Sa sobrang busy ko na naman. Kaya walang time i-edit at basahin ulit. Ayusin ko nalang kapag okay na ang lahat sa akin! :)

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For Ericka, seeing that little tears was like looking at her soul. She closed her eyes. She didn't want Rake to see that. Ayaw n'yang makita nito ang kahinaan n'ya dahil hindi sanay si Ericka na ipakita sa mga tao kung ano ang magpapabagsak sa kanya. She wouldn't let them use it against her.

"Ericka Quinn..." his voice were concerned.

Ericka looked at him. Pinahid n'ya ang isang mata na may tumulong luha. She didn't expect this too, gaya ng reaksyon ngayon ni Rake. Nagulat din s'ya nang maramdaman n'ya ang pagpatak ng luha n'ya.

"Are you hurt?"

Those three words caught her off guard.

Are you hurt?

In her thirty years of life. No one ever ask her that question. Maybe because she never cry infront of everybody. It was not her thing, she believed that crying is for the weak.

Mariin n'yang ipinikit ang mata. Pinipigilan na ang susunod na tutulo mula rito. She's supposed to be acting, right? Pero bakit ganito? Nasasaktan padin s'ya.

Huminga si Ericka ng malalim. Are you hurt? The question was echoing on her head. She tried to remember the last time someone asked her if she's hurt. Pero wala s'yang maalala. Kahit simula pagkabata ata walang sinuman ang nagtanong sa kanya kung nasasaktan na ba s'ya.

Not even her parents...  When she knew that her father had another family and her mom was a mistress. Walang nagtanong sa kanya, na kung okay pa ba sa kanya ang nangyayari. Noong panahon na iniwan sila nito ng kanyang ina walang nagtanong sa kanya, kung ayos lang ba s'ya.

She bit her lip so hard to refrain that emotion from filling her. Are you hurt? Bumalik sa kanya ang alaala habang isinasaboy ang abo ng kanyang ina at unti-unting nagsisialisan ang mga tao sa paligid. No one fucking dare to ask her. Not even when she lost her sister and feel empty the whole time.

As a teenager, she grew up finding the right answer to that question; is it a yes or no? Was she really hurt? Or in pain? Was she lost?

No one dare because no one care.

Not when her Tiya Judith beat her to death. She recalled someone asked her, "What happened?" instead of "Are you okay?". Or not when she had her heart first broken. Or the first time she gave herselft to a man. Whenever she looked at the mirror, she was still staring to that strong woman that her mother told her.

Ericka believed she wasn't hurt because she was too numb to feel the pain.

"Stay, Rake." mahinang utos n'ya. "I need you just this once. Sumasakit pa ang pagkatulak sa akin ni Laura. It hurt a little... So stay. Kahit saglit lang."

Sumampa si Rake sa kama at umupo sa tabi n'ya. He held her hand and entwined it together, tila ba naiintindihan nito ang nararamdaman n'ya ngayon. Pero ang tanong, pareho ba sila ng interpretasyon sa emosyon n'ya?

"I'm sorry." he murmured. "Nag-usap na kami ni Laura na hindi ka n'ya sasaktan."

"I'm so used to it." she answered. "Alam mong kaya kong gawin ang lahat para ipagtanggol ang sarili ko. But sometimes I can't do anything to defend what's inside me." kinuha n'ya ang kamay ni Rake at nilagay sa t'yan n'ya. "How's the feeling?"

Ngumiti si Rake sa kanya. As if, he could feel it. What he didn't know, it was all empty like the woman infront of him.

"Perfection." huminga si Rake ng malalim at nagulat si Ericka nang lumapit ang mukha ni Rake sa t'yan n'ya. She didn't move. She was now wishing that this was real. That the life she once treasured was still alive. "Nararamdaman na kaya n'ya ako?"

Bigla s'yang natawa sa tanong ni Rake. "Why are you asking me like this is your first time? Nakakailang anak kana ba?"

"With you... It's different, Quinn." seryoso ang mukha ni Rake nang tingnan n'ya.

Bumitaw si Ericka sa pagkakahawak nito sa kamay n'ya kaya naiwan ang kay Rake sa t'yan n'ya. He stayed still like that. Ericka didn't mind, ganito naman talaga sila dati.

"Of course, I'm unique. I don't deserve to be compared with someone else, you know."

Huminga ng malalim si Rake at binawi ang kamay. "Same with the way you think. I wish there are things that you've never done before."

"I commit a lot of mistakes." she admitted. "I'm aware, you don't need to remind me."

"So did I." sagot nito sa kanya. "Pero hindi mo ba naiisip that your pregnancy is somehow a good sign for us ---for you?"

