Birthday time !!!! Not much left to say about this, just that things are gonna change after our baby's birthday ... ;)

I can't feel it twice ....

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"Louis Darling, it's good to see you" engulfed Anne him into a hug as soon as he had entered the kitchen hastily. "How are you, dear? Haven't seen you in a while".

"I'm good, Anne. I missed you though" relaxed Louis into the familiar touch.

"I missed you too, but now you're here" rubbed Anne over his back soothingly.

"We all are" grinned Louis up at her, hearing his sisters in the distance.

"You're all part of the family. Of course, I invite all of you over for Harry's birthday. Its tradition" smiled Anne happily at him.

"A tradition that I broke last year" hung Louis his head down in shame.

"I understand, Honey. It's okay. You needed that time alone. No one holds that against you, Louis" lifted Anne his chin up.

"Really?" nibbled Louis on his bottom lip.

"Really, Sweetheart. My son hurt you and you needed space. Everyone understood it, no matter how sad it was to not be there on your special day. I'm just glad you're on a good way now and we're all here today" assured Anne him.

"Me too".

"Here you are. One second you were right beside me and the next, you were gone. Could've guessed you'd be here with my mother. Making plans again?" walked Harry into the kitchen.

"Always, Darling" chuckled Anne when she walked pat him, leaving the two boys alone.

"What's that with you and my Mum? Are you up to something?" crossed Harry his arms over his chest in mock-offence.

"Always, Darling" imitated Louis Harry's mother with a wink.

"I prefer Haz" muttered Harry quietly under his breath and Louis could barely understand him.

"What was that?" checked Louis stunned.

"Nothing" cleared Harry his throat and now Louis was sure he had heard that right. "So, you're gonna tell me why you sneaked away to talk to my mother instead of being with the rest of us?".

"Too many people in a small room. You know I can't handle that pretty well. And um ... I wanted you to have your moment. It's your birthday, Harry" explained Louis himself honestly.

"But I want you there with me when I have my moment. Not my moment without you" admitted Harry surprisingly.

Louis just blinked at him bewildered and his brain couldn't quite register what he had just heard. "Don't think Josh would appreciate that ... Um ... I mean, he's there with you. That's enough. I'm close by on the side. Always there".

"But overlooked and unnoticed. I want you right next to me. Like always, Lou" walked Harry closer to him, shocking Louis completely. Harry was different today. "Oh, and Josh isn't here".

"Why? He's your boyfriend, slash soulmate. Shouldn't he be here?" frowned Louis in confusion.

"I mean, he was here in the morning but he had to leave. Family emergency. Can't change that. It's no big deal. I have you here with me" let Harry him know neutrally. What kind of an emergency was more important than your boyfriend's birthday? That had to be something serious.

"And I won't leave" replied Louis before he could stop himself, causing Harry to look weirdly at him. "Didn't have cake yet and you still haven't seen my present for you".

"You didn't need to get my anything because ...".

"My presence is simply enough, I guess?" cut Louis him off playfully, Harry nodding with red cheeks. "As cute as that is I still have something for you".

Louis handed Harry his present and watched him opening it. He was freaking nervous that this would end in a mess now. His present was very emotional and maybe it was the wrong time. Too soon. But he couldn't help himself. He wanted Harry to have it today and not next year or whenever.

"Lou, I ... I don't have words for this" gasped Harry at the photo album in his hands and there was the nickname again, that made Louis feel some kind of way.

"In a good or a bad way?" tried Louis to cover up his nerves.

Harry didn't answer him, which made Louis' nervousness only worse. Anxiously, he watched how Harry opened the album and started looking through it. The album was full of their pictures together. Right from the start until the end. Well, the last picture they had together. It rounded up their whole school time. Every memory they had captured.

When Harry reached their high school time Louis could see tears forming in his eyes, so he hurried to Harry's side. They sat down at the tiny table in the corner of the kitchen close by the door and looked through the rest of the photos together. Louis felt very sentimental seeing their happy faces. Making this had ended in a tearful mess on his bedroom floor and those tears threatened to come back right now. They would mix perfectly with Harry's silent tears.

