*Xavier's p.o.v.*

I was still in shock, not being able to get my head around it. We both still in the same position, non of us dared to move. I stared at her eyes, which showed emotions I couldn't understand while her face had non.

I couldn't believe it. How can someone not give any reaction when kissed? Oh! Sorry I just forgot she is not one of those someone.... But still.....

It's like the kiss didn't bother her. Like it meant nothing to her. Like she just couldn't feel.

It kind of hurts you know to that this kiss meant the world to me but nothing to her. I wanted to cry, burst out, yet couldn't.

I hated to admit how much I hated it. Yet I couldn't help but helplessly fall for her.

Can my love ever have a chance? Will these feelings ever progress? Will I ever succeed in making her feel the same as I feel for her?

Questions are many but answers are non.

Even though I understand her feelings quite a bit, yet there are it seems I know nothing about her. She is like a puzzle that I seem to have failed to solve. I don't seem to understand her feelings when I try to consider my place in her heart. Only if I could understand what she actually felt, what her heart actually wanted, what were her true feelings....

But what ever it was her coldness was hurting my heart. It felt as if I really meant nothing to her, nothing...

Every time I try to imagine a future with her, her coldness always shatters my hopes.

She was always bipolar when it came about our relation..... At times she was like the only person and at times she pushed me away like I was no less than a stranger.

Only if she knew her acts were tearing my heart apart....

Why? Why was she like that? Why won't she show expressions? Why is it her eyes that speak more that her lips? Why does her face always have a cold look? Why does she always shoves away every single bit of warm feelings letting her heart remain cold?

Why?....

It's not like these questions never crossed my mind but I let it blow, but not this time....

I had to know the answer, I needed to know the answers.....

I won't let it go that easily....

Before we both even realized, that's when the door banged open....

"Yo peasant! You won't believe wha-" Shit! It was Anna. "What is going on here?" Anna seemed really shook.

That's when our brains remained us that we were still in the same position...

I jumped away from Angel....trying to fix myself, while Angel just got up and fixed herself still seated.

Shit! This is so embarrassing. And the worst part is it was my sister who found us in this position.

Reasons for being embarrassed:

1. Angel was her best friend.

2. This position.

3. Angel and I aren't in relationships... (If we were I would care less about any of the reasons above. Like seriously...)....

Anna still standing on the doorway her arms crossed on her chest with the expression, "Care to explain?"...

"W-Well...umm...you see...hmm..t-there was this bottle....and...I-I tripped and fell on Angel..." I stuttered. (Not because I was embarrassed or something but my heart was beating so fucking hard due to Angel's presence, and the memory of the kiss we shared wasn't helping at all).

"Jesus Christ! Are you okay." Anna asked very concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine." I replied forcing a smile.

"Yo bitch! Who the fuck is asking you? I'm talking to Jadey. And do I look like I give a fuck what happens to you." Anna gave me the bitchy face.

Seriously....

I look at her as my jaw dropping. Though it's not the first time, we sort off insults each other like this all the time.

"Move away." She pushes me away and hugged Angel.

"Are you okay?" She coos.

"Anna, chill we just fell on the bed, it's not like I died." To my surprise Angel sounded so calm and chill as if nothing ever happened. And here my heart was killing me as pouted so damn fucking hard.

"But still he is too heavy. I thought you might have crushed you." Anna relay sounded silly.

"It's not heavy weight that kills you it's the mental pain that crushes you." Angel whispered under her breath.

"Huh?" Anna asked.

"Nothing."

Even though Anna didn't understand a word I heard every single word very clearly.

Why would she say something like that? I thought...

"Wait!" Anna paused. I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Jadey don't tell me you tried Kylie lip challenge!" Anna huffed.

"What? No."

"Then why are your lips soo pink and swollen?"

Holy fuck! That was from the kiss we shared a while ago....it was from biting and nipping on her lips....

Angel gently traced her fingers tips on her swollen pink lips.

"Oh! It's from the kiss Xavier and I shared a while ago." Angel shrugged.

I wiped my head staring astonished at her. She bluntly just said it.

What?!?!

Well it's not like I hate to accept that we shared a kiss rather very happy about it. But how can she just bluntly say it out like that as if it didn't mean a thing to her. As if it was just nothing. How?

Little did she know that she held my heart on her palm that she was slowly crushing.

I wanted to burst out with my pain. But couldn't.

"Wait! What? Omg! You guys are together? How come you guys never told me." Anna pouted. "I mean I knew you both had a thing but at least telling me would have been better. Duh! People! Hello!" Anna waved her hands.

"You really assume things fast, don't you? We are not together." Angel rolled her eyes. It seemed like she never cared.

Anna looked a little shocked. She look at me with a little pain in her eyes, not for herself but for me. She seemed to have noticed my feelings towards Angel. She really seemed to feel the pain. But Angel didn't seem to notice.

"Umm...so what were you guys watching?" Anna tried to lighten the mood.

"13 reasons why." I said faking a smile.

"Okay lets watch together."

-----------------

It was 10 pm now and Angel already left. Anna and I had talked about what happened after we finished dinner. I told her everything, including my feelings, and kiss part, how it hurt me. Everything.

Anna only consulted me by saying that Angel was always like that. She feels something, she says something, she does something else.

I laid down my body om the bed trying to get some sleep but seems like it was too stubborn to come. But it wasn't the sleep but thoughts of Angel that were bothering me.

I silently lay and replay everything single event since the day Angel and I met. Carefully analyzing her behavior, her way of expressing, everything I could get my head around.

And it seemed as if Angel actually felt something but miserably failed to express it. She says she doesn't care, but her eyes says the opposite, and her actions shows some other things. Her every single word they had a pain and I needed to figure it out.

She being emotionless didn't seemed to be a huge deal before yet bothered me a little making me curious but now that I look back it is not something normal for a human either.

The curiosity kept me hanging on the cliff I couldn't take it no more.

I grabbed my laptop and searched informations about being emotionless. About an hour or two of research I found it is a mental disorder called Alexithymia.

I compared Angel behavior with the symptoms and figured she is actually Alexithymic. It is emotional blindness. In this disorder the patient can't feel a thing. It can be caused due to a lot of reasons which even included horrible past.

I'm not pretty sure which one is the reason but I sure am gonna find out and fix it....

And that's a promise to my Angel....For the sake of my Angel, her future, for the sake of love.....

*************

Hey lovelies!

Whatsupp whatsupp?

How do you like this chapter? Hope I didn't screw up things....but trust me guys now the story is gonna get more and more intense so weak hearted people please we aware. And things are gonna get more and more messed up.

So buckle your seat belt passenger cause we are gonna take off in no time...

To know more please....

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