Chase didn't know what to think.

Not very long ago he was completely on Sean's side. He hated Anti and tried to kill him just yesterday because of things he apparently didn't do or didn't do willingly.

And now . . . . . here he was at his apartment again having helped try and save him from Sean.

And now . . . . he could feel it. The difference. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

He was free.

But what did that mean, exactly?

He had wandered away from the others and their hugging and crying. They were happy and overjoyed and that was okay. They had obviously all formed a bond with Anti. But Chase . . . he didn't feel. . .  welcome. Like he should be there. He felt as if he was intruding on a private moment.

Jackie was holding the glitch the closest, burying his face in Anti's hair with tears in his eyes. Did Jackie really come to love him so much after so little time? But how? How could he have just looked past everything and just TRUST Anti for his word?

Jackie noticed Chase's staring and blinked at him, still hugging Anti and wiping the tears away.

"You tried to help in the end"

Chase didn't know what to reply to that. He actually felt bad for everything beforehand. Especially for trying to kill him.

"I . . . . . . . . yeah"

Anti broke free out of his brothers' grasp and stared over at him with tired eyes, "Th-thank you"

Again, Chase didn't know what to say but just nodded a bit awkwardly, looking away. He couldn't look Anti in the eyes.

"Question!" Henrik popped up, holding his hand up, "So . . . you are actually Sam? Vhat do we call you? I am confused on zhat matter"

Anti shook his head, "I USED to be Sam . . .  but after Sean  . . .  re-tuned me . . he took away most of the parts that used to be Sam . . and well . .  added other things. I'm Anti. That doesn't change."

Jameson nodded, 'Still! I would have never guessed! Even with all the doodles in your sketch books and the Sam plushie in your closet!'

"Jaammesoooooon!" Anti whined.

Chase wanted to laugh but really this whole day was just one big fiasco. A big jumbled mess of crazy and all he wanted now was to just sleep for days.

Finally Jackie let Anti go and helped him up in his chair, "It's alright. We all saw the plushie. Except Chase that is. Chase, you wanna see it?"

"Hey!"

Chase bit his lip and shook his head, "I'll uh . . take your word for it"

"Dude, stop being so awkward" Marvin called him out.

"I'm not-"

"Yeah you are" the magician smirked but turned serious very quickly, "Look, man. If Anti was mad at you, he wouldn't have still freed you. Doesn't mean we ALL have to forgive you for what you did but we'll get there!"

Chase didn't like how that was worded but nodded.

He looked over to Anti but even he didn't really want to look him in the eye.

"So!" Jackie broke the silence, "Who's hungry? How about a little celebration!?"

Anti gasped and looked up at him with hopeful eyes, "Pizza!?"

Marvin scoffed, "We have a perfectly good fresh chicken in your fridge, Anti!"

The glitch spazzed, "I already told you, I'm not eating Cluck Vader!"

"What?" Chase didn't get a story but he could piece it together when Anti continued his rant.

"You're lucky you didn't get Pepper or else I would have been REALLY mad!"

Marvin just waved it off, "Eh, you'll get hungry enough eventually"

"Anyway" Jackie segwayed, "Pizza! Let's do it! What kind does everyone want?"

Chase stayed out of the conversation. He did want to. . . . well, he didn't think he deserved an opinion, really.

"What kind you want, Chase?" Anti asked him, pulling him out of his depressing thoughts.

Chase blinked a few times but the more he looked at Anti, he couldn't help but get angry again.

He clenched his fists and glared at him and the others were suddenly prepared to beat him.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?! YOU COULD HAVE, YOU KNOW!? You had SO many chances so long ago! In our heads when possessing us, on the streets, at the fucking general store!"

"That's already been explained, Chase" Henrik tried to calm him but Chase just scoffed.

"NO! SHUT UP! He was at the store the same time as me that day! You could have said something then! Why didn't you!? Why'd you let me believe SEAN!? All this time! All this fucking time, HE'S the one that killed my family!?"

"Chase-" Anti tried to reply.

"ALL THIS TIME!" Chase had tears streaming down his face and grit his teeth hard against each other, "You could have . . . . why didn't you say anything BEFORE?"

" . . .I . . . . .  I was-" Anti seemed ashamed and looked away, "I was afraid you wouldn't . . believe me"

Chase was about to yell again but Jackie stepped in, "Come on, Chase. You're really telling me that if Anti told you back then, you would have listened? Be real here. NONE of us would have believed him"

"Then why did you?"

