~The Ride Back Home~

Manik

I stand still, affixed to my spot, as I feel her stare on me.

I know she's watching.

Analysing.

Wondering.

Running that smart brain of her, trying to figure.

But I can't meet her eyes.

There are questions in them to which I have no answers.

Answers that she deserves.

I roam my eyes in all directions but hers and when she looks away from me, I breathe out the breath I was holding for quite sometime.

Hoping for her to say something, I stand still but, she doesn't.

She turns back and walks straight to the door and in another second, she is gone.

"How do you know her?" Rhea shoots.

"I don't, actually." Sam says, clearly annoyed again.

"Didn't seem like it."

"It's none of your business Rhea." He says, trying to suppress his emotions, hiding behind the veil of anger.

I take that moment to sneak back into the locker room, without making any noise.

"Sa-"

"Listen, Rhea," he interrupts, "I need some time."

"But you'll consider us, right?" She asks.

"I'll.. I'll think about it." He says. "But please, until then, leave me be."

"You will?" Rhea seems hopeful about his words. But I know he isn't going to re-think upon this in a direction that would mend this broken relationship.

The only reason that I gave Rhea this chance was because I had promised her that I'd help just one time.

"I will. This can take longer than you think-"

"Take whatever time you want! I don't care as long as you reconsider this." There's a clear hint of happiness in her tone.

"Okay."

"I'll call you then?" Rhea asks, sounding way too hopeful way too soon.

"No. I'll call you when I've thought this out, Rhea." Sam says plainly.

"Oh."

"Yeah, and I think it's getting pretty late, you should go now."

"Um.. yeah. I should go." Rhea replies and I hear her footsteps walking away until they just fade.

"Are you coming or should I lock you in here?" Sam says after a minute of absolute silence.

For once my heart skips a beat, for I had thought he too left but his sudden announcement took me by surprise.

"I know you're there, Manik. Just come out already."

This- I take as my cue to walk out in front of him.

And damn he looks mad.

He looks so damn mad like he could burn me alive.

"Sup?" I press my lips together.

"You and I are done." He growls, standing a few steps away from me and then turns his back at me as he storms outside the court.

"Shit." I curse and follow him outside, "Dude listen to me!"

But instead, "Lock that damn door, Manik!" He shouts and keeps continuing down the hallway.

As the captain of the college basketball team, I always had a spare keys of the court with me and so did Sam, being the vice-captain, of course. I turn back around and jog upto the court, take the keys out from my pockets and lock the door.

Having done that, I make my way outside the building, hoping to still catch Sam in time because I really have to talk to him and clear the air before things get worse.

I know I did something I shouldn't have but it felt only fair to give Rhea a chance to explain her part of the story because Sam never gave her that.

As I step outside the gates of the college, I do find Sam standing at a distance. His back facing me, but as I begin to get closer to him I see that he's not the only one standing there and that's when I stop walking.

Because I see her.

Smiling a little, with her eyes moving from the ground beneath, to him. The cool wind blowing against her skin. Her hair brushing against her face, inviting the frown lines on her forehead but with a smile still settled on her lips.

This view does wonders for me.

Something inside me finds peace in that smile of hers. But at the same time, my heart twists.

A very familiar ache runs through my body, settling in my heart, suppressing the euphoria.

Seeing her in front of me- smiling, makes me ecstatic, but it also hurts.

It hurts because I know I can't have her. It hurts because I know the reason behind the smile isn't me, but the reason behind that pain underneath that smile is in fact, me.

I used to think letting her go was the hardest thing I ever did, but that was when she wasn't even around. And now that she is back, I feel like I am right where I was in the beginning.

Like I will have to start all over again.

Like I will have to go through the same misery again.

But it's going to be harder now than it was then because now, I can't contain my feelings for her anymore. I can't let her go when she is right in front of my eyes once again. And I'm afraid one of these days she'll see that too and once she does, all her doubts will be cleared and she will never back down.

The more I try to keep my distance, the more I get pulled towards her. The more I try to make her hate me, the more reasons she finds to not.

Even though I've tried to break her down, I know it's still not enough because everytime I look at her, I know that she's still holding on to me. And all of this is when she still doubts. What will happen when her doubts get a confirmation? How will I ever be able to stay away from her then?

One look into her eyes gives me the insight of her heart.

And everytime I do that I see hope and I also see pain and seeing that, I don't want to hold back.