The last page caused a broken sob from Harry and Louis started to draw little soothing circles on his back, knowing this would hit him hard. It was difficult to make it but Louis couldn't ignore their graduation completely. Because they didn't have a picture together Louis had glued in both of their separate pictures next to each other, kind of forming one whole photo but still being broken apart. It hurt but it just showed the truth. They were still glueing the pieces back together of their friendship.

"Louis, this is ... I can't ... it's beautiful. When did you .... how did you .... why ...?" came only broken words out of Harry between his crying.

"I wanted you to have all of our memories collected together, so you can look back whenever you want. I had all of our pictures in a box under my bed anyway. I just took them out and searched for the best ones. Your mum gave me the last one for Christmas. Sorry if that was too much, Haz" explained Louis his intentions, the nickname falling from his lips easily without actually noticing it.

But Harry's head snapped up at that and he fell into Louis' arms, which was a bit difficult with sitting on two chairs next to each other. Automatically, Louis' arms wrapped around Harry's body and he pulled him closely into his chest. They stayed like this for a while, just breathing each other in, and Louis felt absolutely at ease. His heart was warm and he knew it was because he was with his best friend.

"Thank you for this special and meaningful present, Lou. This means the world to me. You mean the world to me and now I can always see you even if you're not there" thanked Harry him, tears still streaming down his face.

"You can see me any time without that album, Haz. I'm just one call away and if I can't pick up I'm always right there, Pup" pointed Louis at Harry's heart, wiping away the tears. Harry just stared wordlessly at him and Louis couldn't place the emotion. "What is it, Haz?".

"You called me pup. You haven't done that in forever" formed a huge smile on Harry's face.

"Because that's what you are. You're my pup, Haz. Always was and always will be, no matter what. Nothing could change that" admitted Louis not only to Harry but also to himself. He hadn't noticed that he had said it or had called Harry Haz so many times but it felt right. He could do this again without feeling sad and broken every time.

"We should head back to the others. They probably think I murdered you or something" joked Louis when Harry didn't say anything. This tension was new.

Before Louis could leave the room, Harry hugged him closely again like he never wanted to let him go ever again. Feeling a bit dizzy, Louis followed Harry out of the kitchen and almost bumped into his friends. Literally all of them were standing in the hallway doing nothing. Had they actually eavesdropped onto their conversation? Right now, Louis didn't care. He was feeling light-headed.

Together with Harry's and Louis' family, all of them sat down at the living room table to eat Harry's birthday cake. All of them included Niall, Sean, Liam, Zayn, Àmber, Aria, Bailey, Liron, Gemma, Louis' mother Johanna, his four sisters Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe and Daisy and Anne, of course. They chatted enthusiastically and had a lot of fun and after two hours with all of them together, the family members announced that they would leave now. Probably going over to Louis' family home and spent some time there.

"How do you feel about some karaoke?" asked Niall all of them excitedly.

Everyone agreed and like this, they found themselves in front of the big TV with karaoke microphones in their hands, singing their hearts out while being at least tipsy.

"C'mon, Zouis. Sing that one for us, please" pleaded Niall obviously drunk. "Liam is knackered and shouldn't sing anymore".

"And I need a break" threw Bailey in and Àmber, Liron and Aria agreed with her.

"Fine but not without Harry" set Louis one condition, making his friends look questioningly at him. "It's literally one of his favourite songs from his favourite band and it's his birthday".

"Okay, then Zayn, Louis and Harry".

"And you, Niall" dragged Zayn him off the couch, making him stand next to him.

"Yay, best friend group song" cheered Liam drunkenly.

"Shut up" laughed all four of them before readying themselves to sing the hell out of Cuatro Hearts' song Why.

"Hiding in the shadows, I kiss your nose and call you a beautiful rose. In the daylight we can't be very close, cause of the fear of being exposed. For you I pretend to be fine but all I wanna do is tell the world that you're mine. If I let my feelings show I'd have to let you go because it's too dangerous. Why does everybody care? This is so unfair" started Harry to sing the first verse emotionally.

