(Edited)

After breakfast, everything turned three-sixty. Mason and Ashton fought with Jason. Kate was in an awful mood, Michael disappeared, and I could feel horrible thoughts creep into my mind. Emily and Cassie decided to get a tan, and their boys joined them by swimming. Jason went to comfort Kate.

I decided that I needed some alone time, so I went to the sacred spot that I had a magnetic pull too. This place was utterly peaceful, but not enough to quiet my horrible thoughts. My life sucked, it hurt so bad to be alive ninety per cent of the time. If only I could die. If I died, no one would miss me; no one would care. Bags! I haven't had thoughts like these in quite a while. I messed up royally by befriending Michael and the gang.

At first, if I committed suicide it would only have been Emily to get hurt, not that her pain didn't matter to me, but she was only one person to get hurt; now six people could get hurt. I didn't want my friends to suffer because I couldn't hold on a bit longer. But sometimes staying strong was impossible. The other thing that sometimes stopped me from committing suicide was my past, even though I didnt remember it, I was determined to get back everything that I had lost; whatever that might have been.

"Hey," Ashton said, sitting next to me.

"Bags!" I jumped slightly. Startled, I placed my hand over my heart.

He chuckled and bumped his shoulder with mine. "I'm sorry, didnt mean to scare you." He apologized sincerely.

Not your fault, I was to focus on my suicidal thoughts to hear you coming. I shook my head and instead said that it was fine.

He broke the tension first. "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about Cassie. I didn't mean to hurt you." I could see it in his eyes that he meant it, I could have stayed mad at him, but I didn't want to, I missed my friend.

"It's okay Ashy-bear, you like her, and I'm happy for you." I smiled up at him. "But don't expect me to act any different with you, just because she's your girlfriend now." He chuckled.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." He threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. I accepted gladly and buried my face in his chest. "I'm really sorry Boo, for everything that the guys and I put you through."

He looked ashamed by their actions; he couldn't even meet my eyes. I realized that it pained me to see him so hurt, I had come to care so much for him in such a short time. He had been there for me, unknowingly, through all the pain and suffering, without complaining one bit about my mysteriousness.

"I forgave you the day you were willing to stand up for me." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Ash, for being here for me and being my friend. I hope you know that you mean the world to me."

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Ashton asked.

"It's not, I promise." He kissed the top of my head. "Not if I can help it," I mumbled, hoping he didn't hear me.

We sat together in silence, enjoying our surroundings. I decided that it was the perfect moment to tell Ashton what I told Jason and I did. He took it precisely as Jason did. He didnt pity me; he told me he was proud of me for being tough. He made the same promises that Jason made that they would be here for me from now on. That I could stop being so cautious because they had my back, and for once in two years, I could feel it. I felt so much lighter after that, and I was over the moon.

"Where the heck have you been?" Emily stormed up to me when I came back from my chat with Ashton. Her hair in a messy bun, clothes wrinkled and out of place. I smirked inwardly.

I shrugged casually, rocking on the heels of my foot. "Around."

She ignored me completely. "I've been looking everywhere for you. I was worried."

At this, I chuckled. "Everywhere you say? Like inside Mason's tent, on top of Mason, under Mason, all over Masons lips." I smirked and poked her nose, my next words laced with sarcasm. "Yes, its a mystery why you didn't find me."

She scowled. "A- I well I, oh shut up!" she exclaimed flustered. "How did you know?"

I chuckled and pulled her shirt to the side. "Maybe next time you should tell Mason to be a bit more discrete with where he leaves his marks."

Emily gasped and touched her neck. "He didn't?"

"Oh, but he did," I told her, amused.

Her face went from shock to anger, in a millisecond. She turned around, yelling at the top of her lungs. "Mason!"

Before I could ask her where everyone else was, I was swooped off my feet and over someones shoulder. Not again! My stomach didnt complain this time, I had my meds in, and it wasnt that bad. From my upside-down state, I couldnt tell much, but I knew it was Michael; his scent will forever be engraved in my heart.

"Payback, Princess." I didnt even have time to ask him what he meant because I was flying. I felt like a bird; my wings spread wide, carefree and ready to take on the world. The next thing I knew, I was plummeting down towards the water.

"Michael!"

I splashed into the water, sinking. Instead of coming up for air, I kicked the water and swam deeper; enjoying the serenity of the water. I only came up for air when my lungs started to feel like sandpaper rubbing against each other. Seven pair of eyes stared at me when I finally broke through the water.

"We thought something happened to you!" Michael said, angrily with panic. I shrugged, showing him that I was mad at him for throwing me in.

"Then you should have jumped in after me."

The rest of the afternoon we spent it swimming and having fun. Michael, for some reason, stayed in his playful mood. He was all over me, holding me, laughing with me, flirting and teasing me. It felt amazing. We ended the night by cuddling in his tent. He forced me to wear one of his hoodys, which I liked more than Mason's and held me close. I laid with my head on his chest, and his arms were wrapped lazily around me. I felt at home. It hit me like a ton of bricks; I liked Michael, loved how I felt in his arms, in his presence. I didnt want to spoil things with him by asking him silly questions, so I pushed my feelings aside and just enjoyed the moment. I would worry about it later.