I don't want to let her go.

Instead, I want to hold her so tight until I feel her heart beating against mine.

But I can't.

She deserves better.

She deserves the best.

And I'm not the best. I'm the worst.

I zoom back into the reality as the realisation hits me.

Sam is still talking to Nandini about something I can't hear from this far but she's still smiling.

She's still smiling.

She's still smiling.

And I'm not the reason behind it.

I want to be. But I'm not. And I can't.

A pang of jealously hits my heart and runs through my my blood for about a moment until I realise that it's completely uncalled for.

It's also selfish of me to feel that way when I clearly refuse to let her back into my life. Even if I'm doing it for her, I still am hurting her in the process and if someone else, be it my best friend or whosoever, makes her smile, then I shouldn't feel whatever I am feeling.

I shake the thought of this out of my brain and gather myself once again.

I continue to approach the both of them.

The smile on Nandini's face fades just as her eyes land on me. I stand close enough to see the smile from her lips and her eyes turn into pain.

Just then Sam turns around to face me and the smile that was on his face, too wears off.

I look back and forth between the two of them.

Two most important people in my life and both of them reflect disappointment.

Awkwardness settles in the air around us.

I put one hand in my pocket, and clear my throat, "Do you want a ride back home?" I ask, looking at the both of them, not knowing myself whom did I address to with this question.

"Considering I came with you this morning, I do." Sam speaks but I know that tone.

He's mad.

But suddenly, he's not.

He meets my eyes and suddenly the look in them doesn't quite seem like the one he would have if he was mad. It's the one that's there when he is thinking and when he likes what he is thinking.

I look at him in utter confusion as the straight line that his lips were aligned in turns into a grin and he turns back to face Nandini.

"Hey, do you want a ride back home?" He asks her.

Her eyes shoot up to me from him.

It's like she's searching for a confirmation of his words in my eyes.

"I.. I don't think so." She says after a minute of evaluation of my face.

Was I too good at hiding it all again?

"Oh, c'mon!" Sam says, "You live right next door to him, we can drop you." He turns back to me once again and grits, "We can, right?"

I frown hard and pull him away from her, "What are you doing?" I whisper.

"If you want me to be cool with what you did back there, then just go with this." He whispers back.

"Dude-"

"Just go with it." He scowls.

"Um.. I think I'll call a cab or something.." Nandini says, noticing us talking like that.

"Your phone has no battery."

She looks up at me, surprised that those words came out from my mouth.

I don't even know why I say that.

I don't want her to come with him.

I want her to stay away because that's the only way I can keep her safe.

"I... Well then, I'll take a bus or an auto."

"There aren't any direct buses to our place." I reply.

Damn it. Shut up already!

"Then I'll figure." She stares right back at me, not confused or surprised but annoyed.

"I'll drop you."

"I'll manage, thank you."

"It's probably going to rain."

We all look up at the sky turning darker because of the clouds taking over the evening sky.

"It won't.. I'll call my friends from-"

"From? From where? A switched off phone?" I argue.

"Then give me yours."

"I won't."

"Then Sam will!" She looks at Sam expectantly but before he can answer, I do.

"He won't."

"You can't speak for him."

"I actually can."

"Cannot!"

"Can do! Besides do you even remember the numbers of your 'friends'? Huh?"

"I.. I don't."

"Ha!"

"Either of you might have it."

"You think?"

"I'll... I'll figure it out. I'll find my way on my own."

"I don't think you can."

"I too used to live here!"

"Yeah. Five years ago! It's a whole new place now."

"I said I will figure!"

I move aside Sam, who was standing in between us, watching us communicate, and stand right in front of an annoyed Nandini.

"And I said I will drop you!"

"I don't need you."

"You do, actually."

"I don't!"

"You do! Because like always, I know you'll end up into some kind of a trouble like you did just sometime back."

She narrows her eyes and her jaw drops, "That was once."

I scoff, "Once in what? Four hours?"

"What do you know?!"

"Don't even get me started, Nandini."

"No-"

"Stop this!! Both of you!" Sam inserts himself between the two of us and pushes us behind, "Damn, if only I knew you guys did this. You're worse that kids!" He shouts.

"Tell her that." I scowl and turn away.

"And what were you doing?" He asks.

"Trying to take her back home safely?" I glare at her.

"Since when do you care about that anyway?" She meets my glare and something about what she says pinches.