"That's . . . that's different" Jackie smiled and pat Anti's shoulder, "He had a lot to argue with me about. And it's not like I was stuck to Sean's side 24/7. Plus, BB seemed to really love him so he had that on his side, too, at the time. And he offered me coffee"

"Vhy wasn't I offered coffee!?" Henrik shouted, "Damn you! Vere is zhe machine, again?"

They pointed and Henrik strut off towards it.

Chase sighed, "I guess you're right . . . .. . sorry"

"It's alright" Anti nodded, "I understand. I was afraid you wouldn't believe me, though AND I thought you'd beat me in the alley back then. I was prepared for Jackie when I lured him and trapped him in chains"

"What?"

Jackie grunted, "Long story. Anyway. . .  can we all just talk over pizza?"

"Yeah, I need cheese in me. Mmmmmmm" Marvin groaned.

'Thought you wanted the chicken?' Jameson asked.

"Shut up. I want pizza now"

Chase shrugged, "One question. Where's everyone gonna live now?"

'Oh shit' Anti froze, 'I didn't think about that!'

"Uh. . ."

Marvin rolled his eyes, "You didn't think about it. . . . did you?"

". . . . . Not really. You all can stay here for a while though if you want. I can get discounts on blow up mattresses from Sherry at the furniture store"

Marvin rolled his eyes, "Are you forgetting about the all-powerful magician!?"

Anti's eyes watered, "But we can get lemonade and cookies when we go"

"AH!" Jackie shouted, "You just wanna see that guy at the furniture store that's been stalking you!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"YES YOU DO! ADMIT IT!"

As they argued, Chase kept his mouth shut, 'Damn . . . that guy Zane, right? Shit, did Anti actually have a crush on him? Did I mess it up for him?' 

And yet another thing to feel bad about.

But he could help him out now, "Uh . .  you mean that guy, Zane?"

Anti froze, "The. . . . the guy with black hair and dark clothes?"

Chase nodded.

Marvin snorted, "The one that kinda looks like Dark?"

Anti sent a small shock towards him to shut him up.

"Ow! Little  . . bitch" he muttered.

Chase just nodded, "Yeah. I uh . . . saw him at the furniture store the other day. He . . .he noticed I looked like you and started talking to me. Wanted me to tall ya his name is Zane. He's kinda awkward and shy but I don't think he's a bad guy"

"Hey, sounds like YOU" Jackie joked with Anti.

Anti groaned but didn't shock him. It wouldn't have that much effect on Jackie, anyway now.

"Sounds okay . . . but I'm going on a date with Gabriella next week. Unless she doesn't work out, I guess Zane will have to wait. I've never even spoken to him before. You sure he ain't just a creep?"

Chase shrugged, "I don't know  . . but anyway" he tried moving the subject forward, "I think . .  I think I'm gonna go find a place of my own. I have money that Sean's given me for doing his grunt work . . . I'll just . . get my own place"

Anti nodded, "Hey, I think this apartment complex has some available! I can try and get you a discount for referring you!"

". . . . . . .  I'm just gonna. . . . I wanna get away for a while. You know? Soak everything in. It's a completely new feeling we're all getting introduced with. I think I'm less anxious about it but that's probably because I'm usually out more than the others." he nodded to himself, "I'm just gonna go"

He turned away and Henrik made a surprised noise, "You're not going to stay for dinner?"

Chase didn't look back at them but opened the door to leave, "I need to go now. . . . . Just chill dudes. . . not like we won't see each other again." he nodded to Anti but didn't waste any more time, walking about of the apartment and shutting the door behind him.

"Damn" Jackie huffed, "I guess Chase still has some shit to go over in his head. That's alright. I think he'll come around soon now. After everything that's happened, I don't see why not."

Anti shrugged. He felt a little sad but he kept trying to tell himself that it didn't matter now what Chase did. He was free and that was all that mattered.

He couldn't just leave Chase chained to Sean. Especially not after he had taken control over him like that.

Chase walked up the sidewalk, going past the bar. He didn't feel like drinking right now. A real shocker, right?

No, in light of all the secrets Sean kept from them all, the one about his family hit the worst.

'He got rid of them . ..  just. . . just like that. Because why? He wanted me to feel pain? Get in that character mindscape?'

Just the mere thought of it made his stomach and throat burn.

