I WAS WRONG
No words come in my mind
to express my guilt which is tearing me apart from that night.
I'm left completely repentant
from the time I heard
you are unwell.
These moments can't be forgiven.
I know it is all my wrong.
You don't deserve
what you've faced all along.
For your love made me strong.
I can still hear your name
in my eardrums.
Now you are deceased
and people say it's lifelong.
I wish I could do something
and swap your fears,
your endless tears
and all your despairs..
Because this pain you are feeling
is mine and not yours.
I know I was wrong
to leave you all alone.
I made your days
darker than midnight.
Amidst sunshine
I created a void.
I know I am wrong
& even if I write a book of songs
saying sorry all along,
it doesn't matter how long,
it will only remind you of me
which I know you shouldn't feel.
I wanna hide so bad.
So bad.. so bad
that all else seems flat.
No dimension, just a needle point
which is ready to poke my skin
and make it red.
I think if it all goes red
and I am left blood wet
ounce by ounce I will feel your pain with the same brutal-ness.
I can't see you
waiting to embrace death
as if it's one of your oldest friend.
I thought time will mend
the broken glass
and you will see clear
in the distant path.
Little did I know
that you're hurting yourself
with those shards.
Picking each one
& making an intricate design
A scar to remember.
A wish denied.
A love forbidden and
an empty heart
to hold it all with pride.
I messed it up
so I should be dealing
with all this nonsense.
Not you or anybody else!
I want the doctor to work
with your memory cells
and erase all your sufferings
with their magical acts.
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