"Why can't you understand that I long to simply hold their hand? Your spying eyes force me to come up with even more lies although I just wanna walk together into the sunrise cause they feel likewise. But what is the prize?" was Niall next in line. This song always got to Louis. It was very sad but even more true.

"Why can't you leave me alone? Why can't I love on my own? Why is there a difference between you and me? Can't you just let me be? Let me enjoy my time in a cute little restaurant and let me love who I want. Why can't you see that love is genderless? Why can't you see that love is love?" chorused the four boys and Louis really wanted some answers to those questions.

"Do you know how much you hurt us with your ignorance because you judge us for our preference although all we need is your acceptance? All we need to hear is that it makes no difference. But all you do is tear us down and say you wanna see us drown. You wanna see us burn (in hell). And deny the chance to learn that nothing is wrong with me and I was born this way. All I really wanna be is free" sang Zayn the third verse and Louis could definitely hear his voice shaking from time to time.

They sang the chorus again before it was Louis' part to sing the bridge. " It seems hopeless to try because of all the consequences. It seems useless to cry because they judge our kind of romances. I still don't wanna give you up cause you leave me breathless. I hope it's enough cause you leave me defenceless. And I won't survive a break-up cause without you I'm reckless, Baby".

And Louis didn't mean to do it. Really. But he couldn't help himself from staring at Harry when he sang those words. Stare at his beautiful face, those mesmerizing forest green confused eyes. He almost fucked up completely when he was about to change Baby into something Harry-related but he could stop it and break his staring just in time to save what was left to save. What was wrong with him today?

Why can't you leave me alone?

Why can't I love on my own?

Why is there a difference between you and me?

Can't you just let me be?

Let me enjoy my time in a cute little restaurant

And let me love who I want

Why can't you see that love is genderless?

Why can't you see that love is love?

"Guys, this was amazing. God damn it, what a show. I got chills" whistled Liam impressed when they were done.

"No big surprise with that song, Lima Bean" replied Louis tensely but tried to cover it up.

"But there were other surprises, Tommo" shot Liam back.

"Other things sounds good. How about a game?" clapped Àmber into her hands, sending Louis a certain look and he was just glad she stopped Liam from being an idiot.

Originally, they had planned on playing Truth or Dare mixed with Never Have I Ever but it had ended in them just asking each other questions they had to answer or otherwise they needed to take a shot. By now, Liam and Niall should be in an alcohol coma. Àmber, Aria and Bailey were tipsy while Liron was surprisingly sober. The rest of them were on the verge of being drunk and Louis wasn't sure if he was liking this. He was way too honest when he was drunk.

"How many people have you kissed?" asked Sean Liron when they were playing for what felt like an eternity.

"Let me think. Um ... Four, I guess if I'm not forgetting about someone" scratched Liron his head while thinking.

"Me too, LiLi" gave Louis him a high-five.

"Then while we're at it, who is the best kisser in the room, Tommo? Take a wild guess" grinned Liron at him.

"No guessing needed. It's Zayn" giggled Louis light-headedly.

"I feel honoured, Tommy. I can only give that compliment back. Best kiss of my life" laughed Zayn jokingly.

"Muah" blew Louis him a kiss dramatically. "Would you go out with me then if I was the last person on earth?".

"Yes, but not only then. Way before that would be the case, Tommy. Who would not want to go out with you? Look at you" slapped Zayn Louis' bum lightly when he noticed Louis' forced laugh at his last question, knowing there was obviously someone who wouldn't.

"The topic is bombastic. Harry, describe your perfect partner" jumped Niall onto this opportunity.

"He should be funny, nice, caring, gentle, sassy, supportive, passionate. Well, simply ...". looked Harry dreamily into the distance while listing all of his wanted attributes.

"You" whispered Zayn into Louis' ear. "Simply you".

"Shut up, Zayn" huffed Louis way too loudly, earning confused looks from his friends. "He was talking drunken nonsense but I wanted to listen to my little Haz describing Josh. Thanks for ruining that, Zayn".

"Was my pleasure" bowed Zayn mockingly. "Moving on".

