Yesterday evening when I opened my twitter I couldn't believe what I was reading.. Everywhere in my timeline was the news and thoughts and prayers for Johannah,Louis and Tomlinson family.. Some were donating to charities.. Some were in shock and others were in disbelief like me.

Johannah was so young and her heart was pure gold.. I still remember the interviews where boys were asked who's most likely to call his mom... And everyone pointed to Louis.. My heart aches when I think about him now... What he is going through..
Jay has left us with the sweetest memories possible.. She was a fighter.. She fought leukemia without even giving a hint about it..

From some time I was wondering why Louis eyes are looking sleep deprived in all his recent pics and even the b'day video msg that he sent to one of his fan.. To that some people told me that he might be partying hard.. I was not satisfied with the reason but I hoped it to be true..

But now yesterday night my doubt was cleared. I was shaken to the core by this untimely news.. I mean its December .. Christmas month.. Louis birthday and we all know he is mama's boy. They are on a break specially to spend time with their loved ones and this horrible thing happens..

I can't imagine him to be sad.. Out of all the boys he is the strongest yet nobody can be that strong to take this all in and smile.. But I do hope he gets that million dollar smile back soon.

Tonight he is gonna perform in X factor final.. To pay tribute to his mother.. I can't fathom how he is going to do it without breaking down.. I mean I can't imagine myself in his place and to be that strong.
But then he is Louis Tomlinson not me or any one else. He can do anything that he wants and I am gonna support him throughout.

The only warmth on yesterday's cold sorrowful night was the tweet of Zayn.. That tweet melted my heart.. I wanted him to tweet to his one time brother best friend and I was so glad when he did. Liam's msg was so thoughtful and emotional I couldn't hold back my tears after that... they just kept on rolling.

The amount of love Louis and his family is getting from across the world by the 1D family, zquad and all the rest of the world is truly what brings us together as humans. Whatever our paths maybe but we unite to support each other in grief.

Lastly I will miss Johannah for the woman she was.. helping caring loving protective friendly motherly.. The amount of people she has helped through charity works in her life are the little stars she has left behind to always cherish her persona with gratitude and a smile.

Rest in peace Jay
Always in our heart J.