'Stacey . . ..  and Sammy and Kallie. I remember them every day. Were they even ever real or did Sean just put them in my head like a figment of my imagination?'

But he could guess the right answer.

He HAD them in his life. And Sean ripped them away, blaming it all on Anti.

'I just had to blame someone. Anyone. And Anti was the easiest target because of what Sean was making him do. When he .. .  still had his claws in him. Wrapped him in chains, too'

His chest hurt and he felt his eyes water but he wiped them so he wouldn't cry. He shook his head. He couldn't cry right now. He could cry later.

'I was completely fooled. Sean's jester. I wonder what they all thought of me. They were all together about to free themselves without me. I wonder.  . .  were they just gonna leave me behind?'

Of course they were and he knew it, 'I deserve it. I didn't deserve to be freed. I shot Anti . . .  I shot him in cold blood. Even after we shared drinks and . . . . and he wasn't so bad! And he was nice at the general store, too, that day! Why didn't I. . . . Why am I always such an idiot!?'

He couldn't stop feeling so guilty. It was all his fault. Everything.

If he hadn't told Sean about Jackie not working out, told him about shooting Anti. If he hadn't shot Anti . . ..  if he had just spent more time with his brothers instead of Sean . . . if he had just listened to Anti . . . .

As he walked, he came to a slow stop, realizing where he was.

When he had shot the video with Sean, it had been in California but they recreated it as best they could. . . . 

Chase blinked slowly, 'Why did I walk all the way out here?'

It was the resting place he made  . . for his family. The little rocks in the wooded clearing by the river. 

He had walked for so long and so far out of town, he hadn't even realized it was night now and he was in the forest.

He had known the way without even looking around at his surroundings.

He couldn't stop the tears this time and let them crawl down his face.

Chase slowly fell onto his knees in front of the little rocks. They hadn't been moved or messed with since the last time he came.

He dug into his pocket and took out a folded piece of paper. Unraveling it, he opened it up to reveal a picture of his lost family.

A small smile slid on his face but he frowned quickly after, closing his eyes, putting the picture on the rocks.

Chase sighed heavily and spoke, his voice hoarse, "It's been a while . . . . were you all even real? I mean . . . . . how real were you? I don't think you all got to 'live' for very long when he . . ."

He cleared his throat and looked away, "I used to think that if . .  that if I killed the man that took you all from me . . .that I'd feel better. Only to find out I shot the wrong man"

He could hear crickets in the distance along with frogs croaking in the night. Not a rustle was heard, it was so still yet so peaceful sounding.

Chase sighed, "And I can't kill Sean . . . . I kind of want to but . . . I know better than all of them what he's been going through, too. He's grieving, himself. He's depressed. Even with Evelien and BB around, it doesn't seem to matter. They give him some happiness but the pain is still there just as strong. And yet. . . . . I've never been more angry with him. . . . . . should I be angry? He didn't treat me too bad"

He blinked slowly and sighed again, "But the more I think about it . . . . I see now what my brothers had been put through. Cooped up and locked away. Jackie used as a body guard without a life of his own . . .Hen, James, and Marv forbidden to leave his head without a good enough reason. It was wrong. Now that I'm . . . free . . . .I can see him as the jailor he was and yet I'm not angry with him. Not completely anyway."

He rubbed his thumb over the picture of his wife and kids, "I'm mad at myself . . . . I was  . ..  so blind. So fucking stupid, I see that now. I can't face them, even if they forgive me. Even if Anti forgives me. Not now. Not yet. Just need . . . some time. Get a job, a place of my own . . .  maybe then. . . . . what do you think, Stace?"

The air around him was silent and he blinked, "I'm talking to an inanimate object. . . . ." he shook his head, "I wonder if you're just dead or if Sean erasing you meant eradicating you totally. You in heaven? Or is it like you never existed at all?"

Only the crickets answered him with their songs.

Only the calm sounds of the forest surrounded him.

'I hope your souls are still out there. . . .  I like to think you're watching over me. Not doing a very good job, though, are you guys?' he lightly smiled, 'Nah, your husband and dad is just an idiot is all.  . . . . . .

. . . . . . that's all'

He imagined the others were eating and laughing together having fun and everything.

'I'm sorry, Anti . . .  . I'm sorry Stacey . . . Kallie .. . Sammy'

He wasn't ignorant to the irony of his son's name but couldn't think about that anymore right now.

'I'm so sorry for failing you'

.

.

.

.

"I'll try and do better from now on"