When I'm writing this it's midnight right now and I'm staring at ceiling just thinking about life. Wondering if I'll ever live long enough to see my kids grow old or if I'll ever find true happiness. At this point I usually start having a life crisis and breakdown. But not this time.

This time when I shut my eyes and started crying, a small smile on my face crept out. My brain reminiscing my memories and moments with my Girlfriend, or rather I should say, "our" memories and moments as along with my heart I share them with you, every second of our skype calls, of our texting, our voice messages, every monthsary. I spent them smiling and feeling so much happiness, so much that it made our hand holding and kissing through our webcams feel so real that I could've sworn we were staring right at each other. Hands on top of each other, fingers intertwined, eyes of dark brown gazing into the eyes of blue and green, noses millimetres apart, cheeks as red as they could be, hearts pumping faster than ever before. As if you were in the same room as me, as if you shared the same I air I breathe.

I smile when I cried when thinking about life, not because I could be certain that I'd marry her and grow old with her as things like that are never certain. But I smile for the times she has spent with me, side by side, hearts hand in hand. I know if I at least do die later I lived a wonderful beautiful life, love by one of the most understanding, loving, caring,and gentle people out there.

God I love TabbithaKitty so much.
She is truly the love my life.

I wish I could just hold her hand right now