Sorry, kung ngayon lang ako nakapag-update. May tinapos kasi ako huhu. Wish me luck sa result. :D

Just wanna say thank you rins sa mga nag message sakin ng book cover sa stories ko. And those people commenting here, you guys, inspire the shit out of me.

Unedited po ito. Sorry in advance. 🐷

Her outfit

CHAPTER 6

I was thinking about Rake's proposal and my idea. I need to be smart-minded when it comes to this. Hindi lang buhay ko ang isinasang-alang ko rito. It includes my two children, Rebecka's life and his.

Though I always wanted to had a normal family. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko, na kahit piliin ko si Rake at pakasalan siya. Hindi mangyayari 'yon. The past would always haunt me. He, on the other hand would do everything to ruin me and bring back my oldself.

Which I was dreading most. I don't like it. She didn't know how to love, she didn't care, she completely destroyed everyone around her. It would always be chaos having her around and controlling this life.

"If that's the case, Ericka, considered it done. Where do you want to marry?" deretsong tanong ni Rake sa'kin. "Vegas? Paris? Mexico? Tell me, Ericka. I want to give you everything this life has to offer."

Nagulat ako at napatingin sa seryosong mukha niya. He's kidding, didn't he? He agreed to my proposal?!

Halo-halo ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Saya at takot. Saya, dahil pagkalipas ng ilan taon, sa dami ng pinagdaanan ko para kay Hope/Rebecka, I could finally see her.

At takot ,dahil hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang ginagawa ko. There was only me to blame if things gone wrong.

"I-I want to see my daughter first," mahinang sabi ko sa kanya.

Hinawi ni Rake ang buhok na tumatakip sa mukha ko. I could see the excitement in his eyes. "Kapag bumalik na tayo. I'll schedule it. But the time you get to see her, Ericka, the next day we have to do the wedding."

I crossed my hand and creased my forehead. "Why do you want to marry me so bad? Ang dami-daming babaeng may gusto sayo at ang dami kong kasalanan na nagawa sayo sa nakaraan natin. Hindi ka ba natatakot na baka maulit ang lahat?"

Rake smiled at me. His dark eyes looking at me softly. "Of course, they will never be you." hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. He pressed it.

"But why?" nagtataka parin tanong ko. "Anong meron ako na wala sila?"

Huminga ng malalim si Rake. "When you left me that day, I was devastated. I felt the same thing when I lost my son. At ayoko na makaramdam ng ganon, Ericka. Gagawin ko ang lahat para hindi ko maranasan 'yon. You see, you are the light of this dark world of mine. Ikaw ang nagbaba-balanse ng buhay ko. That if I lost you, I'll lose it, too. Don't be bother about our past, I don't think of it anymore, as long as it won't interfere our future I don't see any problem with it."

"It will always haunt us down, you know." I quietly told him. "Rake, our story was a mystery that would never be solve. It was like a fairytale with no happy ending. A pain, that would never disappear. A soul that forever be lost and am a lost soul. I maybe back now, but one day I will be gone again."

"Don't say that, Quinn. The thought of losing you again is killing me. Nangyari na ang dapat mangyari, we have nothing to do about it but to accept and move forward."

Umiling ako. "I was the reason why he was dead, Rake."

"You didn't kill him," Rake said. "And that's enough. Stop blaming yourself."

"B-but I felt like I did kill him." Napaatras ako sakanya. Bumabalik na naman ang alala ko sa nakaraan ko.

Though it was all blurry right now but I know I used James for the sake of money. And then, all of a sudden he was killed in a car accident. Rake knew that, pinuntahan niya ako para ipaghiganti ang anak niya. But he said, there was something about me that changed his mind.

Hinawakan ni Rake ang mukha ko. I felt guilty of the crime I didn't commit. "No, you don't. Wala kang kinalaman sa pagkamatay niya. James is an adult. He had his own mind how to decide what's best for his life." he brushed his thumb on my cheek. "Like father like son, just like me, I know, it's enough he met you." Rake kissed my lips, trying to let me forget all the pain in my past.

As much as I wanted the memory to disappear. At night, when I was sleeping I always dream about it. Halos lahat ng mga taong may kasalanan ako. Binabalikan ako sa panaginip ko.

He let go of lips and bit my lower lip. "Don't you think about that ever again, okay?" he whispered.

I couldn't agree... The thing about lost soul was, we always wait for the right person to come and save us. And when they finally arrive, we try to deny and isolate ourselves because we believe we didn't deserve it.

Then you'll see yourself standing in the middle of nowehere. Fighting your own demon. Fearing the unknown. Crying for the endless pain to end. Asking yourself why you are alone? Suddenly, with a blink of an eye you're lost, again.

I shook my head, vanishing my thoughts. "I-I just want to make sure that you know what you're doing," bulong ko.

He rested his head against my forehead. I wasn't really the soft hearted type of person. I was scared for a moment. Because I know it won't lasts. One day, this dream would turn into a nightmare.