"God, it's going to be harder than I thought." Sam mumbles.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Nothing! Go get the damn car." He turns back around and faces Nandini, "And Nandini, it's better to trust the ones you know than to wander in a place with so many unknown faces. It's really not safe."

"I don't think I know him either."

"And I don't know you either!"

"Manik, GO!" Sam scowls at me and I start to walk backwards but not before I give Nandini a fuming glance.

A few minutes later I return back with my car to where I left them both.

From the looks of it, it seems like Sam had been successful in convincing Nandini because she looked somewhat not annoyed or angry anymore.

Sam gets the door to my left and slides in besides me while Nandini sits in the back and I drive away.

For the first ten minute there is nothing but silence surrounding us. No one touched the stereo, surprisingly because Sam can never go without switching from one channel to another.

I give occasional glances to Nandini from my rear view mirror and find her enjoying the cool breeze that hits her face as she leans towards the window.

The sky above makes growling noises, announcing the arrival of rain anytime soon. The 5' o clock sky isn't as dull normally as it is at this moment.

"I need to charge my phone." Nandini breaks into the silence.

Without a word, I hold up the charging cable on my left.

She takes a hint and settles herself in the middle as she plugs her phone into the cable. Having done that she moves back towards the seat behind me, leaning at the door like she always used to.

"Don't lean at the door, snow." I say not realising for a second that I used the nickname I had for her.

"I mean-"

"Snow?" Sam interrupts. "You call her snow?"

"That's-"

"Called." That one syllable from her, stops me from continuing further. "He called me that when we were.. friends."

Nandini moves away from the door and again settles herself in the middle, reaching for her phone and switching it on.

"This cord is too small." She says.

"Do you want to strangle someone with it? Because other than that, I think it will charge the same way."

"Might as well strangle you." She mutters.

"You can try." I glare at her through the mirror and find her giving me the same look.

"Okay. Why do you need a longer cord?" Sam intervenes before we indulge into another quarrel.

"I need to make a call."

"You can do that with a shorter cord as well, just so you know." I say and in return I receive a sharp piercing look from her.

Only if looks could kill.

Ignoring my comment she continues to talk to Sam, "I can't bring it upto my ear and I can't also disconnect it because there's hardly any battery."

"So use the speaker."

"I guess." She shrugs.

A moment later she calls someone who turns out to be Navya, of course.

"Nandini?" Navya speaks, "Where are you?"

"Hey, Navya.. I'm on my way."

"Oh okay.. I was wondering why you didn't come back yet."

For being Navya, she sounded rather calm.

"It's a long story.. I'll explain when I get back home."

"Okay. Good.."

"Are you okay?" Nandini asks.

"I.. I am. Why?"

"You sound so calm.. why aren't you bursting out like you do?"

"I'm fine... Totally."

"Navya, do you want orange or-" A voice so familiar stops halfway.

I look towards my left and find Sam looking right back at me with the same knowing look.

"Who was that?" Nandini asks, confused.

"No one!"

"I just heard a guy Navya.. who was it?"

"A friend."

I scoff and that earns me a frown from Nandini.

"Okay.."

"Listen Nandini, I gotta go.. I'll talk to you when you're back." Navya rushes her words and disconnects the phone.

I glance at Nandini, who wears a complete confused look.

A moment later she speaks, "Why did you do that?"

I look at her from the mirror for about a millisecond, "Do what?"

"That scoff thing.."

"I didn't." I lie.

"I heard and saw you." She widens her eyes.

"Whatever." I fix my eyes to the road again.

"You did!"

"It was because it's Navya." I lie again.

Actually half lie.

"Yeah, right." She moves back to her phone to dial another number.

"Do I have to be an audience to another stupid conversation?" I roll my eyes.

"You can leave." She says.

"This is my car."

"You literally fought with me to sit in 'your car' so.."

I hold myself back from saying another word as she makes another call.

But whatever little calm that was in me before this moment, just turns into ashes as I hear the voice of this person.

"Nandini?"

"Karan.. hi."

"Hi? What the hell.. are you okay?"

She of course is.

"I am.. I am. I'm just called to know if you're okay because I might have scared you or something.."

"I searched for you but I couldn't find you.. I also came to the basketball court but it was locked.. I thought you left and your phone was switched off.. I couldn't reach you."

"It ran out of battery.. I'm sorry.."

