Author's Note: This chapter took me forever to update because I wanted this to be perfect. But as I was writing, it ended up longer than planned. Like it reached 4k+ words lool. So I had to split this spin-off into two parts and edit all over again. I hope you understand my struggle. *criessss*

Please do check out the picture on the media. That is an amazing Kenly fanart made by an amazing artist, @AlexCasthiel. I love you, sis. Thanks a lot for this! ♥

And to everyone, thank you so much for everything. Especially for your patience and support :)

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Spin-off: Because I Love You (His Side)

In Hell.

That was where Kise Ryouta found himself after his conversation with Ken last night---before she blocked him.

He had been replaying everything that happened in his head, again and again and again, almost involuntarily, until the sadness and regret he was feeling took all his strength to even stand on his feet again.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, he thought.

All things considered, he should be perfectly happy by now. His work as a model was going well, basketball was so much fun, and there had been no problems with his studies either. Everything sure was fine the way they were.

Basketball, work, school, more basketball---nothing else mattered to him before. He was happy and content and he's got everything he needed in his hands.

Until fifty-eight days ago,

She came and made him realize that life was so much better by her side.

He'd give up everything for her.

Anything for Ken's embrace.

***

The sudden knocks on his door rang on his ears, like a nonsensical reminder of the world outside his room---of the worried people waiting for him to come out.

But he didn't care.

"Ryouta," Rica called from the other side of the door. She sounded so worried and rather impatient. "Open up."

Not even bothering to move a single muscle, he replied in a low, lifeless voice, "Leave me alone."

"You've been eating nothing since yesterday for pete's sake! We are worried sick... My god, Ryouta! Don't do this to us," she pleaded as she struggled to contain her emotions. Her brother had always been the happy-go-lucky type of guy---like one sunny day in a human package. Bubbly, generous, and kind. And so times like this where he gets very depressed over something would always worry the family to no end.

But despite knowing his family's suffering, Kise remained unresponding.

"Ryouta, please..."

"Kise," interrupted another voice, it was rough and loud, which Kise didn't fail to recognize. "Open up or I will tear this damn door to pieces!"

He bolted upright, turning to the direction of the door with wide eyes.

Was that...?

"I need to talk to you," Kasamatsu Yukio added, his voice a little softer this time, "Let's talk. Just the two of us."

"Senpai."

Kise struggled to make sense of the situation. Considering everything that happened, Kasamatsu's voice was the last thing he'd expected to hear outside his bedroom door. It was close to impossible. However, knowing that any attempt to shoo his upperclassman away would be meaningless, he unlocked the door and finally let them see how pathetic he looked like.

Rica immediately surveyed her younger brother, clenching her fists upon seeing how miserable he was. He looked awful, and it was really hard for her to look at him in that state. Even if he wouldn't say anything, she pretty much had an idea what and why this was happening.

"I'll leave him to you then," she told Kasamatsu, trying her hardest not to lose control and throw Kise out of the window just to snap him out of his foolishness. Trying to isolate himself from the world was only an act of foolishness. She knew Kise could do so much better than that.

Kasamatsu nodded his head in response then stepped inside as Kise closed the door without sparing his worried sister a single word, too ashamed of himself to even look at her in the eyes.

"What brings you here?"

"I'm sorry for punching you the other day," the raven started, giving him a sincere look, then added, "Even though you deserved it."

He only gave an ironic smile. "It was nothing. Like all the other hits you gave me before, it didn't hurt one bit."

Kasamatsu grinned, tilting his head to the side. "Stop insulting my punches. I'll hit you."

Upon finding the threat funny this time, he hadn't been able to stop himself from releasing a small chuckle. Then he sat on his bed, examining his guest whom he just noticed wearing a neatly pressed, black suit. "Why are you here?"

But his question seemed to have knocked off the levity in the atmosphere because the look on Kasamatsu's face changed. "Shinomiya-san's burial was today. Two hours ago."

He stiffened up, unable to utter one word for a moment. When he finally recovered, he averted his gaze, balling his fists. "How is she?"

"She's staying strong."

Kise clenched his teeth together. It was killing him from the insides to know that Ken was suffering and yet he couldn't even do something to ease up her pain. This was pure torture to his sanity---which was why he chose to isolate himself because he felt like he'd snap and go crazy any minute.

"You know," Kasamatsu continued, snapping him out of his thoughts, "She asked me to check you up that's why I'm here. She's worried, too."

His eyes grew wide in surprise, not quite expecting it. "W-What?"

"She's leaving for New York tomorrow morning, Kise. She won't be here for graduation or for anything anymore."

Horrified, Kise sucked into his breath. "What are you talking about?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but I think you should know," Kasamatsu explained seriously, his voice was steady and to the point, "With Shinomiya-san gone, it won't be easy for Eah and Karylle-san to face life on their own. So Harry, their brother, is taking them to New York with him."

He couldn't utter a word as he remained gaping at his senpai. The sudden news left him completely senseless. It sounded like a joke. A very sick joke.

Ken was leaving, and he'd never see her again. Ever.

"No," he uttered in a low whisper, struggling to keep his breathing normal through the tightening of his chest. It was like his entire body fell numb and all that was left for him to do was cry and be miserable for the rest of his life.

"GODDAMMIT, KISE!" Kasamatsu practically roared in a furious voice, crossing the distance between them. He forcefully grabbed him by the collar, shaking him as if it could help him get back to his senses. "Is this all your feelings for her has to offer?! Are you just going to sit here and cry?!"

Kise remained motionless as he contemplated everything that he just heard. His eyes grew wide, however, when he saw that his senpai's pair of cobalt blue eyes were also moist with tears. He thought the raven would look at least murderous because of the amount of anger that laced his voice, but he was completely wrong. Kasamatsu Yukio looked worried. Very worried.

"S-Senpai..."

"I gave her up for you, Kise. Because I want you both to be happy," he told him, more calmly this time, loosening his grip and blinking away the tears in his eyes, "The least you can do for me is make that happen."

Dumbfounded, Kise wasn't able to say a word for a moment. Realization dawned on him, hitting him hard like a speeding vehicle. He knew he couldn't undo the past, but he couldn't just stay this way and be miserable every passing second of his life without her. Even if it was impossible, even if it would be meaningless, even if she'd say it was over---he'd stand up again and fight for her. Over and over again.

After another few more seconds of silence, he finally removed Kasamatsu's hands from his collar then wiped his own tears away, letting out a small yet determined smile after. "Thank you, senpai."

"Be a man and make sure to have no regrets."

Regrets---they come after every wrong decision. But right now, Kise didn't care anymore. He'd give up anything and everything for her.

He'd trade even the whole world just to be with her...

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IMPORTANT NOTE: I'll update the last part of this spin-off soon. It's actually the last chapter before we begin the Countdown To #ShiKi's Forever ;) I've prepared a few more exciting chapters for you, guys. And hopefully by the end of the year, I'll get to finish this lame book. lool

And I just wanna say thank you to the artists who took their time to draw Ken and Kise. You guys are the best! :)

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