"Um yeah ... Sean, do you think Bailey is cute?" asked Harry the next question but he seemed unfocused.

Sean turned crimson at that question. "Um ... yes. Group question. Never have I ever kissed someone in the room".

Apart from Bailey, Liron and Liam everyone took a shot. Mostly that wasn't surprising because everyone knew that but that Niall had taken a shot left everyone speechless. Who in this room did he kiss?

"Wanna let us in on this, Nialler?" asked Aria befuddled.

"I was a lonely boy, being heartbroken and drunk out of my mind and Zayn was there for me. What can I say ? I crossed the line but he stopped me from going too far" reported Niall curtly, obviously uncomfortable. "Àmber, did you ever walk in on your parents?".

"Oh god, yeah, I did" shuddered Àmber traumatised.

"Tell us".

While Àmber was telling the rest of them about this horrible moment Zayn and Niall both tried to avoid certain eyes on them but Louis only grabbed for Zayn's arm and dragged him down onto the floor with him. Funnily enough, Harry did the same with Niall and they ended up in a circle on the floor, all four.

"Why did you never tell me about this?" asked Louis and Harry at the same time, ignoring how in sync they were.

"It wasn't important at first" mumbled Niall uneasy.

"Yeah, just a drunken kiss" agreed Zayn with him.

"What do you mean with at first? Is it important now?" wanted Louis to know in wonderment.

"For me, yeah. Thanks to Zayn I know now that I'm really bi or pan or whatever. Just into boys as well. I mean, I always said I am but I obviously never did anything with a boy before because I had Maya and I loved her. I couldn't know for sure if I could like it but now I know" explained Niall what he meant.

"Wait, are you saying you two had sex?" gaped Harry shell-shocked at them.

"Maybe. But not on that day. Another day. I literally asked him. I can't explain it" cleared Niall the air.

"Are you two dating or something?" stared Harry at his friends.

"No, we're not. We're friends. We're not into each other but I also don't regret it because it helped me a lot. Never thought I could enjoy bottoming" clarified Niall and it ended in him laughing at his own words.

"You topped?! Javy, what the hell?!" gasped Louis at his best friend in pure shock.

"Thanks for making me feel like the world's most obvious bottom, Tommy. You know people can switch, right?" glared Zayn playfully at him but Louis felt like he shouldn't test him right now. Zayn knew too much.

"How was is it, Mister Switch?" asked Louis instead to play it safe.

"Strange but good, I guess" answered Zayn unsurely.

"I liked it pretty much. Was nice to be on the other side. Who would have thought that?" grinned Niall nastily.

"Ew, Nialler" grimaced Harry teasingly.

"Sometimes the need to be the bottom comes out of nowhere, don't you think Tommy?" threw Zayn him a challenging look.

"I swear, shut up or I'm gonna hit you" threatened Louis him but he knew Niall and Harry weren't deaf.

"Our Top King bottomed?" hung Niall's mouth wide open. Harry just looked emotionlessly at him.

"No, never. Zayn is just being way too drunk for his own good. Stop talking bullshit" lied Louis. Not everyone needed to know about this.

"But Tommy, I wanna ...".

"Guys, come back into the game. Zayn, do you have a secret crush at the moment?" called Sean over to them, trying to get them back into the game but they stayed in that little circle on the floor, facing their friends now.

"Not drunk enough for this" grabbed Zayn for a shot on the table. Louis knew Zayn had a crush but he didn't know who.

"Uhhh" cooed Bailey exaggeratedly.

"Prettiest eyes in the room, Lima Bean" shifted Zayn the conversation away from him.

Louis was glad he didn't get that question. He couldn't answer it honestly without fearing to make things weird. No matter if he still liked him or not, Harry still had the most beautiful eyes on this earth.

"You, Zayn" answered Liam simply, being way too intoxicated to function. Zayn blushed at that. "Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner, Hazza?".

"No" said Harry simply and that shouldn't surprise anyone. "Who would do that? It's horrible".

"Very true. There's never a good excuse for it. If you do it once you're gonna do it again" agreed Àmber with him.

"That was some deep shit" whistled Liam drunkenly.