Michael kissed my temple. "Can I ask you something?" I looked up at him through my lashes and waited for his question.

"What do you buy from Dustin?" I stilled. His voice was barely a whisper, and I could see the battle behind his eyes. There was more to his question, but he settled for something simple instead. I knew I couldnt play dumb or tell him the truth, so I settled for something in between.

I drew patterns on his shirt to distract myself. "I got hurt a while back, and it's struggling to heal. The medication I need needs a prescription or a guardian because I'm not eighteen yet." I explained. I could feel his chest rise and fall a bit more rapidly. "I didn't want to involve my parents because it wasn't that bad, or it was, but I didn't want to freak them out. So, I buy the prescription from him."

He only mumbled okay and pulled me a bit closer. I didnt feel that much guilt because ninety per cent of that story was the truth. Whilst falling asleep, my eyes too heavy to open. I heard him whisper. "I wish you would tell me the whole truth."

***

I hated nightmares, partially for two reasons.

1] They were scary.

2] They left me feeling uneasy and gross.

Waking up in the middle of the night, sweat plastered all over your face, clammy hands and paranoia engraved on your body. The horrible nightmare on replay in your mind and no matter how many times you tried to shake it lose it still clung to you like glue. If only I could have common, bedtime story monsters, nightmares I wouldnt freak out so much. If only my nightmares consisted of slimy monsters going bump in the night. But no mine was real; flesh and bones, ugly, horrifying, repulsive vultures. The nightmare was one of my repressed memories from the first few nights that I got here. My bruised body hurt terribly from the previous two nights of being beaten and struck down by anything and everything he could find around him. Screaming for dear life, I hoped that all of it was just a nightmare. Instead, I realized it wasnt a bad dream, but I was living a nightmare.

Those few nights were the absolute worst, with every hit that came I begged him to come to save me; someone that I was more afraid of than my foster dad, but him being there would have been ten times better.

After waking up with a jolt, thankful that the nightmare ended there before it got to the worst part of that night, I left the tent. My heartbeat was uncontrollable, my palms sweaty, and my mind was clouded. I couldnt go back to sleep after that, and I didnt want to wake Michael up. I pulled the hoody tighter against me and sat down at the edge of the docks. I hated how nightmares made me feel, the horrible effect they had on me; the one where he hit me was the worse. It frightened me down to my core, knowing that he had the power to beat me until I wished for death. Thinking back to that day, I couldnt remember who I cried out for.

'Your knight in shining tinfoil,' Lilly chuckled. I smiled slightly, her familiar voice soothing me.

"Hey", I looked up and saw Michael standing next to me. He wrapped a blanket around me and sat down.

"Thanks." I pulled the blanket tighter.

We didnt talk to each other; we only sat and enjoyed being in each others company. I could feel that he wanted to ask me what was wrong, but he held himself back, I was grateful for it. I couldnt help myself and stare at him. His face looked peaceful, calm even. The moonlight shining so beautiful, making a sparkle of something shine in his jaded-green eyes. For someone that bullied me for two years, I couldnt help but feel drawn. He was handsome. His perfect jawline had me reaching forward to touch him, but I held back. His precious black hair displayed messily on his head from running his hands through them to much. He was simply perfection. Whilst sitting here with him, I realized that he wasnt a bad guy, only misunderstood.

Michael shifted his attention to me. Caught staring at him, I looked away shyly. I felt his finger under my chin, pulling it upwards so I would look at him again. This time, his eyes held mine, and I couldnt look away, hypnotized by his natural beauty. His thumb moved over my cheek, caressing it. My stomach got a weird fluttering feeling; I loved that he was the cause of it. I bit my lip nervously, our face inches apart. His eyes shot down and zeroed in on my lips. Licking his own, he moves his thumb down to my lips, grazing over it achingly slow. Goosebumps. He leaned in, and I felt myself do the same, our eyes closed, and my heart fluttered. Our lips brushed lightly against each other, electricity igniting my body, before he pulled away, leaving me confused and frustrated.

"Sorry," he mumbled, pulling away completely.

I took a deep breath to calm my, over the speed limit, heartbeat. How many times have we nearly kissed; four, five and every time someone interrupts, or he pulls away. For once in almost two years was I ready and the fact that it was with Michael said a lot. I looked over at him and saw a lot of different emotions all over his face; regret, sadness, lust and the most evident, longing. This time I pulled his face towards me, I thought he might pull away, but he just stared at me, waiting.

I placed my hand on his face, holding it in place. "You're pushing it. Youre trying to do something you aren't ready for. Don't. You're conflicted, and I'm sure you have your reasons but don't make me suffer because of it." He tried looking away, but I held him firmly. "Take your time, I'll wait." I placed a sweet, comforting kiss on his cheek and stood up. Wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, I left him to his own thoughts.

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