"Trust me, I know what I'm getting myself into," he murmured.

Napatingin ako sa dagat. I remembered how my life as a kid living in the ocean. I was once carefree, selfless. There were no weight of the world on my shoulder. No deep wound carving my skin. No pain trying to consume me. It's just me playing, sitting and watching the sunset. Taking away my worries. As if, we were connected.

"May isusuot ka na ba na damit para mamaya?" basag ni Rake sa pag-iisip ko.

"Meron. Hindi ko naman kailangan magsuot na napakagandang damit, 'di ba?" I slightly raised my eyebrow.

He laughed at me. "Naninibago lang talaga ako. Ibang-iba ang Ericka n nasa harap ko ngayon. You really had changed."

"It took alot of practice to do this. Being an evil is easy than to be a good fake-ass person. Well, I guess, I'll just enjoy this persona for awhile."

I was wearing a cream white knee level dress. Punong-puno ng alahas ang katawan ko. I saw it in my room. I didn't know who owns it, isasauli ko rin naman. Para lang malagyan ng buhay ang damit ko.

The dress was my best choice of color. Well, this actually concealed who I really am. The three D's. Dark, dirty and dangerous.

Just when I arrived in the event. Ang dami nang tao sa function room. Almost all of the country's businessman were here, celebrating Rake's 15th years of success. Lahat ng natulungan niyang tao ay nandito. You see how good hearted Rake was? No matter how much he tried to hide it. Lalabas at lalabas ang pagiging mabuti niya.

"Tingnan mo talaga 'yan higad na 'yan. Hindi mapakali ang kamay sa ilalim ng hita ni Sir Alicante," pagmamaktol ni Gracia sa tabi ko. "Papayag ka ba sa ganyan? Kung ako, ikaw, lalaban talaga ako."

We were sitting one table away from Rake's table. Katabi nito ang ibang businessman at si Jessica, who was laughing and chatting like a usual bitch would do.

"It doesn't matter, Gracia. Let her as long as she still can."

Knowing that Rake and I would get married one of these days. May kalalagyan din si Jessica, she just had to wait.

"Kahit na, kung ako talaga ikaw, nako, naglagay na ako ng bakod."

I smiled at her. "If you are me, you won't like it. If you try to fit in my life, you'll go crazy."

Pinandilatan siya ni Gracia. "Baliw na naman ako. Hindi na kailangan." napakalumbaba ito. "Haynako! Ang daming gwapo ngayon, dapat may maharbat ako hindi pwedeng umuwi ako ng luhaan."

"Saan ka pupunta?" I asked when she stood up.

"Maghahanap ng mapapangasawa. Chance ko na ito."

I was left sitting here. I was drinking my champagne alone. Thinking the consequences of my mistake. Parang mas gusto ko nalang matulog ngayon. Biglang nakita ng mga mata ko si Laura. Hindi ko alam pero parang kusang lumakad ang paa ko papunta sa kanya.

"Laura," tawag ko sa kanya.

Nag-panic agad ang mga mata nito at napaatras ng makita ako. "E-ericka, hi."

"I didn't know you're really that part of his team." puna ko. I just wanted to make peace and friends. Oh shit. I know, niloloko ko ang sarili ko. It was more than that.

"Y-yeah," nabubulol padin na sagot nito at tumingin-tingin sa likod parang naghahanap ng tulong. "A-actually, gusto ko lang talaga pasalamatan si Rake sa lahat ng nagawa niya."

"What suddenly changed your mind?" I asked raising my champagne to my mouth. Napalunok si Laura dahil pinapanood ko siya habang umiinom ako. "Just be a honest with me. I won't bite," sabi ko sa kanya.

"Ang daming nangyari nang mawala ka, Ericka." pag-uumpisa niya. "I loved Rake before, I really do. But then, he was a shit and I couldn't be there for him. Nang malaman niya na nagsisinungaling ako dahil kay Rebecka. He almost killed me for that."

"Paano niya nalaman ang tungkol kay Rebecka?"

Napatigil si Laura. "You didn't tell him?"

"No, I don't. Limang taon kaming hindi nagkita ni Rake."

Natahimik si Laura at tila may iniisip na nangyari. "Well, baka isa sa mga kaaway ko ang nagsabi sa kanya. I'm glad though. Because I met the love of my life. Alam mo 'yon? Lahat ng sakit na naranasan ko kay Rake nawala dahil sa kanya. Cheesy man pakinggan, but love happened."

"I'm happy for you," sabi ko sa kanya. Napanganga si Laura sa sinabi ko. "I truly do. Pero si Jessica? I heard Rake help her? Paano kayo naging magkaibigan?"

Napalunok si Laura. Her body gesture told me that she was nervous.

"S-she's a highschool friend. H-hindi ko alam na napariwala siya dati. When we met again sa isa sa mga even ni Rake, nagulat din ako---"

"Then you became besties?"