Tumaas ang kilay ni Ericka at umayos ng upo. Hinubad na n'ya ang leather jacket na suot. "Why do you think so?"

"Maybe this is your redemption."

She laughed sardonically. "No shit, Rake. I sold myself to a devil."

"Don't be funny, Ericka." umiiling na saad ni Rake. "I know how bitch you are but everyone deserved every chances in life."

Tinitigan n'ya ng mabuti si Rake. "Look at me." she commanded. Nakakunot ang noo ni Rake na tumingin sa kanya. "Do you think it suits me? Doing good things? Ni hindi nga ako makatiis ng isang oras na walang iniisip na masama."

Ngumisi si Rake sa kanya. Right now, she wondered why they were having this conversation.

"I know, Quinn." ipinalig ni Rake ang ulo n'ya sa headboard ng kama. "That's why sometimes I wish I met you the other way around. Not like how we've met before."

"Oh, darling. Reminiscing now, aren't we?"

"Gusto ko lang isipin ang magiging buhay natin ngayon kung hindi nangyari ang mga bagay na nagawa natin dati."

Tumingin s'ya kay Rake. "We'll never meet." sagot n'ya at umusog si Ericka para dumikit kay Rake. Inihiga n'ya ang ulo sa balikat nito at inikot ang kamay sa braso. "I'm probably in some abandon place of this country living a maldita simple life."

She heard his laugh. Hindi ito ang mga bagay na madalas nilang ginagawa ni Rake. They don't talk like this. It's so normal... Nakakapanibago. It was more than just when a man see you naked. No, this was her naked soul.

Kung mag-usap sila ngayon, parang walang Laura na naghihintay sa labas ng pinto ng kwarto. Parang wala s'yang plano maghiganti. Parang okay ang lahat, na wala s'yang babalikan.

"You'll never survive there, Quinn." he teased.

"Paano mo naman nasabi?"

"I just knew." nagkatinginan sila ni Rake. Nakangiti ito sa kanya. She didn't know what's wrong with them. Para silang nasaniban ng anghel ngayon. Nakatulala s'ya sa magandang mukha ni Rake nang magsalita ulit ito. "I feel so protective right now, Quinn."

"You should be." she said.

"And I'm glad about that child." hindi nakaramdam si Ericka ng anuman konsensya sa katawan. She's good at this. "Kahit na alam kong ayaw ni Laura sa sitawasyon ngayon. I still admire her for that."

"Do you love her?"

"She's my fiance, Quinn. Yes, I do."

"Anyway..." dahan-dahan n'yang itinataas-baba ang kamay sa braso ni Rake. "You love me too."

"Does it sound like I'm using two woman?"

"Yes." she answered. "Because you're an asshole."

"Ang alam ko lang, magulo."

"I agree. Sobrang gulo. But right now, what are we?" bumangon s'ya sa pagkakadantay sa balikat nito.

Tinititigan s'ya ni Rake at ngumiti. "Ordinary people."

"You like that song, huh? You're a John Legend fan."

"Despite of my old age... I still have good taste in music, Quinn." he smirked at her, as if nothing happened awhile ago. But the smile disappeared for a nano second. "Ericka, no matter how hard you want me to be with you, we can't. I made a mistake in the past and so are you."

Kahit gaano pa kadalas i-deny ni Ericka sa sarili n'ya na ginagamit n'ya lang si Rake. Alam n'yang may iba pa s'yang rason kung bakit hindi s'ya makabitaw rito.

"You think we're making the same mistake again?"

"I want you to forgive me now..."

Tumingin si Ericka kay Rake, mata sa mata. She sincere for a moment. "Forgive me too." nagulat ito sa sinabi n'ya. "I know things won't get easy, Rake."

"Walang madali sa'yo, Ericka." he said. "It's fucking annoying because we're having that like-hate relationship. One second we're okay then the next thing we're not. Like I want to make up to you right now, later I want to choke you to death."

"Halos lahat ng tao sinasabi sa akin 'yan." she remembered how her victims loathe her. How they wish they never met her. "But do you really hate me, Rake?" she asked this question to measure how much he would hate her someday.

When he finally know the truth. Maybe, he would kill her without hesitation. Pero sana matapos na muna n'ya ang paghihiganti kay Laura.

"So much, Quinn."

Tumawa si Ericka. "Are we playing our games before?"

Kumunot ang noo ni Ericka dahil imbis na sagutin s'ya ni Rake tumingin ito sa relo na nasa kamay. Then he stood up infront of her.

"Time's up, Quinn. We're back to what we are."

Well, this was their 'hate relationship' he was saying.

"We're back to what we are." she agreed. Buti na lang at nakatingin ito sa kanya. She stared at him like she shut all of her emotions. "And I'm not backing out, Rake. I won't lose this game. I promised."