"No. I am sorry.. I couldn't help.. I just got caught up bad with this thing-"

"It's okay."

"No. It's not. I didn't call Navya knowing that she'd freak out. I thought I should search sometime and then if I don't find you I will call her but I really had to leave because-"

"Oh for God's sake shut it, Nandini!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, something urges me to say that. An uncontrollable need to stop hearing this any further drove these words out of me. I don't know why. I just couldn't hear his so called 'concerned' rant anymore.

Nandini stares at me through the mirror and I try my best to avoid that.

"What? Who's that?" Karan asks.

"That's.. Manik." She says hesitantly.

That she is hesitant to say but she has no hesitation in bearing her heart out to him?!

"What? What are you doing with him Nandini?"

"Why, you have a problem with that?" I speak up reacting to his shocked tone.

"Am I on speaker?"

"Yeah. And Manik will you please mind your own business?!"

"Not when you're settling your business in my car."

"In his car?! What are you doing in his car?"

"Going home.. He found me and helped me get out."

"Nandini-"

"I'm okay.. Karan. Don't worry. Plus it's not that I'm alone with this asshole." She puts special emphasis in that last word and looks my way.

"Who else is there?"

"Sam is there with us. They.. let's just say they both found me."

"I.. listen, I'll meet you tonight and we'll talk then."

"Okay." The calmness in her voice returns and she sighs.

"Just call me when you reach home."

"It's not like I'm kidnapping her." I say.

"I don't trust you." Karan says.

"Okay.. okay! Bye Karan, I'll call you."

Saying that she disconnects the call.

I fix my eyes on the road but I can feel her burning glare at the back of my head. I know she's watching and I know she's annoyed.

But so am I.

I did not sign up for this either.

Not bothering about her glaring at me, I make the right turn to Sam's house.

"Why did you turn right?" Nandini asks.

"Because it's right." I say.

"That's not the road which will take us to our place." She argues.

"Yes because it's right and not left."

"What?!"

"That's.. that's where I live. That's the road to my house." Sam pipes in before I could say another word.

"Oh." She says and falls back into the seat.

The silence returns back, enveloping the ambience of the car once again.

Tiny droplets of water fall onto the windshield and before we know rain starts to pour down heavily.

"Close the window, Nandini." I remind her.

I don't want my car seats to get wet, obviously.

She gives me a sour look before leaning towards the window and presses the button to close it.

A few more minutes into the ride, we reach Sam's house. I stop the car outside the gates.

"That's me." He says looking back at Nandini.

"Oh. Okay. Well, thanks for the-"

"Ride?" I interrupt. "Save it until we reach home." I too turn around and smile smugly at her to which she rolls her eyes.

"The advices." She looks at him, smiling.

And it wasn't one of those smiles that she used to hide anything. It was that genuine smile of hers that was as true as her beauty.

I knew one advice he gave her but the advices? I didn't know what that was about.

"Anytime." He smiles back her and then looks at me.

"You're going to let me explain?" I ask.

"I'll call you." He says looking not so happy anymore.

"That's something."

Sam slips out of the car, into the heavy rain and closes the door. He waves a 'bye' to Nandini and ignores looking at me before he vanishes inside the huge gates of his house.

"Come in the front." I turn around to look at her again.

"What?" She frowns.

"Come in the front. Sit next to me." I say.

"No, thank you."

"I'm not asking."

"I don't care."

"The longer you take to do this, the more time you'll have to spend with me. And I promise, I won't make it any easier." I smile right at her.

"Why can't I sit here?" She asks.

"Because I'm not your chauffeur."

"I am not saying that."

"Just come in front or we don't move. Or even better. I'll come sit in the back with you and maybe then we'll..." I smirk as she stares at me with wide eyes, not sure of my intentions.

"No! I'm coming.. I'm coming!"

I laugh at her scared face, "Switch seats from here, don't go outside or I won't let you in."

"What do you mean?" She frowns.

"What I mean is, remove your shoes and step on the front seat and slide yourself forward and sit. If you go outside you'll wet yourself and then I won't let you in unless you dry up."

"Oh. Okay."

Nandini does what I said and lands in the seat right besides me.

"Seat belt." I say.

She rolls her eyes before pulling on the belt and putting it on.

"Can we go now?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

-----

Hey you guys!

I'm back again! And this time for good.

Next chapter coming up in a day or two!

Please ignore the typos.