I smell something fishy. There was something wrong with her words. Laura, was hiding something and I had to figure it out.

"Yes! BFF forever kasama si Becca, ayan na pala siya! Sige, Ericka mauna na ako!"

Tumakbo nang palayo si Laura mula sa akin. Napakunot lang ang noo ko. What was that? It was so obvious she was lying. Laura was still a terrible liar as always. Well, magagamit niya si Laura kahit papaano, they said to keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

"Making friends, Quinn? It suits the hell out of you." Napatalon ako bigla sa boses ni Rake sa gilid.

He was of course, gorgeous as ever. Wearing a tuxedo. Looking like a dominant as hell. Kahit na, he's like a ten years older than me. He had his own charisma. Kaya hinahabol-habol padin si Rake ng mga babae. Lumapit ako sa kanya at inayos ang kurbata niya.

"I told you a couple of times already, I'm a changed person."

He held my chin using his index thumb. "Saint Ericka, it's a pleasure to know you."

"Daddy Rake," pang-aasar ko sa kanya. "Kamusta ang gabi mo?"

"Boring. Dahil hindi pa kita nakakausap, Saint Ericka."

Tumawa ako at hinampas siya. "Which one do you like? The evil or the good one?"

"I like the evil one, she's proud and confident but really hard to please. But I prefer more the good one, she's genuine and kind. She knows her worth. She's lovely while standing infront of me looking beautiful as hell. Taking every last air of my lungs. " he then kissed me lightly as if we were not surrounded by many people.

"Stop flirting again, Rake Alicante! Nag-aral ka ba ulit para lang matutunan ang pakikipaglandian?"

Tumawa si Rake. "Ganito ako dati, Ericka. You stressed me out before. Kaya nakalimutan ko ang sarili ko."

He was kissing my shoulder. Nakikiliti ako. "Stop what you're doing, nakatingin sila. I don't want to get any attention," I told him. Sumimangot si  Rake. "Well, let me ask you something?"

"You already did. What's the second question?" he said, flashing me a crooked smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Stop flirting with me," suway ko ulit.

Sumeryoso ang mukha ni Rake pero naglalaro parin ang mata.

Huminga ako ng malalim. "W-what if, bumalik siya. 'Y-yong dating ako? Tatanggapin mo parin ba ako?"

Napakunot ng noo si Rake sa kanya. "Why do you need to ask that, Ericka? Kahit sino ka pa. Good or not. Past or present version, I'll accept it wholeheartedly."

Hinawakan ko siya sa magkabilang braso. I didn't say this out loud. I keep it to myself all the time. It took me five years to rebuild and construct what I am today now. I didn't want it to be my greatest downfall.

"But what if she's different? What if she's more evil?"

Sumeryoso ang mukha ni Rake pero maya-maya tumawa rin agad. "Then we have to do something about it. I'll tie you in bed so you won't get away."

"Rake!" pigil ko sa kanya at tumingin ako sa paligid namin. "Shh. I don't want to talk about that here."

"You like it there?" Lumapit siya sakin at tinuro ang restroom na malapit lang samin. "You remember it, don't you?" he asked.

"Oh." napatango ako. Bigla kong naalala ang ginawa namin dati. I was ridiculously being horny and we had to do it in five minutes.

"In Palawan." tumawa si Rake, his mind was somewhere as if going back there. "I moved and you counted. And we did that for five minutes."

I laughed too. "It was Sonya's fault. May pinainom siya kaya tayo nagkaganon. Anyway, how is she?"

Nalukot ang mukha ni Rake. "She's getting better. Ayaw ni mama na may bumibisita sa kanya. Knowing how stubborn she is. She'll get crazy mad if I didn't follow her."

"Ano bang nangyari sa kanya? May hindi ka pa sinasabi sa'kin." bigla hinatak ni Rake ang bewang ko at hinarap sa camera na biglang nag-flash sa harap namin.

I was galvanized the moment it sink in. They would post it in some tabloids. And online website.

Malaki ang tsansa na makita niya 'yon, I'm really dead kapag nangyari 'yon. Hahabulin ko sana ang photographer pero mabilis ako nahawakan ni Rake sa kamay.

He kissed me hard infront of everyone. Pilit ko siyang tinatulak pero mas hinawakan niya ng mahigpit ang mukha ko. There were lots of camera's flashing toward us.

"R-rake----"

Hi bit my lip and envaded my mouth using his tongue. I couldn't move. I'm stuck with him. Inipon ko ang lahat ng lakas ko para itulak siya. Ipinulupot ni Rake ang isa niyang kamay sa bewang ko.

I was left with no choice but to slapped him hard so he would stop. And so he did.

My face was fuming mad. Naninikip ang dibdib ko sa sobrang galit sa kanya. Nakatulala lang si Rake sa mukha ko. The camera was still flashing.

"I don't know what your game is but fuck you," I said and runaway.