"He needs some water. Anyway, Would you break up with your girlfriend for 1 million?" addressed Harry now Aria.

"No, never" stared Aria fondly at a blushing Àmber.

"Of course" snorted Niall but had a smile on his face.

"Louis, what's your biggest fear?" asked Aria him carelessly.

Louis stiffened at the question and looked down at his socks. He fiddled with his bracelet and decided to just say it even though it was embarrassing and there was something he was even more afraid of but he would never say that out loud because it would make him look like he was the most pathetic person in the world.

"Thunderstorms" mumbled Louis softly, feeling Harry's hand on his back comfortingly. He was the only one who knew that. Not even Zayn did.

"I'm afraid of heights. Everyone has something" rushed Harry out before anyone could even think about reacting to Louis' confession.

"True. I hate the darkness" let Àmber them know.

"And I run away when I see a clown" admitted Aria meekly.

"Better than being afraid of water" threw Zayn in hesitantly.

Everything's better than being afraid of ending up all alone without anyone in my life. To be simply unlovable and unworthy of love because I'm not good enough and never the first choice. Forever replaceable.

"You're okay?" checked Harry quietly.

"Yeah, I'm good" faked Louis a smile, being far gone in his own depressing thoughts.

That's why he didn't hear the next few questions of his friends. Distantly, he heard some laughter and clinking glasses but Louis kept staring at his socks. He felt like he wasn't really there, just his body. He was brought back when he heard Liam's next drunken question addressed to him.

"If you could have anyone in the world as your boyfriend, who would you pick?".

Out of instinct like it was second nature, his gaze wandered over to Harry next to him, who was intensively waiting for his answer. Those eyes were sparkling so bright today that Louis thought he could see stars in them. Ignoring those stars, Louis grabbed for a shot glass on the table.

"Not gonna answer that" was Louis about to take his shot when he remembered something. He really was the worst person to ever exist. "Wait, no. I'm gonna pick Luke. My perfect boyfriend. Best person in the world".

"I was about to ask about him. Good safe, Tommo" laughed Niall smashed.

Louis forced out a laugh as well but could feel Zayn's burning eyes on him just as Harry's curious eyes next to him. That was the moment he decided to get even more smashed and blame it all on the alcohol in the morning. He was over this game and over this year already. Someone please come and pick him up. Preferably, Luke.

Drink after drink was downed together with Niall, Liam and the girls until Louis couldn't walk in a straight line anymore and his vision was blurry. He giggled at everything and felt like he was on top of the world. Now he knew why Niall and Liam got drunk so often. Maybe he should do this too from now on. Could be a better idea than offering his hole to Luke just to make his own demons shut up. But who was he to know that right now when he thought to see bunnies jumping around the room?

"Let's call it a night, Lads and Ladies" clapped Sean into his hands late in the night.

All of them made their way upstairs into the guest rooms. Everything was already ready for them. When Louis was about to follow Zayn into his room without crashing down to the floor, he felt a hand on his wrist. He let himself be led into a different room and found himself back in Harry's bedroom. The hand dragged him over to Harry's bed and then turned him around. Harry was studying his face closely before helping Louis lie down on the bed. This caring made Louis smile dopey to himself. Someone cared.

Harry joined him in bed and let Louis snuggle up to him when Louis was seeking body contact because he was freezing. Louis was wondering why Harry didn't say anything or didn't complain but his brain didn't let him think much about it. He was too smashed for one single clear thought right now. With Harry's arms around him, Louis was out like a light pretty quick but he never felt better and more secure. In his dreams, he had the feeling everything could actually turn out to be good in the end, just to wake up to a cold and empty bed without Harry in the morning. Telling himself everything was good, he went down only to get told Harry was out on a belated birthday date with Josh and just left his friends without saying a word.  

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An interesting birthday, huh guys? Why were they acting like this and were you shocked about Ziall?

(Originally, I thought I had read in my notes for this book version that the characters Zayn and Niall are in my book are supposed to end up together ... but then I saw this was a different story and none of them is supposed to have a relationship in the end but I already hinted at Zayn having a crush. So, now i have to improvise).