibdib ko.

He massaged it using his thumb. Mas lalo akong napaungol sa ginagawa niya. My nipple was hard and sensitive to his touch. Nagtatalo ang lamig ng kapaligiran sa init na binibigay niya sa'kin.

Isinabunot ko ang buhok ni Rake at iginiya pababa kung nasaan ang daliri niya. He sucked it hard. The adrenaline was rushing to my body. I missed his mouth, I missed his tongue. . .oh I missed his magic touch.

Mas lalo akong nawala sa sarili ko nang lumipat siya sa kabilang dibdib ko, he played it using his tongue, teasing it. Nasa gitna na ako ng kasarapan na ginagawa niya ng biglang may bumusina sa likuran namin.

Rake put his hand around me, hiding my exposed body in his expensive suit. Napalingon naman ako sa ginawa niya.

"Don't move," utos nito sa'kin. Ngumisi lang ako sakanya.

We stayed like that for a moment, hanggang sa nakaalis na ang sasakyan na nakakita samin. Inayos ko ang sarili ko nang bitiwan niya ako ng tuluyan. Pareho parin kaming hinihingal sa ginawa namin.

Nakatingin si Rake sa malayo habang pinagmamasdan ko ang pagsisisi sa mukha niya. Ngumiti ako. Oh, Rake Alicante, darling, you can't really resist my charm.

Huminga ito ng malalim at tumingin sa'kin ng seryoso. "You asked me to kiss you." depensa nito.

"Yep, I asked you and you did what I want. Ayaw mo ng inuutusan ka sa mga dapat mong gawin pero sa mga ganitong bagay---"

May cellphone na nag-ri-ring. Awtomatikong itinaas agad ni Rake ang kamay at pinapatahimik siya sabay kuha ng cellphone mula sa bulsa nito.

"Hon, I'll be home. Medyo nagkakatuwaan lang dito," sambit nito sa kausap.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Nagkatuwaan pala, ha? I could give him more of that.

"Yes, hindi pa ako kumakain. I'll join you. I love you, too, I'll call you later," ibinaba nito agad ang cellphone bago pa ako makapagsabi ng hindi niya inaasahan na salita.

Nginisian ko siya. "So, the worthless bitch is calling you already?" usisa ko. "I'm not happy with that."

"She's not a bitch and she has a name. And your opinion doesn't matter," pagdedepensa nanaman nito kay Laura.

"Well, well, if she's not a bitch and her name is Laura. Please tell her my message because my opinion must matter starting tonight." huminga ako ng malalim at inayos ang suot niya.

I gave him a sharp threatening look. "Sabihin mo kay Laura na itigil niyo ang kasal niyo bago pa 'ko pumunta sa simbahan habang kinakasal kayo. Because believe me or not, I wouldn't mind wearing a black gown with a black veil and a black lipstick on your wedding day just to get you from her, at sapilitan na ako ang pakasalan mo. Hope we're clear."